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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Wildflower on July 9, 2004, at 14:35:15
Have any of you had interventions from family members? I'm trying to find specific examples of confrontations that I can try to implement. My T refuses to help with the reasoning being that I already have too much to deal with. Her thought is that my mom is too far down the dangerous path to help right now and that I need to concentrate on myself.
Watching a family member suffer with alcoholism is killing me. The irony is that the more I watch the deteriation, the more I want to drink myself.
Posted by beatrix34 on July 11, 2004, at 21:34:17
In reply to Interventions, posted by Wildflower on July 9, 2004, at 14:35:15
I have not had any experience with this but I agree that you need to focus on you before you can even attempt to try and help someone else.
The worst part about this disease is that the person who is in active additcion (whether it be to drugs or alcohol) needs to be the one to want to quit or there is no way that it is going to happen. It's SO hard to watch someone you love deteriorate but really there is nothing you can do but to lead by example.
Have you tried Al-Anon or Nar-Anon before? These programs might help you.
Good luck!
Bea
Posted by Caper on July 11, 2004, at 22:21:39
In reply to Re: Interventions, posted by beatrix34 on July 11, 2004, at 21:34:17
Hi Wildflower,
I agree you need to focus on yourself first, for your own well-being and because you can't have any real control over anyone but yourself. In my opinion, it's not selfish or uncaring or anything like that to say "I have to take care of myself first before I can really help others." At least you've noticed her problem, and care enough to devote a lot of thought to how to help.
Regarding interventions though, I have to say that I wish SO much someone had done that for me. I wish someone had noticed and called me on my drinking. Eventually I got secretive about it of course, but for a long time I made no effort to hide it at all. I drank in front of my family day and night, but they never knew how much I drank I guess, or maybe they thought their "good girl" could never become an alcoholic. Sometimes I still get angry with them though-- how could they not know? Or did they just not allow themselves to know?
I've never participated in an actual intervention, but only because the relative about whom we were concerned would not listen to a word we said when we tried. We ended up trying to have him involuntarily committed, but he talked his way out of it. Without an admission of a problem and a willingness to get help, there was nothing else we could do for him until he was ready. (Which he finally was, just recently, thank goodness.)So in general I'd encourage a person considering an intervention to do it, but only if it's not going to be detrimental to that person's mental health and progress.
I wish you the very best of luck. Keep us posted and take care of yourself.
Caper
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