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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Bailey777 on May 31, 2008, at 9:21:42
Hi all -
I've been struggling with alcohol abuse for over 10 years now and I have had bouts got giving it up for a few weeks at a time. I done this though talk therapy and reading boards and blogs. I went to one AA meeting and it was ok. But I didn't feel like I fit in. I thinking of reconsidering however, and this is why. I find that my closest network of family also have drinking problems. Or they drink a lot and don't have any desire to quit. For people who have been sober, did you ultimately feel that you could no longer be around drinkers? Not just in friend, but a family member you were close too.
I am realizing that the relationships that I have are detrimental to me becoming a sober person. Has anyone given up on these relationships?
thanks
Posted by ClearSkies on May 31, 2008, at 22:23:16
In reply to Want to quit drinking, but, posted by Bailey777 on May 31, 2008, at 9:21:42
> Hi all -
>
> I've been struggling with alcohol abuse for over 10 years now and I have had bouts got giving it up for a few weeks at a time. I done this though talk therapy and reading boards and blogs. I went to one AA meeting and it was ok. But I didn't feel like I fit in. I thinking of reconsidering however, and this is why. I find that my closest network of family also have drinking problems. Or they drink a lot and don't have any desire to quit. For people who have been sober, did you ultimately feel that you could no longer be around drinkers? Not just in friend, but a family member you were close too.
>
> I am realizing that the relationships that I have are detrimental to me becoming a sober person. Has anyone given up on these relationships?
>
> thanksThat's a really good question. My spouse, when I asked him to curtail his drinking around me, had no problem in putting it aside. His other family members who have their own problems and issues with drinking I find are still triggers for me - and I'm going on 3 years of sobriety.
I've found that I have had to really restrict the amount of time that I expose myself to their company. Sometimes it helps if I keep my car keys in my pocket, to remind myself that I actually can leave if I feel too uncomfortable. It's not my place to explain my situation to them (in some cases they are much much older than myself and utterly incapable of comprehending that their own drinking is a problem for themselves and for those close to them). That's something that they have to discover for themselves.
The answer is that you have to keep yourself safe - and if you have a good relationship with your family, you might be able to explain to them how their drinking makes it harder to you to stay sober. But if they are in the midst of their own addictions, this discussion probably won't go over too well, and you can probably judge that for yourself from where you are right now.
A good resource for family members is Al Anon, which is for those whose spouses or parents are struggling with addiction. I sought them out when I was a young teenager, before I had even tried drinking. They were compassionate and had wise words for me, but at the time my family life was fast disintegrating, and I wasn't able to sustain any continuity until many years later when I faced my own addiction problems.
And, there are alternatives to AA out there. If you're a female you might want to try Women For Sobriety, who helped me a great deal, particularly in my earliest sobriety.
There's lots of support here, too.
Good luck
ClearSkies
Posted by Bailey777 on June 5, 2008, at 7:10:51
In reply to Re: Want to quit drinking, but » Bailey777, posted by ClearSkies on May 31, 2008, at 22:23:16
Thanks so much for replying. You offer good advice too. I think having your keys in your pocket is good advice. And I have also found that if I have my nights planned out beforehand I am less vulnerable to the first drink, which inevitably will turn into a bottle of wine... I have contact WFS and am waiting for a packet in the mail.
With regard to WFS, what are their meetings like? Thanks in advance -- Bailey
Posted by ClearSkies on June 5, 2008, at 8:18:04
In reply to Re: Want to quit drinking, but, posted by Bailey777 on June 5, 2008, at 7:10:51
> With regard to WFS, what are their meetings like? Thanks in advance -- BaileyTheir meetings are based on the the "New Life" acceptance program, a series of affirmations that are read aloud at the beginning. Then usually one affirmation is chosen by a member as how they relate to it during the previous week's experiences.
Here's a link to the affirmations:
http://www.womenforsobriety.org/wfs_program.html
It's recommended that members get up a bit earlier than the other people in your house so you can do some meditation - spend time on just yourself - before plunging into the day. It's all really about seeing our sobriety as a strength and a sign of competence, and building each day on that strength.
It's quite empowering. There is an annual conference that takes place too at their headquarters, although I've never had the chance to go. Another similar resource is the "Women Healing" conferences that the Hazelden organization runs at various places throughout the country. It's a 2-day event geared towards professionals in the field of recovery, but day 2 is always open to any woman in recovery.
Here's a link to the Women Healing conference:
http://www.hazelden.org/web/public/womenhealing.page
ClearSkies
Posted by oldschool305 on November 17, 2008, at 19:58:42
In reply to Want to quit drinking, but, posted by Bailey777 on May 31, 2008, at 9:21:42
Today I am one week sober. I also tried AA before but I didn't gain anything out of it. The only way that I can quit drinking is if I stop hanging out with people who drink. I cannot see others drinking or else I will want to join them. I have family that are alcoholics but I don't ever see them, they live in another state. I live with my mother who is a non-drinker so that is good. I am a musician and a lot of our gigs are at bars so I know that will be rough. I've been hanging with non-drinkers this past week and have been actually having a good time, sober! I can't believe it. Anyways, thats my story... I hope to god I can quit drinking for good this time... get my life in control, health, friends, job, etc. Alcohol has ruined my life, but hopefully I can get it back on track. Best of luck to you too!! We can do it. People, Places, Things!!
xoXOxo
-C
Posted by aminated on December 16, 2008, at 14:19:47
In reply to Re: Want to quit drinking, but, posted by oldschool305 on November 17, 2008, at 19:58:42
Have you tried naloxone/naltrexone? It's a pill that blocks (beta-) enkephalin (endorphin) receptors, and thus for most people blocks the desire for (because it blocks the effect of) alcohol. Just a thought. Best of luck.
--Matt
Posted by ross2009 on October 26, 2009, at 9:20:08
In reply to Re: Want to quit drinking, but, posted by aminated on December 16, 2008, at 14:19:47
try a supplement called amphetarestore. it's a detoxifying agent. it might help you with the withdrawal as well.
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