Psycho-Babble Social Thread 1108353

Shown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

I underestimate my mothers stupidity

Posted by Lamdage22 on February 6, 2020, at 4:00:06

So she came crashing into my home and blindsided me with all of her idiotic problems. After that, I had to take 1.5mg Lorazepam in order to get to sleep. If it is fake news, she will believe it. She has the sixth sense. She used her cleaner as a psychologist. All that cleaner gal wanted was money, duh! Now she has seen an alternative healer quack woman who told her that she has killed someone in Egypt in her past life. Self critical thinking is not in her vocabulary. She thinks everyone should go to therapy but herself. What she calls therapy is a complete joke. If you need to find all the worst quacks in the neighborhood, she is your gal! She is so talented in finding all the non serious quacks. And she is so resistant to good advice!! I see no hope. And i will protect myself. She has no insight at all. She doesnt know how bad all of this looks because she cant look at herself from some distance that is needed to critically self analyse.

 

Re: I underestimate my mothers stupidity

Posted by Lamdage22 on February 7, 2020, at 3:55:18

In reply to I underestimate my mothers stupidity, posted by Lamdage22 on February 6, 2020, at 4:00:06

Sorry for the rant. I love my mother but she doesnt make loving her easy. Shed be better off on a neuroleptic and an antidepressant that isnt too activating. I cant think straight with her company. Its just very illogical!

 

Re: I underestimate my mothers stupidity

Posted by Lamdage22 on February 7, 2020, at 3:56:46

In reply to Re: I underestimate my mothers stupidity, posted by Lamdage22 on February 7, 2020, at 3:55:18

but in her opinion, psychologists and doctors in general are not trustworthy. Only quacks are trustworthy in her world!

 

Re: I underestimate my mothers stupidity

Posted by alexandra_k on February 9, 2020, at 9:53:43

In reply to I underestimate my mothers stupidity, posted by Lamdage22 on February 6, 2020, at 4:00:06

It can be important to protect yourself when people don't seem responsive to reason / when people seem determined to feel a certain way / seem determined to try and evoke certain feeling in us...

My Mother can be totally dismissive of my suggestions, sometimes. Little things... Like how an i-pad sort of device would be perfect for her internet needs / computer usage. She just totally ignores / dismisses what I say. Then she listens to a perfect stranger who she just met on the bus and ends up getting one. Then she can't stop praising how perfect it is for her. She never will admit that I suggested it (over and over) though. My sister says that Mother does that to her, too. You just have to let it roll off your back. Mother would get some sort of grotesque satisfaction from thinking that it bugged us / bothered us. Just her... Exerting her power to do her thing, I guess.

I have gotten a lot better at shrugging her off. Whatever. You do you Mother. If I am well rested and so on then I can spot her trying to wind me up, too. Asking me what I think about x or y or z when she suspects I will have (or can be induced to form) an opinion that she can then set about ignoring.

It makes interpersonal interactions fun and exciting for her.

If I can yawn a little and be like 'whatever' then she drops it and moves on. So...

____

I wonder what your Mother gets from what she is doing to you? Maybe it helps her feel like you care? Maybe she likes to evoke a strong emotional response from you?

I don't know.

____

I have had a year of trying to reason with people who are not responsive to reason / are not that way inclined. I mean, really, black is white and up is down and 'nonononono' like a 2 year old and 'what do you meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeean by xxx' and just the worst toddler tantrums I have ever experienced in my whole life...

This is fun for them. They enjoy behaving like that. They just will go on behaving like that.

If I don't want to do that then there isn't anything to be done but to stay the hell away.

________

I'm sorry you don't have more mutually enjoyable interactions with her.


 

Re: I underestimate my mothers stupidity

Posted by alexandra_k on February 9, 2020, at 9:57:14

In reply to Re: I underestimate my mothers stupidity, posted by alexandra_k on February 9, 2020, at 9:53:43

It is the prodding, my my Mother's case.

If she asked me my opinion and I said it and she was like 'okay, thanks' and dropped it, then that's fine. But instead of that she will ask me why... Then when I say 'well you have x and y and z need'... She will end up saying 'no, I don't think that is a good idea'. And then she will go on to complain about how she doesn't have x and y and z. So I reiterate how what I said will help her with that. And she will be 'well no, I don't think so'. Or 'well, no I don't suppose I do need that'.

Round and round...

I think it is just her way of making conversation / having something to talk about, honestly.

 

Re: I underestimate my mothers stupidity

Posted by Lamdage22 on February 9, 2020, at 10:01:55

In reply to Re: I underestimate my mothers stupidity, posted by alexandra_k on February 9, 2020, at 9:57:14

I just hate to feel so hurtful towards my own mother.

 

Re: I underestimate my mothers stupidity Lamdage22

Posted by alexandra_k on February 10, 2020, at 1:51:36

In reply to Re: I underestimate my mothers stupidity, posted by Lamdage22 on February 9, 2020, at 10:01:55

Yeah.

Well, it's a response to some of the things that she does that drive you nuts.

It isn't how you view her whole person.

It can help, sometimes, to let some frustrations out. Sometimes the person we are frustrated at isn't in the position to hear us (or to respond well to how what they do drives us nuts).

I hope you have some nicer interactions with her, soon.

 

Re: I underestimate my mothers stupidity

Posted by Lamdage22 on April 13, 2020, at 3:24:32

In reply to Re: I underestimate my mothers stupidity Lamdage22, posted by alexandra_k on February 10, 2020, at 1:51:36

This is so incredibly stupid. Her blood pressure rises to extremely high values when she gets worked up. This had been recognized since about two years. She was told to take pills and measure. Didnt do it. Now her eyes have taken damage from that because she didnt treat her hypertension. The doctor told her. Today she is worked up again and she says she wont measure because it would be too high. And I shall not tread on her. She wants me to do health care proxy for her. I will decline. She needs someone from the state to force her to get treatment.

 

Re: I underestimate my mothers stupidity

Posted by Lamdage22 on April 13, 2020, at 3:25:19

In reply to Re: I underestimate my mothers stupidity, posted by Lamdage22 on April 13, 2020, at 3:24:32

Someone who will do this without emotion

 

I am contemplating termination of contact

Posted by Lamdage22 on May 3, 2020, at 9:05:33

In reply to Re: I underestimate my mothers stupidity, posted by Lamdage22 on April 13, 2020, at 3:24:32

She is mentally ill plain and simple and doesn't get treatment. We are 4 sons and I am the only idiot who still talks to her. She abuses me, manipulates and ridicules me. She has been doing that forever. I am scared to death when i love (or even like) a woman. I have learned that women you love abuse you, because my mother did.

 

Re: I am contemplating termination of contact

Posted by Lamdage22 on May 3, 2020, at 9:18:23

In reply to I am contemplating termination of contact, posted by Lamdage22 on May 3, 2020, at 9:05:33

She is a victim of her children in her view.

 

Still my mother

Posted by Lamdage22 on July 15, 2020, at 6:36:48

In reply to Re: I am contemplating termination of contact, posted by Lamdage22 on May 3, 2020, at 9:18:23

Well, she can do whatever she wants, she is still my mother. I am easily angered. But she sometimes puts me to the test. She is the same way. Can get really worked up over things often times leading to dangerously high blood pressure. I am a bit concerned. But i think there is no "blood pressure stabilizer" like there are mood stabilizers. Or is there?

If there isn't, then maybe she should do psychotherapy. But she has to find out on her own.


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