Psycho-Babble Medication | about biological treatments | Framed
This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | List of forums | Search | FAQ

RANT. This is NOT fair. I hate it !!!!

Posted by Else on July 25, 2001, at 22:14:53

Ok. I've been wanting to obtain Parnate for over a year now, to no avail. Changing pdoc is very complicated in the True North Strong and Free so I am stuck with the pdoc I have (Whom I like BTW). SSRIs do not work for me, they make me feel worse. I have GAD, SP and atypical depression or atypical dysthymia, it doesn't matter anyway, I just feel bad 95% of the time. Not horrible, but bad and I hate it. Now, there is this possibility that stimulants or MAOIs could help me but I can't get them because my doctor doesn't believe I'm responsible enough too avoid cheese. He's protecting his own ass I know but is this fair to me? Do I have to feel crappy just so he can avoid getting sued (which he wont be).

I'm not suicidal, I behave, I'm in a job-finding program, I take my meds as prescribed (even "addictive" ones like Rivotril), I haven't done drugs in 6 months and don't intend to so why is he torturing me?

I read that Eldepryl produces "remission with DELIGHT", "something SSRIs rarely do". I WANT delight. I FELT delight on Parnate, I want it back. I am so sick of feeling like I'm a bad (sinful)person for wanting to feel delightful. When I ask for potentially addictive or just plain pleasant drugs, it's always with a pathetic lack of confidence and I don't get them.

What is so wrong with feeling good? I've felt crappy all my miserable life. Why do I have to take all these s----y drugs that make me feel awful when I know for a fact MAOIS work better. Is this catholic guilt? I am not catholic but was raised catholic and so was everyone here including doctors. Most of those that have gone to med school in the fifties and sixties had priests as professors. They're scientists but they have this catholic way of thinking too ( blessed are the meek (miserable) for they shall inherit the earth and all that BS (except them of course, who are the strong and already have it)). I read Nietzsche's Genealogy of morals and all and think he is so very right about our moral paradigm being a human invention but why can't this stupid guilt leave my head. Why can't I ask for Valium or Dexedrine or Parnate without feeling like I'm confessing to being a zoophile. Why??? I am so sick of society's attitude, I am sick of my own attitude. I read posts about people just plainly saying "Should I switch to Dexedrine?" like that was the simplest thing in the world. I would feel shameful asking for this however stupid that might sound. And I would be convinced my pdoc would see me as a drug-seeking piece of human gargbage (I once heard a radio shrink here say that drug addicts were no longer human beings but mere garbage. This was a psychiatrist, MD and all).

I hate this. And so what if I was a drug-seeker. Drug-seekers seek drugs because they feel bad. What is wrong with wanting to feel good? I'm not looking for answers here, I just want to complain. The system sucks.




Post a new follow-up

Your message only Include above post

Notify the administrators

They will then review this post with the posting guidelines in mind.

To contact them about something other than this post, please use this form instead.


Start a new thread

Google www
Search options and examples
[amazon] for

This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | FAQ
Psycho-Babble Medication | Framed

poster:Else thread:71846