Shown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Rigby on February 8, 2004, at 17:00:08
Hi All,
First post to this board! I wrote this poem and was kind of curious if it makes sense to other people a little bit if at all. I have a very hard time figuring out if I'm communicating what I want or not. Anyway, here goes!
Maybe
I was fast
Or clever.
Or maybe I knew just the right way
To plead my case;
That if I burst into flames,
That if his temper,
Hot as new stars
Went too far,
He’d no longer have a place
To spend it.Maybe I held my head
Just the right way,
Angling it against the ground
While he pushed harder and harder
Nose into soil
Mouth into soil
Spirit into soil.
Maybe I caught a breath.I don’t need much—just a breath.
I don’t need much.
Just a breath.
Just a small breath.
Just a small break
Between earth and sky.
Maybe he got bored
Or maybe he remembered me.
Maybe his temper,
Shiny quarters on candy,
Was spent.Maybe I was lucky.
But his body, his head, his hair
Is lifted,
Guilty red wisps
Still sticking to my neck.
And because I breath
My tiny death
Goes unnoticed
Mostly by them
Even by me.My memory gets knocked out
Cold and into college.
Looking without eyes
I go groping for home
And find her
Because maybe she’ll birth me
Hot like a new star.
Maybe she’ll know
Just the right way
To plead my case.
Maybe she will be fast
And clever.
Maybe she’ll take in my tiny death
And hold me, tightly,
Love me, more than slightly.Maybe she will save me.
Posted by fayeroe on February 8, 2004, at 17:36:16
In reply to Maybe, posted by Rigby on February 8, 2004, at 17:00:08
I like it very, very much~~~~
Posted by Rigby on February 9, 2004, at 10:44:04
In reply to Re: Maybe » Rigby, posted by fayeroe on February 8, 2004, at 17:36:16
Thanks Fayroe. I really appreciate it! I have enjoyed the poetry you have chosen and posted. Do you write at all yourself?
> I like it very, very much~~~~
Posted by Karen_kay on February 9, 2004, at 13:26:21
In reply to Maybe, posted by Rigby on February 8, 2004, at 17:00:08
Maybe... someone will save me too? It was wonderful!
Posted by Rigby on February 9, 2004, at 14:30:54
In reply to gave me goosebumps! :), posted by Karen_kay on February 9, 2004, at 13:26:21
Thanks so much, Karen. I read your posts all the time and love 'em--you've got the **best** energy!!! You express yourself extraordinarly well.
> Maybe... someone will save me too? It was wonderful!
Posted by Jai Narayan on February 9, 2004, at 21:19:05
In reply to Re: gave me goosebumps! :) » Karen_kay, posted by Rigby on February 9, 2004, at 14:30:54
It was raw and graphic.
My goodness was that from your life, is it okay if I ask? If so. I too have been battered...it's not something you forget.
I hope this is not something that is recent....
Maybe I have asked too many questions.
I too felt my flesh dimpled with goose bumps.
Posted by gardenergirl on February 10, 2004, at 9:17:08
In reply to It was very visceral, posted by Jai Narayan on February 9, 2004, at 21:19:05
Posted by Rigby on February 10, 2004, at 10:09:22
In reply to It was very visceral, posted by Jai Narayan on February 9, 2004, at 21:19:05
Hi Jai,
To answer your questions, yeah, this experience was taken from my life--it happened, alot actually, from about age three until maybe fourteen or so (I'm now 42.) I tuned out (dissociated) pretty early on but in therapy I'm remembering more. My brother was mentally ill (raging, very, very violent) and unfortunately I was not protected from him.
Thanks so much for reading. :)
> It was raw and graphic.
> My goodness was that from your life, is it okay if I ask? If so. I too have been battered...it's not something you forget.
> I hope this is not something that is recent....
> Maybe I have asked too many questions.
> I too felt my flesh dimpled with goose bumps.
Posted by Jai Narayan on February 11, 2004, at 19:42:24
In reply to Re: It was very visceral » Jai Narayan, posted by Rigby on February 10, 2004, at 10:09:22
My brother was mentally ill (raging, very, very violent) and unfortunately I was not protected from him.
*so it was your brother? I thought it was a mate. How much older was your brother? What form of mental illness did he have?
I too, have had violence at the hands of my siblings as well. My older sister tried to choke me to death when I was very little...she was little too but older and jealous.
> Thanks so much for reading. :)thank you for surviving...I know it's hard but you did survive. Have you ever considered EMDR? It helped me incredibly. I did it for a year. I am a new person. I feel pretty different but really good.
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