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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rjlockhart on September 27, 2006, at 20:30:48
In class there is this person, well its, its in sociology, we have very indepth discussion about theriories and the news. He is very well referenced, but everytime i say, well i overreacted and wanted to jump across my desk on to him......
we where going to watch a short flick of how this flick relates to sociology, and how the rules apply to it...
I asked is this office space (1999), he said, "how does that relate to socialology" I almost blasted out "i wasnt asking for your opionion" Omg i wished i would of said SOMETHING! i just sat there and let this goddie tussue prep jerk just bash me like that, who is nice to others. In socialoly sometimes i dont know what we are talking about and i will say a comment that doenst relate to this subject. People sometimes are skeptical.
But i on the other hand sometimes just want to, well it was this one perterular person, i swear if he says one more thing, that is insulting to me, i might have to have security escort me out of class. But i dont know really how to self defend myself.
What do i need to do, without, psychially, no im joking... say to this guy, how do i develop a very witty sarcastic input, what do you do. Sometimes i think i am slow minded, i cant think of what to say back other, both in a defence and just socially.
He needs to be put in his place, and also in the past i have been taken atvantage of and said that i was "gay" because i didnt talk, because i was distant. Ugh, god im just kicking myself for not saying anyhting back to him.
Someone help me with some witty comments? you know like generic? like "your not the only one that a brain in this"
Come on, what do i have to do to get a defesive mechimism to say back to others.
Phillipa you are good at this.....
texaschic...racer...ed..curt? ANYONE That i didnt put please say what you think about this.
There is a line in Erin Brockavige (with julia roberts) where she is talk to Ed, she been gone for a week and he fired her, she went directly to him i was going to right a whole danm report... and asked what am i suppost to do check in every 2 seconds.....the sarcastic secretary brenda says... "yes...its called accounability"
She immidatily turns arounds "im not talking to you bitch!"Later brenda she calls her "loverscoral" or something, she says "oh, bite my *ss krispy kreme"
I know this sounds extreme but i need to get a voice! i dont have one.
Help
Matt
Posted by Phillipa on September 27, 2006, at 22:31:09
In reply to How do you develop witty comments, posted by rjlockhart on September 27, 2006, at 20:30:48
Matt do you want to be friends with a person like that. What do others say or do. Love Phillipa
Posted by rjlockhart on September 27, 2006, at 22:40:13
In reply to Re: How do you develop witty comments » rjlockhart, posted by Phillipa on September 27, 2006, at 22:31:09
they are for him, its like he singles me out maybe because i just dont, am not with it at the time, it makes me mad, he so "good" but then makes a comment to me, UGH well i overreacted.
He is not mean or cocky but to me he is. Thats why i wanted to just jump across the chair and attack him.
I think maybe i misuderustmated what he was saying. But i need to work on witty comments.
Matt
Posted by adrift on September 27, 2006, at 22:50:52
In reply to How do you develop witty comments, posted by rjlockhart on September 27, 2006, at 20:30:48
>>I asked is this office space (1999), he said, "how does that relate to socialology"
Could you have said, I don't know, maybe you can explain it to me. Or doesn't anything relating to social interaction relate to sociology?
Most important Matt, is that you try to let things like that roll off as upsetting as they are. once you can do that, the comebacks will be there. If you are feeling attacked, you are less likely to say the "right" thing or what you want to say. Try not to let this guy get under your skin, act like he means nothing to you and eventually he might not.
good luck
Posted by muffled on September 27, 2006, at 22:56:04
In reply to Re: How do you develop witty comments, posted by adrift on September 27, 2006, at 22:50:52
sORRY, i so not good at clever comments....
I usu. just shut up.
Or just be honest and express my reasoning...
If he's being a jerk, yeah, just ignore him.
If you must threaten him, wait until you count to 100, usus the feeling will pass by then...
Muffled
Posted by Phillipa on September 27, 2006, at 23:15:06
In reply to Re: How do you develop witty comments » adrift, posted by muffled on September 27, 2006, at 22:56:04
Muffled you're very good with witty comments. Not mean ones. Love Phillipa
Posted by Deneb on September 27, 2006, at 23:37:08
In reply to How do you develop witty comments, posted by rjlockhart on September 27, 2006, at 20:30:48
I have problems with communicating too. Other people make great jokes and witty comments, but I never do. I guess I'm just not a funny person.
I wish I knew how to solve your problem, but I'm in the same boat.
Posting messages is easier for me because I have time to think over my answer. When I'm talking I have to think on the spot with the person in front of me and I don't think well under those conditions. I can't think when I'm anxious. When I'm working as cashier I can figure out what the change is easily without pressing the subtotal key, but when I'm buying things I can't figure anything out at the cash, even simple stuff like if my purchase was $1.86 I wouldn't think to give $2.01 to get $0.15 back instead of $0.14 cents. I get really stupid in front of people.
Deneb*
Posted by Lindenblüte on September 28, 2006, at 8:57:31
In reply to Re: How do you develop witty comments » rjlockhart, posted by Deneb on September 27, 2006, at 23:37:08
Matt,
sometimes you don't have to come up with a witty comeback. That jerk's actions speak for themselves. No one will begrudge you not defending yourself in class. They will probably admire you because you were controlled enough not to lose your cool. And they will think that he's a jerk, and generally try to avoid getting in his way in a discussion.I have been an instructor for many classes with a discussion group. Inevitably there is one or more harsh discussants, who either hijack the discussion, or belittle their peers, or are just generally antagonistic and stubborn. After a few weeks, people just give them a little space, and don't really give a crap what they say anyways.
So, I think you did EXACTLY the right thing in this difficult situation. Seriously- your comment was relevant to the discussion, even if you didn't manage to defend your ideas to this jerk (you probably couldn't have changed his mind anyways, he's pretty stubborn)
take care, and enjoy the sociology...
-Li
p.s. I only have witty comments about a third as often as I say something completely idiotic or idiosyncratic. Inevitably we are our own harshest critics-- most people won't remember this event for very long at all!
Posted by Lindenblüte on September 28, 2006, at 11:49:39
In reply to I need help socially..... please let this be on pb, posted by rjlockhart on September 27, 2006, at 20:31:54
Note: these are suggestions for things rj can tell the guy in his class. no incivility intended.
good luck rj! hang in there!
"Um, actually, I was asking the whole class, not just YOU."
"Oh, I guess you don't know anything about the show Office Space"
"I guess I was hoping that students in a sociology class had social skills"
"What's your name? Oh _____ nice to meet you, I'm RJLockhart. When I want to ask for your opinion I'll ask you specifically, _____."
"Where have YOU been?"
"I guess I just like to understand how sociology relates to things in my world, like the media. I don't see why this stuff has to stay in books"
"Why are you uncomfortable talking about TV shows? How are we going to have a discussion about this if we cannot talk about the impact of basic sociology theory on real-life situations?"
Posted by curtm on September 28, 2006, at 13:28:16
In reply to I need help socially..... please let this be on pb, posted by rjlockhart on September 27, 2006, at 20:31:54
There is nothing wrong with having a sense of humor in class. It is important that you participate no matter what anyone else thinks about what you say. I don't know if you need validation from other people in order to function, but you have got to stop focusing on that. I see it holding you back from being yourself. Remember the environment you are in (school) is probably full of geeks and nerds that don't have a sense of humor and go home at night and watch sci-fi channel all night long.
As far as the comment he made about your movie joke, "What does that have to do with psychology?" a good comeback would be as simple as telling the truth. How about a reply like, "Nothing. Who said it had anything to do with psychology?" Then chuckle sarcastically.
As you know, getting physical, or even thinking about it, solves nothing. It only creates more problems. If it were me, and this is mischievous advice, but I would sit right behind the guy. He would be very anxious to know why you moved behind him. Maybe even a little intimidated. If he asked me, I would whisper to him, "I wouldn't worry about it." Maybe give the "crazy" eye, too.
I don't take comments from jerks like that lightly either, but don't worry about saying anything. He is trying to get under your skin, and if you come back, then he wins. Don't let him win.
Hope that helps a little.
Curt
Posted by notfred on September 29, 2006, at 19:11:26
In reply to Re: How do you develop witty comments, posted by rjlockhart on September 27, 2006, at 22:40:13
> they are for him, its like he singles me out maybe because i just dont, am not with it at the time, it makes me mad, he so "good" but then makes a comment to me, UGH well i overreacted.
>
> He is not mean or cocky but to me he is. Thats why i wanted to just jump across the chair and attack him.
>
> I think maybe i misuderustmated what he was saying. But i need to work on witty comments.
>
> MattFrom what you say above it seems his question is valid. A good response would be to simply answer the question, showing how this movie is related to the class discussion.
Posted by rjlockhart on September 29, 2006, at 23:11:02
In reply to Re: How do you develop witty comments, posted by notfred on September 29, 2006, at 19:11:26
Let me say im, well i did overreact. He is in a furtunity, thinks well, he is the man.
There is the book called "Verbal Self Defense" which teaches how to react back to someone that is attacking you. Great book.
I've thought really outrages things about what i am going to do the people who directly insult.... but not psychically, i need to develop the sense of confidence and ability to take on someone who an *sshole.
Im glad i didnt jump across on to him. That was the first reaction in my head. If i was on Amphetamine i would have, or really made him look like an idiot who is just trying to get intelligent attention.
I never well, have had any fights here on psychobabble in the last year. I keep it cool. But in the real world its diffrent. I need confidence.
Maybe i just go to a hypnotist and get him to force me to get out there and do it. Stop staying in you "confort" zone.
Thanks everyone.
Matt
Posted by gardenergirl on September 30, 2006, at 0:45:48
In reply to Re: How do you develop witty comments, posted by rjlockhart on September 29, 2006, at 23:11:02
> Let me say im, well i did overreact. He is in a furtunity, thinks well, he is the man.
>
> There is the book called "Verbal Self Defense" which teaches how to react back to someone that is attacking you. Great book.> I never well, have had any fights here on psychobabble in the last year. I keep it cool. But in the real world its diffrent. I need confidence.
>
> Maybe i just go to a hypnotist and get him to force me to get out there and do it. Stop staying in you "confort" zone.So are you saying that in the "real world" you wish you were more likely to actually fight him? And you'd like to find some type of support via a book or a hypnotist to be able to do that?
gg
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