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Posted by sigismund on April 22, 2011, at 14:56:19
In reply to Re: I wish I was left handed » sigismund, posted by Dinah on April 22, 2011, at 7:13:53
I took a little Valium and went out.
Guess who I saw?
The Blind Boys of Alabama!
They had 5000 people in the palms of their hands.
I had never thought I liked gospel much.
They were musically amazing, but it really came from their generosity and humility.
As good as Leonard Cohen. Good like that. Rapturous.
Posted by sigismund on April 22, 2011, at 15:03:39
In reply to Re: I wish I was left handed » Dinah, posted by sigismund on April 22, 2011, at 14:56:19
Well,that big man on the left is still alive.
He was something else.
Everyone seems to be dying these days.
I don't know if they are all blind. Some of them were, and one of them who was went walking through the audience, helped by someone, and touched hands with many many people.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Blind_Boys_of_Alabama
Posted by sigismund on April 22, 2011, at 15:12:57
In reply to Re: I wish I was left handed, posted by floatingbridge on April 22, 2011, at 11:58:40
Oh I started it anyway.
I'm always babbling on about politics.
Posted by sleepygirl2 on April 22, 2011, at 17:51:19
In reply to Re: When I mentioned the 'left'...... » sleepygirl2, posted by floatingbridge on April 21, 2011, at 23:10:59
Today I was sleeping, more than I should, but it felt good at the time. It's the nightly seroquel in part, and being finally off from work. Still, I should've gone outside.
I've been drawing a little, no crafting.
Posted by sigismund on April 22, 2011, at 19:00:31
In reply to Re: I wish I was left handed » sigismund, posted by floatingbridge on April 21, 2011, at 18:10:37
>Nor have I signed up to audition for a reality show.
I've seen so few of them. I did watch the first lot of Big Brother because I wanted to see how people developed likes and dislikes, and that was enough for me and didn't show me what I was interested in.
I went with a friend and our kids to the amusement park where the special house was in which it was filmed.
He greatly amused me by saying, as we walked out of that house, 'we all deserve to die'.
Posted by sigismund on April 23, 2011, at 22:08:34
In reply to Re: I wish I was left handed, posted by floatingbridge on April 22, 2011, at 11:58:40
On the subject of how I deal with whatever it is I had this conversation with my wife.
Why is the door shut?
Because I want to be on this side of the shut door away from random people who do stuff.
Am I a random person?
You are at large in the house.
So, anyway, after some more Valium (and you do need some) I saw Mavis Staples. That Gospel Civil Rights thing. She gave so much of herself, she was almost in tears, as was half the audience. I am resistant to participation, especially to suit the performer, but this was different. She was so very good, there were so many resonances and it was about something really important.
Posted by floatingbridge on April 23, 2011, at 22:58:13
In reply to Re: I wish I was left handed, posted by sigismund on April 23, 2011, at 22:08:34
sigi, before I even deal with any of the content of your past few posts, like following the link to blind Alabama boys--i haven't had time, I want to say that you are one of the very few people who can post something that causes me to truly laugh out loud. Even if it is a short chortle, like just now. You are very, very dear, who ever you are out there in the wilds of Australia.
Thank you.
I am hoping you are doing alright tonight. (Today? It's night here.)
Posted by sigismund on April 23, 2011, at 23:57:44
In reply to Re: I wish I was left handed » sigismund, posted by floatingbridge on April 23, 2011, at 22:58:13
I thought you would understand the horrors of tapering.
Posted by sigismund on April 23, 2011, at 23:59:24
In reply to Re: I wish I was left handed » sigismund, posted by floatingbridge on April 23, 2011, at 22:58:13
And thank you, of course, thank you.
Posted by Phillipa on April 24, 2011, at 0:24:09
In reply to Re: I wish I was left handed » floatingbridge, posted by sigismund on April 23, 2011, at 23:59:24
If not too intrusive which country are you currently in as your travel about with your teachings. PJ
Posted by floatingbridge on April 24, 2011, at 0:28:48
In reply to Re: I wish I was left handed » floatingbridge, posted by sigismund on April 23, 2011, at 23:57:44
> I thought you would understand the horrors of tapering.
Are you still at half dose? That seems so steep, but yes, I can cut xanax by half the first go-round. It's more difficult, the following decreases.
Are you tapering to regain effectiveness?
But you get out. That is lovely.
I think your wife must be very interesting
in her own right. Just saying because it occurred to me as I imagined her on the other side of the door.
Posted by sigismund on April 24, 2011, at 8:01:03
In reply to Re: I wish I was left handed » sigismund, posted by Phillipa on April 24, 2011, at 0:24:09
I'm in Australia, PJ. There is a music festival here with many musicians from the US, but from other places as well.
Speaking of blind blacks, I saw Gurrumul, a full blooded (I think) Aborigine from Elco Island, Arnhem Land,right at the centre of the north of Australia on the sea. He was born blind and his eyes looked white to me from the distance. He sings sweet very sad songs, rather like some island music. When he finished playing it would appear as if he was looking around somewhat impatiently. He must have been listening and turning his head. And while he did this his right leg would vibrate. He didn't say much and I wondered if he had been persuaded to leave his native land with difficulty. Some Aborigines become heartsick in this world of ours. I looked at the features of his face, so different from ours, and thought of the vile racism I grew up with ('the most primitive race in the world') and the daylight robbery that led to it (almost an entire continent). Too sad for me.
Posted by sigismund on April 24, 2011, at 8:06:51
In reply to Re: I wish I was left handed » sigismund, posted by floatingbridge on April 24, 2011, at 0:28:48
> I imagined her on the other side of the door.
We had the conversation on this side of the door, and then laughed together. Then I vacuumed some carpets, cooked some food and groaned a bit. It's probably a question of how you want to take your pain. I wanted to go out tonight so I needed to not take much this morning. I'm lucky I have some herbs; they help with sleep. I have been on it so long I have no expectations, but I would like to get it right down. I have been wondering if benzos send me into a sort of dither and paralysis. It's odd, because they are humane drugs.
Posted by floatingbridge on April 24, 2011, at 10:04:07
In reply to Re: I wish I was left handed, posted by sigismund on April 24, 2011, at 8:06:51
> > I imagined her on the other side of the door.
>
> We had the conversation on this side of the door, and then laughed together.Oh good. I'm glad to hear.
>Then I vacuumed some carpets, cooked
some food and groaned a bit. It's probably a question of how you want to take your pain. I wanted to go out tonight so I needed to not take much this morning. I'm lucky I have some herbs; they help with sleep. I have been on it so long I have no expectations, but I would like to get it right down.> I have been wondering if benzos send me into a sort of dither and paralysis. It's odd, because they are humane drugs.
I think decreasing is good, probably, and not because I am a Puritan. My tcm
woman said that my 'yin was beginning to float.' She didn't look pleased. Ask a tcm person if you can. I suspected my medications as aiding this. I also took it
to mean, but didn't quite have, the same words you used.What music festival? Sounds really
wonderful.My husband usually vacuums. When my
son went through his highly imitative (or primary imitative) stage we purchased a tiny scale vacuum for him. He'd vroom
with an intent, hilarious zeal.Oh, the Easter Bunny's visit is going to be discovered....
Posted by Phillipa on April 24, 2011, at 19:36:23
In reply to Re: I wish I was left handed, posted by sigismund on April 24, 2011, at 8:01:03
Ah so you are once again back home. I do remember our mutual friend talking of racial problems in Australia. Dry this year? PJ
Posted by sigismund on April 24, 2011, at 20:54:15
In reply to Re: I wish I was left handed » sigismund, posted by Phillipa on April 24, 2011, at 19:36:23
The Australia I grew up in was very different to the way it is now. And I grew up in the country. We called it the Deep North.
There have, of course, been further problems relating to immigrants and refugees.
But this problem was a problem about land and the fact that Australia simply could not accept, as a matter of fact and law, that there had been people here whose home it had been.
Which is, of course, too ridiculous. But that is how it was.It was a hugely wet spring, not the wet season at all, and there were floods everywhere. Now the wet season has come and it looks much drier.
I think we are moving out of the La Nina pattern and maybe we will move into an el nino pattern with drought.
We shall see.
Posted by Phillipa on April 24, 2011, at 21:29:45
In reply to Re: I wish I was left handed » Phillipa, posted by sigismund on April 24, 2011, at 20:54:15
Sigi don't you live near or on farmland or something of the sort. Yes floods here now, fires also some places, What is El Nino dry and Nina wet? PJ
Posted by floatingbridge on April 25, 2011, at 9:09:27
In reply to Re: I wish I was left handed » sigismund, posted by Phillipa on April 24, 2011, at 21:29:45
Phillipa, floods and wildfires? Wow. Really? I need to look at the news. You are alright?
Posted by sigismund on April 25, 2011, at 13:53:39
In reply to Re: I wish I was left handed » sigismund, posted by Phillipa on April 24, 2011, at 21:29:45
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/El_Ni%C3%B1o-Southern_Oscillation
Posted by sigismund on April 25, 2011, at 18:54:08
In reply to Re: I wish I was left handed, posted by floatingbridge on April 24, 2011, at 10:04:07
>I think decreasing is good, probably, and not because I am a Puritan.
It can feel like quite a stretch. I try not to think about the future, just say to myself that when it gets really bad I will take some but until then I will just put it off as long as I can, and that the less I take now the less I will need. And accept that I should make no prior assumptions about what response to this world is appropriate, and that if it freaks me out, that is cool too.
And remind myself that whatever it was that made me so frightened then, it is as nothing compared to what has gone by since. It washes over you and changes you. I was frightened of shopkeepers, I was frightened that I was frightened and maybe on even further in the series. All that youthful optimism worked against me. Abandoning that sort of hope has been a relief. No one was going to say 'I love your fear. Come here and be frightened with me'. My fear was always an anomaly or an embarrassment. Not quite a man. This painful education in what it means to be human. Big change. I couldn't give a FF now about that. Sort of like a big joke, lots of material there....and it really is very funny in a gasping sort of way. Good exercise in not taking yourself too seriously.
Posted by sigismund on April 25, 2011, at 19:00:56
In reply to Re: I wish I was left handed » floatingbridge, posted by sigismund on April 25, 2011, at 18:54:08
Or perhaps embarrassment about being frightened.
No one was going to say 'I love your embarrassment even more than your fear', and if they had, what would I have said 40 years ago?
Now (if the right person said it) I would laugh my head off.
Maybe I do believe in progress?
Quite a stretch in any case.
Posted by Phillipa on April 25, 2011, at 19:48:41
In reply to Re: I wish I was left handed » sigismund, posted by sigismund on April 25, 2011, at 19:00:56
Sigi you are a wealth of information. Thanks for the link also. And FB yes fine are you? PJ
Posted by floatingbridge on April 25, 2011, at 20:06:49
In reply to Re: I wish I was left handed » floatingbridge, posted by sigismund on April 25, 2011, at 18:54:08
> It can feel like quite a stretch. I try not to think about the future, just say to myself that when it gets really bad I will take some but until then I will just put it off as long as I can, and that the less I take now the less I will need. And accept that I should make no prior assumptions about what response to this world is appropriate, and that if it freaks me out, that is cool too.
sigi, I'm assuming you're cutting back to manage your dosage; I don't know. I do that with xanax, and just wanted to share my experience to date (which mean always pending). When I get too raw, like cutting back too fast, it's too shocking. Same with waiting till I need it. I usually wait too long :( then stretch a bit
strenuously. Maybe this isn't what you mean at all.>
> And remind myself that whatever it was that made me so frightened then, it is as nothing compared to what has gone by since.
>It washes over you and changes you. I was frightened of shopkeepers,
> I was frightened that I was frightened and maybe on even further in the series.
>All that youthful optimism worked against me. Abandoning that sort of hope has been a relief. No one was
going to say 'I love your fear. Come here
and be frightened with me'. My fear was always an anomaly or an embarrassment. Not quite a man. This painful education in what it means to be human. Big change. I couldn't give a FF now about that. Sort of like a big joke, lots of material there....and it really is
very funny in a gasping sort of way. Good exercise in not taking yourself too seriously.No, not too many folks around to say they love a person's fear. It's frightful to sense. Accept, though. Love maybe is
not the proper response--I don't know.
Withstand, accept. There are people who can accept my fear. I can accept my
son's fears at times and my husband's,
and they do elicit love. Other times they spook me because they spark my own :(But you have various people to walk with you, yes? That is a mercy. And you certainly lend a calming presence here.
Take care sigi of yourself for whatever reasons you're tapering. Are you seeing an accupuncturist/TCM person? They can work with fear. Kidney support, heart support. Shen. That's heart, isn't it?
Just more notes from the puritan. Take very good care.
Posted by floatingbridge on April 25, 2011, at 20:12:41
In reply to Re: I wish I was left handed, posted by Phillipa on April 25, 2011, at 19:48:41
Well it stopped raining and the sun is out. Good for mood.
The kid crawled into bed. That's weird. I've always managed his Easter basket, and yesterday he was given an almost free reign.
He made himself ill :(
Today, asleep by 5:30? This does not speak well for the evening ahead. I think it's only his disco nap :(
Help!!!!!! :P
Posted by Phillipa on April 26, 2011, at 0:31:35
In reply to Re: I wish I was left handed » Phillipa, posted by floatingbridge on April 25, 2011, at 20:12:41
A Disco nap? How bout an update? Love Phillipa
This is the end of the thread.
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