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2 years then Anxiety Attack... what would you do?

Posted by Mike081078 on August 15, 2005, at 16:14:36

I've been coasting along pretty steady for the past 2 years. So much so that when my Therapist retired my M.D. thought I was doing good enough that I could survive without one.

Which I've done for the last year or so.

I was also a fairly steady marijuana smoker (just about every day) for about the last 12 years of my life. Due to health problems with my lungs recently I decided to quit smoking and have been clean now for about 6 weeks.

My current medication combo is as follows:

125MG of Divalproex Sodium (Epival / Depakote) in the morning followed by 250MG at night

20MG of Celexa every night

25MG of Seroquel every night

1MG of Clonazepam every night

Anyways... after being unemployed for about a year, during which I had some bouts of chronic asthma and lung infections which required plenty of rest for weeks at a time, I started back on a labour intensive job (setting up and cleaning up a Stadium after Concerts, Hockey Games, etc.)

I lasted two shifts.... First day I worked from 8:00AM till 3:00PM. After which I went home and didn't really notice myself acting funny though the people that I live with claim that I couldn't sit still and that I wouldn't stop talking, jumping from one topic to another so quickly that it was giving them a headache.

I thought I was just hyper...

The next day I worked from 1:00PM till 3:00PM and then from 9:00PM till 1:00AM. This day is still kind of a blur to me.

The next day after I woke up (a day which I didn't have to work) I remember feeling exceptionally good all day... like I was tripping out on Extacy or something. I just felt very VERY happy all that day. It was the day after my Birthday so I called up every family member that called me the day before while I was at work and wound up talking to distant relatives for about an hour or so on end. That is definitely not normal behaviour for me lol....

The following day, however, I could barely drag myself out of bed in the morning... my body was tied up in knots just about all day, my stomach was upset and I had stomach cramps just about all day accompanied by diarehha and I really couldn't concentrate on anything. I'm an avid reader and usually go through a few books a week but that day it was a chore to even hold my attention for one page.

Since then I've been sleeping between 10-12 hours a night and am just starting to finally feel like myself again (3 days after the crash).

So I don't know... not really sure what to think. Could it be just that my body's chemistry is still acting up a bit after withdrawing from marijuana after smoking pretty heavy for 12 years?

Could it be simply from having to adapt to some sort of structure again in my life when I've been just a lazy bum for the last year (and that is the honest truth... I need to put some sort of structure around my days again regardless)

Or is something going screwy with my medication which needs to be attended to?

Anyways, I'm confused so any thoughts or opinions would really be appreciated. I see my MD on Thursday for a follow-up on my asthma and I'm thinking about bringing this up with him. I really wish I still had a Therapist though so I could just run this by her/him to get their advice.

Hell, I'm looking for just some advice period. Mostly everybody that I associate with on an every day basis doesn't understand anything about personality disorders.

The ones that believe now that they exist believe that if you pretend to make them go away they will just vanish "Just stop thinking about thinking about them and they'll go away" and the others simply don't believe in them... "You're making it up, stop being lazy"...

Not even sure how to go about finding a decent Therapist here in this city anymore. My last one I had off and on for most of my life.

So any thoughts, opinions, whatever will be greatly appreciated.




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poster:Mike081078 thread:542006