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Re: My suicidal ideation Ilene cubbybear

Posted by Ilene on February 26, 2004, at 9:29:05

In reply to Re: My suicidal ideation Ilene, posted by cubbybear on February 25, 2004, at 23:56:24

> First thing is that you shouldn't think that any doctor can "cure" your depression. They just help you with insights, analysis, coping, suggesting, meds, etc. I've read that chronic depression is not and can not be permanent cured, as you would can cure a cold or finger infection. Depression is an illness, but the best we can do is ascertain the appropriate meds for each person, so the illness will go into remission, hopefully for the long term.
> From what I read in your posts, you are very much functional--badly depressed but still functional--so you should remain at home where you have important diversions, such as taking care of your son. Besides, my pdoc has emphasized that being surrounded by sick people in a hospital is depressing in itself and can actually delay the road to recovery.
>

You're right, depression can't be cured. That frightens me very much. I can't do much for myself until I get the leg up from meds, and they haven't been working. I'm too sick to work and I have no social life. If I felt better I would volunteer or take a class in order to meet people. My pdoc and I think I need 3 or 4 weeks of improved mood in order to commit to something like that.

I go to yoga once or twice a week--there's a studio about 2 blocks from here. I try to get out of the house, even just to go to the post office, every day.

Considering the amount of time I have on my hands, I'm less functional than you think. I don't do too much with my son because much of the time I can't maintain a conversation. I manage to get food on the table most nights and do the laundry before we run out of socks or underwear. Sometimes that's all.

My pdoc/therapist called this morning. She's very concerned about me. She might want to contact my husband. She wants to see me tomorrow. I'm grateful for her concern, but I'm still suffering.


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