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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Partlycloudy on January 16, 2014, at 8:36:01
I am fortunate that I was able to take a couple of days to run away from home. Divorce filing is imminent and my body is on full alert with stress.
I go away and what do I do but sleep. Nap. Sleep some more. Cry and hide the tears from other people. No one wants to ever know about this stuff. But the sleep, it has been beautiful. I am not a new person, but much restored.
No headaches, though. That is good. I know I am doing the right thing. No conflict there; but the unknown has me shaking like a leaf.
Posted by Phillipa on January 16, 2014, at 9:33:40
In reply to A few days away from home, posted by Partlycloudy on January 16, 2014, at 8:36:01
I thought since the kitchen remodeling was finished life was back to normal? Phillipa
Posted by Partlycloudy on January 16, 2014, at 10:18:16
In reply to Re: A few days away from home » Partlycloudy, posted by Phillipa on January 16, 2014, at 9:33:40
It will never be normal. And remodel is not finished, but the marriage is.
Posted by alexandra_k on January 16, 2014, at 13:04:32
In reply to Re: A few days away from home, posted by Partlycloudy on January 16, 2014, at 10:18:16
fear of the unknown is huge. at least, it is for me. i'm glad to hear that you got some sleep, and that it helped. it helps me a lot, too. i think sometimes a lot of things get worked out when we sleep.
Posted by Partlycloudy on January 16, 2014, at 14:19:28
In reply to Re: A few days away from home » Partlycloudy, posted by alexandra_k on January 16, 2014, at 13:04:32
I don't where I am going to live and have never looked for a place. So embarrassed. At my age. I think I can handle other things. And how do you split up two lives?
The crying is problematic.
Posted by Poet on January 16, 2014, at 16:24:13
In reply to A few days away from home, posted by Partlycloudy on January 16, 2014, at 8:36:01
Hi PC,
The unknown is frightening and a marriage ending is stressful under any circumstances. I'm glad you could get away and get some sleep. Looking for a place to live can be stressful, too. Start with how much you can afford to pay and then look at what you can get for that amount.
Good luck and sleep well.
Poet
Posted by Ronnjee on January 16, 2014, at 17:34:31
In reply to Re: A few days away from home » Partlycloudy, posted by Poet on January 16, 2014, at 16:24:13
I won't state any platitudes or offer advice, but I can certainly empathise, as I had a 27 year marriage dissolve. Even if there's no saving a marriage, the sense of a shattered dream is emotionally devastating. I wish you well on this journey.
Posted by baseball55 on January 16, 2014, at 19:30:22
In reply to Re: A few days away from home, posted by Ronnjee on January 16, 2014, at 17:34:31
I'm sorry to hear about your marriage ending. I thought everything was fine, given your kitchen redo and all. Was this sudden or had things been coming apart for a while? I don't know what I'd do if my marriage fell apart. Just the financial implications are frightening, not to mention all the emotional turmoil.
Posted by Partlycloudy on January 16, 2014, at 20:26:47
In reply to Re: A few days away from home, posted by baseball55 on January 16, 2014, at 19:30:22
The kitchen redo was an example of trying to make the real world do what we had been unable to do ourselves. It has been almost a year, so it has been a mighty project.
Concurrently, my PTSD, depression and anxiety have been getting the old "it's all in your head" treatment at home. Yes, I know that very well dear, but his behaviours have been making the symptoms worse.
Let's go to a xxx festival (lots of people and bad arts or crafts)
How about a music festival? (No, obnoxious drunk people smoking cigars)
Sunday market? (Crap merchandise and overcrowded)Same problem over and over, met with same response. Not a success. Lack of positive response creates withdrawal in me. More comfort. meditation.
Posted by Phillipa on January 16, 2014, at 20:49:26
In reply to Re: A few days away from home, posted by Partlycloudy on January 16, 2014, at 20:26:47
I am really sorry. I honestly don't know what to say. Been there done that but when younger and before mental health issues. And I was working then. If that happened today. I couldn't do it. It's not the housing it the emotional stuff. I have no interested family either. It for me would be a solo flight to no idea where. I think I'd freeze emotionally. Phillipa
Posted by Partlycloudy on January 17, 2014, at 6:51:26
In reply to Re: A few days away from home » Partlycloudy, posted by Phillipa on January 16, 2014, at 20:49:26
Honestly, I just cry and journal it all. He comes by it honestly - a family history of denial and "keep secrets secret" that has been in his power to change. But he decided that I was the problem, not he. I learned long ago it's not up to me to change someone else, but this has affected my mental and physical health. Doctors' orders. My heart is in pieces, but I can't continue living like this.
Posted by Phillipa on January 17, 2014, at 21:20:53
In reply to Re: A few days away from home, posted by Partlycloudy on January 17, 2014, at 6:51:26
I'm truly sorry. Phillipa
Posted by Partlycloudy on January 18, 2014, at 5:54:19
In reply to Re: A few days away from home » Partlycloudy, posted by Phillipa on January 17, 2014, at 21:20:53
Thank you, Phillipa. I had nowhere else to go with my grief.
PC
Posted by Phillipa on January 18, 2014, at 20:46:15
In reply to Re: A few days away from home, posted by Partlycloudy on January 18, 2014, at 5:54:19
Glad you feel safe enough to come here . Phillipa
Posted by Partlycloudy on January 19, 2014, at 6:28:00
In reply to Re: A few days away from home » Partlycloudy, posted by Phillipa on January 18, 2014, at 20:46:15
Me too.
Posted by Phillipa on January 19, 2014, at 20:28:39
In reply to Re: A few days away from home, posted by Partlycloudy on January 19, 2014, at 6:28:00
It helps to know one has a place to go. Phillipa
This is the end of the thread.
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