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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Angel Girl on January 12, 2005, at 22:51:37
I feel frustrated and confused. I was expecting replies to questions/comments to several threads to which I did not get. Some were directed to specific posters, who I know have been online because they have replied other posts, others were not directed to anyone in particular.
I don't mean to make others feel put down by my comment but I wanted to state how I feel.
Am I alone in this?
AG
Posted by Angel Girl on January 12, 2005, at 23:02:42
In reply to Frustrated and confused, posted by Angel Girl on January 12, 2005, at 22:51:37
I would also like to add that it makes me feel unimportant.
Posted by Gabbix2 on January 12, 2005, at 23:06:07
In reply to Frustrated and confused, posted by Angel Girl on January 12, 2005, at 22:51:37
>
> I don't mean to make others feel put down by my comment but I wanted to state how I feel.
>
> Am I alone in this?
>
> AGNo you're definitely not alone in feeling that way, I've spoken to so many people who have felt they are personally being shunned at times, and in every single case where I knew the person they thought they were being shunned by I found out they were wrong.
I think it's one of the realities of a board like this, people with depression can tend to be very sensitive to percieved rejection, but on the other hand, sometimes the illness makes it impossible to be in the headspace to reply to every post consistantly. Some posts are just easier to respond to on certain days, and it has nothing to do with who the poster is.
Unfortunately though, I have to say there have been times where I have avoided posting to someone who I know will be hurt if I can't keep up a steady dialogue, not because I don't like them, but because It is too draining to have to keep explaining and apologizing for my absence.
Posted by anastasia56 on January 12, 2005, at 23:23:17
In reply to Re: Frustrated and confused » Angel Girl, posted by Gabbix2 on January 12, 2005, at 23:06:07
hope i wasn't one of them. i try not to be as your threads are interesting and i like to follow them and usually put my two cents in, as usual.
anastasia
Posted by saw on January 12, 2005, at 23:47:22
In reply to Frustrated and confused, posted by Angel Girl on January 12, 2005, at 22:51:37
You are not alone. I have felt like this so many times. I have started many threads that didn't go anywhere or where the subject changed almost immediately. With gentle guidance of my babble friends, I have come to accept that there is nothing personal in this. I have to agree with Gabbi's comments.
You are very important!
Sabrina
Posted by Shortelise on January 13, 2005, at 0:56:34
In reply to Frustrated and confused, posted by Angel Girl on January 12, 2005, at 22:51:37
Sorry Angel Girl. I am sure I am not one of the people to whom you have posted, but I am sorry you feel badly.
There is so much to read here, and I think those who don't spend much time on the site might miss things. I come here for about an hour a day, and I miss things.Sometimes I lose threads, and I don't get back to ones I am following. If someone were to ask me a direct question there, I'd miss it. I think I'd make a new post if it got missed.
Hugs, Angel Girl. Think positive! Roar!
ShortE
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 13, 2005, at 0:58:19
In reply to Frustrated and confused, posted by Angel Girl on January 12, 2005, at 22:51:37
I am sorry and do validate what you have to say here.
> I feel frustrated and confused. I was expecting replies to questions/comments to several threads to which I did not get. Some were directed to specific posters, who I know have been online because they have replied other posts, others were not directed to anyone in particular.
>
> I don't mean to make others feel put down by my comment but I wanted to state how I feel.
>
> Am I alone in this?
>
> AG
Posted by partlycloudy on January 13, 2005, at 6:55:32
In reply to Frustrated and confused, posted by Angel Girl on January 12, 2005, at 22:51:37
I have gone through the same feelings of rejection, AG. Please don't take it personally. Threads do get "lost" in the volume of this place, and I haved missed posts directed at me for days. It doesn't mean that people don't want to hear what you have to say, or that they don't want to engage in a conversation.
((((AG))))
Posted by Angel Girl on January 13, 2005, at 8:57:33
In reply to Re: Frustrated and confused, posted by anastasia56 on January 12, 2005, at 23:23:17
> hope i wasn't one of them. i try not to be as your threads are interesting and i like to follow them and usually put my two cents in, as usual.
>
> anastasiaanastasia
No sweetie, you are not one of them, although I would not like everyone to ask me that question because sooner or later it might get to one of the ones I was referring to. I would not like to make known to whom I'm referring as to not cause them to feel put down. Above all, I have an extremely hard time if I know I'm going to do or say something that will hurt someone, quite often to my own detriment. I agonized for weeks in therapy over the inevitability of having to say something to someone IRL that I knew would be hurtful, but it had to be done for my own mental health. I do know that it is impossible to go through life and never hurt anyone, I mean unintentionally, but it crushes me to know when and if I have.
WOW!!! Thank you for the compliment that you think that my threads are *interesting* and that you like to read them. That makes me feel good as I never think anything I have to say is interesting to anyone else. I guess you have pretty much guessed that I have absolutely no self-esteem. Anyway, you put a smile on my face. :)
AG
Posted by Angel Girl on January 13, 2005, at 9:04:49
In reply to Re: Frustrated and confused » Angel Girl, posted by Gabbix2 on January 12, 2005, at 23:06:07
Thank you for all your kind replies. I'm glad that I am not alone in my feelings. I was extremely hesitant to even start this thread, as I didn't want anyone to feel hurt. Partially, I was referring to 2 different posts directed to 2 separate people, in which they replied me but refrained from answering my questions, even upon asking more than once. If I had not wanted the answer, I would not have asked the questions to begin with.
Also, if I have myself missed replying something from any particular poster who has directed something directly to me, I wish that they would grab my attention again.
AG
Posted by partlycloudy on January 13, 2005, at 9:33:22
In reply to Re: Frustrated and confused, posted by Angel Girl on January 13, 2005, at 9:04:49
you could babblemail them if you're really looking for an answer - but then, some people aren't good about answering emails either.
I have to say that sometimes I stay mute if I can't think of a good answer to a post, and hope that someone else will be able to (not ones directed right to me, but general posts with questions in them).
OK I will shut up now.
Posted by Atticus on January 13, 2005, at 21:38:29
In reply to Re: Frustrated and confused, posted by Angel Girl on January 13, 2005, at 9:04:49
Just give it a little time, Angel, and you'll have more replies than you can answer sometimes. If I ever fail to answer a question raised, I apologize. I have a very non-linear way of thinking, and go walkabout on tangents often because I've somehow free-associated and forgotten where the discussion started. I do this in real life conversations, too; drives people up the wall, but it's not meant to be hurtful. I tend to talk in torrents (my upbringing as an Irish New Yorker has a lot to do with this). Keep on plugging. I sometimes think there's a period of time that people here need to become "comfortable" with someone who's relatively new and therefore a bit of an unknown quantity. I know that sounds a bit wonky, but I've observed it and experienced it before that. Ta. ;) Atticus
This is the end of the thread.
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