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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by KID A on March 19, 2004, at 16:40:15
Hi,
None of you may know me... some may remember me. I've been a member of this site since may of 2001. I've written a good deal of poetry on this site on older archives, I believe in my time I was one of say two to three people at most to have been writing poetry here.I've been writing since approximately 1986, (since I was 16), and was first published in 1991.
I don't plan on adding any of my new poems to this board, because I am only posting them to one particular site for a few published readers for criticism etc, and they are in manuscript form, so I feel that it's in my best interest not to flood the internet with them.
The point is, not to be un-modest, I know a darned lot about poetry, and if any of you would like help, crit, or any kind of advice on rhyme scheme, meter, iambic, free verse, sonnets, etc etc, I can help you out.
I'm doing this not because I think I'm the worlds greatest poet, or even close, but to help people if they like, to better there writing.
Poetry is not as simple as it sounds, and a lot of people are surprised when a particular piece in a highly critical forrum gets trashed. I can give you advice that will highly improve both the power and form of your poetry.
How much? Nothing... just your attention, and the willingness to give some advice a try.
Posted by KID A on March 22, 2004, at 23:17:07
In reply to *** Poetic Criticism ***, posted by KID A on March 19, 2004, at 16:40:15
I reneg this.
Posted by Karen_kay on March 24, 2004, at 12:50:17
In reply to Re: *** Poetic Criticism ***, posted by KID A on March 22, 2004, at 23:17:07
Why did you take the offer back? If I wrote anything I saw fit to print, I'd encourage any type of constructive criticism. I'm sure others would appreciate it as well. Perhaps you could just chime in with thoughts when you see fit?
Posted by Slinky on March 24, 2004, at 17:57:00
In reply to Re: *** Poetic Criticism *** » KID A, posted by Karen_kay on March 24, 2004, at 12:50:17
Hello
You still got my email ad..?
Mail me if you want--I lost all my emails when paranoid ~silly moo am I~
Can't do poetry stuff #meds make me 2 nice.Love
Posted by KID A on March 28, 2004, at 23:48:26
In reply to Re: *** Poetic Criticism *** » KID A, posted by Karen_kay on March 24, 2004, at 12:50:17
> Why did you take the offer back? If I wrote anything I saw fit to print, I'd encourage any type of constructive criticism. I'm sure others would appreciate it as well. Perhaps you could just chime in with thoughts when you see fit?
I didn't think anyone was interested, so instead of constantly checking I figured I'd cancel it. Some people just don't like crit, so it wasn't a big deal.
I'll happily crit anything, but sometimes crit can be a bit frustrating for begining writers. Maybe I'll write a FAQ that will give people some good pointers on where to start, that would probably be a good start.
Posted by KID A on March 28, 2004, at 23:50:55
In reply to Re: *** Poetic Kid_A, posted by Slinky on March 24, 2004, at 17:57:00
> Hello
>
> You still got my email ad..?
> Mail me if you want--I lost all my emails when paranoid ~silly moo am I~
> Can't do poetry stuff #meds make me 2 nice.
>
> Love
>yup, I should still have it. wrote a poem in Bournemoth(sp?) when I tried to reach you a'la phone... I will find and send an email. I missed u.
lurve, i should coco.
Posted by Slinky on March 29, 2004, at 0:35:50
In reply to Re: *** Poetic Kid_A » Slinky, posted by KID A on March 28, 2004, at 23:50:55
Youv'e been watching them old british films.
Chocks away lurve, i should coco.
Flying full mast four gogo girls full of gusto flicking chunky legs at gentlemen's go-tea beards full of alphabet spaggetti~ho ho ho.No criticism cause I know it's crappy
Seeing Kid A makes me happy.neweeeeeeemale:
bluestaticatblueyonderdotcodotuk
Posted by B2chica on April 7, 2004, at 12:14:04
In reply to Re: *** Poetic Criticism ***, posted by KID A on March 28, 2004, at 23:48:26
i don't mind criticism, as long as it's constructive. but i would Love a FAQ. i can't write formal poetry, i mostly write to get feelings out and it works, but it would be nice if it was in the right "forms" of poetry, and counts were right.
-btw are you a Radiohead fan "Kid A"? i Love them! Amnesiac and OK Computer are my fav.
B2c.
Posted by KID A on April 12, 2004, at 19:33:55
In reply to Re: *** Poetic Kid_A » KID A, posted by Slinky on March 29, 2004, at 0:35:50
i am emailing u sooon... be on the lookout for traveling spacemen3... luvdup off ya face.
my aim is true, happiness 4u.
Posted by KID A on April 12, 2004, at 19:38:11
In reply to Re: *** Poetic Criticism *** » KID A, posted by B2chica on April 7, 2004, at 12:14:04
> i don't mind criticism, as long as it's constructive.
crit is most always constructive, but sometimes it can be painful... it's only when people blatantly ignore it and then ask for more crit that critics get cranky... with that here are some simple rules culled from another online writer I know:
. Abstractness of thought or language. Words like "mankind," "eternity,"
"infinity," "heart," "the universe," "tears," "pain," "mind," "forever," and son are are abstractions of the sort that lead away from immediate experience and into philosophical and moral generalizations.2. Cliches, or triteness of thought or language.
3.Contrived obfuscatory mechanations or jejune ingenuity.
4.Wordiness.
5.Prosiness.
6. Imitative echoes of other poems or songs.
7.Awkwardness, especially as a result of the inversion of normal syntax.
8. Inconsistency in levels of diction (diction is word choice).
9. Weak metaphor (comparison) - either unoriginal or confused or incredible or risible.
10. Forced rhyme.
11.Inappropriate rhythm - either monotonous or inconsistent with the subject matter or tone of the poem.
12. Sentimentality or simple-mindedness.
13. Unconscious double meanings (sometimes, sexual puns).
14. Obvious poetic devices - poeticisms or archaisms ("o'er," "ne'er," etc.); dribbling lines across the page; avoiding all use of punctuation and capitalization; using blatant rhyme or alliteration.
15. Lack of unity. Every work of art, and every poem, is unified somehow - by having one basic thought, or by a consistent pattern of metaphor, or by a mood, or atmosphere, or by some unifying device or method or manner.
16. Lack of significance - the poem seems too pointless, or too ordinary, or too obvious.
~~~~confessional poetry has the trappings of a lot of this, unless you are quite good like Plath, Snodgrass, or Lowell, or simply quite mad, like Sexton.
good luck.
Posted by B2chica on April 13, 2004, at 10:23:29
In reply to Re: *** Poetic Criticism ***, posted by KID A on April 12, 2004, at 19:38:11
Thanks Kid A,
i do notice that i get caught up in the rhyming problems, and sometimes i'm just really stiff about the writings. Although recently i've gotten better, when i feel i'm becoming "stuck" or that i'm forcing the words i stop until it can just flow. That seems to work best for me, then i get a product that i can enjoy or reflect on.
Thanks.
B2c.
This is the end of the thread.
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