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Posted by Clayton on October 29, 2003, at 17:15:35
I abused amphetamine tablets ("whites", not crystal meth) for several years in my twenties and was a pot user, sometimes on a daily basis, for almost thirty years. I've read the medical research literature. I'm aware of the brain damage stimulants can do to the neurotransmitter systems. The literature on pot is not so decisive but I know that in the short term, at least, it makes me very lazy. I suffer from Social Anxiety Disorder, depression (sometimes severe), severe insomnia and a general lack of motivation and goal setting. (Have I damaged my "reward seeking behavior" mechanism?). I can not address the simplist goals, even to sustain my existance like paying thr bills (even when I have the money), completing productive tasks at work so that I can keep my job and sustain my livlihood) and planning and behaving in accordance with a plan. I fail to set lon-trrm goals. I'm 52 now and in good physical shape so basic energy is not the problem. I tend to have very intense intellectual interests such as physics and philosophy and am capable of occassional manic behavior, staying up all night intensely reading literature on these topics. Does that mean I don't have ADD?
I take Paxil that helps the SAD and Remaron that is very efficacious (synergistic with Paxil) for mood. There are occassional relapses. But I still am completely amotivational and am unable to concentrate on even the simplest tasks, even if they relate to my survival.
I am looking for ideas, including possible medications, that might help with drive, assertiveness, planning and addresssing myself to essential tasks.
Can anyone offer suggestions? Help!
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