Psycho-Babble Social Thread 1104778

Shown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.



Posted by alexandra_k on June 7, 2019, at 22:23:02

and it's like being a secret informant.
only there's nothing secret about it. never was.
lots of these people... Deans, particularly, seem to think their job is / they only have their job because of their basic refusal to do the things that they are supposed to do.
Or like the head of the law stuff at the Students Union in Dunedin / Otago who did her job over the years... Successfully helped it remain the case that students lived in sub-standard housing and alcohol laws weren't improved and recycling didn't happen and so on... All the things she did for the good of the people -- which was her job -- right?
These people seem to think they only have the job because of how badly they behave.

Well, then, maybe if I don't behave badly I'll get a job because of how badly it is that I do not behave. If I behave well maybe I'll get a job that requires and values that, then.

Maybe that's the idea.

Only people refuse to credit me with qualifications I've earned year after year after year after year after year after...

Why wouldn't they -- if they could get away with it.


Then one day they (let us say) get hit by a bus.

Then people come and find them lying there, vulnerable. Wanting help.

What do they expect / want / hope that these people who find them will do with them?

Given that they have opportuinity?


It is a kind of brain damage.

I can only suppose.


Re: informant

Posted by alexandra_k on June 7, 2019, at 22:39:34

In reply to informant, posted by alexandra_k on June 7, 2019, at 22:23:02

And I do get it. That their job is to see how many people they can get to do the sorts of things they publically approve of...

If you make immorality the social norm and the easy route and so on. See how many people are readily swayed into doing what is socially normal...

I do sort of see that that is an easier way of assessing things. Particularly when times are tough / when things are tight.

And when most people... 75 per cent. Heard something the other day about 90 per cent, even... When most people are 'flexible' or 'adaptable' or however you want to cast that...

Adaptable enough to adopt prison guard mentality when caring for people who have done nothing wrong (Stanford experiment). Adaptable enough to electrocute someone if they think they can get away with it / if they think it is socially sanctioned (Milgrim experiment).

It is f*ck*ng ridiculous it takes so long to sign off 120 points of study. ! academic year. THey are trying to drag it out so it takes 3 years standardly, as a matter of course. Don't enrol the student until half way through the first year. Don't let them submit until half way through the second. Then after 3 months of examination they will have to keep working on it for 6 months then another 3 months examination. Then up to 10 weeks of changes. That brings us to the end of academic year number 3.

I don't think anybody would voluntarily do that degree. Especially without any source of funding.

They tricked me into it by saying there was no reason they could see why the 120 point program of study needed to take a calendar year -- I could get it done in an academic year.

Then they refused to do any of their work on time.

I think their accreditation should go away, now.

I wonder how many students lives they ruined.

How much money they stole.

I guess the idea is that most of the students were as bad as them. They would have done the same to them if they had the opportunity.

The Dean of Medicine, particularly, has to deal with all the corrupt foreigners who want to buy their kids a Medical Education. All the Saudi Arabian people who want particular women trained to look after harems of slaves back home, or whatever. They have to deal with this stuff on a daily basis.


Where does that leave me?

10 years later...

They will make things take generations. Whether I have a kid, or not. There will be no work for me in my 'nomral working' lifetime. Generations...

F*ck*ng idiots


Re: informant

Posted by alexandra_k on June 7, 2019, at 22:41:02

In reply to Re: informant, posted by alexandra_k on June 7, 2019, at 22:39:34

It is when you don't see innocents that you start thinking about terrorist types of things.

That's supposed to be the deterrant. That there are innocents.

It is seeing innocent people who are horribly affected by bombings and the like that brings home this idea that such things are not justified.

That's why the worst of the worst of the worst hide behind hostages.

Build bunkers under children's hospitals.


Re: informant

Posted by alexandra_k on June 7, 2019, at 22:51:22

In reply to Re: informant, posted by alexandra_k on June 7, 2019, at 22:41:02

And this belief that there are good people.

There are good people.

Even if most people are horribly corrupt and will do everything in their power to prevent you having independent means with which to live your own life as you see fit...

There are good people.

Because if there weren't any good people...

There wouldn't be any reason not to do whatever whatever horrible thing...

So I guess this idea that anyone working at the World Trade Centre...

That a certain amount of corruption or whatever was necessary for that position...

Was likely a belief of the people who were behind it.

It's easier to dehumanise the 'other'.

It's scarier, isn't it, when people dehumanise their community.

When people look around tehir commuity...

Their very own community...

And say 'there don't appear to be people, here'.


Tick tock

What am I waiting for???

The Dean to fail me out of the University -- because she can. Because she doesnt' think I am compliant enough.

I'm supposed to be feeling afraid my work is substandard.

Only, it is over 1 year's work for a 120 point program of study.

I should not have to work on it anymore. I resent that I am supposed to be working on it. I don't see how I am supposed to be working on it.

I am supposed to work as a slave on fear of being failed.

I am afraid of the level of corruption, here.

The Ombudsman is looking into it. I have been assured. But we have the 'lowest perceived rate of corruption in the world' and I don't know whether that's because the Ombudsman is particularly bad or particularly good at his job.

I don't think it is fair on other students for me to work for free.

It sets an awful precedent.

Like how they keep a person around without a PhD... Someone who has been workign on it (supposedly) for more than 10 years. Nobody will sign her off. Nobody will tell her that that's the thing. If nobody will sign you off then it will never happen. It isn't her fault that she's working things round and round and there's nothing she can do. She will never be done if they don't sign her off. Sign her off, already.

But they employ her.

So they can be like 'see -- you can get jobs in Philosophy and pick up teaching work in Philosophy without having finished a PhD / without having yoru work signed off on'. To try and normalise the whole not signing off on people thing.

I don't know if I should just give them back the version I handed them February 25th.

Did the changes within 10 weeks.

I think that is what the examiners wanted from me.

Maybe it wouldn't be fair to other students to give them a later version than that.

The Dean said I would not get my qualification if I did not agree to keep working on it for 6 months -- and pay 2 months additional fees.

But that was a wrong decision on her part.

But that's still being investigated.

So what should I do??


I don't know.

Apparently the Dean is on holiday. I thought 'bitch'. It's winter. Of course she is. Probably someplace sunny.

But of course she may have been told to take a holiday without pay for a little while.

I don't know.


Re: informant

Posted by alexandra_k on June 7, 2019, at 22:58:25

In reply to Re: informant, posted by alexandra_k on June 7, 2019, at 22:51:22

I guess that's the thing.

If you want registration with people who have a very organised system of rules...

Particularly when you see the reason for many of the rules and think the rules make sense...

Particularly when you see that their rules seem to work well for them in ways you respect and value...

Then you might be inclined to trust those rules in the cases where you don't see the reason.

(which helps with potential moral problems)


When there are systems / structures in place for reporting things that seem to violate them -- or for registering you problem with various rules (e.g., why you think they need to be / are being violated)... Even when that takes some time and has to go through a couple levels... When things do get considered properly and things are responsive...

Then I guess the rules are your Daddy, aren't they. I mean to say, you follow the rules and then the rules help you. THat was the whole Socrates thing. About why he couldn't run away. Because the rules that protected him ... He was subject to those. He chose to spend his time violating the rules (corrupting the young) instead of choosing to spend his time changing the system so that his activity wasn't outside the laws. If that makes sense.

I have seen glimmers...

I guess I just need to hold fast.

It is important not to do the equivalent of regressing on admission. Otherwise people think they have done the wrong thing in admitting you. I haven't seen glimmers in a long while...

It'll be okay.

Light touch.

I need to think 'only minor' changes at this point. I moved a fuckign chapter around (one of the examiners said 'maybe' do that). So now I have lots of fussy bits to make it coherant (changing internal references).

Just give me the f*ck*ng degree, already. Then I have to 'study' by... I don't know... practing adding and subtracting numbers quickly and percentages and all that 'simple math' b*llsh*t for $300 worth of data collection to pay a bunhc of peopel to work in 'medical education' so they get to feel powerful and included too in medication student selection.



Re: informant

Posted by alexandra_k on June 7, 2019, at 23:10:12

In reply to Re: informant, posted by alexandra_k on June 7, 2019, at 22:58:25

They did have an okay ethics statement sort of a thing. There were some good ideas. About the spirit of the rules. About how you try and apply that. About accountability for that. About how you will be in trouble if they think you cannot grasp something along the lines of the spirit which results in your doing things that a bunch of people find problematic...

It read well. Seemed sensible. Wasn't idiotic.

The compulsory typographical error / equivalent.

That doesn't actually matter.

But pops out. In a synasthesia kind of a way.

Working for Doctors, Working for Patients.

Maybe less capital letters. Sigh. I'm not sure. Some stuff pops out. I don't know why. Other stuff I don't seem to be able to grasp, particularly. Apostrophe rule. My issues are to do with singular vs group. Apparently that isnt' the issue so much as possession. Huh. There are Deep Issues There. Hrmph.


Re: informant

Posted by alexandra_k on June 7, 2019, at 23:15:19

In reply to Re: informant, posted by alexandra_k on June 7, 2019, at 23:10:12

It's the same, again, with the capital letters.

I understand you capitalise proper names where a proper name is the name of a particular person. So a singular. There can be a proper name for a group, though, too, like, uh, the University. I don't know a lot of the time whether a word is a proper name for a group or not. That's why I don't know whether I should capitalise or not. Then too many capitalisations looks terrible. Like writing emails in rainbow colours for effect or something. So I don't know. Then sometimes it seems to be more a sign or mark of respect.


I interpret rules good. But often different to the majority. But that's good. Most people are not good.

Socrates wasn't violating the spirit of the rule...

I don't know about what I said about that. I think he was just tired of all the idiots, really. You get to a point and you've just had enough. I think he had just had enough, really.


Re: informant

Posted by alexandra_k on June 7, 2019, at 23:41:21

In reply to informant, posted by alexandra_k on June 7, 2019, at 22:23:02

It's just frustrating of all these years of people refusing to acknowledge / credit me while other children are expediated through (quickly quickly quickly before people realise that there really isn't anything special about so many of those kids).

It wasn't about the acknowledgement / credit for me.

Because I always thought the people who mattered could tell the difference.

But over time I saw less and less and less people who mattered.

Who could tell the difference.

I mean to say...

If you took a random bunch of people (with professionals and homeless people and really a vastly different range of people) and you dressed them all the same and gave them the same haircut and so on...

And you have conversations with them...

And you figure who the smartest ones are... You figure who the bullies are... You figure who is morally trustworthy...

All of this stuff.

Without introduction.

I thought people could basically tell that I was okay.


Over time

MOre and more and more people treat me more and more and more badly and seem to think I'm worthless vermin sh*t.

Can't tell.

Can't tell teh difference between the one who homes in on the vulnerable because the vulnerable are easy targets to exploit...

And me.

What are you doing to do?

We were waiting for you to stand up for yourself?

And so on...

Thanks for helpling me out. GIving me little hints, even.

I really don't buy it / believe it.

At all.

People are only out for themselves and mostly think that shoving the people around them back is their way forwards.

There isn't really a sense of helping each other.

Not extended to me...

There was this thing about how 'if you had your own means you would never see us'.

If you choose to treat me that way... Yeah...

People like to treat people like garbage.

Mother has a... Routine. There's a certain speel she's got where she wants me to feel angry. Repulsion. There are a bunch of emotions. When she wants to induce them in others she starts up with her speel.

It's pre-emption.

I guess.


Like pushing someone away because you think they are about to leave, anyway.

Borderline kind of a thing to do.

Autism was a good solution for me. Removal. I can deal with myself. Find myself. Really come to realise that I am not my biggest enemy. I am my best-est friend. I treat myself better than anybody else will. Partly because I'm so very intimate with what I need / want / what is good for me. As it should be.

I wonder what will happen. With people, I mean. If global population will always need to be contolled by war / famine / disease...


To try and increase the proportion of people. To try and build and develop structures and incentivie people to behave in ways we want to see more of...

The whole... I forget what it's called... Margaret Atwood. Handmaid's Tale. It's counter-reality. I mean the horrible horrible future is not one in which fertility is limited and babies are so very very very very precious. The horrible horrible future is one in which people do not have access to birth control and babies are treated worse than rats.

Though I guess it's the other extreme...

It's torture because things move on...

I mean, I know they don't for most people. Some people only ever produce 1 thesis / book. They cling to it. It's their lifes work. Maybe one that was basically written by their sulpervisor. A write up of discussions between them and their supervisor.

But I'm like a river... Things evolve and move on... My head isn't in my thesis. That was last year. I have ideas for new things. But I don't get to do new things because i have to move things different on old things.

So someone else's child can be expediated through Medical School.

quickly quickly...

Then out the other end of it... I wonder how many years it takes before they sign off on your having finished Medical School. Need that in yoru hot little hand before you can get a Match place, I would imagine. The timeline means we are however many years behind...

I get it...

Everything is sorted early. The deals are done early on.

Then you just f*ck about and wait however many years...

I don't know how much study it is possible to do while working however many hours you are supposed to work in the hospitals. There aren't doctors lounges anymore. I don't know that there is anyplace quiet you could put yourself to study... Yes I do... It's called night shift. If you can get it. I bet...

Anyway... Whatever...

Just remember...

Most of it is a facade.

Most of the property owners aren't as rich as I sometimes think they are. The people who earn the most have the highest committements to others in teh outgoings. Reinvestment, I mean. That's why more flows through them. Because they are good with what they have. Which is why they see more. You just have to believe. Becuase... Well... What's teh alternative?

And that is very very very very very very different... From population control.

I guess. I didn't want an equity place to be tagged / targeted for the crappiest positions nobody else wants... To realise.. Properly realise that the reason my applications keep being declined isn't because I'm not good enough... It's because they are corrupt. Because they are not applying the rules to me (she thinks she's special -- we'll show her! she thinks the rules dn't apply to her! - we'll show her by not applying the rules to her!)

I do stand out as differetn. Always have. Nothing I can do about that. It is my virtue / vice.

It makes it hard to apply the rules to me. Because it is hard to figure the precedent / apply the spirit of the rules. That's why the Ombudsman needs to take a look... I don't mean to be difficult.. But I present a difficult case.. And times are tough. So people dismiss me because they don't know how / what to do with me. But year after year after year after... No... It's not okay.


Re: informant

Posted by alexandra_k on June 7, 2019, at 23:52:01

In reply to Re: informant, posted by alexandra_k on June 7, 2019, at 23:41:21

because i just couldn't make my first year population health essays indistinguishable from the average health science first year students. which is to say, someone who did not do particularly well in school. someone who had not studied any arts / social science courses at university. someone who wanted to be a doctor (straight out of high school) but who had not excelled in science.

that basically means a bunch of people who are not that bright. that they are 'having a go' at getting into medicine when they didn't do well from school, i mean to say.

these people pass... do well in population health. because they try and encourage them to get jobs... working for the government. writing health policy. stuff like that.

uh... stuff that i'm actually qualified to do.

i mean... if i was prepared to hang about wellington for 2 years of 'frictional unemployment' and apply for government jobs they would likely think that i could be good at helping them write policy document sorts of things, i mean to say.


the thing that i'm probably the best at.

they decided to fail me at that.

because they had the power to do that.

so they decided to do that with the power that they had.

because by failing me...

they thought i would...

stay with them?

or run away.

i think they wanted to ruin my full time GPA forever. so i was forced to run back to wherever i came from. so i would stop making their 'best kids' (whoever they were) look bad.

their tutors...

their graduate students...

their selves...

tis a nasty business.

people who choose to watch shortland street rather than a show about current events (including much health-related).

population health degree program...

targeting the 'first in family' degree program.

making sure any people they find in those parts are flunked out quick smart.


Re: informant

Posted by alexandra_k on June 8, 2019, at 0:00:24

In reply to Re: informant, posted by alexandra_k on June 7, 2019, at 23:52:01

they brought them into the city.
across the carpark from me now, actually.
i can shake my fist at them every morning.
and shake my fist at them every morning i will.

but they brought them into the city.

what does that mean?

it means it will be much easier for the kids who do choose to keep on with public health (the kids who failed chemistry, in other words).. it will make it easier for those kids to keep doing classes in physiology and immunology and microbiology. before... timetabling would likely have been prohibitive. commute times. it brings them back closer to the fold...

it means they can do courses in statistics and public law and sociology and history and english literature.

that is a good thing. teh skills the population health degree supposedly provides are not provided by the population health degree. one would be better doing a blend of things already present. then chosing your own theme, if you are that obsessed.

the degree program (best i can figure) was a money earner. trying to get a bunch of 'equity' people who did not have the capacity to study at university handing over university fees for teh degree certificate after.. however many years of study. only to find they couldn't find a job and would be required to continue on with graduate study for however many years... continually throwing money at the university... getting deeper and deeper and deeper in debt...

i wonder how the program will do now it's been brought back into the fold.

what do they do?

who does what?

i don't know.

they had a surgery simulator to teach people why indigenous people don't get operations. because people withhold the information that you need (as a surgeon) in orde to get good outcomes. unless you give those people the attention they need (the nurses and the like who have been assigned to your team, i mean) they will only work to undermine you. which is very stressful. but serves you right. which is why the indigenous people get nothing in the name of equity you see. which is why / because only the equity people WITHOUT capacity are accepted in the name of equity.

it is never about including people WITH capacity.

You find the people without capacity. Disability inclusion is about including people without the capacity (or inclincation) to study Calculus into the Calculus classroom in the name of equity! Then calculus needs to realise that calculus isn't being appropriately responsive to the demands of the calculus students. The calculus students want calculus to be about playing netball. So now students all play netball in calculus and calculus means netball in indigenous and equity speak and now all is equitable in teh world because everybody can do calculus who wants to do calculus!

(there is no more calculus)

Sewerage systems...

Auckland cannot be filled to present capacity because the sewers are backing up.

This is the end of the thread.

Show another thread

URL of post in thread:

Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ

[dr. bob] Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,

Script revised: February 4, 2008
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.