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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 60. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dr. Bob on April 3, 2006, at 23:16:54
In reply to Re: Blocked for 2 weeks » Dr. Bob, posted by LegWarmers on April 3, 2006, at 22:51:29
> This thread was highly provocative, to me anyway. I don't think I would have handled this as gracefully as Matt did up until breaking point.
I know it can be easier said than done, but the idea here is for everyone to be civil even if they feel provoked.
Bob
Posted by LegWarmers on April 3, 2006, at 23:25:58
In reply to Re: thread was highly provocative, posted by Dr. Bob on April 3, 2006, at 23:16:54
Did you find that the intial post to this thread was appropriate?
Posted by LegWarmers on April 3, 2006, at 23:28:54
In reply to Re: thread was highly provocative, posted by Dr. Bob on April 3, 2006, at 23:16:54
I should say, did you find it civil that someone post about another poster that way? and then imply information that they had no such knowlegde of? I found the thread really upsetting. not along the lines of what I would call civil. in fact, if that had been about me, I would have been scared.
Posted by Phillipa on April 4, 2006, at 11:26:14
In reply to Re: thread was highly provocative » Dr. Bob, posted by LegWarmers on April 3, 2006, at 23:28:54
The poster was terrified as sent to me in a babblemail. His Mother was there with him and said I would take care of it as she knows I talk with her Son and she trusts me which is why he was angry. And I would be too and scaced as he was caused he had no idea who it was. And did I miss something But I didn't see a please be civel first. Aren't you supposed to be given one first. And I tell my husband to stick his head in the toilet if I'm either a bit angry or joking around. What's so bad about that should he lock me out of the house if I say that to him. Love Phillipa
Posted by wildcard11 on April 4, 2006, at 13:46:58
In reply to Re: thread was highly provocative, posted by Dr. Bob on April 3, 2006, at 23:16:54
not get blocked for demeaning Matt?
Posted by gardenergirl on April 4, 2006, at 15:04:42
In reply to Re: thread was highly provocative » LegWarmers, posted by Phillipa on April 4, 2006, at 11:26:14
> And did I miss something But I didn't see a please be civel first. Aren't you supposed to be given one first.
Clearskies posted a PBC to txtoolgirl: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060331/msgs/627524.html
A friendly reminder was posted from 10derheart to everyone: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060331/msgs/628037.html
And from me: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060331/msgs/628084.html
IMO, both of the above are sufficient warning to all subsequent responses. In addition, if a poster has been PBC’d or blocked in the past, they can be and have been blocked without another PBC when necessary.
> What's so bad about that should he lock me out of the house if I say that to him.
Not everything we say to others in our private lives, either joking or not, is fair game to post here. Heck, I say f*rt to my husband. Without the asterisk. ;)
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on April 4, 2006, at 15:15:10
In reply to then why did txtoolgirl » Dr. Bob, posted by wildcard11 on April 4, 2006, at 13:46:58
I think your question is valid. However, since one of the civility guidelines is to not post anything that could lead others to feel accused, would you please rephrase your question?
Alternative ways to express yourself can be found in the FAQ: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
Thanks,
gg acting as deputy for Dr. Bob
Posted by wildcard11 on April 4, 2006, at 15:20:27
In reply to Please rephrase » wildcard11, posted by gardenergirl on April 4, 2006, at 15:15:10
i was wondering why the poster that Matt replied to and got blocked did not receive a block also for their posts?
Posted by gardenergirl on April 4, 2006, at 15:35:55
In reply to Re: Please rephrase » gardenergirl, posted by wildcard11 on April 4, 2006, at 15:20:27
Posted by Phillipa on April 4, 2006, at 16:15:09
In reply to Please rephrase » wildcard11, posted by gardenergirl on April 4, 2006, at 15:15:10
See gg you say you are acting as deputy for Dr. Bob. l0der love that girl and Clear Skies so that sky is clear for her now both say thay are not official deputies. You don't say it either just that you are tired and want to leave very understandable. But where do you look to see who is acting as duputy if not stated. I know you all say it is up to Bob in the ultimum. but I think a lot of people are starting to fear that if they whisper a peek they will get blocked. I know a lot of others are checking out other sites and the rules as well. Maybe Deneb was right about a problem of his own. Love Phillipa Demeaning : to lower in character or quality, to debase in dignity or structure from the dictionary.
Posted by LegWarmers on April 4, 2006, at 16:20:56
In reply to Re: thread was highly provocative » Dr. Bob, posted by LegWarmers on April 3, 2006, at 23:28:54
maybe I am just impatient.
But IMO that thread was a violaion of Matt's privacy via this website and no one did anything to say, stop talking about a frequent poster who we know ....??How would others feel if someone wrote "XXX is on suicide watch" And implied having insider information??
Am I totally off base here?
Posted by LegWarmers on April 4, 2006, at 16:24:03
In reply to I feel ignored, posted by LegWarmers on April 4, 2006, at 16:20:56
I do recall another poster being provoked by someone and other posters came into the thread and said, "hey, ignore this".
It is perfectly obvious that this site is very important to Matt and this poster was very clear about what they wanted, Matt not to post here anymore. So... I guess the outcome worked in thier favor. Too bad for Matt : (
Posted by Phillipa on April 4, 2006, at 17:29:59
In reply to And to add, posted by LegWarmers on April 4, 2006, at 16:24:03
Yeah I'd hate to think that someone posted things about me that I had not reveled to the friends on babble. or made up stuff about me. It's possible someone could do that and who would know who to believe. I'd go with person I had babble with a lot. Love Phillipa
Posted by gardenergirl on April 4, 2006, at 18:25:35
In reply to Re: Please rephrase » gardenergirl, posted by Phillipa on April 4, 2006, at 16:15:09
> But where do you look to see who is acting as duputy if not stated.
The current deputies are Auntie Mel, Dinah, and me. You can contact any of us or Dr. Bob by email with questions or concerns if you do not wish to post the question to the board for whatever reason. Additional information about deputies can be found in the FAQ: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#deputies
As noted above in the thread about new deputies, Clearskies, 10derheart, and Racer are currently in the process of being selected for two new deputy positions. I believe that clearskies signed her post as "not-deputy" (or something similar) to clarify that status, although she can better address that. I'm sorry if it's confusing that I sometimes sign my deputy posts as "gg acting as deputy for Dr. Bob" and sometimes I don't. I try to always do this when I post a PBC or block, but it doesn't seem as critical when I'm doing more general things such as redirects.>I know you all say it is up to Bob in the ultimum. but I think a lot of people are starting to fear that if they whisper a peek they will get blocked.
I'm not aware of any changes to the rules of the site, but I am aware that not everyone agrees with the rules as they are. I don't agree with all of the either, but I agreed to abide by them and to apply them when acting as a deputy.
>Demeaning : to lower in character or quality, to debase in dignity or structure from the dictionary.
Thanks for clarifying that. It indeed would not be considered acceptable under the civility rules to accuse someone of or imply that someone "debase[d] in dignity or structure" someone else with their post.
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on April 4, 2006, at 18:28:58
In reply to I feel ignored, posted by LegWarmers on April 4, 2006, at 16:20:56
I'm sorry you feel ignored. I've brought a similar concern to Dr. Bob and the other deputies for discussion.
gg
Posted by LegWarmers on April 4, 2006, at 18:54:45
In reply to Re: I feel ignored » LegWarmers, posted by gardenergirl on April 4, 2006, at 18:28:58
> I'm sorry you feel ignored. I've brought a similar concern to Dr. Bob and the other deputies for discussion.
>
> ggThank you for responding. I was starting to feel like something was missed.
Bob Im not sure you understand the severity of what happened? But blocks aside, because according to the civilty rules, yes, Matt broke that. *But* he was provoked by someone who implied to have inside information on him! So it would be equivalent to someone posting on this site that they new where you, as in Dr. Bob, were last night. And you can sure as h*ll bet Id be on an uncivil rampage if something like that happened to me on here, And it would have started after the first post, and it would continue until *you* assured me of my safety in some way. ie. check the posters IP address and let me know that it is not coming from anywhere close to me... you get the drift, yeah?... and I apologize if you did that already. But as teenager on an internet site of predominatly adults who he has known for at least a few years now, doesn't that mean anything? I know don't feel safe right now.
And RE: his comment, I jsut read something on psych that got a pbc that in comparison to Matt's comment looks like it should have been a block. But... I'm generally in a state of confusion...
And I would be more than happy to take Matt's block on and you are welcome to double it, or even triple it! I feel so uneasy that he is the one being punished by this situation when my initial reaction to him was, "why aren't you getting angry?", and I thought, good on you, Matt for being so diplomatic and calm. But nothing happened, no one stepped in. So give me his block, I understnad someone needs one, but not Matt.
Posted by LegWarmers on April 4, 2006, at 19:04:41
In reply to Re: I feel ignored Bob » gardenergirl, posted by LegWarmers on April 4, 2006, at 18:54:45
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060331/msgs/628003.html
In time I will reveal who I am?? Bob before my head falls off I do hope to get a response. And I meant what I said about the block. Civilty to me, means sticking up and protecting someone in your community, ie. the civil babble community. Sorry, but Matt is someone who IMO didn't deserve to be left high and dry and thats how I see it.
Thanks
Posted by Phillipa on April 4, 2006, at 19:43:30
In reply to this gave me chills, posted by LegWarmers on April 4, 2006, at 19:04:41
I'll take his block too. He needs us and he handles him self so well now. Is there anyway for me to forward Matt's babblemails there were two to one of you I have them in his file. Love Phillipa ps I think they would clarify things and I do know Matt he won't mind it would make him happy. And he is so delicate right now. this could tip it for him. He just managed to get over addictions and work things out with others on pbabble and he's being punished???????? Please E-mail me if I can forward them to a deputy or sometone? Please? Babble me and I'll send my address if the deputies don't have it. I have one of them. Love Phillipa ps I do consider myself Matt's second Mom. He tells me a lot in private.
Posted by wildcard11 on April 4, 2006, at 19:45:23
In reply to Re: this gave me chills » LegWarmers, posted by Phillipa on April 4, 2006, at 19:43:30
Posted by Racer on April 4, 2006, at 20:06:26
In reply to Re: this gave me chills » LegWarmers, posted by Phillipa on April 4, 2006, at 19:43:30
> He needs us and he handles him self so well now.
I know Matt is well liked, and this has nothing to do with liking or not liking him myself -- this is ONLY about his behavior on that thread.
I agree that Matt was reacting to a number of posts which many reasonable people would find provocative, but Matt has been here long enough to know the rules. The rules say that, no matter how provoked one feels, one must respond within the letter and the spirit of the civility guidelines. Matt made the choice to respond beyond that threshold, and he was blocked. The consequence of the choice he made to react before thinking is his current block. While it is unfortunate that it's happened, maybe he'll make a different choice next time.
And let's remember something about "needing" Babble: most of us could function without Babble, but not without real time help from doctors, therapists, friends, etc. That doesn't mean that we don't all benefit from this place, it only means that Matt will survive a break. Maybe this time off will be when he goes out and finds that real time help he needs?
OK. I'm done. This wasn't meant to hurt anyone's feelings, and I hope that it hasn't. I just want to express another viewpoint.
Posted by LegWarmers on April 4, 2006, at 20:15:23
In reply to I disagree » Phillipa, posted by Racer on April 4, 2006, at 20:06:26
> > He needs us and he handles him self so well now.
>
> I know Matt is well liked, and this has nothing to do with liking or not liking him myself -- this is ONLY about his behavior on that thread.
>
> I agree that Matt was reacting to a number of posts which many reasonable people would find provocative, but Matt has been here long enough to know the rules. The rules say that, no matter how provoked one feels, one must respond within the letter and the spirit of the civility guidelines. Matt made the choice to respond beyond that threshold, and he was blocked. The consequence of the choice he made to react before thinking is his current block. While it is unfortunate that it's happened, maybe he'll make a different choice next time.
>
> And let's remember something about "needing" Babble: most of us could function without Babble, but not without real time help from doctors, therapists, friends, etc. That doesn't mean that we don't all benefit from this place, it only means that Matt will survive a break. Maybe this time off will be when he goes out and finds that real time help he needs?
>
> OK. I'm done. This wasn't meant to hurt anyone's feelings, and I hope that it hasn't. I just want to express another viewpoint.
I agree with most of it, but in this case, the circumstances were a little diffenret IMO. If someone posted that they new something about *you* how would you react, and then how would you react if the entire community continued to talk about you as this person continued with this idea that htey have info about you. Its just different then the few others situations Ive seen regarding blocks and provocation. It was too personal.
Posted by Phillipa on April 4, 2006, at 20:20:25
In reply to I disagree » Phillipa, posted by Racer on April 4, 2006, at 20:06:26
Me too. I agree he needs help in real life. He sees a pdoc and was in out pt rehab now he does need a therapist. So I have a pdoc you have a pdoc I have a therapist you have a therapist we both come here often. So maybe they are both places we all need. And if I could I would forward his Babblemails to you that he sent me immediately before he posted .And I feel remember it's and I feel I that saying stick your head in a toilet is not uncivil as I stated in another place I've said this more than once to my husband. Love phillipa ps his mom has e-mailed me and thanked me for supporting Matt.Oh I have copies of them too in my files which I could also forward but can't does someone else want them forwarded to them? Matt gave me permission to.
Posted by Phillipa on April 4, 2006, at 20:23:21
In reply to I disagree » Phillipa, posted by Racer on April 4, 2006, at 20:06:26
This would not be considered posting for a blocked poster cause an e-mail address is something private and not involved with this site. Please correct me if I'm wrong but I did work as a malpractice nurse in court.Love phillipa
Posted by Dinah on April 4, 2006, at 20:25:45
In reply to Re: I disagree » Racer, posted by Phillipa on April 4, 2006, at 20:20:25
Philippa, you can't judge what's civil on this site by what you say to someone you know well and have an intimate relationship with.
This is a different situation and the civility rules are based on an internet forum with no other signals but words, and on the understanding that people may not know each other well.
If you were talking to someone you met at a party, would you tell them to go stick their head in a toilet? How would you take it if someone you met at a party told you to go stick your head in a toilet?
Posted by Racer on April 4, 2006, at 20:55:21
In reply to Re: I disagree » Racer, posted by LegWarmers on April 4, 2006, at 20:15:23
> > >
> I agree with most of it, but in this case, the circumstances were a little diffenret IMO. If someone posted that they new something about *you* how would you react, and then how would you react if the entire community continued to talk about you as this person continued with this idea that htey have info about you. Its just different then the few others situations Ive seen regarding blocks and provocation. It was too personal.
>First of all, I have experienced something a little similar on another site, where someone posted something about me that really felt like an invasion of privacy. I'm not unsympathetic to Matt's side of it.
And I thought about posting at the time that a lot of issues in that thread could be ignored for Matt's benefit. I'm rather sorry I didn't.
The bottom line, however, remains the same. Matt chose to post what he did. That post was beyond the bounds here. Matt was blocked.
Look at it this way: even if everyone else in a thread writes something uncivil, each of us has the choice of whether or not we do so as well. And we're all responsible for our own choices.
But, again, this was a very unfortunate incident. I agree that many people would find it quite provocative -- heck, I would have found it quite provoking, myself. I really do have sympathy for Matt. Nonetheless, he chose to write what he did.
Agree to disagree?
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