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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rjlockhart37 on January 18, 2014, at 12:17:41
so....i've already made a post about goals, but im going to go farther, get people ready for life, no longer be afraid and in misery. The thing i have planned, is a system of improvement, through live talk about problems and non-professional therapy, because im not a licensed counselor, but i will make it here on babble.
Upon a request, can use biblical and various philosophy research and application. I want you to find and get your desire...individual therapy will be here....
i will try my best, let me say the truth about me, i want to help people, and get them in a better life, despite my own problems, but i do procrastinate and sometimes not be in good mood and motivation to do this current improvement, and im going to have to force this despite how i feel myself.... But i will do my best because this is accountability project.
let's start it, post your desire, your goals, and describe what is keeping you from them....i will go through each post and try to solve it
r
Posted by alexandra_k on January 18, 2014, at 12:40:11
In reply to improving your life - my duty to help you, posted by rjlockhart37 on January 18, 2014, at 12:17:41
when you want advice on getting your body in shape do you ask the person who:
1) is the super fit, always athletic, superstar athlete?
2) has sat on their butt most of their life continually *talking* about doing something?
3) someone who was out of shape who then managed to get themself into shape?who do you think is most likely to be able to help you?
when you want advice on how to progress your life towards goals do you ask the person who:
1) has always had fairly much everything
2) has sat on their butt most of their life constantly *talking* about doing something?
3) someone who didn't have a lot, who figured out how to progress their way towards stuff?when someone tries to offer me advice the first thing I wonder is:
and how is that working for *you*
?
you would not believe how many fat and out of shape people there are posting all about how best to train in the gym and how to eat right on the f*ck*ng internet. don't become one of them rj.
1) help yourself.
figure how to get the people in your life helping you, if that is what you need to do.
Posted by alexandra_k on January 18, 2014, at 12:41:16
In reply to Re: improving your life - my duty to help you, posted by alexandra_k on January 18, 2014, at 12:40:11
i do understand your desire to help people. people will probably help you help people if that is what you need. ask your folks or your teachers at school... i bet they can help you *do* some charity work. volunteer at a soup kitchen or something. befriend someone lonely...
Posted by rjlockhart37 on January 19, 2014, at 22:28:12
In reply to Re: improving your life - my duty to help you, posted by alexandra_k on January 18, 2014, at 12:40:11
first of all, i don't sit on my butt....2nd of all im school and 3rd i have a girlfriend that i do many things with.....im not anyone of those following keywords
but yes, i have to say i don't have a grandios position to give advice....it's just my rj opinion and advice from my own mind....im not dr-phil or Anthony Robbins....
and yes, i am chunky.....i'm not fat, im 226lbs, chunky...my main point was giving advice then doing it myself...like a mirror.... and posting about success....that's why i was just saying it's accountablity thing....but still it is a bit high in the sky plans that will crash in burn with the next couple days, or a week....
but yes, alot of sales people always use the term "im here to serve" for sales, and they are waiting to get off the clock, and get the paycheck....
so....helping people without a valid example is not cool.....it's more down with a social support circle
so........i belive me likes to make goals, and end the misery.....no one cares about someone miserable....only a short moment of piety....i don't really care for mentors, when i can learn it myself..won't go for that....get hungry for change and get what i want....and help others, but yes my desire to help is a desire to help myself
r
Posted by rjlockhart37 on January 19, 2014, at 23:50:07
In reply to Re: improving your life - my duty to help you, posted by alexandra_k on January 18, 2014, at 12:40:11
but really i want to redo my whole world, i've been doing this thing long enough...i've been thinking about an engagement ring for my gf, the place i've been in has been nothing but nothing, i stayed in this house with little accomplishment, scared, tormented, no help, it was awful, now that im 26 almost 27 it's hard....to realize i wasted all those years of my early 20's to this, i cried my eyes out couple days ago under the pillow, just not like this....i said no, no no over again before i went to sleep, i woke up today and realizzed that the time to start from nothing, the past of vanity and no productive work, it really has stinged me in the butt....now im panicking because of my un accomplishment....it drives me crazy, im tormented, even right now writings this....and feeling bad all the time doesnt mean take a slumber, i've been in a bad mood for many years and failure. I want to improve and also lives here on babble.....
im sorry if reacted too much, im just boiled up ready to explode with the realization of problems that havent been solved
r
Posted by baseball55 on January 20, 2014, at 19:50:06
In reply to Re: improving your life - my duty to help you » alexandra_k, posted by rjlockhart37 on January 19, 2014, at 23:50:07
RJ - Have you ever considered going to a career counsellor or life-coach instead of going to psychiatrists? It always seems to me, when I read your posts, that you need to get out of your home and feel competent about something in your life. You express vague plans about school, work, but nothing seems to gel.
Maybe if you met with someone to develop concrete plans and goals to develop competency in something, it would set you on a better path.
Posted by Jay_Original1 on January 21, 2014, at 21:15:14
In reply to Re: improving your life - my duty to help you, posted by alexandra_k on January 18, 2014, at 12:40:11
Well, I am a licensed, got the diploma and all, social worker. You wanna know how I spent last Xmas? In bed, in the fetal position, not knowing if tomorrow would come. Let's see...I have experience and credentials in sub-social work fields of mental health counselling, addictions, career counseling..almost 25 years+ training and experience. And I got 80's and 90's in school. Textbook knowledge is not what is needed...caring, genuine empathy is what is what needed. I hope..point taken.
Posted by alexandra_k on January 22, 2014, at 21:34:31
In reply to Re: improving your life - my duty to help you » alexandra_k, posted by Jay_Original1 on January 21, 2014, at 21:15:14
Half the battle is knowing what is good for one / what one needs, I suppose. I'm glad that you have an idea of what is good for you. Do you have thoughts on what might help you progress towards getting what you need?
I think pets are under-rated. Really very. For a lot of people out there.
Posted by alexandra_k on January 23, 2014, at 0:54:39
In reply to improving your life - my duty to help you, posted by rjlockhart37 on January 18, 2014, at 12:17:41
rj... i'm sorry if i hurt you. i really didn't mean to. i feel frustration... for you. that you are hurting so much about feeling like your life isn't progressing where you would like it to go... and i feel pretty powerless to do anything much to concretely help you. i hope that there are good people for you. your parents... i don't know... some teacher at school...
you... i don't know that i've ever seen you say a bad word about anybody. i don't read everything you write, tis true, but most of what i see is you genuinely reaching out to people for a person connection. i'm sorry if i made you feel badly. i do value your presence here. and wish you good things.
and you know what... there really are a whole bunch of fat people on the internet offering other people training advice. not saying that you are one of them. really. but you know what??? even if you were... you'd be in company. no particular reason why it is alright for thousands of other people to do this but not you. sigh.
i feel ambivalent about the internet mostly. sigh.
Posted by rjlockhart37 on January 23, 2014, at 12:48:36
In reply to Re: improving your life - my duty to help you » rjlockhart37, posted by baseball55 on January 20, 2014, at 19:50:06
yes....it would be nice, the only thing is my counselor i see, it's hard to talk to him, but see i am my own coach, i coach myself because i know from failure from the past, having sky high ideas that crash and burn within a couple months....
the main thing, why i started to coach myself is the previous years from 2009-2013 was the most unproductive, depressing period my life...early 20's where wasted, i stayed at home, scared and not motivated because i had in my mind i couldnt do anything....so now, it's 2014 and i realized about 2 weeks ago....that i need to wake up, what ever hibrination phase i went into for 4 years, it's a wake up time, and i'm in school, not real difficult classes, but still it's somewhere, applied for various jobs....and still applying...
my plans are planned, there not concrete yet, but they are planned, job, school, and move to whatever will come after that.....
the pdoc only gives my Nuvigil for this low energy, depressing state.....the prozac somewhat helps, but the lamictal is a bit of a pull back, im on 400mgs and it's a bit too much stablizing to where my mood is influenced by Lamotragine....
but thank you baseball, i really appricate your help, my main thing, is to start my own help, motivation, accountibily phase, and take other people with me, here on babble....
i will move on soon, trying to get away from depression that is caused by previous failure....it's gonna be terminated, it's caused too much misery....
thank you for posting
r
Posted by rjlockhart37 on January 23, 2014, at 12:57:11
In reply to Re: improving your life - my duty to help you, posted by alexandra_k on January 23, 2014, at 0:54:39
right....people that are not a valid example, to the advice, is not that good....im 226lbs...im chunky, and still i am not in a position to give advice like some guru, or therpist online....being a valid example on the advice....but still i do have a desire to sympathize with people, and help them, despite my sitation
it's ok, don't worry you didnt hurt me, i reacted too fast to the post, and i didnt realize the main point that you where making, what happened..i read the part that someone sit's and gives advice who is not doing productive things...or having a valid example for the advice being given.....i reacted too fast...im sorry i wrote the post....i understand you, don't feel bad either....
the main thing i was wanting is to help myself and other people both at the same time, like a support circle to improve not only me, but others, like being a school bus and picking up people and taking them with me....
thank you for posting back, don't feel bad...you where gave me insight to this....i shouldnt of reacted so fast, i did this with a poster here....racer....i totally didnt get her point of her post, and i wrote something offensive back to her....and still till today, i don't talk to her...i don't know if she didnt forgive me....
thank you, really, :)
r
Posted by alexandra_k on January 23, 2014, at 13:47:23
In reply to Re: improving your life - my duty to help you » alexandra_k, posted by rjlockhart37 on January 23, 2014, at 12:57:11
i just feel like you could really use some help in setting *realistic* goals. coming up with realistic goals isn't easy -- it is HARD. most people need help with learning how to do it.
if your goals are too lofty... then it is fairly inevitable that you won't progress particularly towards them... then you will feel demoralised and useless and good for nothing... i hear you feeling a lot like that... and i don't think it is that you are lazy or good for nothing or anything like that... so much as your (legitimately) needing a little help from someone in figuring out realistic goals.
i mean... apparently some people come up with a bunch of goals. then they set out a realistic time frame. so some goals... are life goals. hopefully you will achieve them before death. and other goals are more like 30 year plans. and some might be in the 10 year frame. and others... can be as simple as taking a shower or brushing ones teeth (believe me - i've been in a place where that was a realistic goal and where i darned well deserved to feel good about myself for having mustered up the... something something... to have done it.)
when you have clear goals and can precisely measure concrete progress towards them... well... i really do think that something like this underwrites self esteem. a sense of agency and power and accomplishment and achievement in this world. without that... i don't see how people can develop very many good feelings about themself.
but figuring out realistic goals is HARD. i... wish you had some help with that, is all. i... i don't know what is realistic for you... because i don't have any way of assessing what is achievable with a bit of encouragement and work and reward... too easy and nothing much good comes out of it... but too hard and nothing much good comes out of it either... but from where i am.... i really don't see what more i can do..
Posted by baseball55 on January 23, 2014, at 20:00:36
In reply to Re: improving your life - my duty to help you, posted by alexandra_k on January 23, 2014, at 13:47:23
RJ - What are you studying in school? Is it something that makes you happy, feel excited, feel competent? Feeling competent is important. If people do things that they don't like or aren't really good at, they feel unhappy and anxious and despairing.
Have you ever thought about training to be a mental health counselor? They have two year degree programs, I believe. You could work with troubled teenagers in a group home or with people who have had addiction problems. You would be able to do some of the things you want to do in a practical way.
If your counselor isn't helping you set concrete, achievable goals, then maybe you should find someone else. When I was going through a professional crisis, my therapist and p-doc did not focus on my depression and meds. They would say, okay, so what are you going to do this week to move forward? You don't want a counselor who validates your negative self-thoughts and insecurities. You want someone to push you forward.
I read something, somewhere about SMART goals. I think (but am not absolutely sure - you can google it) SMART stands for - specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, time-limited. The last is important. You don't want to set pie-in-the-sky, one-of-these-days kind of goals. What can you do today? Tomorrow? This week?
An example of a SMART goal would be - I am going to check out this week the prerequisites for some program of study that I think I will enjoy. That's all. Just check out the prerequisites. Not something too big - like, I'm going to go to school to be a doctor, but I have no idea how or when I'm going to be able to do this.
I don't know if this helps. But being your own coach is not doing you any good. We all need help and advice from others. None of us can do this on our own.
Posted by rjlockhart37 on January 23, 2014, at 23:28:11
In reply to Re: improving your life - my duty to help you, posted by baseball55 on January 23, 2014, at 20:00:36
being a counselor for troubled people sounds good, but still i have face my demons before i can be an example of knowing of whats best...im still in the gloom relm, and the reason of this is because my mother.....i need to get a stable job and pay for my school....
it's crazy, i have to go through so much crap with her, not saying she's bad but she's paying for my school and doenst want me to take courses that she think i would fail at....which basically means, no classes only the remideial program i'm in....i've gotta get a stable job, and that is exactly what i've been doing the past 4 hbours, applying online...
see....about 6-7 years ago, i posted help-rj posts, about similar references of my situation right now, 1 i can't take stimulants, and 2nd codependecy with my parents, and i posted so much, about joining the marines, that never happened, but see, its the same thing again, and this time it's stratagy, but getting a job with the income for my own place, and 2nd a car...it's gonna be quite challanging....to get away from all this....can't really say im going to do something until it starts working, job, save for a car....and see where that goes....
going to counselors or the goverment, i've done it before, it didnt work, i simply have to go the way 85percent of the US did when they where 18, get a job, self support/sufficient.....i don't want to talk and talk about this and waste time...it's gotta be done, more job applications is good goal for this situation....thanks....i really thank you for your post back to me:)
r
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