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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by lostsailor on January 16, 2003, at 23:23:44
I am an agoraphibic at dr bods and like a wearfolf in london i feel isolated.
Meds, CBT, psychotherapy all have helped me have less ffrequent and intense episode while watchig tv or reading at home but i still only go ount to run and/ bicycle dailt for a ccple of hrs and that is really the only time i feel well.
anyone esle like me out there. this may make me a hypocrite, but I hope not for your sake but if so leave me a message
Posted by Noa on January 17, 2003, at 6:32:40
In reply to lost's lost, posted by lostsailor on January 16, 2003, at 23:23:44
Why would that make you a hypocrite?
Posted by jay on January 17, 2003, at 7:16:52
In reply to lost's lost, posted by lostsailor on January 16, 2003, at 23:23:44
You are NO hypocrite, LS. You need help with the 'bigger picture', that's all. In fact, that's what most of us on here need. I see it as somehow, putting together all of the complicated things (between therapy, medications, and general daily living), and trying to come out with a life that is both bearable and enjoyable.Most of us seem to have lost out on the ability to feel consistent pleasure. (By this, I don't mean a life of 'bliss', but of having a few things happen in the day that really make us happy inside.) I honestly think a lot of it has to do with being in very bad economic times, and stress seems to be up 100's of times over. Add in unemployment, and genral societal 'fear', and I think we are living in times similar to the 'Great Depression'.
I have found something that helps, though (for me, anyhow...but I think it might for others who are feeling 'stuck' after long periods of 'treatment'.) Try to get out into public, at least in very 'tiny' steps. Even if it means just going to the store. Don't overwhelm yourself. When you have at least just *ONE* positive moment, keep track of it, and *don't* let it go from your mind.
I am rebuilding myself from every positive moment I can find, and the rest I just (or *try, anyways..) to forget. Yes I am medicated and in therapy,(and have been for many, many years) and it all *still* feels pretty nasty. I must also suggest, especially for those who have suffered from most psychiatric problems for a *long* time, getting and reading the book "Noonday Demon" . It's not just about insight, it's about combining every part of your treatment and making it work for you.
How and when it *will* all work is another question. But, connecting and rebuilding yourself (using who you where as a person too..because that is important also..), even if you do it over and over, I think is part of the answer..even if only for a few brief moments a day.
Other times...try and get away from looking too deep..and just try to soak up what you can from your environment. If you find *any* happiness whatsoever, do the same thing over, and over, and over again..(as long as it is not self-destructive, or hurts others.)
I don't know if any of that makes sense...as it *barely* does to me. A LOT of reading has helped me, though, and I think it may/has helped others. So, as I suggested, try the book I mentioned above.
I hope there is something in this that helps, even just a bit. If you can, also, I find a bit of faith in compassion (for others and myself) helps. Best wishes, and thoughts are with you.
Jay
Posted by justyourlaugh on January 17, 2003, at 8:27:16
In reply to Re: lost's lost » lostsailor, posted by jay on January 17, 2003, at 7:16:52
hi lost
i havent been in my back yard for over a year:(
i do drop the kids off at school:)
i know i have to change-i didnt know that before.
good luck to you.
how wonderful for you for getting fresh air and exercise everyday!
jyl
Posted by OddipusRex on January 17, 2003, at 9:06:09
In reply to Re: lost's lost » lostsailor, posted by jay on January 17, 2003, at 7:16:52
No you're not alone. Thanks for posting.
Posted by lostsailor on January 17, 2003, at 11:35:25
In reply to Re: lost's lost, posted by OddipusRex on January 17, 2003, at 9:06:09
Thank you all for follow-ups. It seems funny that I went from being a social worker to seeing one. Not working is a real blow to my ego as is the feeling of "watching the wheels go round and round" in the world but not really being a part of it.
I too have read Noonday Demon and recommend it like jay has.
Thanks guys. I know I’m not alone but hearing it sometimes really helps...thanks, too, for doc bob for giving us this forum...gl and talk to you all in a bit.
~Tony
Posted by jay on January 17, 2003, at 18:43:38
In reply to Re: lost's lost, posted by lostsailor on January 17, 2003, at 11:35:25
> Thank you all for follow-ups. It seems funny that I went from being a social worker to seeing one. Not working is a real blow to my ego as is the feeling of "watching the wheels go round and round" in the world but not really being a part of it.
>Hey Tony..I didn't think I was alone, being the "dysfunctional" social worker on this board...hehe!:-) I also agree...that not working takes a major shot at your ego, and even a 'little' bit of pride and such. (Not that I have much of that, lately..heh.) So, we are *really*, never alone. Doesn't seem to make it much easier often, but once in awhile, yep I think it helps.
Hang in...hang on..
Take care.Jay
Posted by lostsailor on January 18, 2003, at 13:51:02
In reply to Re: lost's lost » lostsailor, posted by jay on January 17, 2003, at 18:43:38
I am trying, jay and doing an ok job at it, I guess. Thanks not only to my doc and all of you here, but also from family, friends, and people in a chat room I go to on occasion, my isolated life has broader horizons.
Jay, you are not alone. There is such a high burn out rate in our field that I may choose to only run in it on a vol. basis from now on and when I go back to work find something a little less close to home--e.g. my-self. The one thing I'd o offer to you as advice jay is NOT to self-disclose to others in the agency. As a result of trusting a "friend" at work and her uncanny ability to self-disclose what others tell her, I was told that I was to have a note sent from doc. listing meds and his feeling of my competence in the work place. I even went as far as my supervisor "feeling it best" that my meds were given to me by others staff members although I was still allowed to dispense clients as usual if the nurse were not around.
Doc’s suggestion was very humble and direct: "Tony, this is clear discrimination and you should quit.” He mentioned that this would be a good lawsuit but it would put me thru the “wringer" with embarrassment that we agreed I did not need. lol
~Tony
Posted by jay on January 19, 2003, at 22:57:13
In reply to Re: lost's lostjay, posted by lostsailor on January 18, 2003, at 13:51:02
Hey Tony...I am sorry about your situation, and it's sad you can't even talk to fellow employee without worrying about discrimination being used against you. (Especially in social work, fer crying out loud!)
I've been officially 'unemployed' from the social work field for almost two years, (after 9 or so years in the group-home scene..working with people with brain injuries) and just work at a bunch of odd jobs I have found along the way.
I too am very, very leery of getting back in this field, mostly because of the stress level. I also had a nasty experience leaving my last employer, who didn't give me *any* chance after I had a hypomanic spell. (I had gotten letters from my doctor about my condition..and all's it was over was because I ended up in an argument with a manager, and spoke my mind...believe me I am not an aggressive person, and it really wasn't anything out of the ordinary.)
That was all after giving them almost a decade of being a great employee. The thing that haunts me now is that it was a good chunk of time, and I can't just leave it blank on a resume. So, it's the old double-bind...you know what I mean? Working in a job where there is a lot of mental stress is just *horrid* for mental illness, though, no matter how many meds we are on...or how far we have come along. Better days, though, my friend...and I have found this place and on-line communities REALLY help with feeling a bit connected, where you don't have to worry much about people being judgmental and all.
Take care...
Jay
Posted by noa on January 20, 2003, at 7:24:38
In reply to Re: lost's lost » lostsailor, posted by jay on January 19, 2003, at 22:57:13
I just thought I'd post the links to some posts and threads where the issue of MI in the workplace was discussed. One poster, bob, did file an EEOC complaint after he had told his employer about his depression and asked for reasonable accommodations, which the employer agreed to but then did not deliver, and the employer then started coming down hard on him. I don't think he got satisfaction from EEOC, though. He ended up leaving the job, and seems happier now doing other things. But fyi anyway:
Re: Have you told employers about your illness?
--posted by coral on 16 Oct 2000 to thread 1121
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20001011/msgs/1141.htmlADA info:
http://www.nolo.com/encyclopedia/articles/emp/emp3.htmljust in case you missed this article...
--posted by dj... on 03 Jan 2000 to thread 17884
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000101/msgs/17884.html
Posted by lostsailor on January 29, 2003, at 23:57:09
In reply to Re: lost's lost, posted by noa on January 20, 2003, at 7:24:38
~Sorry for the time lapse,. I never noticed it until now, though.
I never left fired or terminated form the job. I was allowed a resignation the promise that when contacted as a reference, only list dates of employment. I think that is a law anyways though. It's just the "reasonable accommodations " of theirs had me dispensing med and than standing in line for my own minutes later. Doc said that court battle would likely torment me and felt the result would be a guaranteed employment offer from the agency, which I already had by default.
I guess here’s one time I was a martyr for mental health...lol
Thanks , noa...ttyl-
~Tony
Posted by wendy b. on January 30, 2003, at 14:38:22
In reply to Re: lost's lost » lostsailor, posted by jay on January 19, 2003, at 22:57:13
Tony, Jay & others:
I am currently sueing an Ivy-League university where I used to work for violation of ADA workplace statutes.
I have an awesome lawyer, and that helps a lot. In the end, deciding to sue rather than lay down and die was less embarassing than empowering. I mean, who wants to be the poster girl for bipolar? But the university was able to cut off my livelihood and ruin a good career, one that I enjoyed and was good at. It was a mortifying experience being fired and then unemployed... But having these people attempt to explain their actions in front of a jury will be sweet.If anyone wants to email me about my experiences off-list, for info or support, you can reach me at:
margduras at ivillage dot com
(get it?) (Note: it's best to spell it out like this, so your email is un-searchable on google or other search engines...)
Hang in there, Tony...
best,
Wendy
This is the end of the thread.
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