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Re: Lynne Journeyman

Posted by LynneDa on February 25, 2004, at 8:58:59

In reply to Lynne, posted by Journeyman on February 20, 2004, at 22:31:56

Journeyman -
Thank you so much for your encouraging and, almost more importantly, understanding reply. The quotes are wonderful, I am a quote person. This message was a keeper!

When I met my new husband a few years ago, the thing that sealed the deal was the way in which he is able to love me pretty unconditionally and allows me to be myself - which sort of freaked me out, literally. To have that freedom and not know who to be because no one is requiring you to be anything? Whoa! It was a case of "be careful what you ask for" because I did get it, for the most part. I'm still struggling with how to relax and just be myself without second guessing or acting a role. It is getting easier, but what a ridiculous thing to have to unlearn :-).

My sincere thanks and appreciation for all your compassion and clarity! I wish you continued peace and the ability to be your true self!
~ Lynne

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Lynne,
>
> I understand very well what you mean about the perfectionist/pleasing streak. My whole life, until very, very recently, I have labored to find my identity. Unfortunately, I looked for it in other people; that's to say, if they liked me or approved, then I was okay, and if they didn't, then there was something wrong with me and I had to adjust/change.
>
> What an awful way to live. And how ironic that the more I tried to be something that other people wanted, the less I was myself. I was disappearing.
>
> My new definition of being perfect is someone who fully accepts that they're not. And when they don't, they let that be okay too.
>
> Came across a couple of good quotes today related to this and the last e-mail:
>
> Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them. -- Brendan Francis
>
> Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy and strength, if faced with an open mind. Every moment is a golden one for him [or her] who has the vision to recognize it as such. -- Henry Miller
>
> Accept everything about yourself - I mean everything, You are you and that is the beginning and the end - no apologies, no regrets. -- Clark Moustakas
>
> Happiness can exist only in acceptance. -- Denis De Rougamont
>
>
> May self-contentment be yours, as your embrace your scars, bruises, and foibles - as well as your beauty that's so evident here on the board.
>
> Journeyman


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poster:LynneDa thread:109458
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040223/msgs/317467.html