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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Phil on February 17, 2013, at 8:05:43
http://www.clickbipolarblog.com/2013/02/but-shes-alcoholic-i-have-to-do.html
Posted by Phillipa on February 17, 2013, at 10:09:13
In reply to My life and why I'm bipolar, posted by Phil on February 17, 2013, at 8:05:43
Phil thanks for sharing. I had a lonely childhood also. For different reason. Physical illness of Mother and Father just there I think? See I also don't remember all. Phillipa
Posted by schleprock on February 17, 2013, at 22:26:26
In reply to My life and why I'm bipolar, posted by Phil on February 17, 2013, at 8:05:43
I had a somewhat happy childhood and still wound up with anxiety/depression. It's worse in a way because thinking back to the child I was, that child would have never suspected to end up as what I am today. My parents (who were somewhat "separated" while I was growing up and are now divorced) are pretty supportive to the capacity that they can be. I can only conclude that my problems are all my fault somehow. At least you have people you can hold responsible, with very justifiable motives. I just have self-hatred. In the end, however, neither is easier than the other.
Posted by schleprock on February 17, 2013, at 22:29:34
In reply to Re: My life and why I'm bipolar, posted by schleprock on February 17, 2013, at 22:26:26
I just feel like I've disappointed a lot of people.
Posted by Phillipa on February 17, 2013, at 23:20:24
In reply to Re: My life and why I'm bipolar, posted by schleprock on February 17, 2013, at 22:29:34
It's not your fault. If you broke you arm or leg would that be your fault? No unless you jumped off the roof. Phillipa
Posted by Phil on February 18, 2013, at 8:55:04
In reply to Re: My life and why I'm bipolar, posted by schleprock on February 17, 2013, at 22:29:34
That's a difficult feeling to deal with but I have a feeling that you haven't disappointed anyone. I mean anyone that counts. The ones who love you will love you no matter what.
Due to my long run with MI and with some high profile fkups everyone knows I'm unwell. Many know my past esp with the blog. But I have to tell my story, right or wrong. Well, I have let girlfriends down but they never knew how hard it hit me and how I didn't understand it myself. They went on with their lives. I was stuck.
Tell you a story schleprock. When I was around 25 I had a pretty good job, a relationship and we loved each other and my mother was finally sober.We were driving to see my mom and family on Christmas day. Suddenly I had to pull off the highway, Out of nowhere I was overcome with emotion and couldn't stop crying. My gf freaked out asking what's wrong, what's wrong? Finally I said, I'm so happy. I had never really felt that way and I know she couldn't understand. I still get emotional thinking about it.
Posted by Toph on February 18, 2013, at 16:21:12
In reply to Re: My life and why I'm bipolar » schleprock, posted by Phil on February 18, 2013, at 8:55:04
I'm confused by this whole bipolar spectrum thing Phil. I'm old enough to remember when either you were manic depressive (bipolar 1) or not. Are you suggesting that your life experiences induced your bipolar illness or exacerbated it? I had a fairly benign childhood and ended up with a pretty severe case of bipolar 1. I suppose the hope is if enviroment worsens the illness then therapy might ameliorate the condition.
Posted by sigismund on February 18, 2013, at 16:48:21
In reply to Re: My life and why I'm bipolar » Phil, posted by Toph on February 18, 2013, at 16:21:12
>I'm old enough to remember when either you were manic depressive (bipolar 1) or not
Me too. Or schizophrenic.
I also remember many young people who were diagnosed as schizophrenic because they felt like they were on a thousand tabs of acid (as one said to me) and then swam the river naked and ended on someone's lawn talking about how they were JC, or how the Chinese and the Russians had electrodes in their heads and world peace depended on the thoughts they had. These two were quite lucid, more so than I was, it wasn't as if they had 'problems' (like I thought I had), and then there were a couple of others who had something else, word salad and stuff, very hard to make sense of.
Then there were a few others who had periods perhaps a year long, not much sleep and lots of talk, a lot of pressure, but no treatment and perhaps they were not worse off for that.
Posted by Toph on February 19, 2013, at 9:00:39
In reply to Re: My life and why I'm bipolar » Toph, posted by sigismund on February 18, 2013, at 16:48:21
My initial diagnosis Sig was schizophrenia following my first major manic episode 40 years ago. After Thorazine brought me down and I had a subsequent major depressive episode Manic Depression became the official diagnosis. I will never know for certain what role psychedelics played in my illness. I think not that much, not as much as amphetamine misuse would later cause mania. They say that recreational drugs are safer on lithium, but I'm too old now to test that theory.
This is the end of the thread.
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