Psycho-Babble Writing Thread 597327

Shown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Broken Animal Crackers

Posted by Atticus on January 9, 2006, at 20:16:29

Tragedy’s an illusion.
Just a playwright’s fickle choice,
And my nieces’s tears on the phone
Just one more dramatist’s voice,
My sister and her husband
Play bass guitar to her lead noise,
The universe in a twisted trio,
An eternal kind of poise,
And overhead stars say lazily,
It’s more of the same, my boys,
She’s like a billion billion
Children torn from threadbare toys.

The gilded age of innocence
Has always been a cruel lie,
And broken animal crackers
Never survive, they just die.

Annie’s sobs wrack the telephone’s
Indifferent plastic curl,
The breathtaking breaking of an
Eleven-year-old matchstick girl.
I envision her in rags from Dickens,
I picture her fractured soul
On Victorian cobblestones
That exact a heartless toll,
The crushing gravity of a
Family turned black hole,
A child actress with no clue
About her lines, about her role.

The gilded age of innocence
Has always been a cruel lie,
And broken animal crackers
Never survive, they just die.

I whisper words of comfort
That she already knows are trite,
Barbie and Ken lie dismembered
In their Dreamhouse through the night,
Legs and arms strewn asunder,
In betrayed rage as the fight
Between her atomic parents
Sets off nuclear white light,
And Annie’s aluminum bat
Crushes a doll’s mansion from sight,
Leaving only shards of plastic,
And this wreckage somehow feels right.

The gilded age of innocence
Has always been a cruel lie,
And broken animal crackers
Never survive, they just die.

 

Re: Broken Animal Crackers

Posted by Maynerd on January 9, 2006, at 22:52:10

In reply to Broken Animal Crackers, posted by Atticus on January 9, 2006, at 20:16:29

Wow, I don't know what else to say. The visual image you manifested with your words were extremely sad for me. Excellent job portraying those images. They might be triggers for some, you may want to note that in the title line next time.

 

Re: Broken Animal Crackers » Maynerd

Posted by Atticus on January 10, 2006, at 10:34:33

In reply to Re: Broken Animal Crackers, posted by Maynerd on January 9, 2006, at 22:52:10

Watching my sister's marriage disintegrating -- like cars involved in some awful motorway accident shown in slow motion -- and the way it's pulling my niece apart is difficult to take. She calls me up in tears, not knowing where else to turn, then generally takes out her anger on her own possessions. She's just old enough to understand what may happen to the family. My sister told me that one day when my brother-in-law was at work, my niece walked up to her and said, "I'm sorry you're so sad." Atticus

 

Re: Broken Animal Crackers

Posted by B2chica on January 10, 2006, at 10:59:38

In reply to Broken Animal Crackers, posted by Atticus on January 9, 2006, at 20:16:29

wow.
never a dissapointment in your writings atticus.
it's been a while since i've been to this board, glad to see your still posting.
i wouldn't mind some advice for my writings from you.

thank you for sharing those incredible words.
b2c.

 

Re: Broken Animal Crackers » B2chica

Posted by Atticus on January 10, 2006, at 11:17:32

In reply to Re: Broken Animal Crackers, posted by B2chica on January 10, 2006, at 10:59:38

Thanks so much for the kind words, B2. Ta. Atticus

 

Re: Broken Animal Crackers » Atticus

Posted by sabrina0805 on January 10, 2006, at 14:38:54

In reply to Broken Animal Crackers, posted by Atticus on January 9, 2006, at 20:16:29

Poor, poor Annie!
As I read this, a picture story unfolded in my mind. I even saw the broken crackers and crumbs lying about.
So sad, but so beautifully written.
Sabrina

 

Re: Broken Animal Crackers » sabrina0805

Posted by Atticus on January 10, 2006, at 16:33:18

In reply to Re: Broken Animal Crackers » Atticus, posted by sabrina0805 on January 10, 2006, at 14:38:54

She really did demolish the fake nuclear family of Barbie and Ken and take a bat to their unintentionally ironically named "Dream House," too. She very athletic (superb tennis player), and her responses tend to be physical ones. She has dyslexia, so she has great difficulty organizing her thoughts in something like a journal. More likely, her parents will find one of Annie's possession bashed to bits the morning after a fight -- and they still can't connect the two events! Stunning self-absorption on their part. They're like two components of a bomb, the the bomb hasn't the wits to understand that whenever it detonates, Annie's actions are the shock waves -- their emotional destructiveness rendered as a bizarre kind of performance art by a child who can think of no other way to release the immense emotions creating such internal turmoil. Atticus

 

Re: Broken Animal Crackers » Atticus

Posted by sabrina0805 on January 11, 2006, at 11:36:22

In reply to Re: Broken Animal Crackers » sabrina0805, posted by Atticus on January 10, 2006, at 16:33:18

My goodness!! I just want to grab her and hold her real tight. Somehow I don't think she'll allow that!

The poor child! I feel so much for her.

Sabrina


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