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Re: A glass of dopamine katia

Posted by BarbaraCat on September 3, 2003, at 11:38:15

In reply to Re: A glass of dopamine BarbaraCat, posted by katia on September 3, 2003, at 0:24:53

> I actually was taking L-tyrosine along with the periodic 5-HTP And when I was taking it, I fell into a suicidal depression;

**I also felt horrible on 5-HTP, which surprised me because it's a serotonin precursor and gee, isn't serotonin implicated as the big player in depression?. My naturopath said she used to prescribe it for depression all the time until some new research that says it can exacerbate it very badly. Some things I've read recently say that depression isn't a serotonin deficiency at all but rather a serotonin excess, which blew my mind but it makes sense. Serotonin and dopamine balance each other. When serotonin is up, dopamine levels are down, and some new evidence says that it's actually the lack of dopamine and it's cohort norepinephrine that cause the anhedonia, the lack of energy and motivation, all the crap associated with depression. Serotonin is the 'Freeze' of the fight/flight/freeze reaction. We can't really fight or flight anymore in this society so we freeze and all the deadening sludge that goes with it. It's probably alot more complicated than just an overload of serotonin, and one (like me) never knows if too much of anything activating is going to spin me into an anxiety state which is worse than depression. But I too had a bad effect from 5-HTP. Not so much from L-tryptophan, but still, not good. On the other hand, the few recent days on L-tyrosine at least haven't made me feel worse.

> I just had another thought re: feeling too good to stay there. (oh, btw, I meant that not good enough for good - what I meant by that is maybe some self-destructive demonish part of me doesn't allow me to be happy - so I reach for the chardonnay?) Maybe content is SCARY because it might be BORING.

**I hear you loud and clear and I think the same. Being manic is such a rush, so wild and unique. There's no one else with the same brand of insanity as ourselves and the dull trudge of the masses seems so dull. What comes to mind is the difference between being out of control drunk and the clear peace of simple joy. I can have a total blast when I'm out partying but the next few days I wish to God I hadn't indulged so heartily and after a few nights of partying I'm ready to say goodbye cruel world. On the contrary, getting and staying clear in my head and body just keeps feeling and getting better. That is, when I've managed to clean myself out long enough to start noticing sweet little quiet joys again. Ain't been that way for far too long. I look at the many (most) nights I've had quite a few of those buttery chardonnays. I am taking a good hard look at how just maybe those 2-3 (hell, whose counting?) glasses of lovely chilled golden nectar sliding down my throat might perhaps be keeping me in hell. But, oh, those lovely colorful drinks with little umbrellas on a sunset Hawaiian beach certainly do seem like Heaven at the time...

I thank you for the Rational Recovery reminder. I'm on my way out the door to buy Trimpey's book "Rational Recovery: The New Cure for Substance Addiction". I've already gone through the website, and the 'quickie' big plan but the book seems to go more into The Beast concept which intrigues me to no end. I really appreciate it's self-empowerment concept alot and understand why I've never jibed with AA.

Your reference to the 'demonish self-destructive voice' is explained very clearly and recognizably as The Beast in AVRT (Rational Recovery) parlance.

I'm ready, I tell ya. I'm ready to do all I can to give my brain chemistry a break and a leg up against this horror called depression, bipolar, whatever the hell it is, and I've got to admit that drinking sure helps in the short run but is doing me no favors in the long run. Maybe abstinence won't be the entire answer but indulgence is very assuredly a very huge hindrance. Gotta run and get the book! - Barbara




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