Psycho-Babble Medication | about biological treatments | Framed
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Prozac just like other SSRI's..ohh

Posted by jay on July 7, 2003, at 0:01:23

Oh man...I hate this. I had an initial 'robust' response with Prozac, now it feels like someone put a heavy wet blanket on my soul...I can feel the strain and aches in my body.....and I am on the verge of tears. Never mind my libido is like in the high negative numbers, and again the same old suicidal thoughts...dark thoughts...but I don't want to hurt anyone I love by hurting myself......and that really is the main reason I can't go through with it. It's like the Effexor, but minus some of the 'buzzy' anxiety. Same kind of feelings also that I had on Celexa, Luvox, Zoloft, and Paxil. I have this 'look' on my Ma say's it's the look " you lost your best friend." It's been like that for over a decade now.

Well, I know I gotta take a Zyprexa dose tonight, because it is one of the few that truly reduces the SI type thoughts. Also..I am seeing some bad signs in my Dad, who is on Doxepin and Bromazepam. He takes a Risperdal once in awhile for extreme anger and paranoia. Last night he got so drunk, he fell and almost passed out. This is something he does about 3 times a month. He is 67 years old...and I sure as heck am not going to suggest AA to him. He doesn't have the time...and I often feel like my Dad...I just want to get so drunk, so pi**ed out of my mind..forget everything..forget the world. I feel so sorry for my Dad too because I can't be the son who is 'cured'...or 'really well' like he wants me to be. He understands, but I know deep inside he wants to see the old 'happy lad' I used to be.

I go to the Mood Disorders Clinic for a clinical evaluation on July 31'st..but until then I know my doctor will help me any way he can. Maybe I need a small dose of a typical antipsychotic with Zyprexa. I dunno.

I'll try to post more when I feel a bit better. Thanks...





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