Psycho-Babble Social Thread 1104460

Shown: posts 1 to 25 of 25. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

there's nothing here

Posted by alexandra_k on May 18, 2019, at 16:16:15

I don't think it is just that I have grown. I think things have become objectively worse, here. There's nothing here.

I think one of my panelists -- the most senior person -- is actually physically incapable of reading my thesis. He keeps saying that it should be shorter. He has given me no indication that he has read beyond the second paragraph of a version I did back last October. It is all marked up. Like, he takes issue with every single sentence.

I remember one of the guys in Aussie was like that. I have him a chunk of work and we never got to discuss the content of it because he got all hung up over the first sentance and wanted to use it as an opportunity to lecture me about stuff I actually knew...

I suppose just to mask the fact that he didn't take the time to read it.

Maybe he is a slow reader? I don't know. I don't know what the deal is.

I don't actually care if he reads it, or not. I mean it would be terrific if he was actually helpful. But all he actually needs to f*ck*ng do is to sign me off. He doesn't get to not sign me off becuase he's not willing / able to read graduate level work. Only... He seems to think that is actually the case. I handed my work in: They tried to have me thrown out of the University unless I agreed to throw more money at the University for the pleasure of... Sitting back and letting them take 4+ months in which to read it. They don't even need to read it. The examiners need to read it. They just need to check I've made the changes required by the examiners. But instead of doing their f*ck*ng job they decide a better use of their time is to have committee meeting after committee meeting after committee meeting about... Well... F*ck knows what.

The point was supposed to be an increase in quality research. Everything is supposed to be working towards that end. But they choose to hire people who aren't particularly productive in it and who aren't particularly helpful in extracting it from their students.

We have this public health health star rating system. It is supposed to be targeted towards the most vulnerable people in society. Vulnerable people who are unable to read an ingredients list or decide what is healthy... The people who need extra help. The star rating system rates food / beverages (sometimes -- I think you have to pay for a star rating for your product) and 1 star is worst and 5 starts is supposed to be best.

5 stars - peanut butter (known allergen for many people)
4 stars - many breakfast cereals like coco pops that are around 20-25 percent sugar. i found hot chocolate mix that has sugar as the first ingredient.
2 stars - some bottled waters

i find it hard to imagine the diet that one would have to eat such that a *better* diet would be one that selected more foods with a higher star rating.

it seems to me that the star rating system is more about *exploiting* people who are not able to read / understand ingredients lists.

it is unfortunate because they are people who care about their health enough to care about what the public health people say they should eat more of if they care about their health.

the stated aims of the rating system was to help consumers eat less sugar and fat and so on. apparently water did badly because it is low nutrient. apparently the drinking cocolate (high sugar) was low in cocoa solids (the healthy ingredient ironically enough).

like... saying that tuna with the fish oils extracted out is healthier than tuna because it is low fat.

what kind of idiocy is this?

apparently it is a kind of idiocy that gets a big boost in funding over the next 5 years. apparently that is the problem. we need to throw more money at it.

i really don't think that's the problem.

are they so very bad at doing a good job? or are they so very good at doing such a bad job? i don't suppose it makes so very much of a difference...

then you get nutritionists and this is the only sort of job they can get.

well done government hand-outs.

sigh.

i did not come back here to do philosophy.

things have gone backwards / downhill.

they made the hiring decisions they made.

part of the problem is what it is that the people aspire to... they aspire to... positions / roles where that isn't what is good for the field. they look at what some of the senior people have. x and y and z. and they want those things for themselves. only, x and y and z aren't good for the profession. the profession has gone backwarsd and downhill with them in charge...

I mean, they can't organise a single journal in the field for the whole country. i mean... not even a graduate student journal showcasing the best of their graduate students work.

The university cannot really manage a student magazine... I saw a fairly decent article / spread in the last one was... Well... No authors were listed... It was a write up on what a guy was saying who visited and gave a talk from Princeton... Not credited to him... But the sort of thing you would expect students to be coming up with / engaging with on campus.

Instead our magazine is mostly (week after week) about alcohol and about trashy / rubbishy student flats and about how everyone is bored or asleep in class and about how students don't actually do any actual work.

There are glimmers of otherwise, but mostly not.

There is not much of a university.

it's a complete f*ck*ng babel.

If I get to do med I know already / I already know: Theres nothing there.

If I get picked it will be that I am picked for all the wrong reasons. If I get to be a surgeon it won't be because I turned out to be skilled / handy in the operating room. It will be because of a whole bunch of completely irrelevant stuff. Over and over and over and over and over and over again.

Was that a part of it?

I guess it was. I do remember thinking to myself: There's no way I would want a job in philosophy in New Zealand. I would feel like shooting my face off most every day at how backwards and f*ck*ng nonsensical the field and people working in the field and the aspirations of the field and so on and so forth are in this sh*t hole.

I remember thinking to myself: If I am to be happy in New Zealand I will have to pick something I'm not particularly good at. That way I'll fit right on on.

But then...

I actually turned out to be alright at science.

I am learning we really can't pick them. The world over. All these intelligence tests and the like... Such a f*ck*ng farce.

They can be used to distinguish people with problems...

But not high end distinguishers.

That aspect is visible... By way of life... Not really testable.

Most people can't distinguish / tell the difference.

Minimise time spent

What a f*ck*ng waste of a life

 

Re: there's nothing here

Posted by alexandra_k on May 18, 2019, at 16:27:07

In reply to there's nothing here, posted by alexandra_k on May 18, 2019, at 16:16:15

i have been thinking about costly signals.

i have been thinking about how it is easy / easier to do the right thing when there are rules and regulations and systems for accountability where things can be reported in a timely fashion and followed up in a timely fashion and intelligently improved in a timely fashion...

i mean, that's the purpose of good systems. to make it easier and more likely that people do good things / the right thing.

but it is significantly harder to do the right thing / to do good things...

when it seems that the converse is rewarded.

for example...

if it seems that the only way you get top grades is to...

- copy what lecturers said / wrote on powerpoint / wrote in the margins into your actual work and then claim it as your own

- lie about what you did in laboratory

- lie about what you found in laboratory

etc

then...

top grades indicates your willingness to do that.

good to know. for people who know that that is what that means...

yep.

but more what i was thinking was what you have to do to get things signed off.

they try and teach us here to huddle with the herd. like... people take pot shots at whoever seems opportunistically easiest for them to take pot shots at. then last one left standing is a victor!

we are supposed to believe that things are very competitive and getting ahead is about kicking other people back and doing what you are told (complying with people who tell you to do awful immoral things).

i guess you...

at the time...

do what the herd does... i guess... if you are actually forced into a hard place...

and report them. and then it is the systems job.

if you encourage people to be honest about their lack of morality... if you normalise it... then you can save a lot of time in people being forthright about it, i suppose.

but integrity... needs to be assessed some other way. and it needs to be something you see demonstrated even when it appears to be at significant cost to the indivdiual. you need to distinguish between a person accidentally or opportunistically doing the right thing... and people who do the right thing even when it seems to be the harder thing to do...

it has to be a costly signal.

 

Re: there's nothing here

Posted by alexandra_k on May 18, 2019, at 16:34:17

In reply to Re: there's nothing here, posted by alexandra_k on May 18, 2019, at 16:27:07

i think it is about the university collecting money. there is some sort of requirement that students can finish undergraduate degrees in the minimum time. we need to do that otherwise our international student investors will pull out. part of the draw is that we have a 3 year undergraduate degree. universities are not allowed to make requirements or change requirements such that it is not possible (from an administration point of view) for students to enrol in / complete course requirements for their degree in 3 years. the university cannot force a student to stick around for another year by only offering final year requirement every other year, for example.

but there is no such requirement on graduate level study. so the university has it into their heads that they are allowed to make students take the MAXIMUM amount of time. any mention of 'significant' changes or any mention of the student 'keeping working' by examiners is interpreted as grounds to require the student to re-enrol for 6 additional months and pay an additional 6 months of fees. this is the case for PhD programs (3 year thesis programs) and they are making it the case for MPhil program, too, which was only a 120 point program and thus should have been completable on a 9 month one academic year timeframe...

I only enroled in the degree because I was told I could complete it in an academic year.

Then once I was enroled I was told that was not possible because it would stress my panel too much.

I think they only picked a panel who would be stressed so they could say precisely that.

They decided their strategy was to collect maximum fees from students and beg / plead incompetence.

They intentionally pick incompetent people to teach.

Then blame students for having bad work ethics, drinking too much, not attending class, and so on...

How low can we go???

I guess we see.

This really is the rubbish heap of the world.

 

Re: there's nothing here

Posted by alexandra_k on May 18, 2019, at 16:45:36

In reply to Re: there's nothing here, posted by alexandra_k on May 18, 2019, at 16:34:17

and students just end up getting themselves into increasing levels of debt on paper.

the whole strategy has been to make it very easy for people to borrow more money than they can afford to pay back.

to give people bad credit histories.

so then we can withhold essential goods and services (electric and the like) from them -- and have everybody believe that it is *their fault*.

that's how our suicide rates get to be so high. the persistent and repeated lack of access to basic needs (including but not exclusively psychological) accompanied by blaming the individual and encouraging them to internalise it as their fault.

accompanied by alcohol to help induce increasing levels of brain damage.

accompanied by pictures of cute kids over all the welfare offices up and down the country to encourage people to have more and more and more and more kids (the vague promise that if they have kids then welfare will provide enough for them to eat as well)

accompanied by a blind eye to mj so the people are apathetic and lethargic and accepting / sedated about the situation.

and then teh over-medication of psych meds. old generation anti-psychotics for same effect.

it's a wonderful way to rule!

sigh.

 

Re: there's nothing here

Posted by alexandra_k on May 18, 2019, at 16:56:28

In reply to Re: there's nothing here, posted by alexandra_k on May 18, 2019, at 16:45:36

this year is (yet another year) of a complete and utter f*ck*ng waste of a life.

this entire year is me mostly waiting around for people to sign off on the work i've done.

of course i'm required to make changes. to justify it taking a whole year. i was given the first sentance of my thesis last meeting.

why thanks for writing the first sentance of my thesis for me! let me write that down and put that in there as my first sentance! it was so worth a year of my life for you to write the first sentance for me!

uh, did you get to paragraph 3 yet?

there is a talk about ex-phi this week...

hmm. last time i heard about ex-phi i just arrived in aussie. there was a conference on it because a couple people were on the job market... then i caught them the last year they were some place for a year in the US before they moved on to higher ranking institutions...

i guess it's the same old...

we get everything 20 years late.

rock bands and everything...

when everybody else all teh world over is over it. it comes here. some last ditch effort to extract everything out of it.

people don't come here with work in progress... they don't come here showcasing work that is about to come out in journals (so people can get cracking writing responses)... because people take 20+ years to get around to writing responses in these parts so it's f*ck*ng pointless. so... instead... people give old papers. stuff that's so f*ck*ng old the rest of the world wouldn't put up with them giving it.

that's how it feels.

so the stuff is polished. because it's super-old. because it's been given over and over and over and over and over to audiences everywhere else first.

a trouble with that is that it gives us a false view of the field, however.

it stifles development because people here don't appreciate it for that. it sets a very high bar on quality. then people are too scared to say anything. couple that with a supervisor / panelist who can't bring himself to read sentance number 2 until he believes sentance number 1 is perfect (written by himself) and...

people here talk to me horribly.

there is much 'i know you are but what am i' and 'nooooooo that's you' kinds of 'discussions' too. highly emotionally reactive and so on. the aim seems to be to get everything wound up to excitement... nonsense output... it's just horrible. a horrible way of interacting. no shared vision of what the aim is. horrible people.

i am so over it.

the university produced an excess of managers because pepole chased the money because people were sick of being poor.

i think it is about lack of access to resources growing up. many people then have issues about it. you don't need to work very hard to convince people in this country that life is a nasty struggle for you to have which means others will likely die of not having enough. its psychologically plausible to people. like our last prime minister. culture of bullies. paying it forwards... a nasty view of life, indeed. and their believing it makes it so...

 

Re: there's nothing here

Posted by alexandra_k on May 18, 2019, at 16:59:29

In reply to Re: there's nothing here, posted by alexandra_k on May 18, 2019, at 16:56:28

so i have a number of issues with the ombudsman.

the ombudsman is supposed to be responsible for accountability / issues to do with corruption when it comes to government agencies.

apparently nz ranks very highly indeed when it comes to low levels of perceived corruption.

that means our ombudsman is very...

?

?

good?

bad?

at it's job.

 

Re: there's nothing here

Posted by alexandra_k on May 19, 2019, at 9:59:32

In reply to Re: there's nothing here, posted by alexandra_k on May 18, 2019, at 16:59:29

so what's the moral / lesson here?

i did not ask to be born

 

Re: there's nothing here

Posted by alexandra_k on May 19, 2019, at 10:19:05

In reply to Re: there's nothing here, posted by alexandra_k on May 19, 2019, at 9:59:32

i just don't see a way.

hard work does not pay off.

there are bottlenecks all over the show and the people in charge of bottlenecks will not let me through.

i think it is as the dean of the school of graduate research said 'we really thought you would be more compliant'. there is this game of *ss kissing. i'm supposed to look people directly in the eyes and be all like 'mmmmm yeah i like nothing better than to have you totally screw me over because you have the power to furtehr your interests at my expense, wow you are my superhero, when i grow up i want to be just like you!!'

and i was like...

'compliance? that is what you want in your doctor?'

and she looked vaguely puzzled and kind of looked away / backed off..

momentarily.

but of course that doesn't change her general approach. the general approach. the whole reason why she aspired to her job in the first place. the whole perk of her job. the whole reason why she gets to feel happy about life and so on... the research school that she made... the research output she gets to feel proud of... in how they manage to double graduate student incidence while halving output by way of making them all take twice as f*ck*ng long. but ooooooh she's so busy busy busy busy busy looking after all those students making sure they hang about to re-enrol another day. what a big superhero of an important person.

go glad england saw fit to throw her this way.

i love it how here we are hierarchical not only about people but about subjects. some subjects are simply better than other subjects, you see. chemistry is a pretty good subject. philosophy is the worst subject. that's the way the hierarchy of subjects goes. you pick a good subject and you end up doing a bad subject when you don't do well enough in a better subject.

and in first year most subjects -- especially the really good subjects -- only offer 2 classes. one in each semester. so you have to do both of them if you are a major or are minoring in the subject. and they encourage you to do 3 pairs of subjects to see what you enjoy before your second year of your degree when you will do mostly 2nd year subjects. because there are first year, second year, and third year courses in each subject, you see. and requirements on major are typically something like 2 first year, 3 or 4 second year, then 3 or 4 third year. and sometimes there will be compulsory courses. like a third year research methods or a second year statistics or whatever.

it's a way of creating a bottleneck.

first year is often pretty good -- because they are trying to encourage you to major or support. to take the second year courses.

third year is where it turns to sh*t. because you are locked in. if you want to finish your degree in 3 years then you need to not change your mind on your major. but it is during your second year that you learn things like... if you keep your major then this one particular person will basically determine quite a lot of your fate at third year level. there will be a compulsory course with a compulsory requirement which will be sufficiently 'soft' so there is a significant element of arbitrary...

or... nobody actually checks the multi-guess.

multi-guess increasingly asks questions for which there is no best answer and there is no assurance they assigned marks according to a schedule anyway because they do not return scripts or allow you to view marking schedules etc. there is no accountability on marking / on assignment of grades.

people think i'm too old. they won't say that but that is a huge part of it. because of the whole hierarchy thing people think i'm stupid, too.

the subject hierarchy is about trying to get the kids through with the heaviest parental investment. rewarding arbitrary stuff they were taught in school.

we prefer to think things are random rather than things like... work paying off.

because the people here were chucked back.

i was...

foolish?

to think i could do more with my life.

and so...

i get to do nothing at all.

i haven't been able to see a way.

and the people rejoice

that's the world that they made. they really genuinely seem to prefer things this way.

a guy on my panel... has twins. don't know why he would want to have them / bring them here, but there you go.

thank you US for sending him our way!

one of his kids had a tonsil removed...

i wonder if he did his research or if he trusted what they recommended.

i won't ask him.

i bet he did not do his research.

people really genuinely seem to prefer things this way.

 

Re: there's nothing here

Posted by alexandra_k on May 19, 2019, at 10:40:22

In reply to Re: there's nothing here, posted by alexandra_k on May 19, 2019, at 10:19:05

one of the deans at the medical school at auckland asked me if i was sure that i wanted to join them since the people who were unwilling / unable to calculate my gpa correctly were apparently one and the same as the people who were supposed to motivate and inspire medical students.

medical students need motivating and inspiring?

i see...

i didn't realise the aim was to pick the ill-motivated and un-inspired so as to give the people whose job it is to accurately calculate gpas something to do...

i'm so reassured to know there are people employed by the medical school for the purposes of motivating and inspiring people to study medicine!

you can't talk to people about what their job is in these parts.

there is no buy in for surgical check-lists.

if you say you want people to say what they think their job is they immediately get all defensive, typically. because they often have no f*ck*ng idea what their job is.

i mean, cleaners at residential halls don't have task checklists. so some things (wiping door handles with disinfectant) never got done. while other things got over-done. to the point where the cleaner is having a breakdown about the fact that she is picking clothes etc up off peoples floors in order to do vaccuming because she doesn't think her job is to vaccum peoples floors *when their floors are clear for her to vaccum*...

the building i'm in now... management just seems to want rubbish bins / recycling bins to go away. because there are too many bins to manage. but people will manage their own bins if they know how. they want us to believe recycling bins must go because people will not do recycling properly. people insist on putting soft plastics in recycling bins because New Zealand should be recycling soft plastics rather than dumping them in landfill. Instead of telling people clearly 'NZ does not recycle soft plastics these need to go into the rubbish' they tell people to buy soft plastic rubbish bags for their rubbish... and not give them the means to protect their recycling (e.g., making everyones recycling bins lockable)...

the solution...

it's a no brainer.

right?

it's f*ck*ng obvious.

right?

never to the people in charge... of the problem.

i put a sign on it and it was vanished quick smart.

nobody wants to properly face an actual problem.

its so much funner to flail about ineffectually...

until the bins go away.

and people just start throwing their rubbish to the wind on the streets...

we'd so much prefer for things to be that way

 

Re: there's nothing here

Posted by alexandra_k on May 19, 2019, at 10:45:58

In reply to Re: there's nothing here, posted by alexandra_k on May 19, 2019, at 10:40:22

i guess the experiment / answer to my question lies in scalability.

whether the public health star rating people are incompetent or corrupt, i mean to say.

apparently things arent scalable.

so... if the problem is corruption in the public health star rating then throwing more money at them will mean they will scale up. so if they are intentionally promoting bad health then scaling up will mean they will be less effective at promoting bad health.

on the other hand, if it is general incompetence then i presume that would scale up perfectly well.

so...

if the star system gets better with more money thrown at it... it was corruption.

if it does not... it was idiocy.

i guess the government is betting that the problem is corruption.

and throwing more money at corruption helps corrupt the corruption.

or similar.

i mean it makes perfect sense.

amirite?

 

Re: there's nothing here alexandra_k

Posted by beckett2 on May 19, 2019, at 16:16:38

In reply to there's nothing here, posted by alexandra_k on May 18, 2019, at 16:16:15

Can you get someone to ghost write your thesis? Just boil it down to so-and-so's expectations and hand it in to get it passed. I don't know. I hope this isn't insulting. Just to have it over with.

 

Re: there's nothing here

Posted by alexandra_k on May 20, 2019, at 15:18:11

In reply to Re: there's nothing here alexandra_k, posted by beckett2 on May 19, 2019, at 16:16:38

I don't need a ghost writer.

I finished it last September.

Examiners reports came back December.

I said I could get the required changes done within 10 weeks.

The University said they preferred me to take no less than 6 months additional time and as such would be requiring additional payment of fees.

I got the changes done by February 25th.

The University said if I did not pay more fees they would not award me the qualification at all.

I tried to appeal the decision to require me to enrol for 6 months extra time.

They said I could not complete the qualification at all.

I ended up needing to appeal their decision to refuse to re-enrol me (their decision to not let me complete the qualification at all).

They allowed me to pay them additional fees!!

So now we have this quandry...

I made the changes the examiners required by February 15th...

But my enrolment was paid up until May...

But them requiring me to take 6 months additional time means I'm not allowed to re-submit my thesis until July.

So what am I to be doing between end of February and July?

My supervisor managed to say she wouldn't do anything for 2 months (while they were trying to get me kicked out of the University).

Now the other panelist is only going to read a chapter a week or something like that...

And yeah...

Everyone thinks I'm f*ck*ng stupid that I can't get my work done on time and that I'm f*ck*ng stupid it's in the state it's in when nobody has done anything other than their very best to see me failed every f*ck*ng step of the f*ck*ng way.

How to breed a psychopath.

I guess it is a lesson in that.

Why it is that these people do not have access to Medicine.

It's a do unto others kind of a thing.

You see what they do with the power they have got.

This is the trash heap of the f*ck*ng world.

I f*ck*ng hate it here.

I did not ask to be born.

I was only born for the wrong reasons.

I f*ck*ng hate it here.

Awful f*ck*ng lying *ssh*l* f*ck*ng idiots.

 

Re: there's nothing here

Posted by alexandra_k on May 20, 2019, at 15:40:52

In reply to Re: there's nothing here, posted by alexandra_k on May 20, 2019, at 15:18:11

I only enroled in the degree because you have to complete a qualification in the last 5 years to be eligable to apply to medicine.

they say it is to assess present capacity -- but they clearly don't mean intellectual because whether you complete a qualification or study full time wouldn't make a difference to that. i suppose it is more about how many people are not allowed to complete qualifications for various reasons. I think often mostly they are not allowed to complete qualifications because the people in charge of that would rather the people be poor and psychotic. because the people in charge are not that bright and when they see brightness in their students they seek only to destroy it.

asians tend to do somewhat better, here. you see their eyes glaze over... because they are used to not living in a free world. there's a huddling with the herd and pretending to be stupid thing that needs to be done here. is the idea. is the ideal. what they want to select for. 'hey you! this one's unconscious! cervical smear her now or i won't sign you off!' and the appropriate response is 'yes sir!' `whatever you say sir!' `i need to comply with your will sir or you will see me poor and psychotic'

this is a f*ck*d up country, indeed.

we are starting to talk about these things in our New Zealand Medical Journal, now. we can't seem to lose our accreditations fast enough!!!

i only enroled in that degree because i was told i could complete it in time to be eligable to start med 2019. it was a 120 point program of study. typically a single academic year is 120 points. so i worked to a fourth year students timeframe. 9 months of work from me. 3 months of examination. i could have taken up to 10 weeks to get those changes done in response to the examiners report. all i needed was for them to f*ck*ng sign me off and i could have started medicine February 25th of this year.

but they didn't sign me off. they wanted me to pay 2 months more fees. the only reason my enrolment started in May is because they took more time to process my initial enrolment than they are allowed to take (according to their own calendar regulations). I started sending my supervisor work from March -- but they refuse to acknowlege my start date any earlier than May.

When I sent them the thesis in September they tricked me into working on it for 2 more weeks...

Then refused to acknowlege I submitted in September (so they reckon they weren't late examining it)

Then they said they couldn't find a reason NOT to send it to examiners...

Then when the reports came back they said they couldn't award me the qualiflication in less than 1 year of enrolment so they would have to require me to re-enrol for no less than 6 months which means I owe them 2 more months of fees...

They shouldn't be allowed to offer research qualifications. They are not competent / capable of that.

But I have wasted 2 years of my life on it, now, and got myself thousands upon thousands of dollars into debt.

Because I was required to complete a qualification in the last 5 years for med.

And still who knows if they are capable of signing off on whatever arbitrary f*ck*ng changes examiners require this time around, again, nearly 1 f*ck*ng year later.

And now Auckland is saying (they reserve the right to change their entry criterion from year to year) that students normally need to have completed the qualification in minimum time. And that full time status is normally defined as 120 points over an academic year (A and B semester).

So...

They can say I didn't do the 'normally' things so they decided I wasn't eligable to apply for Med. Again.

Last year they decided to really rub salt in the 'haha you didn't get your thesis signed off on you aren't eligable for a place' wound by saying that even if I was eligable I was rank listed 40 places lower than the last offered graduate applicant.

I queried / appealed that.

It turned out they miscalculated my GPA.

They calcualted 8.0 and it is 8.6.

They said 'the information wasn't on your transcript'

But it was on my transcript.

Then they said I might want to think twice about seeking entry into a program of study where the same people who declined my applicatino were responsible for inspiring and motivating students.

This is coming from the Dean of the School of Medicine.

Who was not medically trained.

For what I hope is obvious reason.

Im' not one of their kids and I'm not marriage potential...

And our grades (well, my grades) will not be released by teh Medical School in time for match...

Corruption here is really really really really really really...

I don't see any little pockets of civilisation here...

Up and down this whole f*ck*ng country...

Someone I really respected suggested Otago.

That was why I went there. Seeking...

THere was nothing there.

THere is nothing here.

There is nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing anywhere.

Everything here is ghost written.

And the people in positions of power...

There's nobody home.

 

Re: there's nothing here

Posted by alexandra_k on May 20, 2019, at 15:43:11

In reply to Re: there's nothing here, posted by alexandra_k on May 20, 2019, at 15:40:52

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW is all this just an elaborate ruse to get me feeling *happy* or *grateful* to study philosophy at some 3rd rate US institution solely because it means I get to associate with people who are somewhat bright / at least governed by somewhat intelligent systems??

Philsophy, right

Teh free world

Free to pursue your ends...

Because you might know where your strengths / excellence truly lies.

But no, probably not, other people decide...

Whatever it is that their kids don't particularly want to do / whatever it is that they don't particularly want their kids to do...

I did not ask to be born

 

Re: there's nothing here

Posted by alexandra_k on May 20, 2019, at 18:08:22

In reply to Re: there's nothing here, posted by alexandra_k on May 20, 2019, at 15:43:11

this is why i gave my early work to bob. you can find it when you google.

it stops the people who saw it passing (too much of it) off as their own, down the track.

my ideas.

i see people writing them up getting credit for them.

narrative stuff on the self.
indeterminacy and implications...

and so on...

i know i am a product of my times and i appropriate other people's ideas without realising...

but people do look... guilty. ashamed. embarrassed. at times.

i kind of think... if you make a habit of that... of writing up other peoples stuff... then sure, okay, whatever, that's your reputation in the field...

but they get all the money and i have to cry for welfare handouts.

so...

ideas are easy / come easy / come quickly / there is a flow of them.

it's being forced to think slowly that's painful.

people move onto different things and don't want to talk about their old work because they have moved on.

so people want everyone to think that it's me. that i'm slow. that i can't work quickly. that i'm stuck on teh same old idea.

people wanted me to recycle stuff i wasn't credited for earlier (so they could berate me for old ideas)

they wanted me to write longer (they didn't think i could)

then when i did they wanted shorter

they wanted ideas

no they wanted repetition and repetition and no new ideas only old references

they just want me to be weak and psychotic because it makes them feel somehow better about themselves.

 

Re: there's nothing here

Posted by alexandra_k on May 20, 2019, at 18:18:42

In reply to Re: there's nothing here, posted by alexandra_k on May 20, 2019, at 18:08:22

they wanted the field to be rubbish

they intentionally sought out and marketed to people who didn't speak english well so they could pretend it was their fault for not speaking english better when really the problem was that the ideas presented didn't really make a lot of sense.

they intentionally sought out students who spent all their money on alcohol and dubious fashion choices. students who ate rubbish and were freezing cold at home so they would not produce much quality work if they produced work at all. they wanted to keep encouraging them to feel 'too stressed!' and to seek sick labels and identify with being sick and incompetent. they wanted them to do party and sport and music and anything anything everything except produce a quality work output.

somehow this is supposed to be better.

because students will take 4, 5, 10, 20, their whole lives... they will just keep borrowing to study full time and the university will mop up all that money and the students will hopefully have internalised bad self concept such that they won't realise that the university is not hiring quality people or teaching them anything of quality or helping them improve literacy or helping them produce quality output or helpilng them understand any segment of the world so that they might productively help with that...

the university isn't interested in helping and promoting good people who will go on to succeed in teh world and be benefactors of the university. patrons of the arts and the sports and the cultural products the university produces. subscribers to the university produced journals and publications and buying up the merchandise and investing in scholarships to help identify and promote the next generation...

the university doesn't want or aspire to any of that.

it's the low road to growth. increasing student numbers by keeping slaves. basically. except no work output. they don't even know what to do with their slaves. no productivity. no shared vision. the low road. how low can we go? that seems to be the aim / ideal.

that is infective. scalability...

problems with scalability are problems because organisational copmlexity breaks down. i think. i think that is the idea. this... isn't about organisational complexity.

i don't think it is merely the lack of organisation, however.

it is something about the people.

but it is also something about the leaders. the vice chancellor doesn't seem able to parse his f*ck*ng calendar regulations. i didn't realie that a large part of the role of vice chancellor is the highest point of appeal within the university. guardian of organisational structure, or whatever. i don't know whether heads rolled at auckland or not after my gpa was not calculated corretly / after i was (needlessly) told i was rank order listed incorrectly. i don't know.

but he said in the future all students who are declined entry from a program will be told they have the right to ask why / to appeal the decision to decline them.

this contrasts with otago who says 'no further correspondance will be entered into about the outcome of application' where they refuse to provide reason.

i know i have been declined (e.g., from foundation program) for non-relevant reasons. on teh grounds that the university would make more money from me requiring me to to university level rather than foundation level courses.

when people see me they only see opportunity for themselves always always always at my expense.

good people cannot do business with them.

 

Re: there's nothing here

Posted by alexandra_k on May 20, 2019, at 18:41:07

In reply to Re: there's nothing here, posted by alexandra_k on May 20, 2019, at 18:18:42

i see international news headlines when i am in the gym.

something about some wealthy benefactor paying off some black kids very very very very very expensive student loan on his graduation.

there was some kind of 'and the slave was freed' about it.

it was very well done. that is how to do that.

i appreciate that one does have to be careful on the issue of slavery in the US.

people have talked about graduate students being slaves for some time and it was unclear how... inappropriate... that was. like comparing things to the holocaust or people to hitler... but it is a modern form of slavery. and black people are over-represented.

i just learned (i didn't know this) that there are a higher number of black people in incarceration in the US today than there were enslaved before. of course it is to do with population growth... but that is where things are at.

it is interesting to see how the US deals with stuff like this (when it does deal with stuff like this). because, uh, how the hell else is the rest of the world going to figure out how to do it?

i also learned that 5 per cent of the students from st cuthberts (a wealthy secondary school) go overseas to study at university level.

i don't know that they got scholarship / funded places.

i imagine the deal goes something like 'well, i won't send my kid overseas -- but only if they get into medicine after only 1 year of study'.

that's why those places are taken / it's already decided.

____________

i have been thinking about the heredity thing...

i think i see the worst of it because of the heredity thing. the people who have birth right to personhood in some sense but not particularly bright... so... they have the job that enables their personhood but they don't have prospects for working their way up, particularly. unless they learn to do sh*tty buisness with shitholes.

anyway...

the belief that some people are untouchable because of heredity means people leave them alone. don't try and touch them.

there is a utility in the belief. whether it is true or not. i just meant to say.

i imagine that is it's function, really.

i imagine that heredity actually plays a hell of a lot less of a role than i have a tendancy / habit of thinking that it does.

it is just that i'm stuck at the place where those lowest level people won't let me through. because of their own spite / maliciousness.

my supervisor only suggested the degree becaues she thought i wasn't capable of doing it. she did say to me (a conversation about precisely wehre it was that i lost all respect for her)... she didn't see why i didn't just give up after she managed to delay my initial enrolment for several months. i told her i was already committed (my application was in and you only get two in your lifetime). she did say that i would have more chance of finishing if i listened to her (and submitted it later than my timeline said i was going to). only i had lost all respect for her as a person since she demonstrated she was a f*ck*ng liar and only really interested in stabotaging me... but then submitting it precisely when i said i was going to submit it... then she decided it was something along the lines of her lifetime ambition to have me failed / kicked out of the university for my impertinence / arrogance at thinking i could submit the work whenever i thought it was ready.

teh actual f*ck*ng job description says it is my decision.

the fact she fills out something which requires her to provide her opinion on whether it is ready or not says her opinion doesn't decide when it is submitted.

the job description says something about monthly meetings.

i think i should just limit time spent.

i feel like they tricked me / forced me into staying with them against my will. the only way i could stop them throwing me out was to arrive and basically start saying loudly in the hallways 'you haven't kicked me out yet' and sh*t like that. of course they could hve called security and got me kicked out that way...

you know...

poor and psychotic.

how new zealand prefers to keep me.

suppose i do get into med.

i bet that if i do...

then my welfare payments will suddenly stop.

they'll decide to starve me out.

they are f*ck*ng psychopaths, here.

 

Re: there's nothing here

Posted by alexandra_k on May 20, 2019, at 21:24:02

In reply to Re: there's nothing here, posted by alexandra_k on May 20, 2019, at 18:41:07

It isn't just that they don't give us time to study for the Step exam.

It is firstly that we don't believe in the Step exam.

The basic material about it isn't in the library.

Isn't purchased by it. Isn't available in it.

It is secondly that we don't believe in the steps for learning the content.

We don't do basic science to be followed by basic science for med more particularly to be followed by cases.

Instead we do a jumbled mess of stuff.

Large swathes (important for understanding) missing.

Focus all on the wrong things.

So much irrelevant information about rats and monkeys and f*ck*ng sea horses and f*ck knows what.

I understand it's to try and fill out the curriculum with stuff... Stuff... To keep the kids busy...

But the idea seems to be to make it unlearnable.

All I need from them is to:

1) Let me in.

Hahahahahahaha f*ck*ng 10 years later...

2) Sign me off.

Oh boy oh boy oh boy that gonna be fun.

Then there's the clinical skills thing that (by teh looks of it) requires a total immersion program. I guess to see whether civilisation can be brought to the peoples...

Or maybe that's where the immigrants learn how to be doctor in prison camps.

Well... DOctor... Patient.. What's the diff?

I really don't see civilisation...

 

Re: there's nothing here

Posted by alexandra_k on May 20, 2019, at 21:25:28

In reply to Re: there's nothing here, posted by alexandra_k on May 20, 2019, at 21:24:02

I mean... If people don't know me by now...

 

Re: there's nothing here

Posted by alexandra_k on May 21, 2019, at 2:24:08

In reply to Re: there's nothing here, posted by alexandra_k on May 20, 2019, at 21:25:28

i found the word. finally. legacy. the heredity stuff i've been ranting about most recently. that's the issue. legacy places.

- i take the point about private schools being private. freedom of association. if the take public moneys that somewhat undermines their claim, however. i take the point about family focused and trying to maintain something like a dominant culture. i do. but, again, with the private focus. and people have genuine options (very genuine options) about whether or not they apply to schools knowing the role that legacy plays there and if they feel comfortable joining the school given that.

- when there are legacy places given which involve schools deviating from their objective criteria (e.g., when students are artificially culled from being offered ranked places so lower ranking legacy candidates get places)... when this happens in public institutions... this is simply corruption. there isn't another word for that.

it is nice how some schools say they don't do that. MIT. though with it's affiliation with Harvard and the thing about taking courses at either institution that's somewhat undermining... But it is nice how the school intentionally says that what the school intentionally wants to be is something that doesn't embrace legacy...

But of course... Academic legacy... What school did you go to?? Did they even read my application or just take note of my school?

Whatever...

It does make sense of a bunch of people you meet. Wonder what is so special about them. Who's their Daddy. Of course.

HOw am I supposed to feel about all this / about my situation in life?

Oh yeah, we like our people nearly dead but not quite. Because there's people who make a lot of money off micro-mismanaging them. That's the aim. TO be micro-mismanger of a bunch of non-productive slave-animals.

Tis a wonderful world.

 

Re: there's nothing here alexandra_k

Posted by beckett2 on May 25, 2019, at 23:23:35

In reply to Re: there's nothing here, posted by alexandra_k on May 20, 2019, at 15:18:11

I think I understand more your situation. Like Kafka described, inscrutable bureaucracy :( Unfortunately, it the human condition.


> I don't need a ghost writer.
>
> I finished it last September.
>
> Examiners reports came back December.
>
> I said I could get the required changes done within 10 weeks.
>
> The University said they preferred me to take no less than 6 months additional time and as such would be requiring additional payment of fees.
>
> I got the changes done by February 25th.
>
> The University said if I did not pay more fees they would not award me the qualification at all.
>
> I tried to appeal the decision to require me to enrol for 6 months extra time.
>
> They said I could not complete the qualification at all.
>
> I ended up needing to appeal their decision to refuse to re-enrol me (their decision to not let me complete the qualification at all).
>
> They allowed me to pay them additional fees!!
>
> So now we have this quandry...
>
> I made the changes the examiners required by February 15th...
>
> But my enrolment was paid up until May...
>
> But them requiring me to take 6 months additional time means I'm not allowed to re-submit my thesis until July.
>
> So what am I to be doing between end of February and July?
>
> My supervisor managed to say she wouldn't do anything for 2 months (while they were trying to get me kicked out of the University).
>
> Now the other panelist is only going to read a chapter a week or something like that...
>
> And yeah...
>
> Everyone thinks I'm f*ck*ng stupid that I can't get my work done on time and that I'm f*ck*ng stupid it's in the state it's in when nobody has done anything other than their very best to see me failed every f*ck*ng step of the f*ck*ng way.
>
> How to breed a psychopath.
>
> I guess it is a lesson in that.
>
> Why it is that these people do not have access to Medicine.
>
> It's a do unto others kind of a thing.
>
> You see what they do with the power they have got.
>
> This is the trash heap of the f*ck*ng world.
>
> I f*ck*ng hate it here.
>
> I did not ask to be born.
>
> I was only born for the wrong reasons.
>
> I f*ck*ng hate it here.
>
> Awful f*ck*ng lying *ssh*l* f*ck*ng idiots.

 

Re: there's nothing here

Posted by alexandra_k on May 31, 2019, at 21:43:00

In reply to Re: there's nothing here alexandra_k, posted by beckett2 on May 25, 2019, at 23:23:35

It is corruption, in New Zealand.

Apparently we score really really low on the 'perceived corruption' index. Because people think it is normal / acceptable behaviour. Because people don't query it because they are afraid if they query it they won't be accepted as 'one of them' because being accepted as 'one of them' is what most people aspire to. Becuase people would rather live in a lottery situation than a situation in which hard work is rewarded and so on...

I should have been offered a place in Med from Otago all those years ago. GPA is meant to be the most important thing and my GPA would have been one of the highest of all their applicants. I understand they would have had x and y and z reason as to why my GPA 'didn't count'. But at the end of the day I was not offered the place I should have been offered. They f*ck*ng well offered the place to an Australian who hadn't lived in NZ since she was a kid and who would have been eligable to apply to all the Australian Medical Schools... I did not have 3 heads in interview. I was personable. There was nothing at all to ground their not offering me the place I earned with my GPA.

Last year I should have been offered a place (conditional on my completing eligability requirement prior to classes starting). Instead they decline me a place and inform me my GPA wasn't high enough. My GPA was likely the highest GPA they had seen. They have x and y and z reason as to why my GPA doesn't count...

It is nothing other than corruption.

This year I need to get my MPhil signed off. Only the University will extract the maximum fees they can extract from you. So, you pay for 1 year of fees then they require you to revise and resubmit which requires an additional 6 months of fees to be paid. So that means nobody completes the qualiflication in the minimum time (where a 120 point 1 year qualification only involves your paying 1 year of fees or where a 360 point 3 year qualification only involves your paying 3 years of fees). They always want you to pay for another 6 months.

So then the Medical School people say that since you didn't complete the qualification in the 'minimum time' they won't accept the qualiflication for the purposes of eligability.

So...

Even if I complete the qualification it likely won't count for the purposes of eligability.

None of our graduate research qualifications would count.

Unless...

What???

Is mummy and daddy supposed to charitably donate 6 months of fees to the University so the University doesn't require you to pay 6 months of fees before allowing you to complete?

Is that the idea of our public university??

 

Re: there's nothing here

Posted by alexandra_k on May 31, 2019, at 21:51:23

In reply to Re: there's nothing here, posted by alexandra_k on May 31, 2019, at 21:43:00

And of course Auckland did everything they could to f*ck up my GPA by failing me for a first year population health paper that was advertised as being for students with ability in the arts and social sciences and law...

The grading criterion was very mechanical. They basically wanted you to string together the powerpoint presentation the lecturers had given you. Say nothing new. Just repeat back to them what you heard them say.

Only... This is not science. This is stuff about...

Well...

THis is how we end up with a bunch of incompetents spouting industry agenda only working in 'health promotion' when it comes to nutrition and alcohol and...

the whole idea is:

in order for me to succeed I do not need to pursue success. I only need for my success to be tied to the failure of people whose failure is inevitable.

All those A+ population health students who shall be head of health promotion to serve the interests of the New Zealand public!!

Of course they had to flunk me out of that one.

Which meant I was forced to drop out of the University so as to protect my full-time GPA.

That's how corrupt we are.

 

Re: there's nothing here

Posted by alexandra_k on May 31, 2019, at 22:05:41

In reply to Re: there's nothing here, posted by alexandra_k on May 31, 2019, at 21:51:23

i don't know why they choose to hire non-productive people. none of the people employed by the university have given seminars this year -- presenting their research.

a couple of their grad students have.

3 visiting americans.

nobody from new zealand. nobody from australia. there's nobody here. there's no philosophy research being done in these parts.

how about the undergraduates?

how about presenting their essays as seminars?

let's hear from the 'best' of the undergraduate students...

perhaps the 'best' of the undergraduate students are similarly not producing work that is presentable...

i wonder about the quality of those they flunk out.

in this upside-down and back-to-front-land where only that which is not fit for purpose is paid...

what a f*ck*ng farce.

 

Re: there's nothing here

Posted by alexandra_k on May 31, 2019, at 22:11:42

In reply to Re: there's nothing here, posted by alexandra_k on May 31, 2019, at 22:05:41

so england has this thing about how 'if you are going to select on grounds of equity' (as opposed to GPA one can only suppose they mean) then at least pick the ones who won't bring disrepute to the profession...

speaking out about that which is disreputable is -- bringing disrepute? i wonder if that is what they mean to say...

see...

i would think that it would be disreputable to NOT speak out about that which is disreputable. because it is allowing the disreputable to persist.. to take over.. and (of course) it's not sustainable...

clean up the profession and that will bring less disrepute.

don't accept disreputable people.

don't register disreputable people.

de-register disreputable people.

i guess none of this matters or counts for anything at all in a land where people don't even ask to see the qualifications / registration credentials of someone who presents as doctor (but who likely never trained as one).

it's funny how the philosophy people don't ask questions when it comes to their own healthcaer or the healthcare of the people they love.

it's funny how they don't even try and do research -- when they are researchers -- right?

or just writing down what was on the powerpoint in the essay... just marking off (as obviously correct) the work of the students who do no more nor less than spout back their powerpoints in their essays...

i think the lecturers write their students research instead of their own. the examiner seems to want to write my thesis for me... i think he would likely be less over-involved if he was productive in his own work...

but then he wouldn't have earned 6 months more fees for the university.

i can't believe people choose to have children. some people really seem to like it here. or... they have children for what the children can do fro them.

the government has put out a bounty on disabled childrens heads. wants to grow that population. foetal alcohol syndrome / effects ftw!!!!

sigh.


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