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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 54 to 78 of 86. Go back in thread:
Posted by just so sad on March 2, 2005, at 10:52:57
In reply to I'm *really* no good at this » crushedout, posted by partlycloudy on March 2, 2005, at 9:02:39
If we were good at this, we wouldn't be looking for help from each other! Don't beat yourself up. I had bloodwork to get done this morning, so last night I had a *bottle* of wine after two days of no alcohol at all, and I think subconsiously I want to get some bad news - you know, that my liver is shot or something horrendous, to scare me into quitting. But back to you - just keep trying - I know how hard it is when that little voice in your head is saying not to drink, while your hands are opening the bottle...
Sad
Posted by crushedout on March 2, 2005, at 10:54:46
In reply to I'm *really* no good at this » crushedout, posted by partlycloudy on March 2, 2005, at 9:02:39
PC,
I'm really glad you don't see it as a failure. Slips are supposed to be a part of recovery, so maybe you can see this as progress and learn from whatever happened. I guess also the "deadline" method of quitting might not work for everyone.
I just think that usually the waking up after a bad night of drinking and quitting when you're regretful seems like an ineffective way to quit.
Can folks think of alternatives? I bet there are some, but I can't think of what they would be.
PC, maybe you weren't ready even though you thought you were? Or maybe you are but you wanted to rebel for one night, or test the waters? What do you think? Do you want to keep trying the sobriety thing with me?
I'll be ok either way. I'm pretty firmly committed to not drinking at this point. I have a way of doing things very firmly once I decide (it takes me forever sometimes to make a decision though). But I welcome your company.
Posted by AuntieMel on March 2, 2005, at 11:29:45
In reply to I'm *really* no good at this » crushedout, posted by partlycloudy on March 2, 2005, at 9:02:39
Were you rebellious as a kid? I was - out of self defense mostly, but rebellious for sure.
The one thing that kept me drinking longer was being nagged by family members. They, by golly, weren't going to dictate what I do! I'll show them!
Maybe deadlines do the same thing to you? 'I'll do it when I'm darn good and ready, not because of some arbitrary date.'
Of course the little addiction critter in our head will always tell us it's not time. It's the critter's job. Our job is to tell the critter to go take a flying <insert favorite word here>
Posted by just so sad on March 2, 2005, at 11:54:37
In reply to Re: I'm *really* no good at this » partlycloudy, posted by AuntieMel on March 2, 2005, at 11:29:45
Posted by partlycloudy on March 2, 2005, at 12:00:48
In reply to PC - want to talk in Open? (nm), posted by just so sad on March 2, 2005, at 11:54:37
Posted by partlycloudy on March 2, 2005, at 12:24:51
In reply to Re: I'm *really* no good at this » partlycloudy, posted by AuntieMel on March 2, 2005, at 11:29:45
WhenI was a kid, I was always good at cowering, and taking blame. Rebellion for me has always been internal and self destructive - like this drinking thing is.
I think I will go back to the sneaking up on sobriety tactic that worked last week. I'll get that bugger.
pc
Posted by partlycloudy on March 2, 2005, at 13:07:05
In reply to PC - want to talk in Open? (nm), posted by just so sad on March 2, 2005, at 11:54:37
Let me know if you want to talk more about your vacation!
Posted by just so sad on March 2, 2005, at 14:29:07
In reply to Just So Sad, posted by partlycloudy on March 2, 2005, at 13:07:05
I will - but my day just got crazy so it'll have to be later - would we arrange a time/place in open?? Also I need to think of a way to tell my hubby I'm going to have coffee with someone once we arrive...I know he'll have an opinion about it(negative).
Posted by partlycloudy on March 2, 2005, at 14:44:03
In reply to Re: Just So Sad » partlycloudy, posted by just so sad on March 2, 2005, at 14:29:07
sure, how about 7pm tonight again? And my husband had the same reaction - who wouldn't? - until he met NikkiT2 and he said:
"but she is so Normal!!"
...not that someone would have that reaction upon meeting *me*! But, hey - whatever is the least stressful for you, is OK with me :) And the only reason that he didn't say the same thing when I met up with Racer is because he wasn't with me - but he also wasn't concerned by then.It's pretty cool to meet another babbler face to face, though. And meeting at a Starbucks is a nice, public, safe place to meet up.
We'll talk later.
pc
Posted by just so sad on March 2, 2005, at 17:04:35
In reply to Re: Just So Sad, posted by partlycloudy on March 2, 2005, at 14:44:03
I'm out tonight - I'll check in with you tomorrow. It's great you understand!
Sad
Posted by partlycloudy on March 4, 2005, at 7:10:14
In reply to Re: Just So Sad » partlycloudy, posted by just so sad on March 2, 2005, at 17:04:35
It's a wobbly wagon, but it's all I have.
Posted by antigua on March 4, 2005, at 10:16:35
In reply to And it's Day 2... » just so sad, posted by partlycloudy on March 4, 2005, at 7:10:14
I've been out of touch lately, but I wanted to throw my support your way once I read this thread. You can do it! I know you can. I have faith in you. I've been working on this for 20 months now. I've certainly had my share of slips, but I just keep on trying. Once you get some time behind you (and you've been there, right?) you will feel more confident.
I've had to watch out for success too, though, when my life seems to be going relatively "fine" and then I have a really bad episode. (But it's been more than six months now!) That's the way it works for me sometimes. My T pointed out success is probably more dangerous than failure for me, as it triggers so many things. You just have to be constantly vigilent, at least in the beginning I have to be. Sometimes when I'm in the car (so nobody can hear me) and the urge is so overwhelming, I just scream at the addiction monster and drown him out (of course it's a he) so that I can drive past the liquor store w/o stopping.
Just pick yourself up and keep trying.
Sorry to sound bossy, but I know how much you want this. You have done so incredibly well this past year and I have faith in you. Remember, you are not alone, and other people have licked this and you can too.best,
antigua
Posted by AuntieMel on March 4, 2005, at 10:27:35
In reply to And it's Day 2... » just so sad, posted by partlycloudy on March 4, 2005, at 7:10:14
I went to family night on Wednesday and people were cheering on the folks with 8 days as much as or more than those with many, many more.
Think of a ruler, but one with most of the numbers scrunched into the beginning, gradually getting further and further apart. The ruler is 12 inches long. This represents the first year of sobriety.
Of the 12 months, 90 percent of the pain is in the first nine months.
Of the first 9 months, 90 percent of the pain is in the first 6 months.
Of the first 6 months, 90 percent of the pain is in the first three months.
In the first 3 months, 90 percent of the pain is in the first month.
And in the first month, 90 percent of the pain is in the first week.
So - after the first week, you've handled 60% of the pain of the first year.
By the first month you've handled 66%. By the third you've handled 73%, 81% by six months, and so on.
Bottom line is that more than half the battle is the first week.
You are 2/7 of the way to saying you've fought half the battle.
Concentrate on that, and don't think of two days as nothing.
Posted by just so sad on March 4, 2005, at 10:29:46
In reply to Re: And it's Day 2... » partlycloudy, posted by antigua on March 4, 2005, at 10:16:35
Hey - how did you do last night? I had another bottle of wine. We have these huge glasses, and one bottle is only 3 glasses. I think - no, I SWEAR TO YOU - from now on I'm using the old Candian Tire glasses!
Good luck tonight - the weekends are the worst, eh?
God - I'm so canadian today!
Posted by crushedout on March 4, 2005, at 10:37:15
In reply to Re: And it's Day 2..., posted by just so sad on March 4, 2005, at 10:29:46
PC, I think it's great that you jumped back on. That's the best thing you could have done. No matter how wobbly you feel, you're trying to do this, to take care of yourself.I think antigua's post was right on.
Me, I guess I'm on Day 4 now. Not drinking is not the hard part. Being alive is. I'm a mess. Really freaked out about my life and having a heck of a time getting out of bed. All I want to do is hide under the covers.
Posted by partlycloudy on March 4, 2005, at 10:43:47
In reply to Re: And it's Day 2..., posted by just so sad on March 4, 2005, at 10:29:46
Do you still get the Canadian Tire money with the Scottish guy on it? I thought the stuff was real when I was a kid.
We have these "white wine" glasses that will take a half a bottle at a time.I will probably be posting a lot this weekend. My husband has to work out of town.
"Danger, Will Robinson! Danger" (arms flailing)
pc
Posted by partlycloudy on March 4, 2005, at 10:46:54
In reply to Re: And it's Day 2... » partlycloudy, posted by antigua on March 4, 2005, at 10:16:35
I'm not afraid of success so much as unprepared for it. When I was sober for a year (OMG, really?) it was the only thing going right in my life at that time. Now I have so much going for me in every respect except for this drinking thang. It's a part of me that is sabotaging my good intentions.
But I'm not giving up. Being sober feels good.
thanks so much, Antigua.
Posted by partlycloudy on March 4, 2005, at 10:49:50
In reply to Re: And it's Day 2... » partlycloudy, posted by AuntieMel on March 4, 2005, at 10:27:35
In cars, you know how you have a J*s*s handle, one that you hang on to on the passenger door side during a wild ride and yell, "J*s*s!!"?
I want one of those right now.
But like I said to Antigua, it does feel good to be sober. At least you're feeling something.
pc
Posted by AuntieMel on March 4, 2005, at 13:44:00
In reply to Re: And it's Day 2... » just so sad, posted by partlycloudy on March 4, 2005, at 10:43:47
You've got my number if you need a human voice.
Posted by partlycloudy on March 4, 2005, at 14:50:04
In reply to Re: And it's Day 2... » partlycloudy, posted by AuntieMel on March 4, 2005, at 13:44:00
I'm sitting at my little receptionist desk and in walks this saleman. Spent his lunch at the bar. Reeked of smoke. Started his talk, went on like a steam train for AGES. Eyes weren't focusing. The odour of booze, b.o. and stale smoke is still hanging around my area.
I was frozen. This was my dad, resurrected. Guy looked like 70 but couldn't have been over 55. I felt like a deer caught in the headlights. Three people in the office (including the owner) came to my rescue, distracting him. I was sweating and shaking. First panic attack I've had in a while.
Now I feel like I'm going to puke. Was this the ghost of xmas past or xmas future?
I know that I just saw a dead man.
I am freaking out.
Posted by just so sad on March 4, 2005, at 16:07:14
In reply to Thanks. Just had a b-a-a-a-d experience :( » AuntieMel, posted by partlycloudy on March 4, 2005, at 14:50:04
how horrible for you - can't think what to say to make you feel better, so ((((partlycloudy))).
Posted by just so sad on March 5, 2005, at 16:59:21
In reply to Re: Thanks. Just had a b-a-a-a-d experience :( » partlycloudy, posted by just so sad on March 4, 2005, at 16:07:14
Posted by partlycloudy on March 6, 2005, at 7:31:29
In reply to How's the weekend going PC? (nm), posted by just so sad on March 5, 2005, at 16:59:21
So far so good. I think I may even venture out of the house today... a walk on the beach seems in order.
Posted by just so sad on March 6, 2005, at 12:57:59
In reply to Re: How's the weekend going PC? » just so sad, posted by partlycloudy on March 6, 2005, at 7:31:29
GREAT JOB!!!! I'm so envious. I have had a bottle of wine every night since Tuesday. I'm going to try and not drink at all today, as I'm feeling quite bright compared to usual. I actually cooked breakfast this morning !!! AND am running laundry AND, bigger yet, I actually THOUGHT about taking the dog for a walk - it was so nice and sunny. But now it's overcast and guess what? The feeling's gone. May make myself go anyway. Anyway, as for hooking up when I'm in town, do you want to babblemail me your phone number so I can call if we are in your area? I'd have to turn it on (and would need instructions on how!!). Let me know. And continued success with the not drinking!!
Posted by just so sad on March 6, 2005, at 15:37:35
In reply to Re: How's the weekend going PC?, posted by just so sad on March 6, 2005, at 12:57:59
Hey everyone - I actually took my dog for a walk - first time in over a year - I am feeling pretty good today...must be the sunshine that reappeared this afternoon. My dog was so happy - we used to go together for runs every day - now the kids have to take him 'cause I've had no energy/motivation etc. to be able to. Guilt-be-gone!
Not quite so sad (but still a drunk!)
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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