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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Shame on April 12, 2006, at 13:27:54
At what point does it have nowhere else to go; the rage that is consuming my life? Soon, I should think. Every moment I am at work it clouds everything I do, and at the end of the day I carry it home where it has a chance to rest, but rarely to the point where it does not effect my life there as well. I live in a world where a man's life is defined by his job. One where he is expected to bear all of the worlds burdens silently, working thanklessly until his death. To give and never take, and to provide and never rest. Most men are like me, employed since the age of 15, and expected to stay that way until we are no longer useful to society.
So I chafe under the grip of a system designed to make me docile, one that tries to make me act without questioning why. I chose to think, and so I am labeled as a problem; someone who is willing to stand up to the system and say what needs to be said. I pick apart a managers uninformed logic without effort while proposing an elegant alternative solution, but no amount of subtlety gets the point across and speaking directly marks you as the voice of dissent. Do what you know to be right, and pay now. Do it wrong and you pay down the road. Dearly. At least in my profession, the profession of keeping aircraft in the air and their passengers alive. Either way it's taken out of you, but then again there was really never a decision to be made in the first place. Risking lives as a matter of convenience is a mark of madness.
Maybe the world needs people like me. Without us, would there be any change? Those too timid to speak would continue indefinitely under the thumb of intellectual and moral inferiors. How can anyone be so accepting, so servile, so spineless as to let someone do that to them? Me? I grind my captors under my boot heal like an insect. Prod me, and chances are you have provoked someone more intelligent and determined than yourself. At least that’s why my ego demands I believe.
When was the last time I had a clear mind? Too long ago to matter. Was I always like this? I don't seem to recall. All I can remember is the fog, all that I feel is the rage, and all I can see are sources of more madness. Each word I type is an effort as I search for the right one, grasp it out of the haze and put it in its proper place. Every though concentrated on to bring it into focus.
Why does it have to be like this? Why can't they leave me alone and try to dominate another? Can't they see I already have a ruler? My sickness, my broken mind that allows no other to hold me within boundaries. It owns me completely and leaves me no choice to do anything other than it's will.
Come clarity.
God, come clarity, please.
Posted by susan47 on April 13, 2006, at 10:23:37
In reply to Come Clarity, posted by Shame on April 12, 2006, at 13:27:54
Your sickness is a gift in disguise ... you have compassion, and honour, and your "broken mind" is rebelling against the sickness in humanity, the illness that dominates all those who are ruled by their investment in Number One .. the illness that's been taught to much of the world, by now ... be strong in knowing that your mind has more compassion and clarity in it's "madness" than those of the execs who contribute to the amorality of man ...
Listen ...
find the joy in you and work with that ... what is it, what is the joy, what is your own personal reason for being? Why do you wake in the morning and eat and sleep and sh*t, if not for ...? What is it? Follow that thing ... find a guide to help you ... I need a guide too, and am looking right now, I am looking for the guide in each person I meet, and finding bits of myself ... where are you?
Posted by Shame on April 18, 2006, at 8:29:27
In reply to Re: Come Clarity » Shame, posted by susan47 on April 13, 2006, at 10:23:37
Where am I? I live in SW Wisconsin. Let just say it's not my favorite place in the world.
Posted by susan47 on April 19, 2006, at 10:34:11
In reply to Re: Come Clarity » susan47, posted by Shame on April 18, 2006, at 8:29:27
Is it deadening? Grey and flat?
Ugly?
Where is the beauty?
Got a park, got grass, got a flower ...
Where are the birds ...
they flock in grey and blue ...
here on the ground,
their nests are concrete and steel ...
and smoke, endless smoke
not from the land ...
from their beaks.
Posted by Declan on May 20, 2006, at 22:22:11
In reply to Re: Come Clarity, posted by susan47 on April 19, 2006, at 10:34:11
Where the hell is Wisconsin? Found it on the map, near Minessota, I think. Bob Dylan territory. Lots of industrial slag heaps? Your post made me think of Edmund White's cure for depression (for his mother).....room service with attractive bellboys with times on their hands (no good for you?). Susan's right. It says something good about you.
Declan
This is the end of the thread.
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