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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by ClearSkies on November 2, 2007, at 20:34:12
Well, I've been going to a new local chapter of a women's sobriety meeting, and so far I'm the only person, besides the moderator, who has come back to more than one meeting.
And then last night there was a suggestion that someone who relapses isn't serious about sobriety, at which I took offense, and said so. "I think that's pretty belittling," is what I said, "Considering that relapse in addiction is known to be the rule rather than the exception." In other words, it takes most of us drunks several attempts at sobriety before we get it right, but it's not a reflection of how much we desire it. It means that we haven't yet learned the necessary skills to deal with our triggers, or what to do with ourselves instead of drinking.
I'm just not comfortable with the moderator. She is coming across all wrong to me - like sobriety is some elite group that you have to learn the secret handshake to before you can really enjoy it and reap the benefits. It's a hinky feeling on my part, but I think the fact that we don't have anybody coming back after a single meeting means that they're being put off too.
I've got the alternative of a yoga and group therapy evening opening up for the same night coming up. I was going to dismiss it out of hand because of this prior commitment (and find yet another "reason" to avoid doing yoga!), but now that I've thought about it for a day, I'm thinking that as one door is opening for me, I can leave this poor fit of a sobriety meeting behind and maybe strike out on my own at a later date, which was my original plan.
Instincts. I have instincts, and I can follow them, when I choose to listen to them. Right now mine are fairly screaming at me to drop this particular fight - I'm not about to change this lady's viewpoint, and she's not about to get a regular group of people coming back every week, as long as she keeps talking to them the way she does...
CS
Posted by ClearSkies on November 7, 2007, at 8:35:30
In reply to Judgemental alcoholics, posted by ClearSkies on November 2, 2007, at 20:34:12
I sent an email saying I wouldn't be at this week's meeting because I'm picking someone up at the airport. (True, but doing so wouldn't have conflicted with the meeting time.) Sigh. I'm such an avoidant coward. But I guess it will do until I'm ready to actually have a discussion with the moderator lady, if I'm ever ready to do that. Maybe I'll just run away like everyone else does...
Posted by oldschool305 on November 9, 2007, at 13:37:36
In reply to Judgemental alcoholics, posted by ClearSkies on November 2, 2007, at 20:34:12
i really would love to attend one of those women's sobriety meetings... i wonder if they have one in my area? i really need help, and AA actually triggered me to wanting more alcohol. if u care to know my problem, scroll up to the thread "Re: Alcohol - Addiction - HELP"... i posted a follow up to someones topic with my problem. i feel so horrible right now, im withdrawing very badly. maybe i should have let the paramedics take me to the hospital last night, but i was scared and embarassed. im always alone, so i think what i need is a support group. i can't do it alone, once i get the urges to drink and i am bored, home alone... i run to publix and buy a 6 pack, which leads to a 12+hr binge of drinking, which lands me into a hypoglycemic nightmare. ugh... why do we crave something that hurts us so much.. i just don't get it =(
Posted by ClearSkies on November 9, 2007, at 14:49:06
In reply to Re: Judgemental alcoholics, posted by oldschool305 on November 9, 2007, at 13:37:36
I read your posts above and boy, can I relate to how you're feeling. And my experiences with AA were similar (except I tried and tried, different meetings, different cities, even after I moved across country), being terribly triggered and being worse off after than I was before.
Try Googling the Women For Sobriety organization - I think they have an online form or a number to call and they contact you via snail mail about the closest local meeting to you. They also have a chat forum you can use.
I can also tell you what helped me, ultimately: I entered an intensive outpatient treatment, which was 6 weeks of 6PM to 9PM, Monday through Thursday, basically of group therapy, with other people battling substance abuse issues in various stages of recovery. This was covered by my insurance. I also went on Campral (acamprosate) which removed the physical cravings and did not interfere with my other medications, for a year and a half. I continued with my individual therapy, to this day. You might say that I put all the guns possible on my recovery - this particular combination is what has worked for me. I've been sober now for 2 years and 2 months. I wish I had a dollar for every person I met in AA who told me that "theirs" was the only way I'd be able to do it. The damage to my already low self esteem was severe. But I've recovered from that, too.
Good for you for reaching out here. I think Babble is a great place to get support. I hope that you find it a valuable resource.
Take care,
ClearSkies
This is the end of the thread.
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