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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by kerria on October 1, 2005, at 12:53:30
Hi Everyone,
i'm sorry if anyone feels hurt because i couldn't write awile ago. i had a terrible migraine that lasted days and afterwards wasn't able to even look at anything to do with what was a topic before. The conflict is too much- it literally made me physically unable. i thought i was going to die, i wasn't able to hold anything down for days which is a bad problem because i need to take a lot of medicine for the severe pain.For about three weeks i wasn't able to see T at all either. Finally yesterday i went but another part came and was there instead, preventing me from talking and the other parts that usually come weren't able to come yesterday either. It feels like i didn't even go. i hate what i remember was talked about and am angry with T for not talking to me. He asked but didn't make the weird blended part that i hate get out of the way.
T is doing supportive therapy because it was too upsetting to really work on communicating with parts. i asked him to do that for now but it was a mistake. It feels like T abandoned me and i wasn't even able to communicate with T.
A part that is like my m. comes and eclipses all of me out, generalizing and blending everything away. i wish i could find a way to stop it from happening, i can't. i remember later and i hate what was said and what i was like:(
It's ok for my mom but not in me.i'm so worried because i just got finished listening to a book on tape "The Joy Luck Club" which was good but scared me and i'm afraid the part like my mother has taken over.
i need to find an identity i need to find a way to get my parts and myself out.kerria:(
Posted by kerria on October 1, 2005, at 16:23:17
In reply to Went to t yesterday without me:(, posted by kerria on October 1, 2005, at 12:53:30
Sorry, i didn't ask- does anyone understand or can anyone relate to feeling not yourself and trying to become real?
It feels so terrible not to be able to connect with T or with anyone else including myself.
Thanks for reading,
kerria
Posted by frida on October 2, 2005, at 15:24:00
In reply to Went to t yesterday without me:(, posted by kerria on October 1, 2005, at 12:53:30
Hi,
I am so sorry you are hurting and feeling not connected to your T..maybe if you print this post to her or you write to her it can help to stay connected? Maybe you can write to her to explain how you're feeling and she can read it in session to help you feel more present and connected?It is very hard for me when I don't feel connected or when I leave my session feeling I wasn't there, I leave and get all desperate and call her, as if i hadn't been there at all.
what helps and gives me relief is to somehow try to connect and communicate to her what I'm feeling or what she's not seeing or i'm not expressing...
reach out....
you are not alone,
Frida
Posted by alexandra_k on October 3, 2005, at 3:42:32
In reply to Went to t yesterday without me:(, posted by kerria on October 1, 2005, at 12:53:30
Hey there :-)
Nice to see you post. I was worried about how you were doing... In hindsight... I can see where you really needed me to back off. At the time... I didn't see that and I'm sorry.
Posted by zenhussy on October 3, 2005, at 12:52:59
In reply to Went to t yesterday without me:(, posted by kerria on October 1, 2005, at 12:53:30
kerria
only last night was able to send you info we spoke of long ago. please respond if you're able.
thinking of you.
__zh
Posted by kerria on October 3, 2005, at 20:20:05
In reply to Re: Went to t yesterday without me:( » kerria, posted by zenhussy on October 3, 2005, at 12:52:59
Thank you frida, Alex and ZH for writing.
Things are so upsetting - away now but so much switching , so much is upsst. H not happy with me , doesn't understandd - i feel so different. we're away now.Talk soon,
kerria
Posted by zenhussy on October 5, 2005, at 11:08:48
In reply to Re: Went to t yesterday without me:(, posted by kerria on October 3, 2005, at 20:20:05
the information will be there for you whenever you're ready.
our prayers for the one sympathetic doc to help with pain mgmt.
keep taking care sweetie.
__zh
Posted by zenhussy on October 8, 2005, at 15:27:18
In reply to Re: Went to t yesterday without me:( » kerria, posted by zenhussy on October 5, 2005, at 11:08:48
Posted by kerria on October 11, 2005, at 0:21:59
In reply to Kerria---check in when you can sweetie (nm), posted by zenhussy on October 8, 2005, at 15:27:18
Hi Zenhussy,
i'm back from being away. Thank you for leaving info. i still need to find it - i'll let you know.
Thanks so much.
take care,
kerria
Posted by alexandra_k on October 11, 2005, at 1:28:49
In reply to Re: Kerria---check in when you can sweetie » zenhussy, posted by kerria on October 11, 2005, at 0:21:59
hey.
nice to see you post :-)
Posted by kerria on October 12, 2005, at 7:22:23
In reply to Re: Kerria---check in when you can sweetie » kerria, posted by alexandra_k on October 11, 2005, at 1:28:49
Thanks Alexandra. i'm trying to come back.
one really good thing, i will post in health forum- finally i have a dx for the physical pain. YES- what a relief. That whole thing has been a nightmare because there was nothing that showed up on all the tests that i had and i have a psych disorder that can have a lot of somatic sx- drs were passing it off as a somatic illness and it was so frustrating and painful because i knew that it wasn't.
Yesterday, after more than a year-and-a-half of constant sharp pain i was dx with pudendal nerve compression. There are treatment options, i hope that i can find one that will help.
Take care.
(((safe hugs)))
kerria
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