Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 1109865

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these days...

Posted by rjlockhart37 on April 28, 2020, at 21:01:06

i've been pretty depressed, but don't let it slow down, i do stuff online manage a few websites, class, not much, mostly career i've had a paranoia that i would spend all this college moeny, and get a job and not rerember any of it. Today, not even today, i forget so many things, small errors turn into big problems, thats all i can say. I'm being honest, i've always been wellknown for losing my keys, and memory issues, it's, i guess its a medical thing that hasnt got a name to it. I was trying to put a vacuum roller brush on last night, right when i started i knew exactly what i was doing and fixed and put it together, i turned it on, there was too loud noise, saw that one of the adjusters was not alinghed and right after it was like.....i forgot all of how decontruct it. It's happened with other things, its like i get going and then lose memory. Anyways, don't want people to know theis my problem, under a screen name.

I'll be doing good on things, and then have a memory warp, and forget what i was doing. Even stimulants, don't treat it. I'm more motivated and aggressive on amphetamine, but it makes me more aggressive then didn't solve the problem. Sober state - trouble following diretion, have to be told what to do. Amphetamine/armodafnil state - more alert and aggressive to do it, but sometimes i still screw up.

Just like all these things that screw up on my own, you know ... no one to call, i have 1 friend i can vent too, but i have deal it. It sucks. Do a jump into a political capmain and do advertising or ebing supportive. I orignally in 2005 wanted to be an investor.

Not sure where fate turns someone to go....depression because of a disability, even socially. You know, there's this thing called indominable will, spartan mindset. When i go to oscials or gatherings, i don't why....its like people avoid me, because im too intense in conversations, too much forr them so they mingle away. Plus feel awkward and tend to leave early, that wonderful relief feeling leaving a social.

anyways, i just had to rrant that out, before i get too depressed to not write anything, ill get so depressed i can't even, just feel like exisiting.

alright had to rant that....thanks for reading, im hope you know a bit more about me, have a spartan mindset, and be who you are and don't forget it

logging off....

 

Re: these days...

Posted by rjlockhart37 on April 28, 2020, at 21:13:27

In reply to these days..., posted by rjlockhart37 on April 28, 2020, at 21:01:06

just like that energy, i've found out when your with people, there's like this energy and if its not good, they leave, my cat does the same thing .... i didint want her on my bed, and started having a resistance, she got down and has been avoiding me. You know it is like an energy, or vibes...stupist thing i ever wrote, my cat used to love me now she has vibes and avoids me hangs out with someone that lives here. She would lay and cuddle, now she cant stand me. I havent done anything to, but its the vibes you can feel from people. Just by being in room with them. You can talk and laugh, but you feel that vibe and tend to move away.

That's how it is for me, ... i leanred it from that example, my cat, she used love me and cuddle, then i started getting irrtated because i was working on projects online, kinda had a reistance. She doenst interact or anything. It's vibes. So i don't know why i wrote that but thats something to know. Learn how to change vibes and them good, and not strange to people

 

Re: these days...

Posted by rjlockhart37 on April 29, 2020, at 17:48:58

In reply to Re: these days..., posted by rjlockhart37 on April 28, 2020, at 21:13:27

im depressed....i'm here in my room, you just don't listen to the hoplesss feeling because its not true, but sometimes i get so depressed, i can't work correctly, nuerotransmitters are firing enough. I feel alone, but you know can't go by hopeless feelings, because there always is someway to get out of it. Hopefully this is only a screen name, but i mostly post what i feel here on babble. Wake up and feel the feeling of being awake, but then just feel existing

 

Re: these days... rjlockhart37

Posted by Jadde on April 30, 2020, at 8:11:05

In reply to Re: these days..., posted by rjlockhart37 on April 29, 2020, at 17:48:58

> im depressed....i'm here in my room, you just don't listen to the hoplesss feeling because its not true, but sometimes i get so depressed, i can't work correctly, nuerotransmitters are firing enough. I feel alone, but you know can't go by hopeless feelings, because there always is someway to get out of it. Hopefully this is only a screen name, but i mostly post what i feel here on babble. Wake up and feel the feeling of being awake, but then just feel existing
>
>

Hey there, sorry youre feeling poorly. I sure know that struggle of feeling hopeless but trying to convince yourself that its not real. Its a tough battle. But I read your posts and it seems like you tough it out and are able to accomplish a lot! When Im really depressed, I dont get anything done. So try to be proud of yourself.

And by the way, I have a family member who is probably around your age. She loses things, is clumsy, and can be socially awkward (her words). It is all part of her charm! So own it :)

Hope you feel better soon, Jade

 

Re: these days...

Posted by Lamdage22 on April 30, 2020, at 13:21:41

In reply to Re: these days... rjlockhart37, posted by Jadde on April 30, 2020, at 8:11:05

Man, I can be forgetful, too. Always have been, but Antipsychotics made it a bit worse. Someone from University doing quality control called me and gave me four options of answers and I had to choose one. I couldn't because I forgot the other 3!!! No point in repeating.
This kind of thing can become embarrassing!

I told them they caught me in the middle of exercise. Half-truth!


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