Psycho-Babble Medication | about biological treatments | Framed
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Re: Hospital question? Not sure where to post 4WD

Posted by Racer on January 3, 2006, at 23:49:35

In reply to Re: Hospital question? Not sure where to post Racer, posted by 4WD on January 3, 2006, at 22:04:31

> I can only see three reasons for going to the hospital:
> 1. You are suicidal

I'm pretty close. I have no plan, but that doesn't mean it ain't been on my mind. I think that's why this is a grey zone: since I'm not *actively* suicidal, does that mean hospital or not?

Keeping always in mind that I don't eat in hospital. While that sounds like a very, very good thing to me, it really isn't so great...

> Have you reduced all your meds since starting to try to get pregnant? Is that why you are so depressed? Did you add the Clomid at the same time?

Well, I stopped Cymbalta more from side effects and doubting it was doing anything for me, rather than for the babymaking. But we did raise the Wellbutrin and add Buspar. That was yesterday, so no change yet, obviously. Those are both Catagory B.

The Clomid I started in November. The first month was wild in a rather nice way: the first few weeks, when it was upping my estrogen, I felt better than I had in -- in memory, really. But the second cycle, the doctor raised it. That set off the wild ride.

Next cycle, if I'm not pregnant this month, the doctor has said we're going back down on the Clomid, which I very much hope helps.

> You said that if you gave up on the idea of having a child there would be no reason to live. I don't think you would feel that way if you weren't depressed in the first place.

Nope. I've always felt that way, in remission, in depression, etc. That's the one constant in my life, ever since before the first time I got pregnant (in my teens, when I think it was contagious...). The only thing that's stayed the same in my ambitions was wanting children, ever since I was a child.

> I think (just my opinion) your first concern should be for yourself. Can you handle being off meds for months while you try to conceive and for more months while you are pregnant? Can you live the way you feel right now?

I don't know. And I don't think I can really make my mood my first concern -- because I've been in treatment now for two and a half years without remission. In fact, I'm feeling much worse lately than I did a year ago. (When I was thin.) I think putting my own treatment first would become a full time job, forever, which is something else I couldn't handle.

> Most of the ADs say it's okay to take them during pregnancy if the benefits outweigh the risks. In your case, I think they do.

They say that, but they don't really know. What they do know is that many of the ADs cause serious birth defects/resorbtion in test animals, in high numbers. And no matter how bad this is, I just can't see trying to stay on a med that would be so risky.

> It's possible that getting pregnant would improve your depression. It' also possible you could suffer a severe post partum depression.

That's a big fear of mine. Thankfully, I have some good enough support to help with that, and I think we can plan on it happening, so we won't be surprised by it...

> God, this post is rambling and mostly a downer. I'm sorry. It was just some things that popped in my head when I read your post.
> Marsha

S'OK. Just remember, though, that *I* am the Empress of Rambling Posts. You can only be the princess.




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