Shown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Caper on June 17, 2004, at 6:34:55
I know that probably sounds ridiculous to some people but it's true and I'm afraid AA might be the thing I need to maintain sobriety once I achieve it and so I want to get over this fear of AA if it's what I probably will need.
Any thoughts on this? If you think I need to get over the fear and give it a real chance, any advice or personal stories would be great. If you've done well without AA, how did you do it?
With the big book, it's the personal stories that make me crave. To be more precise, it's the beginnings of the personal stories, in which people (at least to me) almost seem to be describing a love affair/seduction with alcohol when they first started down the road to addiction.
I know this is weird but any thoughts or advice really would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
Caper
Posted by partlycloudy on June 17, 2004, at 14:59:50
In reply to AA scares me and the big book makes me crave...., posted by Caper on June 17, 2004, at 6:34:55
It was my experience that unless I was physically walked home safely from a meeting, I would otherwise find a drink. This started to happen after I had been sober and in AA for 9 months, and it scared me. I know what you mean about the stories in the Big Book, though. To describe the relationship with alcohol as a love affair is completely accurate, and that's how the stories sounded to me too.
In the end I had to pursue my own rocky path to sobriety. But I'm not afraid anymore about being able to do it.
Posted by beatrix34 on June 18, 2004, at 21:19:01
In reply to Re: AA scares me and the big book makes me crave.... » Caper, posted by partlycloudy on June 17, 2004, at 14:59:50
What about trying NA? The book is a little more seperated between the steps and the personal stories. It worked for me anyway..good luck. Keep trying, it gets easier.
Posted by helenag on June 18, 2004, at 21:54:39
In reply to AA scares me and the big book makes me crave...., posted by Caper on June 17, 2004, at 6:34:55
For seven years, I went to AA meetings, some years more regularly than other years. I was never comfortable with the material. The people were, for the most part, kind and concerned, yet they sounded so much alike. Somehow after several months of regular attendance, I would begin to sound like just them and less like myself.
Sobriety was elusive.The religiousity of the program does not sit right with me. I know AA says it is a spiritual program, yet it is a Christian based religious spiritual program.
Those who find what they need there should, by all means, remain.
I chose, finally, to accept my doctor's offer for Antabuse and attend a program for patients with emotional intensity disorder.
I hope this continues to be a road for me.
Posted by Impermanence on June 22, 2004, at 2:21:10
In reply to AA scares me and the big book makes me crave...., posted by Caper on June 17, 2004, at 6:34:55
I to am afrid of AA, well I'm afrid of evrything to be honost. The very idea of standing up in front of a group of people and telling them how messed up you really are is terrifying, but it dose work Caper. I think when you admit how little control you have over evil alcohol to a bunch of strangers, you really admit to yourself how weak your are. You will get support and friendship from these people, they will help and guide you with the experience they have gone through or are going through. AA is there to help you not condemn you. You're going through hell now Caper, I feel your pain. AA will not make you worse, it can only make you better. Trust in the people you will meet, listen to their stories, learn from them and let them help you. They are there for you, not there to judge you.
Lots of love xxx
Posted by Caper on June 24, 2004, at 16:41:02
In reply to Re: AA scares me and the big book makes me crave.., posted by helenag on June 18, 2004, at 21:54:39
Thanks to all who took the time to address my "AA phobia" concerns. I'm still undecided about whether or not it will work for me (or if I'll have the guts to try it again) but I truly appreciate the information and personal experiences you all have shared.
Take care of yourselves,
Caper
Posted by lorily on July 8, 2004, at 9:41:06
In reply to AA scares me and the big book makes me crave...., posted by Caper on June 17, 2004, at 6:34:55
Caper,
The personal stories are there for people to relate to. The first 165 pages are about how the program works. Don't start anywhere but the preface. Also, there's a GREAT site on msn, a sponsors guide back to the big book. It's this guy, Michael, going through the book and explaining things as a sponsor would, how his sponsor did. I've gone through the work with someone personally already, and I find this site wonderful.
Posted by Caper on July 8, 2004, at 16:23:58
In reply to Re: AA scares me and the big book makes me crave...., posted by lorily on July 8, 2004, at 9:41:06
lorily,
Thanks for information, I'll check it out. I know I can't honestly say I've given AA a decent try, so I'm going to try again. I'm actually sitting beside a phone number of a woman with 11 years sobriety, and she's willing to help me get to meetings. My therapist got me her number, now all I have to do is call.
I'm still scared, but I was scared when I skydived the first time and it turned out to be amazing. I'd hate to think I can jump out of a plane on purpose but lack the guts to go into a meeting of people who just want to help themselves and others!
I'm going to call her tonight.
Thanks for your support. Take care,
Caper
> Caper,
> The personal stories are there for people to relate to. The first 165 pages are about how the program works. Don't start anywhere but the preface. Also, there's a GREAT site on msn, a sponsors guide back to the big book. It's this guy, Michael, going through the book and explaining things as a sponsor would, how his sponsor did. I've gone through the work with someone personally already, and I find this site wonderful.
Posted by lorily on July 8, 2004, at 17:35:07
In reply to Re: AA scares me and the big book makes me crave.... » lorily, posted by Caper on July 8, 2004, at 16:23:58
Caper,
Good Luck and let me know how you're doing.
Lorily
This is the end of the thread.
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