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Re: If not now, when? ---Phillipa Phillipa

Posted by SLS on September 26, 2006, at 12:16:11

In reply to If not now, when? ---Phillipa, posted by Jost on September 26, 2006, at 10:35:40

Jost is giving you a gentle nudge again.

I like his approach. You can continue to discuss with your doctor the merits of treatment with Emsam. There really is no rush. You are intelligent enough for this stuff. Start using that nurse brain of yours to consider Emsam and other treatments medically. Use your training to approach things with the medical knowledge and scientific logic you were so good at. You are a professional. Be stronger than your past and allow your professional achievements and survivalist spirit rise above your old and useless fears. Make decisions based on intellect; your motivation powered by a fierce drive to finally have a life filled with rich and rewarding experiences.

If not now, when? You don't have to rush to decide to take a drug. If not now, when? Make now the time that you begin to live the rest of your life. Make now the time you decide to fight to regain control of the inner Jan. Jan is there. Be Jan right now. Leave your fears somewhere else. They are not part of Jan. Let Jan start to make the decisions. Crap. I'm beginning to sound like an evangalist or a psychologist. Really, though. Do it. Do it now. Not later. Not after you read more posts. Do it right now as you are reading and then re-reading this one. There is a forever-young, vital, strong, angry, determined, and adult Jan inside ready and capable of dealing with old and useless fears and putting them in their place. For now, they belong compartmentalized. There are real reasons why they exist, but they do not belong in the present. They belong in a box where you can deal with them at a time of your choosing. Now is not that time. Now is the time to allow the adult Jan to begin to work on the logical consideration of Emsam along with other drugs as treatments for Major Depressive Disorder and possibly Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Take control right now.

Now you can go back to the top and start over.

:-)


- Scott


-------------------------------------------------


> Hi, Phillipa.
>
> You said the your pdoc appointment was today.
>
> Again, I wanted to add my voice to Scott's in his last post.
>
> But if you don't feel ready for the Emsam, why don't you mostly talk to your pdoc about taking it?
>
> Make another appointment with him for next week or two weeks, to talk about it again. Focus on the project of taking small steps over time toward Emsam. Maybe using paxil in the meantime, but with the idea that you have a goal and you'll work toward making it less frightening, and more doable.
>
> Or go to a counselor. There must be someone you can afford on a once a week basis.
>
> Are you depriving yourself of a life, perhaps for historical (your own history) reasons? Didn't you say your husband is a workaholic? Wouldn't he love to have you back again?
>
> Wouldn't you love to have yourself back again?
>
> As the sage says, If I'm not for myself, who will be? If I'm only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?
>
> Try to think about the first and third questions.
>
> Jost
>
>
>
>

 

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