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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by wishingstar on February 7, 2007, at 21:59:29
As most of you know, I'm starting my new job at a community mental health agency on Monday. I'm doing intensive in-home counseling work for families in crisis.
Have any of you ever decided to disclose your "issues" (for lack of a better word) at work? Have you considered it? Or would you never do it?
I'm a bit torn on how to handle this. My intuition tells me to say nothing, and that will definitely be what I do at least in the beginning. I have some flexibiliy in setting my own hours, but I'm concerned that therapy twice a week plus med visits every few weeks might start to be noticable or get in the way of things at work. I'm picturing myself in the situation where my coworkers want to meet about a case, or visit a client, at a certain time, and us having to find a different time because of my appts. My concern is that if that starts happening frequently, I'm going to feel pressed to give a reason (even though I know I wouldnt HAVE to) since we have the same caseload (so it's obvious I'm not with another client).
In my last job, I made up a story about having to get injections... I get chronic kidney stones and allowed everyone to think it was related to that. But that was only once a week, and I was lucky that no one ever pressed me as to what the heck theyd be injectng me with related to kidney stones.
If I were to disclose my situation, it'd be VERY vague, just that I suffer from depression and am being treated. But there is obviously a lot of stigma attached to that.. although hopefully it wouldnt be as bad working in a mental health agency.
Of course I definitely wont bring it up if it never becomes a problem. I guess I'm just trying to think ahead at this point, just in case. Has anyone had any experiences with this either way? Even for those who havent, I'd be interested to hear what you all think.
Posted by Dinah on February 8, 2007, at 10:10:22
In reply to Disclosure at work, posted by wishingstar on February 7, 2007, at 21:59:29
I doubt my experiences can be generalized. My employers have known me since I was a kid. (I still can't stop calling them Mr. xxxx despite appeals from some of them to do so.)
Everyone in my office knows everything that's going on with everyone. Even the people who haven't been there forever.
But again, I don't think that's generalizable to a larger office.
Posted by TexasChic on February 8, 2007, at 19:52:33
In reply to Re: Disclosure at work » wishingstar, posted by Dinah on February 8, 2007, at 10:10:22
My discloser was part of the reason I was fired at my job a few years back. You really have no reason whatsoever to have to tell these people anything. You have frequent doctors appointments? Who cares? Its none of their business. And if someone is rude enough to ask I'd tell them that. Or at least that its personal and you really don't care to share that information. What can they say to that? What if you had cancer or something and didn't want to share that info? Pretend that's what it is. You may feel uncomfortable for a little while, but if you stand your ground they will eventually lose interest and move on to someone else's business. People will try to make you do what they want by being flat out rude because they now you're too polite to say anything. But if they can be so rude as to demand personal information then you have every right to tell them you'd rather not share that information. Then just look at them (while they look incredulous that you could be so RUDE) until they back down. I realize this is very very hard for people like us, but if you can just make yourself do it once I guarantee it will never be that hard again. NO ONE has the right to insist you tell them your personal business. And the mature people will never even ask.
-T
Posted by TexasChic on February 8, 2007, at 20:05:43
In reply to Re: Disclosure at work, posted by TexasChic on February 8, 2007, at 19:52:33
When I said that about pretending its cancer I meant because we have the tendency to consider our illness as lesser than others. I hope that makes sense. It came out sounding weird and inappropriate.
-T
Posted by lcat10 on February 10, 2007, at 23:05:17
In reply to Disclosure at work, posted by wishingstar on February 7, 2007, at 21:59:29
As a psychologist with more recent problems with depression and possibly going to get ECT, I have to say there is no way I would tell new people I work with, even people in the mental health field, that I was seeing someone for therapy and taking psychotropic medicaitions. Do not think for one minute that they will be more receptive than others. I have been in my current position for 10 years and when I developed a whole host of medical problems and got depressed, I was able to to frame things in such a way as to say to co-workers, I got depressed and so decided to see somneone about meds. No problem; everyone understood that with so many medical stuff happening at once, who wouldn't be depressed. Nevertheless, there is no way I will tell them I am getting ECT. I will be off work, and my doctor is writing a letter that is vague and does not really say what the "medical procedures" are that I will be getting. Neither does he mention that he is a psychiatrist. Some things are just not understood by folks even in the mental health field.
Posted by wishingstar on February 11, 2007, at 11:05:44
In reply to Re: Disclosure at work » wishingstar, posted by lcat10 on February 10, 2007, at 23:05:17
Thanks everyone for your responses. I posted this and then managed to forget I'd done it, so I just now got back to it. Sorry for the delay.
I guess I dont really fear that theyll demand to know where I'm going or what's going on. I'm part-time and have flexibility in my schedule, but I still imagine there will be instances in which I cant be there due to appts when theyd like me there. Not the end of the world at all the first few times, but after awhile, I think I'm going to want to give a reason (even if its not the true one). Youre right texaschic, it's none of their business. I totally agree. But I think I'd be very uncomfortable just leaving it at some very basic bit of information ("I cant be here") frequently, knowing they were wondering. I dont feel required or obligated to tell though.
Thanks for your perspective from within the field lcat. Its so strange that even people working in mental health have these reactions. You'd think theyd understand it more. Personally, I cant imagine looking down on/firing/harassing/etc anyone because they told me they were getting mental health treatment. But not everyone is the same obivously. Even if I disclose some information, it certainly wont be detailed. I think I'd just say something about "I have depression and I'm being treated for that". The end.
The job starts tomorrow, and I'm certainly not even considering making any decisions about this yet. I'll have to wait and see if/when it becomes a problem, get to know my boss better to guage what would be best to tell him, etc. After reading what you all wrote I'm leaning towards not mentioning depression though. Perhaps if I do feel like I need to give some reason, I'll just do what I did this past summer and make up an ongoing medical thing to be "treated for". Texaschic, I totally understood what you mean about cancer. I dont think Id use something like that... something more like the kidney-related injection stories I used this summer. Something no one would worry or think twice about. Do you think that sounds best? Wait and see, I guess. Thanks everyone.
Posted by Maxime on May 25, 2007, at 22:37:30
In reply to Disclosure at work, posted by wishingstar on February 7, 2007, at 21:59:29
"They" say the stigma re. depression isn't as bad as it used to be. I don't know who "they" are, but they are wrong.
I disclosed the information once and it backfired on me. I had to go into the hospital for a med change. When I returned to work I was dealing with side effects from the meds. One day I was called in my manager's office and there was someone from HR there. They gave me letter stating that I was showing signs of being unstable and that they were putting me on sick leave without pay (it was a contract). Of course I was forced to quit.
I know what they did was illegal. But I was too tired to fight for my rights. I was struggling with meds and it was too much. I should have fought back, but I didn't.
I will NEVER reveal the information again. People do not understand depression.
Maxime
Posted by cloudydaze on August 20, 2007, at 17:07:44
In reply to Re: Disclosure at work, posted by Maxime on May 25, 2007, at 22:37:30
I've always wondered when would be the right time to disclose information about my mental state to my employer, if ever.
I kind of regret not telling my last employer about my problems. I wonder if things would have turned out differently.
Apparently employers are supposed to treat it like a disability and make special arrangements if necessary (less distraction, working from home sometimes, if needed) and if you think you've been let go because of it, then you can file a lawsuit.
I would have never gotten through college if I hadn't disclosed my "disability" to one of my professors. He could have easily flunked me. Instead, he said I could work from home when I needed to, and to let him know if I was having trouble. He ended up being a very positive mentor for me.
But I have no idea if it could work out in a work situation. I always feel the need to tell people, because otherwise they probably think I'm stupid. I'd rather be crazy than stupid, I guess.
This is the end of the thread.
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