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Posted by corafree on September 29, 2006, at 9:33:55
My life is so awful, I'm taking Vicodin not to feel 'the awful'. I have a scrip for breakthrough c-spine pain, but wasn't having any pain there. I'm freakin' lonely. I want a man in my life .. a good man. I'm worthy. I'm just scared of them. I had a dream last night and I was at my first love's house and he was there w/ his wife. Someone asked me where I lived and I said I didn't know. I don't know in a sorta, kinda, way. I know I don't like it. I don't like that my daughter (and babies) are livin' a mile away and prob' doin' meth w/ my abusive-ex. I don't like that my son lives there too and won't visit me. I do like that my other other daughter lives five miles away and is a school teacher married to a preacher's son. I still don't know why I here and alone. I just ended up here and alone. I'm so confused. I go see my P today. Shall I go back on an AD? OHHHHH I'm so sick of them. But I'm falling back, I can feel it. Do I need one again? Isn't the Valium and Xanax enough? I better drink some coffee. I hope one of my friends here will see my post and tell me who I am and where I live. I hate where I live. I hate my life. Does anyone want to meet me? A good man. Really. I'm really a girl w/ more than 'a good personality'.(?) Can I say that here? Am I in trouble? Someone yell at me or something please. I'll start drinkin' coffee and hope to hear from someone. I'm lonely.
love, cf
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