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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by PM80 on June 22, 2005, at 8:14:53
Even-keeled,
the meds are working,
I ride a smoother road.
But what to think
without crowding emotions
suffusing my mind
is something I do not know.
Posted by sunny10 on June 22, 2005, at 8:41:54
In reply to something I do not know (short version), posted by PM80 on June 22, 2005, at 8:14:53
yeah, when you spend most of your time striving for an even-keel, what do you do with your thoughts and your time once you achieve that even-keel?
I've felt that way before. I can tell you what NOT to do- because I've done it... Don't look for ways to burst your own balloon just because you feel the need for familiarity...
I think this is why my T has told me that I need a new hobby.... Maybe you could try this, too?
Posted by PM80 on June 22, 2005, at 10:10:14
In reply to Re: something I do not know (short version), posted by sunny10 on June 22, 2005, at 8:41:54
> yeah, when you spend most of your time striving for an even-keel, what do you do with your thoughts and your time once you achieve that even-keel?
>
> I've felt that way before. I can tell you what NOT to do- because I've done it... Don't look for ways to burst your own balloon just because you feel the need for familiarity...Yeah, I'v been thinking about the whole familiarity thing.
It's just weird to me. I can actually think about anything I want. I can fully make that choice, and it is a strange feeling. It almost feels too empty in my head, although I'm not apathetic or otherwise dulled by the meds. I've just always been exuberant(sp?) or bummed or hurting or restless or something. What do I do now in my head without all that?
Posted by sunny10 on June 22, 2005, at 10:30:28
In reply to Re: something I do not know (short version), posted by PM80 on June 22, 2005, at 10:10:14
yes, it definitely sounds like you need a new hobby.
Pot throwing? Glass blowing? Cooking classes? Latch hook rugging? Knitting? Cross-stitching? Horseback riding? Hiking? Kayaking? Join or create a bookclub?
Gosh, I don't know... I can think of lots, but I'm not through the disorganized thinking stage so they all just sound like more work to me.
But it sounds like you're ready for them.....good for you. I hope to be there sometime soon...
Posted by sleepygirl on June 22, 2005, at 19:47:48
In reply to something I do not know (short version), posted by PM80 on June 22, 2005, at 8:14:53
Now you can do the exciting things or anxiety provoking things you might have avoided before (at least that's how it works for me) The world has a lot more possibilities without the presence of ridiculous amounts of anxiety and depression or confusion or angst etc., etc.
Posted by alexandra_k on June 23, 2005, at 6:16:31
In reply to something I do not know (short version), posted by PM80 on June 22, 2005, at 8:14:53
sssssh -
whats that?silence
it can feel so empty sometimes.
i think...
i get what you mean.
i'm used to my head going one million miles an hour about 5 ideas to a sentance.
and sometimes
sometimes
it just seems to stop
lift like a burden
but then..
what?
what then.i don't know.
what sorts of things do you enjoy?
ooh. a thought. is it peace?
is it a peaceful feeling?
if so
then don't forget to enjoy it :-)
go for a walk or something
go to a gallery or something
enjoy the peace.
Posted by PM80 on June 23, 2005, at 8:48:17
In reply to Re: something I do not know (short version) » PM80, posted by alexandra_k on June 23, 2005, at 6:16:31
Thanks for the responses :)
I never avoided anything that I wanted to do. It was more like what alex wrote. I just have always had a lot of extra stuff in my brain, emotionally and also a million and one tangental(sp?) thoughts. Ever since I was a kid I have felt that way. Now that my brain is more "normal", it feels a little empty. It isn't peaceful yet, but hopefully it will be eventually. Right now it is almost mildly anxiety provoking. Anytime one deviates from the norm, stress can appear. It's kinda like that. It's hard to explain, I guess. Anyway, thanks again for your thoughts.
Posted by cockeyed on June 23, 2005, at 12:35:37
In reply to something I do not know (short version), posted by PM80 on June 22, 2005, at 8:14:53
> Even-keeled,
> the meds are working,
> I ride a smoother road.
> But what to think
> without crowding emotions
> suffusing my mind
> is something I do not know.Hey PM80, I don't know what to say. my meds are working. And there are so many possibilities that I'm scared. Like some squirrel i run around feeling better but I can't seem to get off the ground. On the ground? and emotions...I refuse to know what they are. rather be a stone. the reach is too far. I know it's a cliche but I don't want to feel all this stuff running around it seems to real. my TV is safe, I can sit and just click and click and click. emotions make me sick or is it the other way around. Maybe one of my friendly counselors will offer me a doughnut. But you said it right on. cockeyed.
Posted by Damos on June 23, 2005, at 16:59:58
In reply to Re: something I do not know (short version), posted by PM80 on June 22, 2005, at 10:10:14
Rest in the stillness and just let it be.
Posted by Damos on June 23, 2005, at 17:13:17
In reply to Re: something I do not know (short version), posted by PM80 on June 23, 2005, at 8:48:17
The absence of thought is a scary thing at first, even in a generally empty-headed person like me. But I always come back to something a Buddhist monk told me about the purpose of meditations. He said it was not to try to stop thinking but to simply increase the space between your thoughts. The 'void' is the essence of all things and through accessing it so much else possible. Try to passively observe your reactions to the silence that way you won't trigger off a thought stream, you will just observe and become aware because the silence lets you see.
Congrats and good luck.
Posted by alexandra_k on June 23, 2005, at 17:35:45
In reply to Re: something I do not know (short version), posted by PM80 on June 23, 2005, at 8:48:17
It can be hard when you get a feeling that is strange. It can be hard to figure out what to make of it, to figure out how to interpret it.
I guess...
I'd try to like it.
If it is anything like the feeling I get sometimes I think about it as crisp and clean and minimilist. Neutral. Interpretable as peace. I listen to the Strawpeople sometimes (a NZ band). There is a song that goes 'listen....' and then instrumental and then 'the sound of perfect peace'. It isn't supposed to be meditative - but it is for me sometimes. Do you enjoy classical music (or any sort of 'peaceful' or 'complex' music really)? You might find that if you listen to it with all of your attention that the inner stillness will allow you to be carried along by the music like you never have been before. You might find that you can rediscover enjoyment in the little tiny things because you aren't so distracted by your thoughts all the time.It can be a little scairy though.
After a while...
It will probably come to seem 'normal'.
Posted by PM80 on June 24, 2005, at 8:23:45
In reply to Re: something I do not know (short version) » PM80, posted by Damos on June 23, 2005, at 17:13:17
Interesting idea. I had not really thought about it that way. I will have to try it out a bit.
Posted by PM80 on June 24, 2005, at 8:28:58
In reply to Re: something I do not know (short version) » PM80, posted by alexandra_k on June 23, 2005, at 17:35:45
Yeah, I do enjoy many kinds of music, including classical. I had a session with my T yesterday evening and mentioned that i felt unlike how i have always felt, that my mind felt a bit empty. He said that it was common to miss hubbub of mania once the meds begin working.
But it really makes me wonder about how other people are. Is this really how most people think and feel and relate to the world?
Posted by alexandra_k on June 24, 2005, at 9:21:12
In reply to Re: something I do not know (short version), posted by PM80 on June 24, 2005, at 8:28:58
> But it really makes me wonder about how other people are. Is this really how most people think and feel and relate to the world?
Hard to know.
And hard to know how much the strangeness is because of the novelty.
How things will seem once the novelty wears off...
This is the end of the thread.
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