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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by judy1 on April 17, 2002, at 17:32:52
I don't know if anyone remembers my trials with my first shrink- the (big) boundary crossings, etc. I seem to be avoiding my current shrink because I feel like I'm repeating my behavior- he's not, very strong on boundaries. So amateur shrinks- why am I doing that (flirting, etc) even though I thought I worked that out with a psychologist. Am I doomed to repeat? Does this mean I didn't truly work everything out? See, I feel safe here (even if I get no answers)- Judy
Posted by Phil on April 17, 2002, at 18:06:02
In reply to I'm going to ask for advice- ok?, posted by judy1 on April 17, 2002, at 17:32:52
Why not talk to your shrink about it?
Posted by Greg on April 17, 2002, at 20:15:19
In reply to Re: I'm going to ask for advice- ok?, posted by Phil on April 17, 2002, at 18:06:02
> Why not talk to your shrink about it?
What did your psychologist say about it? I agree with Phil that it would probably be a good idea to talk about this with your shrink and get it out in the open. Making you both aware of it might make it a little less apt to take place. Make any sense? Probably not...
Just an idle thought in an idle brain.
Greg
Posted by Shar on April 17, 2002, at 20:27:20
In reply to I'm going to ask for advice- ok?, posted by judy1 on April 17, 2002, at 17:32:52
Judy,
It is hard to work anything out completely, I think. Stuff with me, it can always seem to rear its ugly head again.My guess is (from what I remember of your family of origin) that your current behavior is one of the most familiar roles for you, not necessarily comfortable. You probably don't have a great big bunch of different ways to be with men (I only have 3 or 4). I have almost like a blueprint I can find myself slipping into, repeating old patterns of behavior. Not just with men, but also in other situations and other roles.
It is definitely in your control to change it. Being aware is a BIG step. Plus, I bet if you can be aware of it when it's happening, it may not be how you really feel down deep. You know, you might think this therapist is nice, or skilled, or comfortable to talk to, whatever. But, the boundary stuff feels to me like an old pattern, not the here-and-now, authentic you.
Also, I think for a lot of women, being flirty is a good way to get approval (which we ALL want). It doesn't threaten men, they can relate to it, etc. But, IMHO you could learn to be the real YOU, and could get genuine approval from that, which I believe would mean much more to you. And, you could learn to approve of you, yourself, as you are so that even if someone doesn't give you approval, you will be ok with that (I'm working on this issue, too).
I believe it would be worth talking to your therapist about, if you feel up to it. You might as well...
Shar
> I don't know if anyone remembers my trials with my first shrink- the (big) boundary crossings, etc. I seem to be avoiding my current shrink because I feel like I'm repeating my behavior- he's not, very strong on boundaries. So amateur shrinks- why am I doing that (flirting, etc) even though I thought I worked that out with a psychologist. Am I doomed to repeat? Does this mean I didn't truly work everything out? See, I feel safe here (even if I get no answers)- Judy
Posted by judy1 on April 18, 2002, at 18:07:50
In reply to I'm going to ask for advice- ok? Definitely ok! » judy1, posted by Shar on April 17, 2002, at 20:27:20
It is totally familiar behavior for me, and actually I got a little depressed when you said you find yourself slipping into familiar patterns- I just feel you have your stuff really together. Actually we have talked about it, he says it happens when I'm manic, but who feels sexual when they're depressed? I agree being aware is important, just wish I could stop it. Thanks everyone for your advice- Judy
Posted by Shar on April 18, 2002, at 22:50:47
In reply to Re: I'm going to ask for advice- ok? Definitely ok! » Shar, posted by judy1 on April 18, 2002, at 18:07:50
> It is totally familiar behavior for me, and actually I got a little depressed when you said you find yourself slipping into familiar patterns- I just feel you have your stuff really together.
...the good part of that, tho, is that I just slip into patterns occasionally...I don't live there anymore. Some stuff is so deep it's hard for it to go away altogether.
>just wish I could stop it.
...I hear that. You are due a lot of credit for working on all this stuff, in light of being on the roller-coaster. And it will get better and better.
Shar
Posted by Chris A. on April 18, 2002, at 23:55:39
In reply to Dern brain chemicals! » judy1, posted by Shar on April 18, 2002, at 22:50:47
Does this only occur when heading into hypomania? I could send you my pDoc. The lines are strictly drawn. That's how I know that he really does care about my best interest.
Please take care of yourself.
Blessings,
Chris A.
Posted by kazoo on April 18, 2002, at 23:58:37
In reply to Re: I'm going to ask for advice- ok? Definitely ok! » Shar, posted by judy1 on April 18, 2002, at 18:07:50
> ... but who feels sexual when they're depressed?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^I do!
I do!
This must mean I'm not depressed, or proof positive that there is life on Mars.Say, are there depressed people around here?
(I remain kazooian) kazoo
Nota bene:
Paging Willow, paging Willow ...
If you regress the depressed, you must suppress the obsessed, or profess no excess of success with those in duress ... bless, bless
Meow.
Posted by judy1 on April 19, 2002, at 12:23:46
In reply to Judy!, posted by Chris A. on April 18, 2002, at 23:55:39
Hi Chris!
I'm glad you found yourself here and yes he knows I ALWAYS get sexual towards him when I'm hypo and thank you for the offer about your pdoc. I went through over a dozen before I found this one and he's a treasure- I think I was talking about contracts. I have one for suicide, spending, sex (here I go with the s's again) and he gives me some room say a 61/2 on the 1-10 scale and has boundaries, which I didn't even know existed until the first shrink jumped over them. Thanks again- Judy
Posted by judy1 on April 19, 2002, at 12:25:42
In reply to Re: I'm going to ask for advice- ok? Definitely ok!, posted by kazoo on April 18, 2002, at 23:58:37
I loved that Kazoo! You do the same thing I do with the rhyming- what do the powers-to-be they call that?
Posted by SLS on July 14, 2002, at 15:55:04
In reply to I'm going to ask for advice- ok?, posted by judy1 on April 17, 2002, at 17:32:52
Dear Judy,
I'm afraid I have only the vaguest of recollections regarding your incident. I'm guessing you made sexual advances upon your Pdoc. Did he say "yes"? If he did, end of story (of course).
Did your clinical relationship with your doctor change in a way that became counterproductive? Did you feel embarrassed? Can you get past the embarrassment, or will you need to seek a new doctor after each manic epidode that produces hypersexuality? I doubt you will be able to control the behavioral urges once some threshold level of mania has been reached. In other words, you can't blame yourself for being sick and in what ways you are sick. You are no more responsible for your hypersexual behavior during a manic episode as one would be responsible for failuring to prevent their red blood cells from exploding during an attack of hemolytic anemia. I think a good doctor would set your mind at ease as soon as is possible. During one of my manic episodes, I asked my doctor a very personal question. I couldn't help but to apologize once my head cleared up. He simply said that these are the illnesses he treats. Although no apology was necessary, I thought it was very important for me to apologize and acknowledge the event within the context of a continuing working relationship.
Maybe the second easiest way to address the problem is to emphatically state your behavioural tendencies when you become manic to a new or prospective doctor. As a professional, he will already be prepared for such possibilities, as they are common features of the illness. You can discuss in advance how such events will be treated.
Perhaps the easiest way to address the problem is to choose a Pdoc based on gender.
- Scott
This is the end of the thread.
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