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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by curtm on April 25, 2006, at 16:50:30
i'm feeling a little shy and reclusive now, so i'll come back here for a while. i would like to keep this space to babble things that i need to without making a fool of myself (probably am now anyway.) i just want to say that i don't expect anyone to reply to this post, although you are welcome to.
i think people think i am very wierd, but i don't try to alienate anyone by being a little off the wall. sometimes i feel like i don't belong on the inside, but i do my best not to show or say anything about it on the outside.
why do i need attention? i keep going to my e-mail to see if there is any new mail, but usually there isn't, which makes me feel sad. i have been obsessed lately about this support group. i'll probably need therapy to deal with this now.
Posted by curtm on April 25, 2006, at 18:06:34
In reply to My hiding place, posted by curtm on April 25, 2006, at 16:50:30
That's just great! Made an as* of myself again! Aaargh! I was notified that I was posting where I shouldn't have and I want to take it all back. So I relocated here. I'm afraid to go out there again (to the boards).
Posted by curtm on April 25, 2006, at 18:07:01
In reply to My hiding place, posted by curtm on April 25, 2006, at 16:50:30
I don't know if I am in manic or depressed state right now. Could I be having depression mania? Maybe I am experiencing dimentia. Would I know it if I was?
Posted by ClearSkies on April 26, 2006, at 7:21:59
In reply to My hiding place, posted by curtm on April 25, 2006, at 16:50:30
Posted by curtm on April 26, 2006, at 9:06:34
In reply to My hiding place, posted by curtm on April 25, 2006, at 16:50:30
I feel a little better today. I was pretty upset about feeling "unpopular." It just seemed like whenever I posted to an existing thread, then the thread would not continue. I thought I could meet everyone right away and have some online friends. I know how making friends works, I just moved a little too fast and spilled too much too soon. Most of these veterans have gotten to know each other well and it might take a while to earn their respect. Hopefully I haven't sealed my fate as "wierd" or a babbler.
Posted by ClearSkies on April 26, 2006, at 15:48:52
In reply to Re: My hiding place, posted by curtm on April 26, 2006, at 9:06:34
There's a long-standing myth about being a "thread killer"; it seems like we each get that feeling at one time or another. It's not really happening! Or at least, it happens to all of us. Don't worry about your posting unless it's a problem for *you*.
ClearSkies
Posted by curtm on April 26, 2006, at 16:49:54
In reply to Re: My hiding place, posted by curtm on April 26, 2006, at 9:06:34
Dear ClearSkies
Thank you for your concern for my feelings. It is at the least a consolation. I don't feel quite as lonely.Did you happen to read my story about the episode I had yesterday? It's nothing new to hear to some of ya, I'm sure, but it was to me. It had me scared to the point that I almost found it amusing. LOL I did make an "emergency" visit with my pdoc today about it though, and she was very concerned. But anyway, I feel better now that I shared it with her and anyone else.
TTYL ok? :)
Posted by curtm on April 26, 2006, at 20:10:03
In reply to Re: My hiding place » curtm, posted by ClearSkies on April 26, 2006, at 15:48:52
(Oops. didn't get the last post right that was supposed to address you. Hope you see this one)
Dear ClearSkies
Thank you for your concern for my feelings. It is at the least a consolation. I don't feel quite as lonely.Did you happen to read my story about the episode I had yesterday? It's nothing new to hear to some of ya, I'm sure, but it was to me. It had me scared to the point that I almost found it amusing. LOL I did make an "emergency" visit with my pdoc today about it though, and she was very concerned. But anyway, I feel better now that I shared it with her and anyone else.
TTYL ok? :)
Posted by ClearSkies on April 27, 2006, at 6:54:47
In reply to ClearSkies- » ClearSkies, posted by curtm on April 26, 2006, at 20:10:03
I saw your Wellbutrin post - what a reaction! I did OK on wellbutrin at lower dosages but therapeutic ones sent my blood pressure to high.
Your reaction reminds me of taking my first dose of Campral. It felt like I'd had three martinis; which is ironic considering that the medication is prescribed for lowering alcohol cravings...CS
Posted by curtm on April 27, 2006, at 13:00:34
In reply to Re: ClearSkies- » curtm, posted by ClearSkies on April 27, 2006, at 6:54:47
There are dark cloud rolling overhead outside today, but I am glad to see them. I have no negative feelings today and would like to keep it that way. I don't need my hiding place today. (knock on wood) :)
Posted by ClearSkies on April 27, 2006, at 16:24:47
In reply to Brighter day, posted by curtm on April 27, 2006, at 13:00:34
We take the peek at a Brighter day
Not too closely
Lest we are blinded
by the brilliance that joy can bring
but we observe
ObserveThat our dark can recede
can fade
In spite
or because of
our efforts
(I think it's in spite of!!)I accept the glorious days
Thankful for the light they cast
on all round my life
peeking under the bed
lolling around the dustbunnies
asking
will you play today?
will you please play?Today I can say Yes!
I can play
I can spread the light
Scare those shadows away
On into the night
Stay, stay...
that's a good boy...
Stay gentle now.And maybe
That brighter day
Was happening without me!
Imagine!
The cheek!A good day happening without me.
I shake my head in consternation.
This is what I've been waiting for all this time
And it's been right here
Waiting for me.
Where have I been?
Looking at my bellybutton? (No, only recently)
No.
It waits
PatientlyUntil we are ready for it.
Happiness.
Hope.
Light in place of dark.
Posted by curtm on April 27, 2006, at 16:52:22
In reply to Re: Brighter day » curtm, posted by ClearSkies on April 27, 2006, at 16:24:47
Posted by curtm on April 27, 2006, at 21:27:15
In reply to Re: Brighter day (nm) » ClearSkies, posted by curtm on April 27, 2006, at 16:52:22
Thanks for the uplifting words. [({hug for you})]
Posted by curtm on April 28, 2006, at 10:10:43
In reply to My hiding place, posted by curtm on April 25, 2006, at 16:50:30
I revisited my first couple posts in this thread. Wow. I must have done all that sulking the other day when I had a mixed bipolar reaction to my meds. Even though it is Friday at last, I feel a little unenthused (but not down). I'll try to stay out of my hiding place today. I have several reasons to look forward to the weekend, but one reason I am not is that I have less time to visit PB (psycho-babble).
Posted by curtm on April 28, 2006, at 13:17:43
In reply to Re: My hiding place, posted by curtm on April 28, 2006, at 10:10:43
I hope Mom is coping with her dog getting killed by an automobile on the highway this morning. I feel for her right now. Think I'll just hang out here a little a little bit for a some peace and quiet...
Posted by curtm on April 28, 2006, at 17:14:46
In reply to My hiding place, posted by curtm on April 25, 2006, at 16:50:30
Just a note to all:
The doors to "My Hiding Place" are always open, so if you want to come in and hang out, you're welcome anytime. Just don't mind the mess.
Posted by curtm on May 2, 2006, at 14:06:02
In reply to Come on in, posted by curtm on April 28, 2006, at 17:14:46
Wow. Sure is some uncivil ranting going on out there today. I better stay in my place a while before I get worked up...>:|
Posted by ClearSkies on May 2, 2006, at 23:12:10
In reply to Re: Come on in, posted by curtm on May 2, 2006, at 14:06:02
I hide sometimes when I feel my ire rising. Sometimes I even (gasp!) walk away from the computer, do something else, and try to let myself cool off.
But, sometimes I can't do that. And that's when I get in trouble. Here, IRL, it kind of overflows like a plumbing problem.
CS
This is the end of the thread.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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