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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by pegasus on February 23, 2007, at 9:14:32
Some of you may have followed my horrible work saga from last summer, where my boss basically gave my job away while I was on vacation, then offered me a demotion when I got back and acted like I was crazy for being upset about it. We worked that out, although I didn't get along with my boss (or the person who took my old job) for a while. We recently went through coaching, which helped a bit.
Well, in the middle of all of that, my boss was demoted in the sense that he was kicked off of the "senior staff" club, and another guy on senior staff was put in a position above him, as his supervisor. This was pretty much directly as a result of how he messed up the department by treating me so poorly last summer.
Yesterday, the new big boss told me that he's pretty sure he wants to reorganize the department (again) and that my position really should be subordinate to the (very hard to work with) person who took my old job last summer. I told him that I was sorry, but I just didn't think I could do it. I mean, I could try, but I know I wouldn't last a week before I quit.
So, he said that no one wants me to quit, and that maybe the right thing to do is find me another position in the company. Now he wants me to go back to a job that I had 5 years ago before I took my more recent role. It has a lot less responsibility, but I really enjoyed it back then. And I wouldn't have to work with my incompetent boss anymore, or the unpleasant person who took my old job out from under me. The best part is that they won't reduce my salary, even though I earn tons more than other folks in that department (including the person who will be my new boss).
There are a lot of really good things about this. I truly loved that job when I did it before. It's much more of a team-oriented position, and the people who are on the team are really wonderful. It'll be less stress in my life. I won't have to travel at all (business travel is *really* hard for me). I can reduce my hours, and have more time with my daughter and for schoolwork (I'm trying to finish a counsling MA). My internal reaction when he brought it up was . . . gleeful.
And then, my ego is a little bruised. I feel like I've failed at my recent job. I worked really hard to do a good job there, and I thought I had. I was proud of my work. But I guess not everyone sees it that way. Or at least, they'd rather lose me there than come up with a structure for the department that I can live with. I'm a little embarrassed about moving to a less responsible position. There was part of me that liked being the high powered professional woman type. And other people will see this as a demotion.
My T says that maybe it's a good experience for me. I'm having to choose between setting up my life in a way that's good for me and my family, versus taking on a role that builds up my ego more. Maybe having to make that choice is going to help me clarify my priorities. And it's true. I'm clear that this means I'm committing more to my future counsling career, and to my family. Which is so absolutely the right thing to do. The corporate world is not healthy.
Sigh. Change is kinda hard, even when it's good.
peg
Posted by Dinah on February 23, 2007, at 11:23:08
In reply to New old job - feeling giddy and grieving (long), posted by pegasus on February 23, 2007, at 9:14:32
> Sigh. Change is kinda hard, even when it's good.
>
> pegI hear ya.
I think I'd interpret the job transfer a little differently. I'd see it as the higher ups appreciate having you there so much that they're willing to pay you more than they ordinarily pay in that position just to keep you from quitting.
There are lots of ways to gain (and measure) the appreciation of others than to be a high powered professional woman. You're on your way to a lot of that right now through your studies. And I think if you look, you'll see that you've gained it in your current position in your current company.
Plus all the benefits to family, future career, and stress reduction makes this seem to me like a dream come true.
But I *certainly* understand that even good change is scary.
Posted by maree on June 19, 2008, at 1:46:22
In reply to Re: New old job - feeling giddy and grieving (long » pegasus, posted by Dinah on February 23, 2007, at 11:23:08
Yes, I understand that a demotion is a blow to your pride, but, that is all. No reduction in salary, or conditions, AND it sounds like it is a job that you would rather do. I would be thrilled if that happened to me, but, then, too, I do not like responsibility.
It certainly sounds like you would be happier in the new job...being amongst people you like, and not having to answer to a dud boss, and happier for you means happier for your family and friends, since it is, in this current life, virtually impossible to separate work from home.
Years ago, I left a high pressure job for a less demanding job that paid a lot less, but I was happy to do that because the new job was a job that I knew that I would love, AND it meant no unpaid overtime, so that I could spend more time with my partner and my dog (surrogate child), and not having to cut short activities that I loved.
Although work was, and still would be, if I could work now, the most important thing in my life to me, that was only because I was not getting fulfilment at home, getting out of the long working hours enabled me to build a life away from work that gave me satisfaction, AND I could choose the people with whom I wanted to spend my time, and not have to suck up to people who irritated me.
This is the end of the thread.
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