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Re: I don't want to go to the hospital...blueberry

Posted by helpme on July 1, 2006, at 18:13:36

In reply to Re: I don't want to go to the hospital...blueberry BrianBoru, posted by Larry Hoover on May 23, 2006, at 21:42:39

Dear Blueberry,

I suggest you do anything ANYTHING humanly possible to stay out of the hospital, unless you have a damn good current and verified guarentee it''s ok there in the one you choose. And i mean it- if you are suicidal, maybe you have family, etc who can talk you through it. My own hospital stay, at a "top teaching hospital", "the best" in my big city, was a living nightmare out of the 18th century. Let's call it, just hypothetically, "Northwestern Memorial Hospital" of Chicago. They put depressed and anxious but otherwise nice, sane normal people in with raging and violent scary psychotics who scared the living daylights out of the rest of us. One staffer let me know, yes, they were dropped off by the police who collect them nightly- no where else to keep them. The staff repeatedly pondered, "So, are you anxious? Guess you're not ready to leave yet". This, after a man would barge into my room, another spent his time staring at me, giggeling to himself (masterbating), someone spit in my food, a lady threatened to kill me--convincingly. What did the staff do? Say I was "anxious" and took some more notes. When I didn't "socialize" with these scary and creepy people, they said I was "isolating myself"--more evidence I wasn't ready to leave. I stayed in my room freaking out for my safety and sanity, damning myself for being fool enough to being talked into going in. Mentally ill was all the same to them. And on intake they asked me my level of education. When I said :"grad degree", the intake person looked at me and said, "so, you are trying to tell me that YOU managed to COMPLETE graduate school? Do you know what that even is?" I guess mentally ill=retarded. When my voice and temper snapped as result, they put me into an "isolation room". I was accused of trying to commit suicide, too- when I did nothing of the sort. I lost all rights and credibility there. No one believes the mental patient- they believe "the staff". When I finally managed to get out after a week, I had about a year of nighmares. Even if I get hit by a truck, I will NEVER visit an emergency room again due to the intense fear I still have from the experience. I still do not trust mental health workers due to their severe failure of judgement in this setting.




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