Psycho-Babble Writing Thread 435405

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Forever in Time

Posted by AdaGrace on December 29, 2004, at 17:03:48

The sound of your voice floated through the southern wind and brushed against my ear.
Gently, softly, I heard you call my name.
The words were uneventful, but my heart grew glad once again for I had received the gift I had begged for.
In that brief moment in time, you were thinking of me.

But feelings of inadequacy soon crept inside when the words sunk into my addled brain.

You think of me.

You know my pain.

You are happy now, and life is good for you without me.

You have what you want, you need nothing else.

Emptyness encroaches me and surrounds my heart once again.

The face in the mirror looks back at me in grim remorse.

"I let you do it to me again. I let the hurt inside. Why. Why. Why."

Shallow words,
Shallow smiles

Painful eyes,
Painful heart

Muddy, murky spirit coursing through my veins.

Draining blood,
draining life

Empty arms,
empty and apart

Feelings of nothingness swirling in my brain.

Cold, clammy skin,
cold blowing wind.

Death is calling me home,
My heart forever broken and alone.

Emptyness surrounds me when I look into the future.

Hopes and dreams diminish into the cold night air.
A heart left empty by excruciating pain.
Damp, darkening cold seeping inside, filling the void.
The worrying mind scrolls up and down over the list of mistakes.
Realizing that time cannot erase those errors made with an all too eager heart.
The blackened soul yearns to be freed from the ties that bind it with Death.
Frigid fingers grasp it tightly, promissing and end to the everlasting torture it endures.

And so, I give into the temptation, sinning against God, taking his creation and turning it towards the fire.

The flames of Hell reach up and take me, careening downward swiftly into the black void we humans call Death, but Satan calls it decadent delicious desire sated and fulfilled.

You cannot burn an empty soul for it is already chared to ashes.

Yes forever is a long, long neverending time when you have nothing, nobody, to take your heart and break it free from the chains of unreturned love.

The heart that you hold beats quietly in the dark.
Cold, empty dark.

Please don't let go.

Re: Forever in Time » AdaGrace

Posted by saw on January 25, 2005, at 3:22:31

In reply to Forever in Time, posted by AdaGrace on December 29, 2004, at 17:03:48

You know, having read your post on social (which has floored me and I have NO idea how to respond yet), I obviously wish that I had responded to this when I read it in early January.

It is beautifully written and I think a reason that I did not respond at the time was that your words were very close to my own heart and what I experienced in early December. I found it very poignant and at the time I could only read it in a selfish light with my own experience at hand rather than you reaching out in pain.

Besides the issue at hand, you are a very talented writer. Very talented indeed.

As for the issue at hand, my dear friend AdaGrace - I am hurting for you. There is little I can do but be there for you. Please just know that.

My thoughts are with you.

Sabrina

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