![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Phil on December 7, 2004, at 7:44:54
First of all I don't consider myself a writer. I never expect my words to move anyone. I just live the void we all share and try to express how I feel. Take it or leave it.
____________________________________________Depression and all it's wonderful moments is kicking my ass like nobody's business. Lately, every day I wake up to a sense of dread-that's the first thing that hits me. Then I yell at my cat to shut the hell up. I shuffle off to the only thing that keeps me above water-a job I can't stand that is never enough to pay the bills.
These medications have taken away any 'high' I may have experienced but the depression remains full force. Mood stabilizer is right-I'm stable at the bottom of the tank with the rest of the walking dead.
If anyone thinks this is just a pity party, they haven't really seen my life over the last 20 years. Depression is right there just waiting to kick the next meds ass into oblivion.
I see my doctor this week but I've got to say; when this disease hits full force, it's me against it. There are no miracles.
This obsession of the mind, in and of itself, is enough to kill, so I don't want to hear about starving kids in the Sudan, people that are 'really sick', or some invisable god that will pull me out of this.
People, some famous, have written books on how gut-wrenching this disease is-even great writers concede that they don't have the words to describe it. Their families read those books and have to try and understand the illness that is as mysterious as the the blackest ocean. My family has to try and understand, too. I know it's a lot to ask.
The only thing I live for is that I've vowed never to surrender, but make no mistake, I've got a worthy foe.
My life may only amount to a never ending struggle with this darkness. That isn't much to hang your hat on, but it's all this cowboy's got.
Posted by Toph on December 7, 2004, at 14:06:30
In reply to All This Cowboy's Got, posted by Phil on December 7, 2004, at 7:44:54
Been there Phil. Depression, if it were a person, has a bounty on you and me. But it's more like a wild horse who would just as soon kick you in the teeth as let you ride. I hope you don't let it break your resolve because you just might be able to tame the beast. Expressing yourself so well here shows your resolve especially if you've been thrown a thousand times before.
-Toph
Posted by Dr. Bob on December 7, 2004, at 23:34:11
In reply to All This Cowboy's Got, posted by Phil on December 7, 2004, at 7:44:54
> Depression and all it's wonderful moments is kicking my [*]ss like nobody's business...
It's nice to see you posting again, but please don't use language that could offend others.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
Follow-ups regarding these issues should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration. They, as well as replies to the above post, should of course themselves be civil.
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by saw on December 9, 2004, at 8:12:11
In reply to All This Cowboy's Got, posted by Phil on December 7, 2004, at 7:44:54
I continue to be moved by your experience. If I were ever capable of an all consuming hatred, a totally eradicating, powerful hatred, it would be of my depression and all that it has stolen from me and from those around me, like you.
I wanted to babblemail you.
Sabrina
Posted by Phil on December 9, 2004, at 8:22:02
In reply to Re: All This Cowboy's Got » Phil, posted by saw on December 9, 2004, at 8:12:11
No problem Sabrina but I've been gone a while and don't know how babble mail works.
Let me know, okay? I'm always ready to talk.
Posted by saw on December 9, 2004, at 8:37:33
In reply to Re: All This Cowboy's Got » saw, posted by Phil on December 9, 2004, at 8:22:02
OK, I have a stupid hat on most of the time, thanks to meds - so I will never remember off the top of my head how to do it. All I can remember is that it is easy. I will find the link and post for you.
Sabrina
Posted by saw on December 9, 2004, at 8:50:16
In reply to Re: All This Cowboy's Got » Phil, posted by saw on December 9, 2004, at 8:37:33
I hope I got this right
https://dr-bob.securesites.com/cgi-bin/pb/signup.pl
Then, just update your registration - you should be given an option to check a box to receive babblemail
If I've skewerd this one folks, please correct me.
Sabrina
Posted by Phil on December 9, 2004, at 12:47:28
In reply to Re: All This Cowboy's Got, posted by saw on December 9, 2004, at 8:50:16
Well, my babblemail should be set up. I have no idea how to use it and am too lazy to find out
If you do know...send me a message. : )
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Writing | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.