Psycho-Babble Writing Thread 598933

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What is Good

Posted by Maynerd on January 14, 2006, at 1:18:51

Something I wrote for a class assignment

So many things in life seem good to me
Like swimming in the Eternal and Infinite Sea
The magnificent splendor of a forest of trees
Children’s playful laughter upon the evening breeze
An honest and friendly smile on everyone’s face
A warm welcoming whenever we go some place
Understanding and forgiveness really are quite fine
Compassion and Unconditional Love are truly Divine
Truly and happily following Jesus’ path of Love
Striving with all your being to enter the Kingdom above
Treating all life as equals as we all know we should
All these things combined to me are good
But wait; hold on, this is not all…
There are many more good things if I recall!!
Like reading poetry or classic writings until late in the night
Followed by the brilliant glory of first morning light
Pursuing knowledge for knowledge itself
Seeking wisdom for spiritual wealth
Stopping and listening to what a child has to say
Sometimes letting the child inside come out and play
Seeing that all life is of equal worth
And working for there to be true Peace and Love on Earth

 

Re: What is Good » Maynerd

Posted by Joan797 on January 14, 2006, at 7:30:16

In reply to What is Good, posted by Maynerd on January 14, 2006, at 1:18:51

Normally, I don't like ryhming poetry because it sounds forced. This was lovely. Flowed so smoothly. Very pretty. Beautiful to read.

Joan

 

Re: What is Good

Posted by Maynerd on January 23, 2006, at 0:44:34

In reply to Re: What is Good » Maynerd, posted by Joan797 on January 14, 2006, at 7:30:16

Thank you, I appreciate the compliment,AND more importantly the feedback. It is interesting to me how divided people are about rhyming in poetry, some hate it and some hated when it doesn't have it. What you said is very insightful and true though, too many times it does sound forced. I have looked at some of my past poetry with that in mind and have seen many examples of this to be honest to both of us, but am unsure what to do to change it.

I never learned to write peoptry in a class or from a book or anything like that; I learned from helping a musician friend I had years ago who wanted me to help writing lyrics. She liked the unique way I see the world (the only person in this world to respect that!!) and the fact that I was always able to write to any beat she would bring. Most of the things I write these days start out in my head the same way but seem to end up be mutated away from that cadence I originally start with.

 

Re: What is Good » Maynerd

Posted by wildcard11 on January 24, 2006, at 11:27:44

In reply to Re: What is Good, posted by Maynerd on January 23, 2006, at 0:44:34

open, pure and honest....wonderful

 

Re: What is Good » Maynerd

Posted by James K on January 26, 2006, at 14:42:54

In reply to Re: What is Good, posted by Maynerd on January 23, 2006, at 0:44:34

My completely untrained thoughts on poetry also relate to lyrics and rhyme. What I think is good is when someone can throw in the rhyme and the word play in the form of readable sentences. And there isn't a sing-song rhythm but a more complex one. Then you can slam in a non rhyme or an incomplete measure for effect. Like a dissonant chord or a verse that doesn't go where you expect, but still works. In musical improvisation, I think there isn't a wrong note, as long as you can resolve it in the bigger scheme of the run or the structure. The work of Ornette Coleman comes into play here because he threw out many of the rules just to see if he could get a group or solo strictly with feel not convention. Harmolodics (or something close to that) he called it, and very few besides himself actually understand all of it. But I love the theory of it. Another thing I'm reminded of is what I think Lester Bangs called the Lou Reed school of songwriting. "I walked to the chair. I sat in the chair."

None of this has anything to do with "What is Good", I'm just riffing on your comments.

I like your "leaking from the corners of his eyes" poem further down the page. Particularly the river imagery and the broken dreams part.

James K


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