![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 315 to 339 of 495. Go back in thread:
Posted by alexandra_k on November 3, 2014, at 19:44:22
In reply to Re: one down, posted by alexandra_k on October 31, 2014, at 20:34:49
big brother australia is back on. yay. it is like... a 5 day test cricket match (or similar) for studying... you can have it on in the background and pretty much tune it out... then you hear when something interesting happens and you can catch the replay.
i like it because... the people are so very different from me. i couldn't imagine anything worse than being stuck with other people in a closed environment like that 24/7. i really couldn't have a worse nightmare than having everyone watching everything i do all the time... and most of them aren't really the brightest...
and to start out i usually take a strong dislike to ALL of them... to start out... when they are presenting their face to the world... but over time you get to know them. they start to let their guard down... they get hungry angry lonely tired and you see what they are like... and i usually end up liking most of them... or at least some of them... and i realise what a judgemental bitch i can be to have judged them so harshly to start out... and i get to reflecting on being a nicer person and being kinder to people IRL and perhaps getting to know some of the amazing people out there who i might typically write off as being too dis-similar to me...
anyway...
i'm sure i could do the spoiler thing on the internet since it aired in australia already... but i won't. i remember... it entertained me last summer, too.
anyway... happy i am. pretty happy. auditing the summer school paper will be important for my sanity because i'll be mighty lonely about then... and i'll be starting to get demotivated from my own study...
i don't know how much focused work i will get done over the summer... chem in particular... i guess the most important thing is to... have fun with it. i do have some idea of sections they will focus on next year (e.g., i know there is a lot of heart / lung physiology with equations and graphs)... but i also know that it is important to go into the year feeling rested and keen and feeling... humble. open to learning new things. that sometimes thinking 'yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i know it all already' can be ones undoing...
Posted by alexandra_k on November 4, 2014, at 15:19:42
In reply to Re: one down, posted by alexandra_k on November 3, 2014, at 19:44:22
I actually passed the last physics test. Not by heaps, admittedly, but just slightly above the class average this time. Last time... I got a better grade overall but was well below class average, which freaked me out with respect to what was to come...
I might just come out with a B or maybe even a B+ for physics, after all.
:)
Posted by alexandra_k on November 5, 2014, at 18:36:23
In reply to Re: oh, my, posted by alexandra_k on November 4, 2014, at 15:19:42
biology this morning. not bad, not bad, a lot better than expected. my perusing of past years exams: most useful. i mean, really, nobody likes to write exams???? anyway... i guess they don't put up past years exams ANSWERS, to be fair... anyway... the odd shocker... we will see... i will hope for an A- and pray a little bit for an A is how I feel about that.
law... fingers crossed for a B-. today: off. then back into things... yeah... c'mon B-...
weird thing: all the places i've taught had regulations on how the percentage of the marks for the course were allowed to be distributed. so they had a rule that not more than 50% of the course could be due to the exam. but law... for example.. here... has plussage. and... the first test is worth 20% of your total mark for the course (if it is to your advantage for things to be that way) and the exam 80% otherwise: exam takes all.
even physics... 60% exam. and 10% test 2 weeks before exam (and graded much about the same time). so there... 70% of the course grade decided all of sudden right about the end.
on the one hand: things come together (or not) about then. so that does seem fair. on the other hand: sometimes things don't... for whatever reason.
honestly... I think... things mostly do. it is fairer this way. but it is a lot more stressful. things are more up in the air. you know grades are assigned to a distribution (or at least I do) and you worry about what your fellow class mates might be up to... (slacking, it seems to be, but we will see)... eep... eeep..... eeeeeeeeeeep.
Posted by alexandra_k on November 7, 2014, at 17:05:07
In reply to Re: two down, posted by alexandra_k on November 5, 2014, at 18:36:23
I am a dumb-*ss. I just realised, I don't need a wireless printer because I DON'T HAVE WIRELESS
LMFAO
Oh wells...
Timetable is up for next year! I can't enroll in anything yet because I don't have an offer of place, but it is reassuring to know that things are fairly much like last year with respect to lecture times and what semesters certain courses are run in...
They only open up 1 lab time until it fills... Then they open a different lab time. So you need to enroll in the one that is open or wait for a new time to open up... And hope that the new time suits you better...
Anyway... Currently... The open time is Monday afternoons. For both semesters. Biology and Chemistry alternating weeks for the first semester and Medsci every second week for the second. Monday afternoons is a PERFECT lab time. 2 hours to prepare in the first semester and 3 in the second. Which limits it... Which is what I need or it is in danger of sucking up all the time there is...
Someone gave me a link to this review site... People are writing great reviews. At least... Quite a few people saying what I was thinking about courses I've done and some very thoughtful reviews of later courses...
Labs are much hated. People think their grade is RANDOM and depends on your luck for your pod. Strangely... You want to be in a crap pod because it makes you look better. So... All I need to do is to keep my cool and follow along and suck it up.
Yeah.
Posted by alexandra_k on November 8, 2014, at 16:57:59
In reply to Re: two down, posted by alexandra_k on November 7, 2014, at 17:05:07
law tomorrow. it will all be over tomorrow lunchtime. c'mon law, don't totally screw me over. if i don't get a B average (if i don't get entry to health science for next year) I really don't know what the hell i'm going to do...
i'm getting a better grip on next year. have re-found a useful forum. some annoyingly successful people on about how 'easy' everything is. some more genuine people... some people who struggle... it is useful for me, anyway. have picked up odd little bits. a site where people review papers... the papers i've done... mostly agree with the reviews. very thoughtful reviews. the papers i haven't done... most interesting to read the reviews.
i certainly am doing the right thing in having a health science rather than bio-med year next year. the second semester... you need to keep a B+ average across the year in order to apply... but with respect to your GPA they rank applicants on the basis of their grades only for the 4 core papers. so the 4 papers that are different between the Health Science / Bio-Med options only count for your B+ average requirement. So... You need to not fail them. But people freak the f*ck out about bio-chemistry. And some people freak out about physics, too. The more time you are spending learning the kreb cycle (and so on) the less time you are spending learning your lung and heart physiology for the Medsci paper that really matters...
Instead of Bio-Chem and Physics I will get Health Psychology and another population health paper. The health psychology one is... deja vu social psychology. The stanford prison experiment, attachment theory, attributional style etc. The other one is a more qualitative repeat of population health. Crap on a bit about health inequalities in this country etc etc. A LOT less time consuming than the kreb cycle or thermodynamics would be...
And first semester instead of bio101 I'll get a health systems paper - which seems to be management / economics. You know, they will teach us how to check our email and stuff hehe. So very much more interesting than evolution :)
Next year... My aim is for a lot of the core 4 to be... Reminders. I'm hoping to get good exposure to the content over summer, even though I expect I won't get a whole heap done in the way of memorizing particular things. Probably not much point until I see which particular things they want us to memorize, anyway. I know I won't have much time / inclination to be reading books during term time. Using them as reminders... That is what works, though. Especially for the times when the lecturer has a bad day / their explanation is confused.
I think I'm going to be okay. I am looking forward to next year... It will start off hard and get easier as the people drop off...
Biology... A lot of people were talking about transferring to other institutions. Not getting good grades. Becoming aware that getting C / B- grades persistently wasn't going to get them into a job out the other end of their degree. Transferring to tech, typically. To a practical course. Nursing or whatever.
That's where the rowdy masses go... That's why 2nd year is different... Next year will be the same...
I guess I just need to think that: It is good to be surrounded by them insofar as it makes me look better. The only trouble is how hard I find it to function around them...
Reviews suggest that a lot of people think that chemistry labs are random. Some Olympiad / Scholarship kids doing really badly in their labs and some students who get C+ for their theory tests getting full marks for them... The thing to do is to... just suck it up, really. The 'really badly' is still a pass... And you just have to hope you do well enough in the theory...
It is... Reassuring to me... That I'm not the only one who struggles a lot with them. Reassuring to me that reviews I've seen match my assessment of courses I've done. Reassuring to me to read reviews of future courses and hear what people are saying. Reassuring to me that I'm finally coming home to people who are like me enough for me to feel at home. People posting pictures of their ideal study environment... I'm happy, yeah. C'mon law... Don't ruin things for me...
Time to learn about the freaking treaty...
Posted by alexandra_k on November 9, 2014, at 23:27:30
In reply to Re: two down, posted by alexandra_k on November 8, 2014, at 16:57:59
done :)
it could have been worse, again. just a matter of wait and see, now. doesn't feel quite real. nowhere near as unreal as submitting my masters or honors work, but i still can't quite believe that i really don't have to worry about any of it any more...
my printer arrived today. it has a ethernet port and i can connect it to my computer okay, so all is well. it came with a starter toner and says so in a very inconspicuous place on the box so i feel a bit had... i should have emailed them to check before ordering... but still, it is a very nice printer and replacement toners are reasonably priced and so on. so... i am happy.
i wish my model kit would arrive. i suspect it is lost forever. which pisses me off, rather. have emailed them... we will see... it is sad because i was so looking forward to making them... i don't suppose it is necessary though. i'll try not to let it ruin chemistry for me.
not long until the dreaded christmas. guess i'll get through it the way i always do... i think i'm going to get morrowwind... see if i can get used to real time combat...
Posted by alexandra_k on November 10, 2014, at 0:46:06
In reply to Re: two down, posted by alexandra_k on November 9, 2014, at 23:27:30
baldur's gate for pc turns out to be different from x-box. i've only ever played it on x-box. there are a bunch of similarly old games... planescape: torment. never heard of it. and it is looking like i might be able to wineskin neverwinter nights...
i will get through the holidays okay. there is always world of warcraft...
Posted by Dr. Bob on November 11, 2014, at 10:56:49
In reply to Re: two down, posted by alexandra_k on November 9, 2014, at 23:27:30
> done :)
Good work! And how did you do?
Bob
Posted by alexandra_k on November 11, 2014, at 20:26:01
In reply to Re: done, posted by Dr. Bob on November 11, 2014, at 10:56:49
don't know. i remember being surprised that it took them over a week to get our grades back last semester. maybe closer to two. i think there may be more external pressure on curves / bureaucracy here...
B+ for general chemistry last semester.
waiting on animal biology, physics, law.Need a B average to get to transfer into Health Science for next year.
I am a bit worried, yeah. I didn't know I had an average requirement with having my Masters Degree... I wouldn't have done law 'for fun' if I'd have known that. Not after that chemistry grade. Not with physics (the hardest parts of chemistry).
If my GPA is a little lower I might be able to get a place if I change my application to applying for targeted admission on grounds of disability. I'd really rather not do that, but I will if I need to, I suppose.
It is hurting the ego a bit to feel like I'm concerned about being a B student when I was most definitely an A student before. Partly, I'm worried that I'm just not as good at science as I am at other things. Partly, I'm worried that I'm just not as good at anything when I'm at a better university that attracts smarter and harder working students. I don't know which it is. Probably a combination of both. I remember though that my worst grades were earliest on. Perhaps that always is the way. If my B+ for chemistry can be an A- next year that may be enough. If my B+ or A- for animal biology (fingers crossed for something like that) can be an A next year then that may be enough.
Anyway... Chin up...
Baldur's Gate II... Is good.
:)
Posted by alexandra_k on November 12, 2014, at 21:28:47
In reply to Re: done, posted by alexandra_k on November 11, 2014, at 20:26:01
I seem to have found mine. Though, it is perhaps too soon to tell. Usually I would be binging on something, by now. But I'm not.
Spending a couple hours on this and then that. Playing a game for a bit and then feeling tired of it. Doing some chemistry and then feeling tired of that. Going to the gym... Watching big brother... Cleaning the house... I will be quite happy with myself if I can keep this up. That is what I would most like for myself this summer. To become better at making good use of my time. To spend a couple hours on this and then a couple hours on that. To be better at allocating time and effort to the range of papers that I have instead of binging on one at the expense of the others... And so on...
I guess I have realised this year that there is quite a lot of down-time. Quite a lot of time to prepare for exams. They even have a bunch of 'revision' lectures before tests so you aren't getting hit with new content just before tests, at least...
Mostly it is about keeping up morale enough to carry on... Not needing to take too much time out to collapse into a little pool of despair... I think they try and overwhelm you purposely, at times... Just to see how you will cope with it...
Anyway... My subscription to the maths website just renewed itself, too, after my having suspended it for most of the year. I think I might take a little look at about where things are at, now... See what sense I can make of algebra now... Do some more practice with unit conversions and scientific notations... See what I can do with graphs...
Life is good...
The model kit people said they would ship me another if I pay for traced courier if it is clear that the one they sent is lost... That is very good of them. They said it could take a couple more weeks to this part of the world... So I'll give it a couple more. Then, uh, I need to get them to fill out an inquiry form incase it got detained at a post-shop here. Because I f*ck*d up the address details. Correct building name but incorrect number. I'll be massively embarrassed if that is the problem. Anyway... It means a lot to me to have a model kit... So... I hope it arrives soon...
Feeling a bit... Disturbed. But the weather has been stormy. And people are a bit weird at the moment because of exams. And I'm a bit concerned about mine. So...
Posted by alexandra_k on November 15, 2014, at 17:11:57
In reply to Re: balance, posted by alexandra_k on November 12, 2014, at 21:28:47
i will need to do significantly better next year to have a chance of entry to medicine. they won't make the grade cut-off public... and of course people aren't very likely to want to fess up to having the distinction of only just scraping in with the lowest possible marks... apparently someone or other got in on something between an A- and an A average (for the core 4 papers). but they could have kicked *ss at the UMAT and the interview... most people seem to think that 8 or 8.25 (so 4 A's or 3 A's and an A+) is more like it... for the non-rural non-maaori and pacific islander applicants, at any rate. it really is so very hard to say...
i'm feeling quite good about biology. because i'm really enjoying reading the textbook. to start with i was a bit grumpy it wasn't Marieb, because i enjoyed Marieb from tech. But now i really love Tortora. I think it is better than Marieb (or what I remember from Marieb) with a more clinical focus. Every time I get to a part and I think about all the medical conditions I've faintly heard of involving this or that... There is bound to be a clinical box briefly going over it. So... And I know the textbook goes into heaps more detail than we will need. Somehow... That helps me feel that what we do need to learn is more manageable.
I'm also thinking... One of the things that I think really helped me for psychology was the fact that I enjoyed learning from the textbooks. In the tests / exams you would get the odd question that seemed genuinely ambiguous. And I'd go with my gut. Then later... I'd find that the angle or focus or emphasis of the textbook was driving my gut. And my gut was right. I've looked at some past bio exams and again, there seem to be quite a few genuinely ambiguous questions. E.g., hard to say which structure that line is pointing to on the diagram. Anyway... It is common for students to complain that various of the questions are ambiguous... It is also common for students to pronounce that you don't need to buy the textbooks because they got through the year just fine without even opening theirs. Maybe if they opened them they would have resolved the ambiguous questions better than chance! Perhaps... That is my theory for now, at any rate. The histology pics on the text / exam... I think they picked them out of the non-histology parts of the textbook (beyond prescribed reading, even)...
I may not pronounce this theory too loudly.
I'm mostly feeling good about next year because the courses are much more genuinely interesting to me and I know they put a great deal of time and thought into their contents etc. That means they present the information much more clearly and the information is much more likely to be a manageable chunk. They won't be assuming that we are lazy and stupid students...
I spent about 4 hours learning the content of the first embryology lecture. That seems like a lot of time, to me. But I have never done any embryology before and there are too many xxxblast and blastxxx names to try and get straight and lots of things have 2 names and instead of making it clear when 2 names are synonymous they will introduce a structure with one name and then go on to use another and you have to go on a bit of a hunt to figure out whether they are referring to the same or different things aaaargh... anyway... I enjoyed it. And it means... I have a good chance of following along in the lecture since most of it will be familiar and I'm much more likely to remember stuff from the lecture since I have the basic structure to hang the new content onto.
It is common for people to complain that parts of biology are content heavy. But then, it is also common for people to pronounce that you don't need High School Biology because biology isn't hard, really. Anyway... One guy said he did really well in High School Biology and he thinks it really did help because it gave him more time for other courses when other people had to put in a significant number of hours learning about translation and transcription and miosis and mitosis... Campbell's Biology does go on... But there is a single chapter from Tortora which is probably more than we need to know... So... And I'm enjoying it all now, which is great.
Anyway... I think I won't do summer school because it doesn't finish until a week before things start. And I do want to be fresh... I'll just gatecrash some of the lectures... Since the lungs are pistons and all... Sigh.
I better get into health science next year. please oh please oh please. They let me into the degree 2x before because I had a Masters... I've still got my freaking Masters ffs... they better let me in!!!
Posted by alexandra_k on November 16, 2014, at 14:59:55
In reply to Re: balance, posted by alexandra_k on November 15, 2014, at 17:11:57
and the thing i've almost purposely been putting out of my mind... i need to sit the UMAT. everybody does. around about june or july.
i should have sat it this year for the practice. i really had been putting it out of my mind...
it has a 'critical reasoning' section... which has some statistics. you need to know things like 'you can't make inferences about absolute numbers or proportions when you are only given percentage information'. and sometimes background knowledge assists (e.g., questions on phototaxis and the like and inferring what is going on from where the microbes migrated to in the picture of them in their dish)... and othertimes it interferes (where subject specific knowledge or even general knowledge or even common-sense goes beyond the information on the page). i need to learn how critical reasoning / logic is going to play along... are they going to interpret language the way philosophers do? e.g., if they say 'people' do we read that as 'all people' or 'some people' or 'only some people' or 'most people' or 'not all people' and which of those do they consider equivalent etc... i need to figure... is it helpful to draw venn diagrams or diagram logic structure? (this really does seem to be more math than critical reasoning to me)
it has a theory of mind section. partly it is about knowlege of synonyms. it might say that someone is 'irritated' and then 'anger' appears on your list. so a test of english language proficiency. partly it is about incorporating information and assuming something like rationality and good intent. e.g., the fact that someone did a prenatal course is supposed to establish that she is knowledgeable and responsible and well dispositioned toward the pregnancy. how nurses are likely to feel is how one would feel if one were taking all of the above into account with perfect rationality, and so on... i think... it is more how people would feel in some slightly formal slightly literary novel than how the masses would likely feel when they are sick or hormonal or sleepy angry lonely or tired... but... whatever... it seems learnable, which is good...
* actually... i know how it seems... it seems like some of the 'worked through' examples a certain author used when i was reading his stuff on emotions. when higher order (hence fairly rationally controlled) emotions were used 'strategically' as a communication / manipulation strategy. not as an expression of emotional intensity but as a way of making it likely that others will act in ways you want them to. Machiavelli emotions, i think he called them. heh.
it has a math section which they reckon is about pattern recognition. next one in a sequence or arrange the 5 into a sequence and pick the middle or whatever. you are meant to use the simplest rule possible and i think there is even a higher order rule about what constitutes simplicity... addition is simpler than multiplication, for example. the sequences are weird... there are different elements and you need to follow them about. weird things can happen. one of them can cover up others. people say that this is the easiest section to improve on with study... i guess especially if you simply can't see how to do any of them initially... and then you learn some strategy rules. even knowing that each element is in fact guided by a rule (and some clues as to what those rules might be e.g., +1, +1, +1 or +1, +2, +3 or +1, -1, +1, -1 is a considerable help to me (this really is maths - right?) but simple maths... simple once you know the rule, maths...
i guess the idea is to think of it as being a lot like chemistry... lots of little skills / tricky tricks. impossible if you don't know... but really easy once you know how. and so the thing to do is to take my time getting the right answer with the practice sets. and then once i can actually get the right answer to most of them i can worry about picking up the pace. i think that is the key, really. there is considerable time pressure. but if i feel too anxious my response is to freeze / output garbage for a time. and so... i really will need to practice pacing... so i don't waste time garbage skimming (not gaining any useful information) ... it is a tricky thing... i should have taken it this year DAMMIT.
it is mostly about learning to think the way they do. the theory of mind test isn't in grasping how people are 'mostly likely' to think with respect to the 'most likely' demographic. not at all. my theory of mind has changed significantly over the past few years as i've interacted more with non-university / non-academic people. their mentality is quite different, i really do believe. and of course people say one thing... and mean / believe / do another. but none of that matters for the super-sophisticated theory of mind test. and of course the written theory of mind test has applicability back to the real world - right? i mean... the adults with autism... they can't learn the 'right' answer to the sally-anne task - right?i am lucky that this university only makes the UMAT worth 15% of their selection procedure. australian universities take the test much much MUCH more seriously... for us... you have to do one of the two 8 paper years. you have to get a B+ average across those 8 papers in order to apply. then candidates are ranked on the basis of their grades for the 4 papers that are overlapping / common to both pathways. they offer 2x as many interviews as they have available places. that is where people are saying that you need more like a 7.75 to get an interview... but admissions won't say any more because it varies from year to year... and then... candidates are ranked where GPA on the overlapping 4 is worth 60%, interview is worth 25%, UMAT is worth 15%. and places are offered...
Posted by alexandra_k on November 17, 2014, at 0:00:10
In reply to Re: balance, posted by alexandra_k on November 16, 2014, at 14:59:55
sigh.
and most people say it would be a great year... lots of really interesting classes... if only there wasn't such pressure to do well. brings out the worst in everyone, i think.
people say that they look back on it... and it wasn't much fun, yeah. especially the kids who didn't go into the year with lots of their mates from high school...
i think i do need a bit of an attitude adjustment. that isn't quite it... i need to learn how they want me to think for the UMAT. it... annoys me, rather. such tests annoy me. i've never done very well on them. people took great delight in my not doing well on them. nobody every tried to teach me how to do better on them. i'm cross because i need to put quite a bit of time into figuring out how to do them... and it seems very much a hoop thing... i mean... how will getting better at spot the middle help me at anything other than that particular task?
i am scared... this year has helped in some ways... has been necessary... but my confidence has taken a bit of a hit, too... my squat stalled today so i'm cranky about that. but i shouldn't be... because it is the best it has ever been and i've been consistently doing better than i've ever done before (front squat 45kg for triples is very reliable indeed and i couldn't get it for a single before). couldn't get my second triple today at 47.5kg... gosh... i remember when i couldn't squat the 20kg bar... i have come a long way... in a little over 5 years. ha.
enjoy the summer for sure.
:)
c'mon grades...
i will snatch 60kg before i die. i will.
Posted by alexandra_k on November 17, 2014, at 0:02:33
In reply to Re: balance, posted by alexandra_k on November 17, 2014, at 0:00:10
the emotion section... is about seeing patience and kindness and responsibleness etc etc etc everywhere... about projecting that and seeing that. i get it.
but the fact that i'm taking a test... makes me feel cranky. and short. and impatient. and so i'm likely to interpret that into the answers... which is precisely what they don't want to see.
ak!
Posted by alexandra_k on November 19, 2014, at 0:38:37
In reply to Re: balance, posted by alexandra_k on November 17, 2014, at 0:02:33
had a disturbed nights sleep... worried about the UMAT, go figure.
i think...
i need to be a bit careful about the gym. figure out what helps me feel good... vs what gets me feeling achy and agitated. the cross-fit style going hard at a bunch of different things... you can get sort of addicted to the adrenalin, or something, but it is just running yourself into the ground, really.
yoga.
rediscover that. keep it as a routine for next year.
i think...
the way for me to think of the UMAT is that it is indeed teaching us a bag of tricks. they basically say as much... that they don't reccommend extensive study / preparation (it won't help). there are outfits (not authorised by them) who charge a lot of money for extra preparation help... they are explicit in saying that they don't endorse them.
but the official people provide you with one full exam with worked answers when you register. and you can purchase another. and you can purchase another - but this time the provided answers aren't worked / explained. and you can purchase another half set with unworked answers... and i think their point is... that if all that isn't enough for you to get the tricks / rules / patterns such that you can go on similarly (and quickly) then, uh, there isn't much hope for you.
they are upfront about how preparation is helpful... i guess... the idea is to make good use of the materials you can get from them... and then figure out how much time you have to spend on each question (or chunk of 4 or 5 when you have a bunch of questions about the same blurble) and keep to your plan such that you finish on time and just... do the best you can in the time that you have.
and some people just can't seem to do that... people posting that they had a bunch at the end that they didn't get to answer because they ran out of time (bad time management) or they got stuck on one (the site people say they put some in that don't count toward your overall score - probably purposely to psych you out or confound you or prime you or just testing a future tricky trick they might find predictive of ability on another tricky trick...) and some people who pay a fortune on extra help courses and still don't seem to be able to see +1 +1 +1 strategy in the appropriate time frame.
the inter-personal ones are... good, actually. part of the trick seems to be... that one person is... dispassioned. objective. doctorly, perhaps. in some kind of stereotypical way. they KNOW you are going to identify with that one. the trick isn't to identify with them... the trick is to identify with the OTHER one. the one who is (at least partly) responding to the perception of distance / aloofness etc. the idea is to... judge their response to be something... that gets you feeling warmly disposed towards them rather than judgemental or dismissive etc. or something. anyway... nice. kind. i like-y. i tell myself. heh.
point is... there are rules. and i will get them. no need to be stressed / panicked about this. just a bit of dilligence... like my other work... i... thought science would teach me dilligence. i think that it is.
yay.
Posted by alexandra_k on November 19, 2014, at 2:56:00
In reply to Re: balance, posted by alexandra_k on November 19, 2014, at 0:38:37
B for biology. which is disappointing. It is true what they say: everything is decided from the first test. Class placings, I mean. Everyone does comparably well in labs and in the final exam so class placings are decided from the first test (unless you massively f*ck something up).
Looking again at an old copy of the first test for biology next year... Some of the diagrams are genuinely ambiguous. They have changed the line markers from a text diagram so it genuinely is unclear what structure the new markers are pointing to. Or... Perhaps there is some hierarchy of 'best answer' such that 'best answer' gets to be half wrong and half right... And one of the histology slides... Or perhaps they will go into a bit more detail about how to distinguish / perhaps that was a slide they went through in class... You really can't see from the slide whether all the cells are attached to the basal membrane or not (whether it is pseudostratified or actually stratified) but those are both available in the multiguess...
I can't tell if it is just that I am not very good at this... Or whether it really does come down so significantly to luck.
I guess with animal biology the biggest thing was that... I wasn't that into animal biology. And then they refused to make their powerpoints available etc etc...
I don't think I'm going to get a B average.
I guess I just have to see what happens...
Have I lost my mind? It really does seem... Tech, all over again...
Posted by alexandra_k on November 19, 2014, at 15:39:16
In reply to Re: balance, posted by alexandra_k on November 19, 2014, at 2:56:00
sigh. this is eating at me...
i suspect...
i'm learning that people 'play it cool'.
on the one hand you get the kids from the good schools who are all 'omfg that is SO EASY i could do that when i was 7' and so on... and of course then you get kids rolling their eyes at them / hating on them and certain other kids (who went to those same schools) realise that that isn't winning them any favors...
so they 'play it cool'. they are all, like, 'no, i didn't know how to do that before, i just worked that out now' and sometimes they get themselves 'omg you are so smart!' by doing things that way...
one thing people do is be all like 'oh no, i'm not even worried about that' (studying frantically behind the scenes). you don't want people to know you plan on working your *ss off... because then they might work their *ss off... and then they might be a serious competitor... so much better if you can somehow convince them to slack off... so you might work harder than them and win.
i wonder if some of that is coming through... so people worked harder for that exam than i gave them credit for...
my lab partners this year... were lovely people. i mean, really lovely. but really really really rather... not hardworking. i mean, really. though... i am learning... everyone basically gets around 3/4 of the available marks for labs and with each lab being only worth about 5% rounding makes individual differences in marks... come out in the wash. so, uh, why bother doing your pre-reading... why not just blink your big eyes and follow the herd. save your energy for individual study later. unless the first test is done in which case... cruise along that class for the rest of the semester...
i think this has illustrated to me... that i need to find some good friends next year. people who i can (eventually anyway) relax and be honest around. next year is going to be weird with people saying things and doing other things... and... well... everyone is going to be freaking out in their own special way. perhaps there isn't any such thing as good friends. perhaps it is more about temporary alliances.
i really don't get what happened with this class... i mean... i get why i did badly on the first test. I didn't have the textbook and i didn't really study for it. but i worked through the past years couple of exams (which i didn't think many people would do) and it was largely copy-paste.
one thing... i mean... i've done the whole railing that they just threw them down the stairs etc... but one thing might be that my drawings suck. it could be... i mean... they don't give us the diagrams they expect us to reproduce. so it is unclear what they want / what level of detail they want. i did get in trouble with labs sometimes for being too detailed mostly... maybe it is an extension of that. i don't know.
a bit nervous now... but there is nothing i can do. i am glad animal biology is over. i didn't much like it. i suppose it is mostly about that.
but then there were parts that i did like... subject matter, anyway... but they managed to put me off them... by not giving us a clear manageable chunk of content. like... there was one diagram that went up... and it was pretty complicated with detail we didn't need to know... and someone had last years exam and was like 'how would you answer this question' and... the lecturer wouldn't draw us a simple, clear example in class. then that was the one in the exam. so... they fish for answers and see what people throw up instead of testing us on whether we have learned the information they have presented to us?
i don't understand why you would want a first test (3 or 4 weeks into the semester) to decide class placings / grades for the entire class. unless... you are deciding to distribute class placings / grades on the basis of what school people went to.
i have this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach... that the latter is it. that something like that is going on. that the kids from certain schools have been purposely given exposures through their school years to maximise their chances on that first test... and so... first test takes all. quickly. before you give the other kids the opportunity to catch up.
i mean, if you can't buy your kids way into this and that... well, then, what's the point in having money? why would you bother to work at all if you didn't get stuff like that for your working?
because everybody knows that the best most worthwhile work the most genuine work that profits society only happens because the people behind it get paid megabucks to do it. i mean... everybody knows that intrinsic motivation is... well... laughable, really. if you want a generation of doctors to be whining and bitching and moaning about how little they get paid... make sure you select the kids whose parents money gave them a place. for sure.
epidemiology is the same. first test decides the distribution because everyone does well at everything after that... is it that hard to come up with multiple assessments where each is graded according to a distribution? i really don't see... anyway... it largely is stats. simple stats... but stats. simple calculations. simple divisions and multiplications. with a bunch of zeroes. and some time pressure. and some stuff on reading graphs and the like...
they told me it wasn't stats. past years tests tell me different.
no good will come of my thinking like this. i do feel bitter about my grade. bitter is never good. i simply don't understand how my exam performance didn't bump me up the class placings (get me a better grade). i understood it wouldn't be heaps... but surely more than 1/4 of the class did not go through past years exams... and so i simply don't understand how my exam performance didn't get me a B+, at least.
I need to wait a couple months before i can apply for the exam script. i guess at that point i can see if someone can explain it to me. because... i really do want to understand... if i can... if there is something i can do that i'm not doing... anyway... whatever...
there is nothing i can do about it now...
except not to get lured into the distraction that is (dis)orientation week over the first few weeks of the semester. and to draw everything simply. i think that is it. i am going to go with that. draw everything simply. i'm done with lists. diagrams and label.
sniff.
Posted by Twinleaf on November 19, 2014, at 18:07:40
In reply to Re: balance, posted by alexandra_k on November 19, 2014, at 15:39:16
Hi Alex,
I have been following your posts with interest and empathy, as I travelled the same pre-med -medical school road a while ago. Then, affirmative action to help less-advantaged minority students had not yet begun, nor was it possible to study lecture or laboratory materials in advance. I feel certain the quality of the schools we had previously attended was not a factor in how we were graded.There was SO much material to learn that our time was almost entirely devoted to studying. We went to labs and lectures every day for the first two years, and clinical rotations for the next two, and studied all evening and most weekends. EVERYONE had to do it, even the ones with the highest IQs! Usually, we tried to take one weekend off a month to travel, ski, hike etc. the rest of the time, we were studying -usually an average of six hours a day -after the time we spent in lectures and labs (almost all of which we attended)
Forgive me if I am misinterpreting you, but I get the impression from time to time that, instead of studying, you sometimes look for an "angle" which will give you an academic advantage. Sometimes it seems that you perhaps get quite anxious before tests and distract yourself by tending to personal technical matters when the other students are almost surely putting in hours of study. It is, maybe, safer if you don't give it your best effort, than if you do - and don't receive an A. I think all of us have felt that way about many things at times.
I sometimes have a sort of sad feeling that you have everything you need to do very well, but that, at times, you are your own worst enemy! I can tell you one thing for sure - no-one ever made it through med school without many thousands of hours of hard and concentrated study.
Posted by alexandra_k on November 19, 2014, at 22:05:56
In reply to Re: balance » alexandra_k, posted by Twinleaf on November 19, 2014, at 18:07:40
Hi. Yeah... Sometimes I am my own worst enemy, I know.
I could be wrong... But I think posting helps. Helps me to articulate it instead of it going round and round. Then I can look back on it from a more objective position. Sometimes I see how to recast it.
I don't know. Maybe I should post less and do something different to shift my focus / get it out of my head. I don't know.
I know I often read back and cringe, rather, at the way I view things. There is a reason I try not to take it to my interpersonal relationships IRL.
Later year medical students... Say that they remember the overlapping year one as being really very stressful. Because at this stage all you know is that it is really really really really really unlikely that you will get a place. Around 1,300 students trying to get what can only be around 70 places reserved for people from first year who aren't rural or part of a targeted minority ethnic group. Only around 1/2 of the 1,300 are serious... But even then.
The students say that while they do have to work hard later, once they are in medicine... While they miss not having breaks etc... It is easier in the sense that you know the program is invested in you passing. The program has invested in you. This first year (my next year) is hard precisely because it is most likely that the program won't choose you.
I know that it is a completely pointless waste of my time and energy to get upset about various things... That it is only useful for me to worry about factors that are within my power to change. That it is only useful for me to worry about them insofar as it motivates me to do what is necessary to change them.
I know I'm grasping at straws with this whole 'trying to figure the trick' thing... It is because I'm feeling a little desperate that certain things are random or that I'm unable to grasp whatever it is that you are supposed to which means that things seem random to me even when they aren't...
I am actually fairly sure that they view it as a kindness that the distribution is decided by the first test. That way it frees up the 700 or so not particularly serious ones to go join their clubs and make the most of their social opportunities / go find their future husbands / wives... I don't think they see it as unfairly advantaging those who come in well prepared / not giving those who are less prepared much of a chance to catch up... I've just been having a conversation with the accommodation people about how it would be nice to have a quiet / silent floor option for students who are keen to do that. They don't seem to realize that some people refuel from being alone and that they might well have lots of students who collapse into stress-balls during the first batch of tests (where things are decided week 3 / 4) because they are absolutely exhausted from the social pressure to get out there! get in there! join clubs! go to concerts! go out drinking with your fellow floor mates! do every f*ck*ng social activity you can and then 5 more! during the (dis) orientation that they do through weeks one and two...
Anyway... I have decided to draw more pictures instead of focusing on lists. Because it is something that I can do... And because it is the only thing I can think of to do in response to having done crap in that Biology class. I mean, aside from 'don't take comparative animal biology if you don't want to learn about invertebrates, bugs, worms, fishes, dinosaurs, amphibians, birds, or bats'. It was either that or plant biology, you see, because I had to save the course I really wanted to do (cellular and human development and then anatomy and physiology) for next year.
Posted by alexandra_k on November 20, 2014, at 19:28:42
In reply to Re: balance, posted by alexandra_k on November 19, 2014, at 22:05:56
thanks for posting to me, by the way. i felt bad about jumping over you before. i was stressed and defensive. i know you mean well and i do appreciate your following along :)
it is probably more than 70 places that go to first years... i looked into things a bit more and they are actually very vague about their targeted rural admission scheme... it is looking a lot more like they don't actually have one... aka: there don't seem to be a specified number of places set aside for that but they will 'take it into account' for the interview. if you... i don't know... stand too far back from your interviewers perhaps lmfao.
i had a chat to one of my dear old friends last night... it put me in a lot better mood. i really have been bummed out about my biology grade...
everyone is freaking out right now because of grades coming back / admissions next year. people really have started freaking out about next year already. i really am not the only one.
i have emailed them about the average requirement... and now i can't find that webpage that had the average requirement... but i realized that the B average thing would most likely be across all your study (thus across my Masters and Honours and previous Undergrad degree) rather than just the previous year. And that, basically, the idea was more to take good students rather than picking up the science students who decided they didn't want to work so hard, or whatever. So... I feel a bit more relaxed. I am sure it will be okay. Almost certain.
Besides which... I don't know... I really don't know... But it is possible that I will come out with a B for physics and the same or better for law. So... Relax Alex... I have been reading some economics of healthcare stuff and surprisingly... It is actually fairly interesting. Infuriating at times... But actually some really interesting stuff on the structure of the health system / of health systems. Looking at different aspects... It IS hard. Yeah.
Posted by alexandra_k on November 20, 2014, at 21:06:08
In reply to Re: balance, posted by alexandra_k on November 20, 2014, at 19:28:42
got an offer for Health Science next year - before my other grades came back.
PHEW PHEW PHEW.
omfg that was so stressful
Posted by Twinleaf on November 20, 2014, at 21:55:32
In reply to Re: balance, posted by alexandra_k on November 20, 2014, at 21:06:08
WONDERFUL!
Posted by alexandra_k on November 21, 2014, at 1:40:30
In reply to Re: balance » alexandra_k, posted by Twinleaf on November 20, 2014, at 21:55:32
to first year, to be clear. to have the opportunity to compete for a transfer in place to second year along with the 1,300 or so others.
but still. i would have been pretty pissy to have gotten declined from the opportunity to try.
next year curriculum is MUCH more interesting to me. i've started on it already :)
Posted by alexandra_k on November 21, 2014, at 1:41:42
In reply to Re: balance, posted by alexandra_k on November 21, 2014, at 1:40:30
and because i accepted my place quick-smart i got the best possible lab times.
Posted by alexandra_k on November 22, 2014, at 20:31:33
In reply to Re: balance, posted by alexandra_k on November 21, 2014, at 1:41:42
actually... you know... i think something weird happened with my biology grade...
i got 5/5 for this online nonsense. and then i got 18.17/20 for labs. the only problem with that is pretty much everyone picked up those marks, so it doesn't settle a distribution (just means that some kids can be failed because if they didn't even do those components of the course...)
then i got 21.96/35 for the first test. which was a very bad grade, i thought. i was unhappy. but then, i hadn't read the book and i hadn't studied particularly much (it was before the study break), and i didn't know we were going to be asked to draw pictures...
so i went in to the exam with 45.13/60 possible marks... which is looking like an A- (75%)...
i did prepare for the exam. not massively... but reasonably... i did quite a bit... and i worked through past years... and i thought i had done quite well on the exam... not amazingly... but quite well...
was thinking I would come out with a B+ or an A-.
To have come out with a B... Means I only just passed the exam. That... That really doesn't sound right. I am certain I did a lot better than that.
Unless they scaled the living crap out of them. So the grading distribution was set by performance on the first test, since everyone picked up comparable marks for the other internally assessed components (except possibly the lowest quarter).
I still know a bunch of kids who wouldn't have done any preparation and who wouldn't have worked through past years exams and who didn't have a copy of the textbook... Did they all get C's??? WTF??? This seems super-weird to me.
I've sent a query... To inquire about whether the scaled the crap out of the exam... I don't know whether they are allowed to say anything... Only official channel is paying a lot of money for a recount. You don't even get that money back if they f*ck*d it up.
I have requested my exam script.. But that takes months (won't come back until after grades are finalised, fairly sure). I had forgotten all the closing of ranks / *ss covering you get working for the man...
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