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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 2 of 2. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Lamdage22 on January 17, 2019, at 8:42:24
So my father taught me to get ripped off every time both financially and personally. He taught me to always be quiet when people piss me off. He was a bad role model. So here i am at age 30. Still learning lessons that most people get taught by their parents!
Posted by baseball55 on January 17, 2019, at 16:30:52
In reply to Father taught me to get ripped off every time!, posted by Lamdage22 on January 17, 2019, at 8:42:24
> So my father taught me to get ripped off every time both financially and personally. He taught me to always be quiet when people piss me off. He was a bad role model. So here i am at age 30. Still learning lessons that most people get taught by their parents!
Well, I'm not sure most people get taught good lessons from their parents. I think most people spend years of their lives trying to unlearn at least some of what their parents taught them. All parents are flawed.
But I think some people try to be quiet and passive because they are afraid to express anger and confuse assertiveness with aggression. Many people have difficulty being assertive - standing up for themselves and asking for wha they want without becoming angry or defensive or aggressive. It took me a long time to learn that - I used get angry and undermine myself or just stay passive because I was afraid of my anger and how out-of-control I could get.
I think assertiveness requires a fairly high level of self-esteem and feeling that you deserve things you want or need. I learned to be more assertive through years of therapy, mostly.
But it's a common problem. So much so that there are people who professionally do assertiveness trainings.
This is the end of the thread.
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