Psycho-Babble Social Thread 1112059

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Re: exponential population growth

Posted by alexandra_k on September 19, 2020, at 20:17:02

In reply to Re: exponential population growth, posted by alexandra_k on September 19, 2020, at 19:59:35

I guess I don't understand what she plans to do with it.

Actually, yes, I do.

It's quite the rage, at the moment, in NZ, for 'retirement villages' to basically promise you a lovely lifestyle with all the things you value... In exchange for everything you have.

So... If you have however much in savings then you can give it to the retirement village in exhange for a good quality of life for the rest of your days.

Or...

Mother's preferred child is my sister X.

My sister X could inherit, I suppose, in an exhange for looking after Mother for the rest of her days.

The trouble is that X doesn't want to look after Mother any more than the rest of us want to. Mother... Would pay you so she could abuse you because she likes to abuse you. That's the kind of a set-up that Mother wants...

She doesn't back off when people need her to. She pushes, and pushes, and pushes, and pushes... She needs a lot of energy and attention from the people around her to babysit her, basically, and explain things to her all the time. And she refuses to listen. She makes really really bad decisions. And you are supposed to let her make them and let her come around in her own time. She's always going on and on about how she does something because (someone else) suggested it and it's best thing ever why didn't someone tell her years ago? And you have been telling her for years. And she didn't listen. And she doesn't listen. She enjoys people being upset and angry... She loves inducing vile emotions. She likes setting people against each other. Sowing dissent. Creating confusion. She likes the drama of it. She's not very pleasant to be around.

You phone her and she wants to tell you everything she's DONE and everything that's HAPPENED. There's no meaningful connection. There's a tirade of what she's DONE and everything that's HAPPENED. Particularly with a narrative of what her neighbours are up to and a chastisement of how they never open their curtains for the windows that she can see in -- because she likes to spend a lot of time sitting in her conservatory trying to see into their windows for higher quality narrative of what the neighbours are up to.

Hmm... I wonder why X doesn't relish the thought of having Mother living in a unit or something attached to her house. Mother would be scrutinising every single thing that cost money. She would be doing a narrative of all the things X spent money on. All the things that money was spent on. Condemning. Chastising.

Not realising that the reason why she would want to live with X is because... X has more money than the rest of us. MOre incoming. Gets to spend more outgoing. The reason why it's comfortable staying with X is because X spent money on things like decent beds. Quality chattels. The air quality. The comfort. The niceness of it all... Is because she'd generous of heart and spirit... That warmth... The things that you can choose to foster and invest in with money... But Mother will criticise it and it will wither and die and dry up and she'll be victorious!

It's a horrible thing.... That you really need to limit time spent with my Mother.

You have to draw firm boundaries around 'no -- these are not issues I'm going to talk with you about' when she gets into some moods... 2 year old toddler tantrum kinds of things. SOmetimes you can tell when you are talking to her that she's picking for a fight or something.

Limit time spent.

She can also be surprisingly great. Depends on things.. What else is going on in her life, I suppose.

_________________________

I don't suppose that I will want to come back and practice, here.

It might be possible to come back and practice, here, but I'd need to be qualitied etc. With a salariy agreed in advance. And with infrastructure compoonents also agreed upon. Things like the buildings and the computer support and so on. And it be eithe rit works... Or you leave.

People from here basically see me as someone with no bargaining power. And (worse) they see themselves as justified or entitlted to exploit a person in that position for everything they can get.

Which means that down the track...

Altruism / beneficience is not something appropriately displayed when it comes to NZ government or ministries or companies or anything. These thigs are expploited and extinguished. People with these qualities are taken advantage of and... Murdered. Extinguished. The attempt to drive it into extinction.

They are not qualities that can flourish here.

Co-operation doesn't get up off the ground here.

I don't imagine I'd be required to return.

Visit, sure. So you can see how things are developing.
2 years, sure. So you hav etime to see how things are developing. To really investigate and look into things. Not how they are advertised.
To try and hunt out the lower-key pockets of genuine opportunity.

But there is no working your way up. Because we have large institutions and they make superficial judgements and they are very very very very very very corrupt. They refuse to do any of the things they are supposed to do. They only forward people who will work within the current corrupt system.

So...

Time to get out.

 

Re: exponential population growth

Posted by alexandra_k on September 19, 2020, at 20:57:02

In reply to Re: exponential population growth, posted by alexandra_k on September 19, 2020, at 20:17:02

I feel ambivalent about my sister.
Sometimes (most-times) I see her as a person who is genuinely warm and kind and compassionate with generosity of spirit.
Othertimes I catch glimpses of... Greed... And of exploitation. Of exploitation of others to meet that.
Not so much in her own interactions... She has worked hard...
She left school early and managed to get an entry level job typing at a law firm.
She's worked for law firms ever since in various secretarial capacities.
She has worked for really top firms.
I think maybe part of what they like is that she's a reliable worker and she doesn't appear to have much in the way of personal ambition...
I mean... She could have pushed for support or time off so she could go to law school herself...
But she didn't. She did her job. Quite well, by all accounts.
So... Years and years and years and years later she has had various pay increases over the years (and lots of extra gifts apparently from 'clients' of game tickets and so on and lunches and dinners and so on...) Office parties.. Working in nice offices... A nice job. A good job.

But her kids... Seem nice...
They had inheritance. A pay-out from the health system for wrongful death of mis-diagnosed cancer in father...
So they invested in property...
So the kids make their living off of tenants.
And there's the odd thing... About the kids sort of making their living off of their tenants... The tenants pay them rent and the kids eat from the rent payments from the tenants.
It's an exploitative system where the landlords are 'elite' and the 'friendships' of the 'flatmates' are exploitative and filled with resentments... An oppressive undertone... People living in superficially (only) nice houses... People living in supposedly wealthy areas... Masses of them huddling together in cold and dark regions of houses...
Million dollar mansion type houses with a superficially nice facade...
And the owners taking the best room... Maybe even the best section of the house. If there's multiple bathrooms or whatever. Maybe taking a living room and a bathroom and the kitchen... Whatever... THen renting out rooms only and the mortage payments (or the living expenses of the landlords) are supplied by the tenants. The tenants who are not really protected by tenancy laws...
The 'landlords' who can barge in on the tenants whenever they want...
Who set the laws or evict them...
It's not a very nice or pleasant thing....
But people are making their fortunes...

And I see aspects of greed... She's struggled with her weight... Overeating...
But I guess I just mean to say I see it... It's potential... It's damage.. It's harm.. As a vice. As a sin.

I understand it's a reaction. Reaction formation. A response to my mother. When things go well my sister exemplifies graciousness and generosity of spirit. There is a genuine beneficience or altruism there. I remind myself to really notice that. Apparecitate that. Take care not to exploit it or take advantage of it. Because that's not the kind of person that I want to be...

But I worry about the elements of exploitation and greed...
Making money driving things around in trucks... The ever increasing more financial profits and more financial profits and more financial profits and thinking about how many corners you are willing to cut...
And I know and understand that it's a struggle because of growing up with nothing.
But the concerns about reaction formation to... Opposing vice...

And it frightens me.

I need good role models to emulate. I don't see them, here.

There is some stuff on Khan Academy.

I am afraid.

But it's stuff I learned on Khan Academy.

For free. Or for a donation of $10 per month... Learning about the indentured servants in Washington... ANd being afraid that going to school in the US will be indentured servatude. Perhaps you shouldn't tell them how much money you have incase they choose to burn through you. But then you should invest something in yoru own schooling? BUt then you should have been allowed a paper route and at least some of that should have been saved for college. ANd you shuld have been given jobs. Teaching at University. But jobs aren't publically advertised and they only hire people who PREVENT timely completion of research.

I don't know what's fair.

I guess you just have to go... Of all the things there are in the world...

Where looks like there is genuine growth? Pockets of the world where things are nice and pleasant. Quality output. Genuine art. People who seem to be happy. There are things slaves won't produce. Australasia is seriously deficient precisely because of that.

 

Re: exponential population growth

Posted by alexandra_k on September 19, 2020, at 21:10:56

In reply to Re: exponential population growth, posted by alexandra_k on September 19, 2020, at 20:57:02

And I am scared... Because what do I know about the college, really?

I know that with respect to what they SAY everything is on point.

I cannot fault it. And there are things I would not have thought to say and they said them -- so I can learn from them. They are developed or grown in good ways.

But how about what it's really like there, really, for reals?

That's the kind of thing you need to experience for yourself...

I remember Salmond College and how the people were about the food. I think it's in part because teenagers taste buds are still developing. Anyway... I couldn't believe how much money people would spend on take-away pizza and the like when there was high quality food available from their meal plan with the college. I mean, sometimes it was hard to find healthy stuff in a particular meal -- but given the amount of food that was available you could have collected up a couple pieces of fruit and you could always make do. You would never go hungry for healthy food. So people complaining... And spending money on take-aways... Was something where I empathised most with the staff rather than the students. Maybe because of my age. Like... Dr Kelso was happy enough with the hospital cafateria food... The younger you are the more complain-y you are. Not appreciating the value (or expense that goes into or effort and time and number of hard working people involved in the production of) something that is really high quality. Actually. And yet people complain...

So... From my memory of the food selection that was available to UNC Chapel Hill studnets from meal plan... I wouldn't have complaints. I mean... I chose to buy it mostly -- not realising that studnets were getting it from meal plan. As someone who didn't know... I thought the stuff available from main street (pay out of pocket) was comparable to the stuff availabel from campus (meal plan or pay out of pocket without meal plan). So it was just about... Illusion of choice or something. Advertising. I don't know.

___________________
___________________

I'm not sure on Research Output.. Publications. I guess you look into individual staff.

Here... We try and hide / obscure individual staff. That's because we want things to get to the point where Universities don't hire teachign (or researching) staff. The University offers a course and who teaches it is irrelevant (we don't need to pay them then). They advertise small classes... With professors... They say teh name of the professor. So... Look into it more... But it looks pretty good.

Compared to how things used to be here.

And compared to how much things have deteriorated here.

Things seem to have gotten worse, here. De-evolved.

In much of the world... Hard to say. You get older... Rose tinted specticles come off.

Most first years don't know the difference between honors level tutor and professor. I do know the difference, so...

_____________________

I don't think it's fair that NZ forces people to leave as refugees.

These people who earn in excess of 100,000 per year and who do not do their job...

It would cost 100,000 per year to keep them in prison for hteir crimes against humanity, apparently.

We could hire someone competent and still have change.

 

Re: keeping people

Posted by alexandra_k on September 19, 2020, at 21:47:52

In reply to Re: exponential population growth, posted by alexandra_k on September 19, 2020, at 21:10:56

I remember from ER...

How Carter was supposed to go to family fundraisers.
His grandmother was involved in charity work.
Finding things to invest the family wealth in.
That was supposed to be his job -- but he didn't want to do it. He wanted to go to Medical School.

But so that's the thing about being rich.
It's a full time job.
Managing the wealth.
Figuring out what to do with the money.
Where to put it. Who to give it to.
What are they going to do with it?
How's that going? Do you still support what they are doing with it?

And so on...

I'm glad that I don't have to do that.
I'm glad that other people are good at things like that.
I don't know that anybody in NZ is good at anything like that.
I see a constant succession of companies who are dreaming when they say what the likely return is...
There is something about that...
The finance companies. Irresponsible borrowing.
The really really high interest rates charged on loans where it's likely the people approved to borrow simply cannot pay back the loan.
Using the money invested for irresponsible lending.

Like... Giving your money to Westpac (New Zealand) so they can give really high interest loans to dementia patients (you would have to have dementia to think that interest rate was fair)... Where they cannot meet the payments...

Or... What will you invest in, then? Where will you put the money?

Or maybe... Maybe doing that isn't your thing (it isn't).
In which case... You will be limited in the amount of money that anybody can responsibly give you.
Sure. I understand that.
Don't give me a billion dollars. What on earth would I do with it??
I understand that.

You start with the basics. Housing.

I worry about housing.

I worry that first years are supposed to share a room with one other and a bathroom with 4 or 6 or 8 others or something like that...

I understand the reasons for doing that with first years.

Sharing with one other significantly or considerably decreases the liklihood of rape on campus and of sexual abuse (people making their way into another's room and then taking advantage of the situation). It makes bedrooms partly public spaces which actually works to protect the (especially female but also male) residents for the most part. I get it. I do. There are also issues potentially around studnents not knowing how / being able to clean up after themselves. Their bedooms. Their bathrooms. It eliminates problems from first year but it lets the college note which studnets are prolematic for the future... It helps studnets select into shared accommodation in later years (where was something about how studnets can apply to single rooms or shared apartments in later years so seems studnets can decide how they want to live in later years)...

So it sounded ideal. Actually. Suck it up a bit for one year. Then you do get to state your preference. So... Yeah... So...

Or maybe I'll get to live in my own room because they don't want to get Covid from me...

I know I'm not supposed to put this much thought into it. But this is me...

I guess I'm asking for 8 years.. I guess I'm asking to spend the rest of my life working towards something in a system...

I'm really thinking about whether it's something I want to do.

My mother would say I should settle here. You see. I could live more cheaply. I could live off of op shop Hamilton clothes. $2 for this and that. Just wear clothes that are the best of the selection in the $2 bin and the like. Just do that. Don't need a car or a motorcycle. Mother doesn't. Save money that way. Don't need to go out. Don't need to buy things. Just find the cheapest things and buy the cheapest things because they are the cheapest things. Don't need holiday. Just don't spend money. Live like there is no money and hoard all the money... Surround yourself as much as possible by people with less money so you feel rich.

Move out to some suburb of a cheap location and just stay home all day.

Dno't have anything to do with people who spend money.

Right.

_____________

I don't wnat to live, like that.
_____________

THen move in with people with money and free-ride off of them. The government employeee people who get paid a lot for their exploitating others. You gotta beat them at their own game and get better at negotiating with them. Agree to eat with them 5 meals a week in exchange for a room in their house... Negotiate things... Then when you spend time with them they choose the activity and duration and you just make noises to make them feel good about tehmself and in exchange you have a roof over your head and food and figure things out like that.

You don't have to have sex and be wife, exactly. Or raise kids. People want other kinds of relationships.

_______________
I don't want to live, like that.
_______________

Then use the money you have as leverage for other people doing things you want them to do
_______________

What do I want people to do?

________________

Co-operative activity.

The job for which they are paid.

Process the application.

Properly.

According to the laws. That are supposed to govern how you process applications. Do your job.

Properly.

They don't process the application.
They don't process the enrolment.
They don't process the thing that is to be graded to grade it by internatioal standards.
They don't do any of the things.

You are required to string together their power-points only.
You are required to get them to tell you what to write and you write that down only.
Or you are required to huddle with a group (kids of doctors or senior officials) and mimic them so as to be indistinguishable so as not to be singled out for being failed out.

There is no meritocracy...

____________________

Apparently there is lots of group work.
I'm not keen on group work.

But being productive...

Involves letting others contribute to typos and incomplete sentances and the like. Because you need to put your work away and incubate before these things have visual pop out salience. But if you swap with someone else their mistakes pop out without an incubation period. So by collaborating you can produce higher quality work faster.

So... It is important to do group work. It is important to learn your role in the group. Maybe I'm really good at those kinds of editing things. Or maybe most people are as good. Maybe my strength is something I don't know yet becuase I haven't done much group work. Maybe some kids I work really especially well with. Or maybe which kids in particular doesn't matter so much.

I could learn a lot about group work. Working in mutually beneficial groups. For the production of really great pieces that involve expertise of different people working together.

I'm super excited about that.

The way we do things here is you get your work done (the bits you can do really really well) and someone goes 'noooooooooooo rubbish rubbish I don't like it take this out and replace it with that and take this out and replace it with that. And it doesn't go to examiners until I've re-writen it for you. And then it goes out late. And then examiners fail you because they think I'm sh*t. Yay. Let's do research in NZ!!!'

aka: Research. Not done. In NZ...

 

Re: keeping people

Posted by alexandra_k on September 19, 2020, at 22:02:22

In reply to Re: keeping people, posted by alexandra_k on September 19, 2020, at 21:47:52

I guess...
Looking at the Science Bachelor, Biology...

2 Calculus.
2 Physics.
2 Physical Chemistry.
Statistics.
Organic Chemisry.

Or maybe I'm getting confuzzled with pre-medical requirements...

I don't know how group work goes... I mean, I don't know if some of those bigger classes require group work or what...

I'd imagine you learn enough about the things so you are properly versed in why division of labor is a good thing later.

That was something I struggled with. How everybody was supposed to do their own Statistics for research in NZ -- but hardly anybody had high level training in Statistics.

I mean to say that the methodology... Particularly when you are dealing with the tiny little sample sizes we have (since it would be morally problematic to do that research in any other nation).. Uh... You really wondered about teh value of the study, honestly. Which, uh, is why they chose to fund that one! Doh!!

Anyway... Back to division of labor... Knowing enough about the tests that are supposed to be run.... SO you can look at ALL the relevant data. Not cherry pick the data in ways that make the study an attempt to hoodwink or swindle or waste time or con rather than a genuine contribution to knowledge and development.

Enough to tell the quality from the... People wanting hand-outs. Yeah.

So you can develop high quality research proposals for quality ideas. For good bets. In a responsible way.

To meet people whose job it is to administer funds and invest in high quality ideas. Responsibly. Things you want to see more of. Things it would be good to see more of.

And to try and come up with things worth investing in.

To try really reallyr eally really really really really really hard fo rpeople who chose to invest in you... So that you would do that.

Try.

At least it's getting WITH a project.

I mean.... It's University Housing. At the end of the day. Likely all the way up. In some Harry Potter room of requirement kind of a way.

Is a deer free if it's kept in an enclosure just larger than the size it normally or naturlaly roams?? So it never hits the walls.. ANd the predators are kept out and away. So it can live a 'natural' or 'normal' or productive life withotu predation.

That's the reality.

The bubble world.

Trying to see how to scale up... Trying to figure... A safe place where genuine work can be done...

With people working to protect that which is working to develop... Getting better at that, as well...

Managing admissions...

I wonder how much of a shake-up there is right now.

I wonder if my application will be consdiered at all, really.

Things seem to have imploded.

Momentarily.

Calculus...

Two points moving towards each other... Slower and slower... The numbers... After the decimal places getting longer and longer and longer. Closer and closer longer and longer. Never touching. Falling.. Falling... Falling and slowing to infinity.

It's terrifying.

The space ripping open.

Does calculus get... Uh. MOre comforting?

Maybe I'm supposed to take comfort in the idea of getting closer withotu impact. I don' tknow.

 

Re: what's novel

Posted by alexandra_k on September 19, 2020, at 22:19:49

In reply to Re: keeping people, posted by alexandra_k on September 19, 2020, at 22:02:22

What's novel is age.

This idea of education as being tied to age.

This idea of being... Can I remember...

Freshman.
Sophomore.
Junior
Senior.

Freshman is 18 years old? First Year out of High School.

But it's confounded by transfer students. But transfer students apply for entrance as Sophomores or Juniors on the basis of credit from 3 year Community Colleges -- right??

Can you apply as a First Year Freshman when you aren't straight out of High School?

If you have a Degree from a country like NZ who refuses to acknowledge it's own Degrees after 5 years (or who refuses to acknowledge Degrees have been completed when requirements have been met) then does the applicant have to apply as a transfer applicant?

I guess we see...

What they choose to do...

One thing they said that I did not know. That I did not think of. That gives me good ideas... That was itself a good idea.

War veterans.

War veterans are considered a group for diversity inclusion.

You have young men (and young women) who chose (instead of going off to College) to serve their country because they believed that was a good thing for them to do for various reasons. Later in life... Honorably discharged for various reasons. Now maybe wanting to enter College as Freshmen.

Why not?

I guess they decide.

I was thinking it's super weird creepy and borderline inappropriate my going to College in the US in a system whereby the First Years are part of a dorm sharing cohort... You see these B grade American College Movies and there's always 'creepy guy' of the 40 year old attending frat parties trying to get with the 18 year old girls... I'm female so the 'creep' factor is reduced and I'm not there to meet girls or guys... But still...

But that's a way of having a cohort of older people. Insofar as there is room-sharing that is required to go on as part of the normal or usual or standard thing (without `special accommodations' -- so people can sort out their shared housing options etc for later years which, I understand, would be a good thing to do...

I guess they decide.

They are allowed. Because they are private (not public). And because as a private place that doesn't rely on a succession of public (government) hand-outs they actually lead the way in equity and so on... Actually... Genuinely... Because they actually have a handle on investment... And growing investment... Because they actually have better ability than anyone else to consider costs-benefits..

I wonder how much it may depend on match. In terms of their ability to get a cohort. Something like or approximating one. That depends on other applicants. Etc.

I don't know.

I have more faith in them using their reasoning and evidnece and discretion than anything else I've seen...

Sigh.

What to write in the essay...

 

Re: what's novel

Posted by alexandra_k on September 19, 2020, at 22:27:18

In reply to Re: what's novel, posted by alexandra_k on September 19, 2020, at 22:19:49

Hmm... I wonder what happens in the US with respect to College Education.
I mean the Military has Doctors and Lawyers and Engineers...
There are Military Colleges... West Point...

But I thought there were Military people actually in ordinary or regular Colleges as well... But perhaps that was keeping the cohort age-appropriate...

People apply to Medical School later, though... I remember seeing a case on the news of this 40 year old Avocado Farmer or something like that who made money growing avocado's and who sold the farm and got into Med in Ohio or somewhere and then matched to Plastics somewhere in California (much to the obvious jealousy and disgust of other people in his cohort of graduating studnets)...

But that's diversity of age of graduate entrants to Medicine... I don't know his story on meeting the pre-medical requirements...

I remember reading something about Harvard offering Organic Chemistry Pre-Medical Requirement as a Summer School option... Some adult student writing abuot doing that... So, again...

I guess I apply and we will see.

I guess we will see how many applicants there are, this year.

THey normally get 1,500 or something for the 8 year programme.

Really? That's what NZ normally gets for Medicine, I think..

Seriously...

The Ivy League Institutions in the USA only get around the same number of applicants as NZ Universities do?

I guess people don't apply to the Ivy League without the GPA and test scores that they are advised to have to apply with...

So... This year...

I wonder how many applicants they will have from around the world...

I wonder...

Blip...

Closer and closer...

 

Re: I wrote to them.

Posted by alexandra_k on September 19, 2020, at 22:39:26

In reply to Re: what's novel, posted by alexandra_k on September 19, 2020, at 22:27:18

I wrote to the people who administer the Step Examinations.
I asked them very nicely if they might consider allowing me to (pay for and take) the Step Examinations without having been enrolled in a Medical School for the reason that NZ Medical Schools were refusing to process my application to Medical Schools likely because they were concerned that my Step Scores would exceed those of their chosen candidates (the children of doctors and senior officials).

I said I thought I could probably do better than the NZ students who were enrolled in Med School because I had time to study for the examination but they would have to spend a lot of time learning not to pat Maaori kids on the head because it was culturally inappropriate (nobody actually likes being patted on the head -- do they??).

I wrote in my thesis about this idea of a hierarchy... And in the Step 1 exam book that was how it was laid out. Your score in Step 1 was supposed to determine what specialities you could apply to match to. So you needed really high score for dermatology and lower scores for obgyn or pediatrics.

There was some stuff published about how people choose derm only because they have the scores for it so think they should... Then years later regret not having pursued what they were passionate about (e.g., internal). And about people matching to peds not because they love children but because they feel forced because they didn't get the scores they wanted for what they actually were passionate about.

Also.. Concern that people at the top schools were too focused on studying for highest possible examination scores so they weren't getting to have a good college experience learning things like physical exams in small group contexts or the history of discovery of vitamins or learning so many of the great things that could be learned in their wonderful curriculum...

So anyway... Short of it is that it is now pass-fail.

They have... Sigh................. Breathe iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin... Pause. Breathe out... Let's take a step back. Let's stop micro-managing for a minute and let's take a step back and observe...

Let's observe...

Let's try and get people to take a breath and reeeeeeeeeeeelax... ANd instead of speaking from what they believe they *should* do (with respect to playing a game and beating the system and aiming high and settling for what you get)... What do people *actually and genuinely want*. Also: *why*.

To try and genuinely maximise a good fit. A good match. For mutual development. Good investment good return.

What speciality or location or whatever... Tell us 4 or 5 things that you want (and why so we get a handle on what you value and whether you are a coherant individual with a genuine plan or whether you are computer generated nonsense spouter with no plan)...

And let's see what we can do..

________________

I think...

I hope..

I hope I get something.

I hope I get my first choice.

I hope I get something.

I really really really really hope I get my first choice.

Or my second choice (4 years at my first choice).

But I'll put in other applications for other choices...

But my first choice.. It a really great choice.

ANd there are so many 'requirements' that it would be totally easy for them to flunk me out at any point if I"m not keeping with the programme. Really... So it's not really such a very very very very ver high risk for them.

Which is (I guess) why they are (maybe) going to consdier processing me for the opportunity.

Perhaps.

 

Re: I wrote to them.

Posted by alexandra_k on September 19, 2020, at 23:09:46

In reply to Re: I wrote to them., posted by alexandra_k on September 19, 2020, at 22:39:26

And I guess the fit is important with respect to being feeling (and being) free or not, as well.

NZ doesn't listen to me, at all.

Not in the most basic of basic of basic...

Years and years and years I had to fight because 'I need to live independently' was not allowed.

The government needs to give a fat chunk of money to 'other people' to 'look after' me, you see.

There are those people who see other people as opportunities for them to exploit. Micro-mismanage. Steal their stuff. I need to support a building manager and also a building owner. I don't think the building owner actually owns the building. I think he is just another building manager. I think there is two layers of property management going on. I suspect the building is actually owned by the University. They are trying to get as low-quality tenants as possible. They are trying to get tenants who over-crowd and engage in unlawful activities so they can rent out rooms that won't meet legislation requirements of healthy housing. They will want to collect rent for rooms that aren't meeting legal requirements. We have next to no legal requirements but new laws are rolling out... They are going to increase my rent until I"m forced to leave and they will then rent to people who are forced into prositution or drug sales or other criminal activitities to pay rent on rooms that don't meet the legal standards of habitability. It's our plan for developing backwards. Two property managers want to be fat... Earn their living renting substandard accommodation to force people into prositution (that's why the kids downstairs) and crime...

And a University who owns a great deal of cheap slum accommodation that isn't fit for purpose.

It is what the University's are consdiering, in the US. The studnet accommodation. The shared facilities... The shared rooms...

I undersetand the reasons for it in teh US... But the idea gets perverted as people think they can make many many bucks keeping studnets in slummy slum slums.

Presently most of our hotels / motels are empty. We have quarantine facilitys... But mostly tourism isn't happening... Many homeless were housed in them over the lockdown. We could see that we DO have housing. What we don't have is a humane way of distributing the housing that we do in fact have. People want to get $2,000 or $1,600 rent for a one bedroom apartment that could be a habitable house for someone... I pay $405 for a 1 bedroom apartment in Auckland but they are going to put it up, now, to $455. The only supplied heater takes the chill out of 1 internal concrete wall only. There is no other source of heat. There is no ventillation / extraction in the bathroom or the kitchen. A noise and light maker in the kitchen only that is unflued. It is a very old concrete building that gets down to 6 degrees... 13, 14 indoors during the winter months... It has signs of mold and moisture emerging from under 1 year old new paint from bathroom and kitchen because it won't dry out and I'm not leaving the windows open (too cold) to make a wind tunnel to dry it out...

WIndows are regularly broken downstairs. We are at the end of the road in Auckland notorious for prositution and where teh gay nightclubs etc etc are. I's exactly where you would put a home for teenagers if yo uwanted to put them somewhere as a vulnerable target for those kinds of intentions. People can knock on their windows at night and beg and call to be let in (and they do). They can also break their windows (and they do). QUite oten there is security guard posted downstairs to try and.. What?? Protect the tenants fro teh unwanted intentions / attentions of... Whom, exactly?

Minimum wage security guard hired by whom -- to tell everybody else in teh building that nothing is wrong. There's nothing wrong. There's nothing going on.

New Zealand.

I wouldn't recommend it.

 

Re: Dillworth

Posted by alexandra_k on September 19, 2020, at 23:14:02

In reply to Re: I wrote to them., posted by alexandra_k on September 19, 2020, at 23:09:46

School for 'vulnerable teenage boys'. Presently 6 members of staff are up on charges of sexual abuse and sodomy of boys as young as 7.

Welcome to NZ.

Want to pay us thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars to house your kid in a boarding house and give them a NZ qualification that NZ won't even acknowledge?

I really wouldn't recommend it.

 

Re: Dillworth

Posted by alexandra_k on September 19, 2020, at 23:27:09

In reply to Re: Dillworth, posted by alexandra_k on September 19, 2020, at 23:14:02

And so I'm fairly sure that were I live there's security cameras trained on my door so the odious landlords (and who knows whom else) can get their jollies watching me or livestreaming me for whatever odious purposes they have. Likely cameras inside my house as well. Because -- well because why wouldn't you if you thought you can get away with it?

But then you get sick or injured and other people decide whether to help you or whether to take advantage.

And other people know what kind of a person you are. Whether you would help or whether you would take advantage.

And so what do you think will happen?

People don't think.

Or they think that whether they help or harm doesn't make any difference so may as well take people for everything they can for the short amount of time they have...

Odious people.

Locked out of the developed world.

Keeping slaves and children to abuse. Keeping adults and children to abuse. Keeping them 'mentally disordered' and 'physically disordered'. Sedated on psychiatric medication or cannibus or whatever to keep populations compliant and stupidly doing the stupid things...

NOt developing.

The roads falling apart.
The bridges about to fall down.
The trains about to de-rail.
The buildings sprouting mould from under cheap paintwork.

The superficial things wash off in the rain...

And you see what's underlying. What's lurking.

The reality of the situation.

Tiem to get out.

We know this because it's a time when they market / advertise as when people are being sent back.

It's an exchange.

They say it's the 'brain drain' but it's the opposite.

People coming back because they weren't... They were contributing overseas to... What???

Trying again with the re-distribution...

____________________________-

THe programme in Australia...

The problem was lack of freedom.

When you have people who are internally motivated.
Self-motivated from within.

What you need to do is give them a rein.

It's like horses..

Some of them you have to be on them all the time.. Kicking kicking kicking. Lazy buggers.

Our managers treat everyone like that.

You get a horse that's internally driven...

You can steer... Steer strongly...

But (insofar as there is a shared goal)...

Is there??

The jumpers like to jump clear.
The racers like to come first.

Shared goal.

Production of good outputs.
Beautiful.
Intelligent.
Creative.
Or a little bit of progress towards something worthwhile.
Development of a bit of a technique.
Good work... NOthing to see here. Good to know. We can move along... In better directions...

Australia doesn't have a concept / conception of academic freedom. Giving the people with the capacity enough rein to do the job.

They don't want the job to be done.

NO manufacturing of the primary stuff they are hauling from the ground.
Sell it to foreign for dollars.
Not able to process it for in-house use or to produce high quality refined for international market.
Not producing weightlifting barbells when that's valued. Still on about Sweden. Sweden can't supply the world. Why can't Australia provide for it's people. NO steel? Can't manufacture within Olympic Specifications? Can't??

NZ has steel apparently. Recently. I didn't realise.. Construction. It isn't alimunum beams and struts. It's steel.

THat's the level of devo we are talking.

That is the level of devo. Generally.

Quality. Quality steel and quality concrete. To specifications. Engineering. Doing what you are supposed to do because you don't want the buildings to fall down and mass murder thousands of people.

ffs.

We are not there, yet.

 

Re: Dillworth

Posted by alexandra_k on September 19, 2020, at 23:40:57

In reply to Re: Dillworth, posted by alexandra_k on September 19, 2020, at 23:27:09

You could just spend your life arguing with idiots about garbage...

Apparently there's someone at the moment saying that mammograms can't distinguish between cancerous density and fibrous density so people should get a density reading from the mammogram and get an MRI if they have fibrous patches. This is 'cutting edge helping Medicine develop' advise.

mmm kay... Except that MRI also won't distinguish those things and MRI's are expensive. Know what Pathoma says is the ONLY thing that will distinguish those things? Biopsy sample. Look at the cells under the microscope and see if they are rapidly dividing or not. Or you could keep an eye on a fibrous patch and see if it rapidly grows or not.

They are trying to racialise colon screening. Apparently Maori get earlier onset so having the same age for screening is inherintly racist.

There was a wonderful article writen by a NZ Med school graduate who matched to and was practicing bowel... Surgery?? In the US. He said that the issue was known family history. If someone has a relative with bowel cancer they need to be screened 10 years earlier than when their relatives was discovered. This way we can do away with the 'race' aspect and make it 'family history aspect'. More Maori have in fact relatives who have died of bowel cancer at an early age. Important to screen tehm earlier. But some European etc families do too and important to screen them earlier as well. It's about doing things f*ck*ng properly and it doesn't have to be a squabble about race. We don't need to racialise it.

The issue is that we don't have enough people to do the bowel screening.

We refuse to pay people to do the screens.

He was saying when you book a screen you time budget removal of 3 polyps. You remove the 3 worst and send them to lab. Maybe you got the cancer removing the 3 worst. Maybe you removed benign. It's a way of screening really keeping mortality down.

But of course our 'screening' isn't that kind of biopsy (and 3 worst tumor removal) 'screening'. Our 'screening' is that an unregistered and untrained person 'has a bit of a look'

Yeppers.

 

Re: Dillworth

Posted by alexandra_k on September 19, 2020, at 23:49:52

In reply to Re: Dillworth, posted by alexandra_k on September 19, 2020, at 23:27:09

telling nz to 'be kind' is like telling minnesota to 'be nice'.

minnesota needed to be wrangled into shipping face masks out west so they were affordable for the producers of the food they like to eat when they had preference to ship them overseas to the highest bidder.

(the highest bidder being the corrupted officials of foreign countries).

yeppers.

 

Re: Dillworth

Posted by alexandra_k on September 19, 2020, at 23:50:12

In reply to Re: Dillworth, posted by alexandra_k on September 19, 2020, at 23:49:52

i am cross with the mayo clinic 'chain'

 

Re: Dillworth » alexandra_k

Posted by sigismund on September 20, 2020, at 1:55:47

In reply to Re: Dillworth, posted by alexandra_k on September 19, 2020, at 23:27:09

I have not read all your posts.

I recall reading that post war one-third of the Australian economy was from manufacturing. Now it's around 5%. The balance has since been made up by mining, often coal. This was from the reforms of the time and gave us cheap goods. And it explains the impasse we are in, because they cannot really acknowledge the problem of climate change (and therefore energy policy) without going back on that.

 

Re: Dillworth » sigismund

Posted by alexandra_k on September 20, 2020, at 15:31:14

In reply to Re: Dillworth » alexandra_k, posted by sigismund on September 20, 2020, at 1:55:47

A lot of posts. Sorry.

I should hear about first round offers in December.

Then next round applications due January.

And it goes on...

Hopefully I'll be moving to the US for August of 2021.

Hopefully things will work out for me...

Land of the pilgrams, apparently. So... We will see...

There's nothing for me here, that's for sure.

We don't have 'Universities' we don't have 'Research' we don't have 'Medicine' we don't have a 'Health System' and it goes on... All the shiny facades... There's nothing / no-one home.

The thing I can't forgive is that *we don't even want to develop those things*. So, there's nothing to be done.

NZ has steel now. That's new for us, I think. We were importing it from Australia before. Which was very expensive.



 

Re: Dillworth

Posted by alexandra_k on September 20, 2020, at 19:08:25

In reply to Re: Dillworth » alexandra_k, posted by sigismund on September 20, 2020, at 1:55:47

I don't really understand why Australia isn't able to lead the world when it comes to harnessing solar energy.

Especially with regards to things like running coolers for houses.

Or using the solar engergy during the day to treat (de-salinate, even) water.

The vast amounts of desert...

 

Re: Dillworth

Posted by alexandra_k on September 20, 2020, at 19:18:04

In reply to Re: Dillworth » alexandra_k, posted by sigismund on September 20, 2020, at 1:55:47

I'm sorry about all the posts.

I'm just spinning...

I have to get out of NZ. The message is loud. Clear. Univocal. I have to get out of NZ. There is nothing for me here. Nothing.

I am only wasting my time on anything to do with here.

It's only wasting my time reading the NZ news.
It's only wasting my time researching anything to do with NZ.
Even the court cases...
The long (long long long) list of this senior official and that senior official. The head of here there and everywhere...
The CE of University of AUckland.
'' UNiversity of Otago
'' University of Waikato
'' Tertiary Education Commission
'' Universities NZ
'' Vice Chancellors Committee
'' New Zealand Qualifications Authority
'' So many other subsidiaries and subcontractors and so on and so forth thereof who all earn 1/2 a million dollars per year to obscure the fact they have no actual function

'' Minister of Education.
'' New Zealand Government.

There's no Universities here. No education system. No merit based external examination. No objective merit based grading.

There's no freedom to choose what you study.

It's centralised. It's always teh case that people are forcing people to do this that or the next thing from whatever limited range of options they pre-approve for them.

There's nothing here.

_______________________________________________
_______________________________________________

I can only understand the present situation as a blip..

--- blip.

For the purposes of getting me out??

Doesn't seem likely...

There are likely lots of people like me.

Something is shifting. Has shifted. That's for sure.

Usually... There is an element of seeing what the masses are doing and setting out in the reverse direction.

Because the masses are unsustainable. The infrastructure cannot support swarms of locusts.

People are returning to NZ. People set out from NZ from overseas and they are returning on masse... They say they were successful overseas -- but if they were tehy wouldn't be returning. Why are they returning? Because they think things will be better here, I guess. Because we aren't as locked down. Because it looks like we were able to avoid Covid by the strength of isolation. Quanrantine Island.

But I've seen inside the infrastructure. Popped the hood.
It's luck of geograhpical location rather than good management.
There will be the threat of our hospitals being swamped into the indefinate future...
The constant threat of it...
And you look, then, on what we are doing to prepare.
What are we doing to prepare?
We are mostly engaging in denial.
Patting ourselves on the back for something that is not of our making.
Refusing to look at the things we could do to get ready...

____________________________________
____________________________________

I will stop looking at the news etc.

I will focus on my essays... Blip. Focus on the essays.

The novelty of a New Zealander seeking political asylum as a refugee in the US might appeal... Especially once I say something about refual to process refual to process refusal to process refusal to process...

GPA and examination information is worthless...

Because they can't keep accurate transcripts. They can't examine. They won't examine. They won't keep accurate transcripts.

How is the US supposed to process asylum seekers?

I guess it has to be on hte basis of essays. Tell your story. They can look into aspects...

ONe thing for sure: There's nothing for me, here.

 

Re: Dillworth » sigismund

Posted by alexandra_k on September 20, 2020, at 20:58:22

In reply to Re: Dillworth » alexandra_k, posted by sigismund on September 20, 2020, at 1:55:47

i would be surprised if it mostly was coal.

i suspect 'coal' is a front for other things they are getting from the ground. uranium, or whatever. diamonds. gold. whatever else. things they don't want people knowing about, so much. being refined (overseas) into things they would rather not think about. a short-term get-rich-quick sort of a scheme. get it out and get it sold before anybody thinks too much about it.

used to be a thing for New Zealanders. go off to Australia for a few years. Work in the mines. send the money back home. Driving heavy trucks into and out of the mines all day. Nice new trucks. Powerful trucks. Carrying heavey loads. Long routes into and out of the mines all day. Really good pay for drivers who were reliable on those roads.

Then see about getting the family out. Or whatever...

Don't know about now.

____________________________________________

New Zealand just went the 'low low low how low can we go lower than low we found a new low' route to 'growth'.

Whereby anything that wasn't obviously about as low as we could go was chased out of town.

We only want to hire the Doctors who nobody else will hire. So we can treat them badly with low pay and bad working conditions.

We only want the studnets who are 'lucky' we picked them to join our new low. Because the demonstrated ability to plagarise when we told them to and lie about their lab findings when we told them to. Hand in work we wrote for them late for examination so they get pity sign off from overseas years and years and years late so they might get picked to join us on our new low.

Wrongful death after wrongful death after wrongful death. Sorry. That's just how we roll... Always rolling lower and lower and lower than low.

 

Re: Dillworth » alexandra_k

Posted by sigismund on September 22, 2020, at 3:19:34

In reply to Re: Dillworth, posted by alexandra_k on September 20, 2020, at 19:08:25

> I don't really understand why Australia isn't able to lead the world when it comes to harnessing solar energy.
>
> Especially with regards to things like running coolers for houses.
>
> Or using the solar engergy during the day to treat (de-salinate, even) water.
>
> The vast amounts of desert...

Ross Garnaut, the eminent economist wrote a report saying this. I guess there's too much resistance to changing from coal. The shock jocks and Murdoch media don't help. Maybe the lower price of renewables and the next climate related event will have an effect?


 

Re: Dillworth

Posted by alexandra_k on September 24, 2020, at 22:05:18

In reply to Re: Dillworth » alexandra_k, posted by sigismund on September 22, 2020, at 3:19:34

> I guess there's too much resistance to changing from coal.

I guess so. I guess change costs money. That's why government is supposed to alter the taxation to give subsidies and handouts to incentivise the change. To help distribute the costs of change or something. Increase the tax on 'dirty industry'. Helping them see the 'true costs'.

I found jeans today.

I've been bitching and moaning for a while that I couldn't find any jeans in NZ at any price.

I found some 'PJ Jeans' a while back in Christchurch from a 'road works' shop... Where tradies go for clothes. Where prisoners go when they get out. Things like good socks for people to wear in their work boots... I found a good pair of moleskins in, uh, army green, I suppose. A little too small unfortunately. I also found a pair of jeans that were 100 per cent denim. A little too big unfortunately. I'm an 11 is the problem. Not a 10. Not a 12. An 11. And often times they don't make an 11.

Anyway... I managed to get another couple of pairs of the jeans. Made in china. Whatever.

But I actually found some 501s. Originals they call them. Button fly. Straight leg. Blue. Red tap. 5 pocket. Pre-shrunk, I guess. Cotton made in china. Huh. Probably better that way? I hope they pay their workers???

Not cheap. $170. I think... From memory... That's how much they cost when I was in High School. That is how much they cost when I was in College, for sure. $130 sometimes... But the 'classic' ones were typically $170 full price. And... There they were. Huh.

I really want some of these:

https://www.onitsukatiger.com/us/en-us/mexico-66/p/ANA_DL408-0490.html?

Hmm...

 

Re: Dillworth

Posted by alexandra_k on September 24, 2020, at 22:17:18

In reply to Re: Dillworth, posted by alexandra_k on September 24, 2020, at 22:05:18

Sigh. Aw. I'm a sucker for 'street cred'. I never grew up from College, clearly.

I brought a belt today. Which was significant. I've never owned a belt. I have wanted one for a very very very long time. My friend x had one in College and I really liked it... It was a red fabric one and she could set it to exactly where she wanted it because it had some grab mechanism... But I couldn't find one... So I sort of boycotted them in disgust... But I've wanted an 'ordinary' black leather one for a while... I needed one so my couple pairs of over-sized jeans would stay properly up.

And they do, now. It's remarkable. They've gone from being very un-styl-ie too baggy in not cool ways to actually being... Pretty great. Which is why I brought them. If only they sit up properly about my waist, which they do now. So they hang better in the leg. Pretty good. Not my favorite style, exactly, but pretty good. Slightly 'wedgie' -- which is actually a 'style' now, would you believe. Slightly 'Dad's pants' -- which is also a style now, would you believe. I actually think there is something 'all the things that could go wrong when you are trying to find cool jeans' about the names of the present styles. Then they make it look like they are trying to sell those as distict looks. Irony. Something like that... Anyway.. They actually look alright. IMHO. With a belt. Hmmm.

My sister gave me a bunch of clothes -- which is great. Clothes I actually feel pretty alright in. Which is great. But not clothes that I would have chosen for myself... So slightly strange. Yeah. I don't know. I forgot how good I feel when I'm wearing clothes that I really really like. Regardless of how anybody else feels about them. Clothes that I really really like. That were really really chosen by me. Because I really really like them. Just how comfortable and... Myself. How comfortable and myself I feel.

Jeans are genuinely tricky. Especially for girls. Because girls weight fluctuates throughout the month. How much water you carry etc. And the trouble with cotton jeans is they are very stiff when they are washed and they wear into a more relaxed fit. And so the jeans vary and the weight varies... And then some girls are curvy -- and I'm a bit curvy. So then you have to get the jeans over your hips as the widest part of you... But denim isn't naturally elastic so then they will be a bit saggy / baggy... So to get jeans fitting women's body-shape at any time of the month is tricky in the first place and then fit varies at different times of the month... Which is why girls need so very very very very many pairs of jeans. IMHO. And it no excuse for lycra. Noppers. Not for jeans. Jeans are not yoga pants. Noppers.

 

Re: Dillworth

Posted by alexandra_k on September 24, 2020, at 22:22:36

In reply to Re: Dillworth, posted by alexandra_k on September 24, 2020, at 22:17:18

https://www.hypedc.com/nz/chuck-taylor-all-star-70-hi-sunflower?gclid=CjwKCAjwh7H7BRBBEiwAPXjadpfaHFwlT5jGIaDYF8SMrN9wiVrRb_koO4DmRQhzd001EtVikzVV4BoCBFQQAvD_BwE&ef_id=CjwKCAjwh7H7BRBBEiwAPXjadpfaHFwlT5jGIaDYF8SMrN9wiVrRb_koO4DmRQhzd001EtVikzVV4BoCBFQQAvD_BwE:G:s&s_kwcid=AL!6457!3!464274043426!!!g!58828873728!

I'll probably just get some of those... I like the mustard yellow that is currently really popular.

I wanted a stethescope in egg yolk yellow... Or Covid yellow... Sort of road warning yellow -- but the latter is perhaps a little more orange... But LIttman wasn't quite there, yet.

 

Re: Dillworth

Posted by alexandra_k on September 24, 2020, at 23:17:53

In reply to Re: Dillworth, posted by alexandra_k on September 24, 2020, at 22:17:18

https://www.huffer.co.nz/about-us

'huffer' means 'glue sniffer'. oh, yes, it does.

irony.

founded the first year i started college. some of their clothing is styled on the college branding that you get in the US.

the thing about socialising being everything and donating $10 to mental health with some purchases.

apparently 'irony' has been a thing over the last few years. in fashion.

i get it. i think. i do.

we don't pay our artists. so... partly it is 'taking the piss'. the people who do go 'ooooooooooooow wooooooooooow you are so talented and amazing'... about seeing what sorts of crap and weirdness we can get them to do...

just how fugly a thing we can get them to wear thinking they are cool. etc.

not to say they don't have some cool things... but to say that you need to fight a bit of a fight to not be taken the piss out of... and there's a fine line... i don't know...

 

Re: Crops

Posted by alexandra_k on September 25, 2020, at 2:41:19

In reply to Re: Dillworth, posted by alexandra_k on September 24, 2020, at 23:17:53

I mean...

There are water-intensive crops. Crops like strawberries and rice and cotton. I think cotton is water intensive.

And so countries that have lots of natural rainfall... It makes sense that those countries could grow water intensive crops without too much of an issue...

But when you hear of rivers drying up... Because farmers are growing rice or almonds... Or strawberries... That's silly.

Australia grows rice. I don't know why. They have no business growing rice. They have no business growing strawberries. Strawberries do well in the swampy waikato because there's lots of water laying about... Australia shouldn't be growing water-intensive crops that they can import. It makes no sense.

It's unfathomable that the taxation system allows local growth of such things to be short-term profitable.


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