Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 1110010

Shown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

a back glymps

Posted by rjlockhart37 on May 8, 2020, at 1:25:28

yestuday, i was so depressed, but not this kinda of depression where you feel down, im talking where you just in tbe bed, in the deepest sorrow, or feeling. It's hard to describe, like people in mental hospitals who litterly have depression so bad, they can't leave. It's like you don't feel, but combined with sadness, more than the word. I was thinking about my family, i had a great childhood, there was hardly anything about it that was truama, but in school i did horrible in sports through the 6th grade, and i fell behind disappointed people, got made fun of. And was thinking in deepest feeling of failure, not being invited to birthday parties, you know just little junk feelings, but you think about them in own time, in the bed. Then my family posted pictures, of events that i was never invited too, they have fun my brothers, but they never invite me, even if did, i would feel this shady feeling. Like great seeing you, then tend to not want to regularly hang out. More like a one time event. And....this was not causing depression, the depression was causing me to think things. I'm sayin those people in mental hosptials who are so depressed they just sleep and get up and don't want to be awake. It's hard to describe more indpeth because you do feel a pain, but its strongest feeling of depression, you get up and just ... exist.

So, i'm back to normal, went through a true depression event, being so depressed you can't....you have to stay in bed, nothing stimuation from tohe outer world would make you cheered up. If i was during that none of this posting would matter, none of it. I would not post, and be sorrowed in the bed, waking up to gloom.

People write about depression, but that real glmps of what is was, even on prozac. Without prozac, i would only be on prayer to god to keep me going.

what is your most ... deep depression, deepest times, do you just feel like staying in bed, and being sorrowed even by laying down (don't use this post as a trigger, to reexperince, just want to know stories and hard times)

 

Re: a back glymps

Posted by rjlockhart37 on May 8, 2020, at 1:33:56

In reply to a back glymps, posted by rjlockhart37 on May 8, 2020, at 1:25:28

it's the feeling that can't be described

 

Re: a back glymps

Posted by rjlockhart37 on May 8, 2020, at 1:53:55

In reply to a back glymps, posted by rjlockhart37 on May 8, 2020, at 1:25:28

i've gotta stop blogging these depression events, we talk and discuss about medications here, and support and advice. This is not a sad, story for people to read. I just pulled up babble, and just went straight to the write a post button and wrotte it without thinking, then realized what just posted. Like a automated post of thought.

These posts, i guess i posted, i dont have much to talk too, so post here. That's why its so indepth because its all bottled in.

I do think just continue to street advice and help with medication questions, but i can't blog this anymore.

 

Re: a back glymps

Posted by rjlockhart37 on May 8, 2020, at 1:55:37

In reply to Re: a back glymps, posted by rjlockhart37 on May 8, 2020, at 1:53:55

but main point: what is your most severe depression episodes you have had?

 

Re: a back glymps

Posted by undopaminergic on May 8, 2020, at 7:49:43

In reply to a back glymps, posted by rjlockhart37 on May 8, 2020, at 1:25:28

>
> what is your most ... deep depression, deepest times, do you just feel like staying in bed, and being sorrowed even by laying down (don't use this post as a trigger, to reexperince, just want to know stories and hard times)
>

I think my deepest depression was early on in the first year or two of the 2000s. I was lying in bed crying with feelings of worthlessness.

However, in some ways, that was better than the combination of anxiety and apathy. I hate the apathy, but I handle it well after I lost the anxiety.

-undopaminergic

 

Re: a back glymps

Posted by undopaminergic on May 8, 2020, at 7:52:14

In reply to Re: a back glymps, posted by rjlockhart37 on May 8, 2020, at 1:53:55

>
> I do think just continue to street advice and help with medication questions, but i can't blog this anymore.
>

Why don't you start a real blog, or even just a diary?

I keep a diary.

-undopaminergic

 

Re: a back glymps

Posted by rjlockhart37 on May 8, 2020, at 22:58:15

In reply to Re: a back glymps, posted by undopaminergic on May 8, 2020, at 7:49:43

i think real depression, its more than apathy, it's like ... being in bed. When grandmother was in a nursing home, back in 2005, i was there in unit with her visiting. Her memory, she had dementia, and we used as many medicaitons. You can't stop dementia. But there was this older woan who came out of her room, she walked in this hopefulless manner, filled with ... can't describe exactly, and she sat down and just stared, and one of the nurses came over to confort her, she said don't ... there's nothing you can do, she did lay on the nurse and cried, it was in this manner like pure hopefulness, that everything was gone. It was just that seeing that pure hopelessnes in her, crying with no emotion but hopelessness. She was around mid-late 80s. That was most thign i've seen. It's just....you feel pure hopelessness, that nothing will help, everything is done with.

See her cry in just this pure hopelessness, it was really painful too see.

I've had similar, that's why, but i really ... when you get that down, no support group, person, anything feels it will help. Hopelessness.

I keep inside, it's a hidden emotion i never tell anyone. Exept this board, under this screen name.

I think in those kinda of cases, most powerful antidepressant, like parnate, even that sometimes does not help. Like rake in some dexamphetamine which they don't use much for severe depression. Plus the crash, then worse depression.

Apathy i think is numb pain, or just you feel....apathy, see greyness, like being in a abandoned house in the middle of the woods on a grey rainey day.

but thanks at least im not alone, thanks you for response :)

 

Re: a back glymps

Posted by rjlockhart37 on May 8, 2020, at 23:17:26

In reply to Re: a back glymps, posted by rjlockhart37 on May 8, 2020, at 22:58:15

that and yeah having no feeling, but lay in bed, in sorrow, or nothingness.

This is kinda deep to talk about. But that's versions of sadness/depression i've seen


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