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Re: anybody ever feel lost w/o their depression? nickguy

Posted by river1924 on September 21, 2006, at 2:22:52

In reply to anybody ever feel lost w/o their depression?, posted by nickguy on September 20, 2006, at 19:19:11

Well, I've been on this trip for almost twenty years and... I recall that feeling. A few times it meant my meds had turned me into a zombie.... Early on, I felt lonely and numb when an anti-depressant (or some other drug) would work and "hate" the drug. Over time I've learned to retry meds and realized sometimes that it took away or added emotions to my life I hadn't even known I had because I was so used to either feeling it/not feeling it.

It still happens. My best improvement was a monthlong zen meditation retreat. I lost my fear and felt so open and (even stopped a few meds) and... there it was again, loneliness.

I felt like I was doing something wrong. I had been in various degrees of pain so long that skills many people have, I lacked. I spent to much time protecting myself and being apathetic and nurturing myself as I grew up... that when I didn't need to do those things, I didn't know what to do with myself.

I just read about some people who had an experimental procedure that put two thin wires into an area of the brain called the subgenual cingulate region (Brodmann area 25.) An slight electrical current pulses in the wire. Some people who had severe untreatable depression for years were suddenly, in the blink of an eye, okay.

The scientist involved, Dr Mayberg, said they needed several months of therapy to adjust to life and develop aspirations and skills that had wilted years, decades earlier.

Later and Peace, R. (I hope you keep missing your depression [I mean I hope it doesn't come back] and then, maybe, stop thinking about it when you develop other interests. That would be great.)


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poster:river1924 thread:687726
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060919/msgs/687832.html