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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Wildflower on May 5, 2004, at 15:21:54
I've been very afraid to confront this topic but I feel it's time I face the demon...
Alcoholism runs in my family. My maternal grandfather was one and my mother is one but she hides it. I'm just worried that I'm predisposed to it especially in a depressed state.
Does anyone have any personal stories they can share or a website that may help give me some statistics on this? I do not want to become one too but from what I understand, this may not be enough to keep me from falling into the family trap.
Posted by Impermanence on May 5, 2004, at 18:58:37
In reply to Alcoholism runs in the family, posted by Wildflower on May 5, 2004, at 15:21:54
I'm an alcoholic and I'm adopted with no knowledge of my biological perents so I guess there was no point replying to this post. I'm coming up on a few e's right now so I'll make this short.. You will drink because you want to drink regardless of your family tree, you have a choice. It has always and will always be up to you!!!
Posted by beatrix34 on May 5, 2004, at 21:13:58
In reply to Alcoholism runs in the family, posted by Wildflower on May 5, 2004, at 15:21:54
My father was an alcholic and I also have alcoholism on my mother's side of the family. I am the eldest of 2 sisters in my family and I discovered that I had the same pattern of alcohol abuse as my father did...which is wierd because I hadn't lived with him since I was 5 years old. So I am a firm believer that it can be passed down genetically but my sister is a perfectly normal social drinker. Just because it runs in your family does not mean that you will automatically become an alcoholic. Just moniter your patterns with drinking, for me I was a binge drinker, I realised it was an issue when I started doing things that I wouldn't otherwise do when I was sober...and things that go against my beliefs and morals on a normal/sober day. Once I started drinking I wouldn't stop until I was loaded...it's different for everyone. If you search alcoholism on the web I'm sure you'll find a "test" that you can do...good luck, I hope you are able to get to a comfortable place with this. There is also a group called Al-Anon that you will find in the phone book that is a support for children of alcoholic parents. It's a good place to try and get some clarity...sending you all good thoughts.
Bea
Posted by Fred23 on May 5, 2004, at 21:54:35
In reply to Alcoholism runs in the family, posted by Wildflower on May 5, 2004, at 15:21:54
Check out:
http://webpages.charter.net/rfhale/alcohol.htm
http://webpages.charter.net/rfhale/alcoholism.htmfor a lot of good info not seen elsewhere.
Also look at:
Posted by Wildflower on May 6, 2004, at 8:05:55
In reply to Re: Alcoholism runs in the family, posted by beatrix34 on May 5, 2004, at 21:13:58
Thanks Bea.
I have been noticing that I probably drink a little too much when I'm out socially. I haven't gotten to the point of drinking alone which is what I consider "the sign". I, too, do some things that I wouldn't do sober (liquid courage, right?).
Guess I'll just have to keep an eye on it...
Posted by partlycloudy on May 6, 2004, at 12:26:36
In reply to Alcoholism runs in the family, posted by Wildflower on May 5, 2004, at 15:21:54
My family has a fine tradition of alcoholism. It killed my dad (he was only 53), my big brother quit drinking, and I am not drinking either. I think the jury is still out on nature vs nuture, but my PERSONAL take is that there is a genetic disposition, and the behaviours you are raised with take it from there.
My other brother and my sister have never had a problem with it.
I was once told that if you think you're an alcoholic, you probably are.
best wishes,
partlycloudy
Posted by Tony P on May 11, 2004, at 13:55:37
In reply to Alcoholism runs in the family, posted by Wildflower on May 5, 2004, at 15:21:54
My mother and father (probably) weren't alcoholics, but my sister (that's 2/4 siblings) and a cousin are, and my grandfather may have had been an alcoholic or had a related disease - he wound up his life as a recluse in a shack in Florida.
For some statistics, see my post of this date under:
"Re: Why AA doesn't always work..underlying pathology". The Genetic component is not a sign of doom - it is just a warning signal, many do not go on to develop active disease. It's like diabetes or heart disease in the family: be aware of the warning signs and the possibility of developing the active disease. Certain behaviours and mental attitudes are danger signals, as of course is heavy or frequent alcohol consumption.I don't have a particular book to recommend, but ther must be some good ones out there - look mostly for RECENT publictations, as knowledge of the disease has grown greatly in the last decade or so. One exception, Claude Steiner's "Disesase Alcoholics Play" (1970ish), is a classic of some family oriented alcoholic behaviour patterns - but don't believe him when he says abstinence is not necessary, just fix the behaviours.
Depression is a whole other question. I am "dually diagnosed" with depression and alcoholism; the prevailing wisdom is that they are separate diseases but interact almost inextricably. If I drink or use drugs, my depression becomes much worse; if I am very depressed. I am much more likely to turn to one of my sources of instant chemical "relief".
Tony
> I've been very afraid to confront this topic but I feel it's time I face the demon...
>
> Alcoholism runs in my family. My maternal grandfather was one and my mother is one but she hides it. I'm just worried that I'm predisposed to it especially in a depressed state.
>
> Does anyone have any personal stories they can share or a website that may help give me some statistics on this? I do not want to become one too but from what I understand, this may not be enough to keep me from falling into the family trap.
Posted by Tony P on May 13, 2004, at 15:13:33
In reply to Re: Alcoholism runs in the family, posted by Tony P on May 11, 2004, at 13:55:37
Two books that deal with this subject, recommended by a counselor I know are:
Under the Influence, by Milam & Ketcham (pb 1981-3: Bantam)
Alocholism - a treatable Illness, by Strachan (pb 1982,1990)Both of these are little older than the most up-to-date statistics on families (which would probably be best searched for on the net anyway), but are excellent general books, readable but with a fair amount of technical detail if you want it. Likely out of print, but second-hand copies should not be hard to find from abebooks.com, Amazon, or your local used bookseller.
I am going to read the first one myself as a refresher!
Tony
Posted by Caper on May 21, 2004, at 22:27:05
In reply to Alcoholism runs in the family, posted by Wildflower on May 5, 2004, at 15:21:54
Hi Wildflower,
The following post is just my own opinions, combined with a little bit of info learned in college- I was a psychology major.
There definitely seems to be a proven genetic link regarding alcoholism. If a close relative was/is one, you are more likely than the average person to develop alcoholism yourself. Study after study has shown this. This does not mean you are destined to become an alcoholic, but it means you need to be extra careful. No matter how long you may have been just a "social drinker", you could still develop a problem.
I'm an alcoholic myself. My maternal grandfather was one and died from it. My mother will not touch alcohol because of that. Since I never knew my grandfather, I didn't really associate his alcoholism with myself. I thought I was safe because I drank occasionally, socially for years with no problem at all. A bottle of wine in my house would usually go bad because I'd have one glass and then lose interest- if I even had a bottle in the house at all.
Anyway, about a year ago, at the age of 30, I had a number of incredibly stressful things to deal with. I bought a bottle of wine one night to calm down and that was the beginning of hell. At first it was great- it made me less tense, it was fairly cheap, it was legal, I could get as much as I wanted- but soon it wasn't a want it was a physical NEED. One bottle a night turned into 6 bottles throughout the day and night, then a liter of vodka a day. My withdrawals are terrible: shaking, sweating, agitation, nausea, vomiting, muscle cramps so bad I have to use the fingers of one hand to straighten the fingers of the other!
My point is not to scare you, or to try to make it seem I have no personal responsibility for becoming addicted, but I just felt I had to warn you to be careful. I think warning signs that your alcohol use is getting out of hand are things like drinking every day, drinking alone, not being able to relax unless you have some alcohol within reach, not being able to limit your intake (saying, "I'll have two glasses and stop"- then drinking much more anyway), and having uncomfortable physical symptoms that are only relieved by drinking.
So please be careful- you are not doomed to become an alcoholic but you are at a higher risk. If you're unsure of your ability to control your intake, my advice is just don't drink at all. Alcoholism is truly hell. It wrecks your health, your work, your relationships with friends, your self-esteem, and most importantly costs you the trust and respect of your family and friends. Addicts lie. We lie about whether we're using, how much, how we got it, etc. In short, it makes you become a person you do not want to be, and it is so hard to get back to the person you used to be.
I hope this helps a little. Good luck.
Caper
> I've been very afraid to confront this topic but I feel it's time I face the demon...
>
> Alcoholism runs in my family. My maternal grandfather was one and my mother is one but she hides it. I'm just worried that I'm predisposed to it especially in a depressed state.
>
> Does anyone have any personal stories they can share or a website that may help give me some statistics on this? I do not want to become one too but from what I understand, this may not be enough to keep me from falling into the family trap.
Posted by Wantalife on May 25, 2004, at 9:59:58
In reply to Alcoholism in family: be careful!!! » Wildflower, posted by Caper on May 21, 2004, at 22:27:05
Hi Caper. I'm new to this site. This is the first time I've been here. I have to say you summed it up. I am an adult child of an alcoholic and have definitely not kept myself in control. Although I am a working, responsible parent during the day, at night I start to panic if I'm down to a six pack. I made a decision yesterday that it's time to start living, and find myself going through the flu-like symptoms. I have been beating myself up for so many years and find myself really alone. Although I am an outgoing person, I'm finding excuses not to go anywhere so I can stay home and drink. I can see my children slipping away from me. Is it physically dangerous to try to do this alone? Any answers or experiences would be greatly useful. Thanks for helping me not feel so alone. I know exactly what you are going through or have gone through.
Posted by erik98225 on May 26, 2004, at 0:10:09
In reply to Re: Alcoholism in family: be careful!!!, posted by Wantalife on May 25, 2004, at 9:59:58
Withdrawal from alcohol (as with benzodiazepines or any other gaba agonist) can KILL you. Go to the ER if you think you are experiencing alcohol withdrawal.
Posted by Wantalife on May 26, 2004, at 18:09:53
In reply to Re: Alcoholism in family: be careful!!! » Wantalife, posted by erik98225 on May 26, 2004, at 0:10:09
Thanks Erik. I did start having symptoms that really scared me such as pain down my left arm and alot of leg pain. I spoke to a consultant about what I was experiencing and he told me not to go cold turkey and wait until I see a doctor. I'm feeling quite good right now. I've made it to day three and I'm still here. Thanks for caring.
Posted by Caper on May 27, 2004, at 22:27:58
In reply to Re: Alcoholism in family: be careful!!!, posted by Wantalife on May 25, 2004, at 9:59:58
Hi Wildflower,
I'm glad you found my post helpful. Sorry it took so long to respond.
As far as detoxing on your own, if you have any history of seizures I've heard that you should absolutely NOT try it, no matter how much/little you drank.
Otherwise, it depends. I'm going to post a link I found helpful. Take it for what it's worth
http://www.aafp.org/afp/20040315/1443.htmlIt basically describes withdrawal as mild, moderate, and severe (DTs) and gives the medical protocols for detoxing with medication. But it also describes body temperatures and pulse rates that can help you decide where you rate.
Alcohol withdrawal can be very dangerous, but is usually just incredibly uncomfortable. If in doubt though, don't hesitate to get to an Emergency Room. They can tell you if you're in danger or just feeling rotten.
My first withdrawal I went to a hospital with a doctor who thought withdrawal only meant drugs, not alcohol, so I went nearly 24 hours before they could find me a medical detox hospital- with NO DRUGS at all. I was vomiting blood, high blood pressure, pulse sky-high, etc, but they didn't even give me an IV for hydration until I got to the detox place (at which they were appalled at the way I was treated at my county hospital). But anyway as bad off as I was, I wouldn't have died or even had seizures I think,
if I hadn't gotten medication to ease the pain.
Basically, trust your instincts AND be aware that many people find the 3rd or 4th day the hardest as far as agitation, irritability etc.Just remember, the ER is there if you feel overwhelmed.
Very, very best of luck to you!
Caper
> Hi Caper. I'm new to this site. This is the first time I've been here. I have to say you summed it up. I am an adult child of an alcoholic and have definitely not kept myself in control. Although I am a working, responsible parent during the day, at night I start to panic if I'm down to a six pack. I made a decision yesterday that it's time to start living, and find myself going through the flu-like symptoms. I have been beating myself up for so many years and find myself really alone. Although I am an outgoing person, I'm finding excuses not to go anywhere so I can stay home and drink. I can see my children slipping away from me. Is it physically dangerous to try to do this alone? Any answers or experiences would be greatly useful. Thanks for helping me not feel so alone. I know exactly what you are going through or have gone through.
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