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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Spriggy on March 6, 2005, at 12:35:59
Anyone have advice on how to approach your doctor as if you arent' second guessing them (when in fact you really are?).
My doctor seems a little sensitive lately when I mentinon with that "big" doctor's up at the capitol hospital said.. Almost like, " hey, I'm the doctor here and I know what I'm doing."
Especially when the advice my doctor is giving me about medicine contradicts the advice from doctor's who have waaaaay more experience than she does.
Actually the doctor I see is the nurse practitioner. I am considering asking this week to go directly in to see the DOCTOR.. not the nurse.
Maybe I will have better luck with him. Besides, once when I saw him for allergies, he told me I looked "nice."
Maybe I could use that in my favor. tee hee..
I guess I am new at being so proactive. I suppose I should just come out and say, " I will not take this Depakote but I would like to try Lamictal."
Is that too straightforward??
Posted by NealMcCoy on March 6, 2005, at 15:26:09
In reply to How to not second guess your dr. when you DO, posted by Spriggy on March 6, 2005, at 12:35:59
No, there is nothing wrong with being straightfoward and asking for a med. Considering all of the research you've done and all of the opinions you've been given by others. Besides, doctors usually have no problems taking recommendations and then giving you those meds. It's not like you are going to go sell them on the street or get high on them lol.
By the way Spriggy. Turn on your babbelmail. I wanted to write you and ask you a few things..
-Neal
Posted by Phillipa on March 6, 2005, at 17:30:25
In reply to Re: How to not second guess your dr. when you DO, posted by NealMcCoy on March 6, 2005, at 15:26:09
Go for it Spriggy! Tell him your Dad had success on it and that's what you want to try. Tell him you know all about the rash. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by alexandra_k on March 6, 2005, at 19:26:04
In reply to How to not second guess your dr. when you DO, posted by Spriggy on March 6, 2005, at 12:35:59
IMO nurse practitioners tend to have slight inferiority complexes when it comes to Dr's...
Is one of those allowed to change your medication, or do you need to talk to a doctor about that anyway?
Nobody likes to have what they say or think second guessed. But in this instance YOU are the one that has to live most intimately with decisions that are made. You have every right to have a say in your treatment.
I would say that you would prefer to go on that other med. Maybe write down the reasons why you think it might be better for you. Then they should be able to tell you about their reservations / reasons why they don't think it is a good idea (if they don't think it is).
Good luck.
Posted by alohashirt on March 6, 2005, at 19:32:46
In reply to How to not second guess your dr. when you DO, posted by Spriggy on March 6, 2005, at 12:35:59
Managing your doctor is like managing an insecure boss at work.
Everything needs to be their idea. It would be unrealistic and unhelpful to assume that assertive open conversation is always the right approach. Imagine being a pdoc - You're the kinfd of doctor that other doctors think isn't a real doctior and you work with illnesses that may or may not exist and teh treatments are medications that seem to work for reasons we don't understand or therapy that seems to be effective regardless of the truth of its underpinning theory. And the world assumes you're the Nutty Professor. I think you're smart to be thinking hard about this.Come up with a question whose only answer is the med that you are interested in testing:
"Are there any drugs related X that don't have effect Y?"
Posted by alexandra_k on March 6, 2005, at 20:28:01
In reply to Re: How to not second guess your dr. when you DO, posted by alohashirt on March 6, 2005, at 19:32:46
Oh that is brilliant :-)
Well done you ;-)
Posted by alexandra_k on March 6, 2005, at 20:29:27
In reply to Re: How to not second guess your dr. when you DO » alohashirt, posted by alexandra_k on March 6, 2005, at 20:28:01
Only trouble is it may be a little tooo brilliant... They may not know the answer and then they are left looking stupid. And if they make up an answer you can't tell them they are wrong without implying that either a) they are a liar or b) they are imcompetant...
The ego can be a fragile thing...
Posted by Maxime on March 6, 2005, at 23:15:04
In reply to Re: How to not second guess your dr. when you DO, posted by NealMcCoy on March 6, 2005, at 15:26:09
There is nothing wrong with being direct and asking for what you want and backing it up with a reason. As I mentioned in my email to you, there are several reasons why Lamictal would be a good choice for you. Also bring in any articles you may have as I find this helps as well.
Sometimes doctors will surprise you and actually listen. I think it is important to remain calm. If your doctor does not agree then you use your trump card. "Then I would like to receive a second opinion please".
And I am saying the following in all seriousness. Threats work very well also. You can tell your doctor that you will resort to ordering medication on the internet if you have to. (Dr. Bob please do not rap my knuckles for suggesting this approach). Of course you aren't going to do that but if you say that you will, then your doctor will realise that you are serious about wanting to try this med and that he cannot allow this to happen under his care. Of course this can backfire and he may drop you as his patient. But usually it opens their eyes and gets their egos out of their "you know what". I have used this approach twice and it has worked.
It is not as if you are trying to get opiates or stimulants. You simply want to try another mood stabiliser.
It's awful to look at this way, but you are a customer and he must serve you (withing reason of course).
If you are really nervous about it, write out a script of what you are going to say before hand.
This is how I finally managed to get on an MAOI. It was my first appointment with a pdoc (this was when I was living in the U.S. for 8 months) and I walked in and I didn't wait for him to ask any questions. I briefly told him my history and said I wanted to try Parnate and why. The first 4 doctors said no and the 5th said "I agree with you 100 percent. I have used MAOIs with great success and I believe you are a perfect candidate". I wept.
Good luck to you. Try to imagine all of us here from Psycho-Babble standing beside you during this appointment. You will outnumber him! ;)
Hugs,
Maxime
Posted by gromit on March 7, 2005, at 3:15:41
In reply to How to not second guess your dr. when you DO, posted by Spriggy on March 6, 2005, at 12:35:59
> Maybe I will have better luck with him. Besides, once when I saw him for allergies, he told me I looked "nice."
>
> Maybe I could use that in my favor. tee hee..I know you were joking but hey, you might as well use it to your advantage. I have always had good luck with older female doctors.
> I guess I am new at being so proactive. I suppose I should just come out and say, " I will not take this Depakote but I would like to try Lamictal."That is the way I got on Lamictal, I just flat out told him "I'm not going to take this **** (Depakote) anymore", those exact words. I did the same thing with Lexapro except I had already stopped taking it. I guess it depends on the doctor, asking mine for a change just doesn't work. Both times he was very agreeable and not angry at all, which shocked me. I know it can be hard to stand up for yourself, it's new for me too, but what do you have to lose?
Rick
Posted by Spriggy on March 7, 2005, at 18:02:20
In reply to Re: How to not second guess your dr. when you DO, posted by gromit on March 7, 2005, at 3:15:41
My husband has offered to go with me and tell them what I want, but I feel like a 5 year old.
I think I am waaaaaaaay too concerned about hurting other's feelings. Which is some of the reason I struggle with this anxiety/depression to deal with. I feel like I have to please the world.
Anyway, another story for another therapists. ROFL
I will take ALL your advice and then be a BIG GIRL and just say, " I don't like the Depakote and I would really like to Try the Lamictal. It works well for my dad."Is that sooo hard??
No,not as I sit here telling it to a computer screen, it's easy. ha ha.
Posted by gromit on March 7, 2005, at 23:23:41
In reply to Re: How to not second guess your dr. when you DO, posted by Spriggy on March 7, 2005, at 18:02:20
> Is that sooo hard??
> No,not as I sit here telling it to a computer screen, it's easy. ha ha.You will feel better after you do it, good luck.
Posted by Neal on March 8, 2005, at 1:54:42
In reply to Re: How to not second guess your dr. when you DO, posted by gromit on March 7, 2005, at 23:23:41
At the risk of sounding a little too blunt for this group, fire your therapist and get someone who knows what they're talking about. Don't waste years of your life just to spare someone's feelings.
This is the end of the thread.
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