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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by sigismund on July 21, 2011, at 20:32:13
In reply to Re: Dragging... (warning uncheerful post ;-) » sleepygirl2, posted by sigismund on July 21, 2011, at 20:19:37
Life is such a waste.
You know that thing Jesus said along the lines of....and if anyone should harm a hair on the heads of these little ones, it were better that a millstone were hung around his neck and he be cast into the bottom of the sea.
I swear, not one person in ten understood that.
Posted by sleepygirl2 on July 21, 2011, at 21:54:33
In reply to Re: Dragging... (warning uncheerful post ;-) » sleepygirl2, posted by sigismund on July 21, 2011, at 20:19:37
> Things are OK.
Good :-)
>
> Long ago at boarding school I fell in love with a boy and we had an affair which ended with the guilts.
> Last night, 45 years later, he rang me up.wow, that's a long time to keep someone in your mind without seeing them.
> In a little part of myself I have always loved him, which I suppose means I really liked myself loving him.
> (Once I had got rid of all those ridiculous ideas.)ridiculous? why?
> Anyway, it turns out he is an item with a woman we know, and lives near here.
>
> This situation has the potential for very interesting conversations, don't you think?absolutely
> Too interesting? Could be a bit graphic. How much discretion is required? I can be so indiscreet.I don't know. Are there secrets that need to be kept??
Posted by Phillipa on July 21, 2011, at 21:54:41
In reply to Re: Dragging... (warning uncheerful post ;-) » sleepygirl2, posted by sigismund on July 21, 2011, at 20:19:37
Sigi none at all sounds like a very interesting story. I would love to hear more. Oh how was boarding school other than the affair? PJxx
Posted by sleepygirl2 on July 21, 2011, at 21:56:15
In reply to Re: Dragging... (warning uncheerful post ;-), posted by sigismund on July 21, 2011, at 20:32:13
> Life is such a waste.
why sig?
> You know that thing Jesus said along the lines of....and if anyone should harm a hair on the heads of these little ones, it were better that a millstone were hung around his neck and he be cast into the bottom of the sea.
>
> I swear, not one person in ten understood that.
Posted by Phillipa on July 21, 2011, at 22:05:15
In reply to Re: Dragging... (warning uncheerful post ;-) » sigismund, posted by sleepygirl2 on July 21, 2011, at 21:56:15
Hi Sleepy seen FB around? Phillipa
Posted by sleepygirl2 on July 21, 2011, at 22:12:57
In reply to Re: Dragging... (warning uncheerful post ;-) » sleepygirl2, posted by Phillipa on July 21, 2011, at 22:05:15
> Hi Sleepy seen FB around? Phillipa
yeah, saw her on meds
xanax post
-sleepster
Posted by Phillipa on July 21, 2011, at 23:32:15
In reply to Re: Dragging... (warning uncheerful post ;-) » Phillipa, posted by sleepygirl2 on July 21, 2011, at 22:12:57
Thanks appreciate it. Phillipa
Posted by sigismund on July 22, 2011, at 0:53:18
In reply to Re: Dragging... (warning uncheerful post ;-) » sigismund, posted by sleepygirl2 on July 21, 2011, at 21:54:33
The ridiculous ideas or feelings I meant is the internalised form of the attack on innocent spontaneous affection.
In the 50s Australia was positively neanderthal when it came to anything resembling homosexuality. And the very term homosexuality fills me with annoyance. I often wish humans would shut the f*ck up. Anyway kids (adolescents, can the paedophile question be far behind me here?) play, sometimes it leads to sex, which is cool by me. In fact, in a boarding school, before puberty around age 11, there was a kid of non-sexual sex (if I can so term it) which was a reasonable substitute for the absence of any parental affection coupled with the kind of awful treatment from the masters, a delightful term I will retain to give you the correct feel. This happy time ended at puberty when sex drive kicked in and the power of the (social) state (I almost feel) was marshaled to seek out and destroy some for the edification of others. You always need a few victims to keep people on their toes.
So the ideas are ridiculous because they are, but also because they are unkind, and because they are so ignorant and so middle class 50s respectable. Just ghastly.
So much more acceptable to cane a whole room full of boys in their pyjamas after lights out for talking. That is nice and clean. But God forbid any boy should love another. That is why I was quoting Jesus.
No there are no secrets. Well, not from me and my wife, but we tried being real to each other ages ago. But I don't want to talk about what we did in front of his new partner.
Posted by sigismund on July 22, 2011, at 0:55:21
In reply to Re: Dragging... (warning uncheerful post ;-) » sigismund, posted by Phillipa on July 21, 2011, at 21:54:41
> Oh how was boarding school other than the affair?
I hated it then and forever. Six years of it. And it wasn't even really bad, not compared to some others.
Posted by sigismund on July 22, 2011, at 0:57:20
In reply to Re: Dragging... (warning uncheerful post ;-) » sigismund, posted by sleepygirl2 on July 21, 2011, at 21:56:15
Life is wasted because people will not respect each others feelings, but instead prefer their own.
Consider Fred Phelps from Florida.
Posted by sigismund on July 22, 2011, at 13:27:50
In reply to Re: Dragging... (warning uncheerful post ;-), posted by sigismund on July 22, 2011, at 0:57:20
You remember that thread about Marsha Lineham on Psych where she says she as in the chapel and a nun goes past and asks if there is anything she can do and Marsha says no, and the nun laughs, and then she is staring at the crucifix and I guess starts hallucinating, and then it comes to her that she loves herself, and she realises she has never thought of herself as myself but only as you?
That's how it is with me and love. It's why I hate social occasions, with all that clever cold reserved talk.
I need someone to love. I like myself most when I am loving another.
That's when I feel about myself, 'you too are precious'.
Posted by Dinah on July 22, 2011, at 14:55:54
In reply to Re: Dragging... (warning uncheerful post ;-), posted by sigismund on July 22, 2011, at 13:27:50
> I need someone to love. I like myself most when I am loving another.
>
> That's when I feel about myself, 'you too are precious'.
>I like that. I think everyone needs to have that feeling, and parents and faiths don't always do their jobs in steeping youngsters with that bone deep knowledge.
Did you say your wife understands, and that there is no reason for secrecy with her? Love is a funny thing. It fills us and flows over. I suppose we all make choices as to what to do with the feelings. But love can be such a powerful source of good. As well as a source of pain. Or perhaps it's not the loving that causes pain, but the wanting that so often comes with it. Hmmmm... that sounds vaguely Buddhist.
I hope this brings you all the good.
Posted by sigismund on July 22, 2011, at 15:22:44
In reply to Re: Dragging... (warning uncheerful post ;-) » sigismund, posted by Dinah on July 22, 2011, at 14:55:54
>Did you say your wife understands, and that there is no reason for secrecy with her?
No no, we're such good friends. We are so close. I have been with her almost 40 years.
After I had the guilts with that boy I became very observant and went to communion twice a week and every service I could. I even went to Billy Graham.
It's interesting how emotions are preserved. Forty-five years and it is as clear as day. I have to find a way to say to him, in the right way and in the right setting, that he was an angel to me. And I will. I believe in fidelity, in my own way.
Posted by sleepygirl2 on July 22, 2011, at 17:42:15
In reply to Re: Dragging... (warning uncheerful post ;-), posted by sigismund on July 22, 2011, at 0:55:21
In high school I went briefly to an all girls catholic school. By then my anxiety and depression were in full swing. I saw no need to study. Life seemed pointless after all. My grades were awful and likely reflected badly on what they might've been hoping would be some lovely type of eugenics program.
Aside from that, I was no bother, just quiet and hopelessly clueless, awkward and sick.
Just for good measure the head nun told me that she felt sorry for my mother. Never have forgotten that. Great educators shaping minds, warped agendas, in the name of some guiding religious ethics. Go figure.
Posted by sigismund on July 22, 2011, at 17:57:07
In reply to Re: Dragging... (warning uncheerful post ;-) » sigismund, posted by sleepygirl2 on July 22, 2011, at 17:42:15
My son and I used to laugh ourselves silly watching Daria, an animation about a depressed intelligent girl at school.
Posted by sigismund on July 22, 2011, at 18:24:39
In reply to Re: Dragging... (warning uncheerful post ;-) » sigismund, posted by sleepygirl2 on July 22, 2011, at 17:42:15
Speaking about eugenics, after my mother died we were going through the stuff and found these family planning booklets from *before* WWII.
It was straight eugenics. But not of the German sort.
Impossible to imagine the same tone used after the war.
Posted by Dinah on July 22, 2011, at 19:56:22
In reply to Re: Dragging... (warning uncheerful post ;-) » sleepygirl2, posted by sigismund on July 22, 2011, at 17:57:07
My family all loves Daria. One of my favorite quotes is from Daria.
"Don't worry, I don't have low self-esteem. It's a mistake. I have low esteem for everyone else."
I never thought of her as particularly depressed though. Just smart and annoyed at being stuck where she is. I figured she'd be fine in a nice liberal arts college.
Daria is one of my go-to shows when I need cheering.
The show did a great job with character development (with the major characters).
Posted by Dinah on July 22, 2011, at 20:02:15
In reply to Re: Dragging... (warning uncheerful post ;-) » sigismund, posted by sleepygirl2 on July 22, 2011, at 17:42:15
Religious people often do a great job at making faith look unpleasant. I always figured that God wouldn't be pleased.
A nun at my school once made a girl cry during a school assembly by asking sing Christmas carols more quietly. I'm still furious with her, and with myself for not walking up to the nun and reminding her that God wanted us to "make a joyful noise unto the Lord". Not "make an on-key noise unto the Lord." I can't see how anyone could live with themselves after making someone go from happily singing Christmas carols to crying. It was an assembly, for heavens sake, not a concert.
Sigh.
Posted by sleepygirl2 on July 22, 2011, at 20:40:52
In reply to Re: Dragging... (warning uncheerful post ;-), posted by sigismund on July 22, 2011, at 0:53:18
Should be an interesting conversation then.
Cruelty likes to mascarade as other things sometimes.
Glad you found some comfort in those times.
Posted by sleepygirl2 on July 22, 2011, at 22:07:09
In reply to Re: Dragging... (warning uncheerful post ;-) » sleepygirl2, posted by Dinah on July 22, 2011, at 20:02:15
Poor kid :-(
Hope she doesn't let it stop her.
Posted by floatingbridge on July 23, 2011, at 22:48:44
In reply to Dragging... (warning uncheerful post ;-), posted by sleepygirl2 on July 20, 2011, at 19:59:04
This conversation makes my head spin. Not in the Linda Blair way. I think I'll need to read it ten times with at least 20mins between each reading.
One of my best friends was relocated, hospitalized, drugged because she loved another young woman at 14 years old. Sometimes I just look at her mom like wtf. But she's a *nice lady*.
sigi, you know if I had a time machine, I would go back and kick the butts of everyone who ever hit a child. Striking a child is my working definition of insanity, short hand and down and dirty.
All the f*ck*ng nuns that slapped me. I don't know what people think.
Sleepy girl, am I helping? I suspect not.... I can't have an interesting conversation right now. My husband says I am cursing a bit. So I have to watch that :-/
Did you click on the link a few posts up? Or are distracting movies not working at the moment.
How about my son running into the room in boxers and a red cape shouting, carnivores to the herbivore rescue!
Or a few days ago when out of the blue he said, you know something mom? You know why there is time? Because we need it.
I don't know what the h-e-double-toothpicks he was referring to, but my mind came to a complete halt. That, now that, the complete halt, was very good.
Sometimes I look at him like who the heck are you? Where did you come from? And when I am not worried about breaking him, he fills me with wonder.
You know, if I lived somewhere else in time, or some people had their ways, well, the mentally unfit were considered for eugenics. That is the stupidest misconception of science that even exisited.
A therapist who I will see when I can leave the house on my own once said to me that it was unbearable to despise oneself because our true nature is really to love ourselves, and right there was a major dissonance.
Everyone is precious. They were born. They were children. They maybe forgot....
Posted by floatingbridge on July 23, 2011, at 22:58:34
In reply to Re: Dragging... (warning uncheerful post ;-), posted by floatingbridge on July 23, 2011, at 22:48:44
Inducing guilt in a child. I forgot to mention that. A sense of being terribly wrong.
I saw a student film of Jane Campion about either a brother and sister or two cousins of equal age. It was erotic as only children know how to be with their whole free beings before they have any idea of right and wrong shouted or shamed into them.
Hey. I like rules. I like non harming sexual behavior. But that's a pretty deep topic and way over my head.
Posted by sleepygirl2 on July 23, 2011, at 23:10:16
In reply to Re: Dragging... (warning uncheerful post ;-), posted by floatingbridge on July 23, 2011, at 22:48:44
> Sleepy girl, am I helping? I suspect not.... I can't have an interesting conversation right now. My husband says I am cursing a bit. So I have to watch that :-/
I can handle profanity fb. I use a fair amount of it myself.
and yes, you are helping :-)
but don't worry about me, you take care of yourself. I muddle through somehow, always seem to. I find things to hold onto.
> Did you click on the link a few posts up? Or are distracting movies not working at the moment.I will be using them again, soon. I've got some annoying life responsibilities I can't avoid at the moment.
> How about my son running into the room in boxers and a red cape shouting, carnivores to the herbivore rescue!
He sounds like a great kid. :-)
must be in the dna
Posted by hyperfocus on July 24, 2011, at 16:32:34
In reply to Re: Dragging... (warning uncheerful post ;-) » sigismund, posted by sleepygirl2 on July 21, 2011, at 21:56:15
What is about kids that brings out the most sadistic and the cruelest in Catholic school priests, brothers, nuns et. al? Are they acting out some repressed hatred at their own infantalization by the Church?
My mother went to a Catholic school and to this day she talks with the utmost disgust and regret about what those women put her through.
Posted by floatingbridge on July 24, 2011, at 17:13:50
In reply to Re: Catholic school, posted by hyperfocus on July 24, 2011, at 16:32:34
HP, I think it's the dysfunctional system that governs the catholic church that brings out the cruelty of the adults in it. Good, thoughtful practioners of the faith can be very kind. Some even have had to say hast a la vista to the Pope. Remember that the church, historically was responsible for scientific repression, genocide and torture. Thomas Moore, an engineer or at least henchman of the Inquistion who oversaw the torture of at least a thousand people was made the patron saint of politicians. I kid you not. This hagification ( a word?) happened in the late 20th century.
Kids seem to just be so elemental, so raw and vulnerable. They actually do not have equal rights by law, either. They certainly do not have equal rights in every day conversation.
It sucks. Sorry about your mum :-/
> What is about kids that brings out the most sadistic and the cruelest in Catholic school priests, brothers, nuns et. al? Are they acting out some repressed hatred at their own infantalization by the Church?
>
> My mother went to a Catholic school and to this day she talks with the utmost disgust and regret about what those women put her through.
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