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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 21 of 21. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Angela2 on December 31, 2013, at 21:10:19
I haven't seen my therapist in so long. I have an anxiety disorder. More than just social. It feels crippling. It feels like, I am in a prison and can never leave. I obsess and worry and ruminate. Not having many friends doesn't help. My best friend is going away. not physically. but emotionally. We are drifting apart. And I keep clinging to him. If someone reads this, please tell me I'm going to be ok.
Posted by alexandra_k on December 31, 2013, at 21:40:58
In reply to :(, posted by Angela2 on December 31, 2013, at 21:10:19
you are going to be okay. this feeling will pass and you will feel connected again...
i think right now is a hard time of year for a lot of people... your friend might be feeling worn a little thin about now - it might just take some time...
is your t away over the holidays? or... how come you haven't seen them in a while? are you seeing them again? when does school start for you?
Posted by Angela2 on December 31, 2013, at 22:11:25
In reply to Re: :(, posted by alexandra_k on December 31, 2013, at 21:40:58
Alex, thanks so much for the reassurance. I had the same T for 4 years. In September, she left the practice. It was for the best really. We were going around in circles and hitting brick walls with some things and I needed a change. But it's hitting me, she was so supportive. and I saw her once a week. My new therapist is a guy. So it's kind of weird. I don't see him often. I started seeing a woman outside the practice, but I have to pay so I don't see her often either. But I'm seeing her at the end of the week, and seeing him next week, so that's good.
I ended up deciding not to take classes. I have difficulty with follow-through, and felt like my money'd be better spent at something else, or at least, cheaper, for now.
Which brings me toI don't have that much going on. I don't have a job. I do volunteer. So there's that. But it's not very exciting. If you ask me what I'd LIKE to dowell, it seems to change a lot. I feel pressure to know the answer to this. and to have a career in it right away. because I'm 30.which just makes me unhappier, and feel more stressed, therefore not being able to figure it out.
Posted by alexandra_k on December 31, 2013, at 22:59:12
In reply to Re: :(, posted by Angela2 on December 31, 2013, at 22:11:25
i felt kind of like i was going round in circles a bit with my last t, too. but it was still hard when i wasn't regularly seeing him anymore. missed the support at times, yeah. still do, sometimes.
i'm glad that you have a couple appointments coming up. i don't know about you, but for me... they can feel like a bit of a lifeline sometimes. i have an appointment coming up for next week (though i need to try and organize a reschedule) and knowing it is there means a lot for me. i need to try and not get my hopes up about it, though... ugh.
> If you ask me what I'd LIKE to dowell, it seems to change a lot. I feel pressure to know the answer to this. and to have a career in it right away. because I'm 30.which just makes me unhappier, and feel more stressed, therefore not being able to figure it out.
hmm...
i discovered this blog a couple years back... when... maybe when my passion for philosophy started to flag (when I realized i needed to write something that would suck).
it is hard. on the one hand... it seems important just to pick something and run with it (and doesn't matter so much what it is). but that can be so hard because of opportunity cost. on the other hand... it does seem important to pick something one would enjoy. i... don't know what to say. it is hard.
have you thought about doing an oe? getting away from it all or something like that? i don't know what means you have / what sorts of opportunities may be available... can you do a vocational degree... like law or computer science or something where there really are jobs out the other end... then go on student exchanges or something... or... well... i've been looking into this volunteering in vanuatu, thing... i honestly don't know...
i hate that feeling of not quite knowing what to do with myself.
Posted by alexandra_k on December 31, 2013, at 23:08:48
In reply to Re: :(, posted by alexandra_k on December 31, 2013, at 22:59:12
there are quite a few posts... they got me thinking. a lot.
Posted by alexandra_k on December 31, 2013, at 23:16:35
In reply to Re: :(, posted by alexandra_k on December 31, 2013, at 23:08:48
this is a repost of one of the comments:
> How long will you need to find your truest, most productive niche? This I cannot predict, for, sadly, access to a podium confers no gift of prophecy. But I can say that however long it takes, it will be time well spent. I am reminded of a friend from the early 1970s, Edward Witten. I liked Ed, but felt sorry for him, too, because, for all his potential, he lacked focus. He had been a history major in college, and a linguistics minor. On graduating, though, he concluded that, as rewarding as these fields had been, he was not really cut out to make a living at them. He decided that what he was really meant to do was study economics. And so, he applied to graduate school, and was accepted at the University of Wisconsin. And, after only a semester, he dropped out of the program. Not for him. So, history was out; linguistics, out; economics, out. What to do?
> This was a time of widespread political activism, and Ed became an aide to Senator George McGovern, then running for the presidency on an anti-war platform. He also wrote articles for political journals like the Nation and the New Republic. After some months, Ed realized that politics was not for him, because, in his words, it demanded qualities he did not have, foremost among them common sense. All right, then: history, linguistics, economics, politics, were all out as career choices. What to do? Ed suddenly realized that he was really suited to study mathematics. So he applied to graduate school, and was accepted at Princeton. I met him midway through his first year therejust after he had dropped out of the mathematics department. He realized, he said, that what he was really meant to do was study physics; he applied to the physics department, and was accepted. I was happy for him. But I lamented all the false starts he had made, and how his career opportunities appeared to be passing him by.
> Many years later, in 1987, I was reading the New York Times magazine and saw a full-page picture akin to a mug shot, of a thin man with a large head staring out of thick glasses. It was Ed Witten! I was stunned. What was he doing in the Times magazine? Well, he was being profiled as the Einstein of his age, a pioneer of a revolution in physics called String Theory. Colleagues at Harvard and Princeton, who marvelled at his use of bizarre mathematics to solve physics problems, claimed that his ideas, popularly called a theory of everything, might at last explain the origins and nature of the cosmos. Ed said modestly of his theories that it was really much easier to solve problems when you analyzed them in at least ten dimensions. Perhaps. Much clearer to me was an observation Ed made that appeared near the end of this article: every one of us has talent; the great challenge in life is finding an outlet to express it. I thought, he has truly earned the right to say that. And I realized that, for all my earlier concerns that he had squandered his time, in fact his entire career paththe ventures in history, linguistics, economics, politics, math, as well as physicshad been rewarding: a time of hard work, self-discovery, and new insight into his potential based on growing experience.
:)
Posted by SLS on January 1, 2014, at 8:54:49
In reply to :(, posted by Angela2 on December 31, 2013, at 21:10:19
Hi Angela.
> I haven't seen my therapist in so long. I have an anxiety disorder. More than just social. It feels crippling. It feels like, I am in a prison and can never leave. I obsess and worry and ruminate. Not having many friends doesn't help. My best friend is going away. not physically. but emotionally. We are drifting apart. And I keep clinging to him. If someone reads this, please tell me I'm going to be ok.
I haven't read the other posts along this thread, but I thought that I would chime in anyway. From a mathematical viewpoint, since the majority of people make it through periods of heartache and loneliness, the odds are that you will get through these things as well.
My concerns are:
1. Why haven't you seen your therapist?
2. What kind of psychotherapy were you receiving?
3. Is your psychotherapist effective for you?
4. What is the diagnosis for your anxiety disorder?
5. Do you see a psychiatrist?
6. What treatments have you tried for the anxiety disorder?
7. Is your mental illness the driving force for the deterioration of your relationship with your friend?
8. Are you always at least somewhat depressed, even when things are going well?
9. Why don't you have any friends?
10. PTSD?
11. Childhood trauma or neglect?
12. Borderline Personality Disorder?You really don't have to answer each of these questions here, but I hope you find them helpful. As for me, it helps to compartmentalize my issues during those times when you have to function. It is unlikely that you can process everything in one day and have it be done. It takes time, but don't give up. I believe that you will need to treat the biological and psychological at the same time. Choosing one over the other will get you stuck.
"The wisdom of patience comes in knowing
that one must give Time time to work."My best guess is that you will emerge better and stronger for having gone through this crisis than you were when entering it.
Have a HEALTHY new year. The happiness will come later.
- Scott
Posted by Angela2 on January 1, 2014, at 13:25:29
In reply to Re: :(, posted by alexandra_k on December 31, 2013, at 23:08:48
Thank you for the links, Alex :) I love Ira Glass.
Posted by Angela2 on January 1, 2014, at 13:28:37
In reply to Re: :), posted by Angela2 on January 1, 2014, at 13:25:29
Also wanted to let you know I'm feeling better. After posting yesterday, I just zoned out at the TV, watching something mindless, Family Guy :D Made me laugh too. I also talked to my friend today, which had a good outcome. Thanks for the support.
Posted by alexandra_k on January 1, 2014, at 15:22:23
In reply to Re: :( » Angela2, posted by SLS on January 1, 2014, at 8:54:49
> I haven't read the other posts along this thread, but I thought that I would chime in anyway.
wow. angela's second post wasn't that long. or hard to parse. or anything.
Posted by SLS on January 1, 2014, at 22:17:55
In reply to Re: :(, posted by alexandra_k on January 1, 2014, at 15:22:23
> > I haven't read the other posts along this thread, but I thought that I would chime in anyway.
> wow. angela's second post wasn't that long.
For you, perhaps. Maybe you should add to your gratitude list the ability to read.
> or hard to parse. or anything.
Why is this a problem for you?
Wow.
Just so that you might better understand me, reading whole paragraphs word-for-word is still a challenge for me, despite my improved condition. It remains much easier for me to write than to read. Thanks.
I'll see if I can parse a few more posts along this thread. I hope I haven't done too much damage.
- Scott
Posted by SLS on January 1, 2014, at 22:27:33
In reply to :(, posted by Angela2 on December 31, 2013, at 21:10:19
> I haven't seen my therapist in so long. I have an anxiety disorder. More than just social. It feels crippling. It feels like, I am in a prison and can never leave. I obsess and worry and ruminate. Not having many friends doesn't help. My best friend is going away. not physically. but emotionally. We are drifting apart. And I keep clinging to him. If someone reads this, please tell me I'm going to be ok.
Alexandra_K commented on my posting a response to your initial post along this thread (included above) without my having read your subsequent posts first.
I hope I haven't hurt you in some way.
- Scott
Posted by SLS on January 1, 2014, at 22:45:59
In reply to Re: :(, posted by alexandra_k on January 1, 2014, at 15:22:23
> > I haven't read the other posts along this thread, but I thought that I would chime in anyway.
> wow. angela's second post wasn't that long. or hard to parse. or anything.
Alexandra: I am having trouble parsing the other posts along this thread such that I should understand your "wow" reaction. Perhaps you can explain it to me?
I understand that it would have been ideal for me to read every post before responding. Be that as it may, I hope you can help me to understand how my first post was damaging or somehow counterproductive. Perhaps I can better interact with Angela in the future.
- Scott
Posted by alexandra_k on January 2, 2014, at 0:59:26
In reply to Re: :( » alexandra_k, posted by SLS on January 1, 2014, at 22:45:59
> > > I haven't read the other posts along this thread, but I thought that I would chime in anyway.
> > wow. angela's second post wasn't that long. or hard to parse. or anything.> Alexandra: I am having trouble parsing the other posts along this thread such that I should understand your "wow" reaction. Perhaps you can explain it to me?
> I understand that it would have been ideal for me to read every post before responding. Be that as it may, I hope you can help me to understand how my first post was damaging or somehow counterproductive. Perhaps I can better interact with Angela in the future.
it was just that the answer to your first three questions was in the first paragraph of angela's second (and only other) post in the thread.
it wasn't buried in the murky depths of a long paragraph (as i am wont to do) or buried in the murky depths of 5 of 9 posts (as i am also wont to do). it was right there.
i'm sorry if i hurt your feelings. if i was angela i would be like... what!? why do i even both speaking at all!?
Posted by alexandra_k on January 2, 2014, at 1:06:11
In reply to Re: :(, posted by alexandra_k on January 2, 2014, at 0:59:26
> what!? why do i even both speaking at all!?
which is how i feel quite a lot on these boards.
snell... helped me.
because he(?) helped me articulate the difficulty i have with people who are all like 'oh, i get what you mean' 'i TOTALLY understand you' 'COMPELETELY get you' 'i'm JUST LIKE YOU' and other nonsense...
when they demonstrate complete inability to parse the first half of the second sentence, much of the time. and / or inability to form basic f*ck*ng inferences, indeed (i mean, really, modus ponens is f*ck*ng high tech in comparision).
but what would i know...
i remember when i was a kid and people were all like 'oh yeah, she can read it, but she doesn't really UNDERSTAND what she is reading'.
uh huh.
thats why i did so well on the comprehension tests - when they actually bothered to do them.
for sure.
people are so f*ck*ng understanding. and my life has profited consdierably because of it.
Posted by alexandra_k on January 2, 2014, at 1:18:34
In reply to Re: :(, posted by alexandra_k on January 2, 2014, at 1:06:11
oh. and of course. i don't understand sarcasm. not at all.
Posted by SLS on January 2, 2014, at 10:03:32
In reply to Re: :(, posted by alexandra_k on January 2, 2014, at 1:18:34
> oh. and of course. i don't understand sarcasm. not at all.
Sarcasm? :-D
Do you find it necessary that you should understand sarcasm in order to fully understand my posts?
> it was just that the answer to your first three questions was in the first paragraph of angela's second (and only other) post in the thread.
So... Why don't YOU give ME some SUPPORT? Geesh. You should know by now that reading is a challenge for me. I must be selective in the battles I choose. The written word is not easily accessible to me. It becomes my opponent. It often leaves me drained and cognitively slowed.
> it wasn't buried in the murky depths of a long paragraph (as i am wont to do) or buried in the murky depths of 5 of 9 posts (as i am also wont to do). it was right there.
I didn't read Angela's second post because this is what I saw in her first post:
"I haven't seen my therapist in so long."
"It feels crippling. It feels like, I am in a prison and can never leave."
" I obsess and worry and ruminate. Not having many friends doesn't help."
" My best friend is going away. not physically. but emotionally."
" We are drifting apart. And I keep clinging to him."> i'm sorry if i hurt your feelings.
You're funny. :-)
> if i was angela i would be like... what!? why do i even both speaking at all!?
You aren't Angela.
I hope that Angela is not reticent to speak for herself, given the lack of support we have shown her during our selfish bantering. I did offer Angela an opportunity to let me know if anything I wrote hurt her. I could really use some help in having someone identify in what ways I hurt Angela so that I might improve my communication skills. Unfortunately, my reading challenges persist, and I will continue to navigate clumsily through posts.
Angela: I am sorry that your thread was more or less hijacked by A_K and me.
What do you need from people on Psycho-Babble?
In what ways can I improve my communication with you so that you get what you need?
- Scott
Posted by SLS on January 2, 2014, at 10:25:40
In reply to :(, posted by Angela2 on December 31, 2013, at 21:10:19
> I haven't seen my therapist in so long. I have an anxiety disorder. More than just social. It feels crippling. It feels like, I am in a prison and can never leave. I obsess and worry and ruminate. Not having many friends doesn't help. My best friend is going away. not physically. but emotionally. We are drifting apart. And I keep clinging to him. If someone reads this, please tell me I'm going to be ok.
Angela: I am sorry that your thread was more or less hijacked by Alexandra_K and me.
What do you need from people on Psycho-Babble right now?
In what ways can I improve my communication with you so that you get what you need?
You don't appear to be afraid of doing hard work. You will DEFINITELY be okay. (You already are).
:-)
- Scott
Posted by Angela2 on January 2, 2014, at 15:52:03
In reply to Re: :) » Angela2, posted by SLS on January 2, 2014, at 10:25:40
Hey Scott, I am touched. I appreciate that you have made an effort to make yourself clear to me.
Basically, I feel better, and just needed to express myself. I was not comfortable answering a lot of questions about my diagnosis and stuff, and I'm glad you have made it clear that you are a good person just trying to help!!
Posted by alexandra_k on January 2, 2014, at 21:47:52
In reply to Re: :), posted by Angela2 on January 2, 2014, at 15:52:03
hi. yeah, i'm sorry for hijacking your thread with my own crap :-/
so glad to hear you are feeling better :-)
Posted by Angela2 on January 3, 2014, at 16:41:56
In reply to Re: :) » Angela2, posted by alexandra_k on January 2, 2014, at 21:47:52
It's OK. No worries. :)
This is the end of the thread.
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